3
The dream broke. The only reality was in front of my eyes.
I looked around. Everything was clear as it should be. The gloomy atmosphere had gone.
I stood up and thought hard, looking around the room carefully. What I saw seemed… too real. The high pitch scream. The gloomy feeling. Everything was there. I still could feel them as if I’d been through the same event for hundreds of time.
I stretched hesitantly. My muscles were tense from fear. I spent some times to walk around and touched whatever I could to confirm that they were real.
What did I see just now? I felt as if it actually happened, but everything in front of me was still the same as before.
A dream? Reality?
I shook my head, trying to get rid of strange thoughts. What just happened couldn’t be true. But it also wasn’t a lie. I saw it. I felt it. However, I couldn’t tell what it was.
While I was trying to think about what just happened, Dad walked into the room. He laid the food on the table. Dad was a bad cook, but at least the meal was edible.
“Done.” He smiled. “I’m sure you’ll praise me this time.”
“No way.” I stuck out my tongue.
We ate and planned things we wanted to do this weekend. Many interesting movies were shown now. Even our conversation went on, as usual, I couldn’t shake what happened a while ago off my head.
My intuition whispered to me that there was a secret in there.
“Dad.” I pause. “When I was watching the photos, I saw a strange clock. Can you tell me when this photo was taken?” I left the table and brought that photo to my Dad.
“This one?” Dad rubbed his chin. “Oh, I remember now. I took it not long before we moved here. I felt a bit lost thinking about moving away from that house.”
“But a clock?”
“Weird?” He laughed. “This clock was in my room. It was not something valuable, but a simple thing can make us miss them too.”
I nodded before continued asking, “And do you have more photos of our old house?”
“Yes, but not many. Why?”
“It’s nothing...” I shook my head. “Anyway, why did we have to move here again?”
“I think I’d told you before.” He shook his head. “Your memory is really bad. I told you that I had to move because I got a job near here. My old company laid off many employees back then.”
Dad worked with documents for a big company. He wasn’t an exceptional employee, but his honesty and hard-working made people admired him. My Dad used to boast that he was so important that he was irreplaceable. I laughed every time he said that.
“Anyway, how about today’s dinner?” Dad asked.
“Suck as always.” I teased him.
We teased each other for a while before ended it all with laughter. Our dinner was always like this. No secret. No pressure. My problem was his problem too. Dad had always been there for me and listened to what I’d faced. He kept reminding me that if I had any problem, keeping it to myself wouldn’t help anything. Family and friend were another factors that could make things better. I usually told my Dad everything. He could comfort me every time.
However, I felt that I should keep what happened a moment ago a secret. It was too weird for anybody to understand and I didn’t want to make him worry about such unnecessary matters.
“I’m full.” I rubbed my belly. “I’ll wash the dishes.”
“It’s okay.” Dad waved my offer away. “I’ll manage it. You go rest.”
“Are you sure that you won’t make a mess again?” My eyebrows rose.
“Don’t insult me too much.” He waved his finger. “Everything will be all right. Just go rest.”
I thought about what happened in that dreamlike event. The clock ticking sound. The scream. The gloomy atmosphere. Is there any hidden meaning in them?
I switched off the light before sat down on my bed and looked out the window. The moonlight shone into my room. It bathed everything with the warmth of the night.
Darkness made me feel at ease. The silence was like a friend who always listened to our stories. We would be aware of ourselves when we let the loneliness touched us. Every secret would be revealed. Every feeling would be presented. This was the time to know what was hidden deep inside.
As if bewitched, both of my eyes were closed. My mind sank into the darkness. I’d heard a faint breathing before I lost my conscious.
I woke up again in an unfamiliar place. Only endless darkness surrounded me. I fumbled around to find something to hold on. Emptiness was frightening for a human and caused faith to become the most needed comfort above all.
Suddenly, everything went bright. I sat in my same old room. I left the bed and walked to a black piano stood on the opposite side. I lifted the cover and pressed a few keys. I used to learned music when I was young. I liked to express my feelings through the notes and saw colors in the air when I played. It was all memory now. Time had taken that simple happiness away from me.
I couldn’t remember the last time I played music. It was a short period of time but felt like it was so long. I closed the lid before left the room.
The house seemed eerily silent, probably because Dad had gone to work. I went downstairs and walked into the kitchen. Everything was sparkling clean as he promised but that made me even more uncomfortable.
Suddenly, there was a metal clicking sound. I tried to look around.
There was no one.
I left the kitchen and looked around again. My intuition screamed that something wasn’t right.
Courage was something you had to pick it up while fear was something that protected you. Listen to my own voice was important. I heard a whisper keep telling me that something dangerous was waiting for me but my curiosity was so intense that it erased all of my fear away.
I walked on each step in tune with my heartbeat.
One… Two… Three… I kept counting my steps. Only curiosity remained in my mind now, and it was calling to me.
Finally, I reached the top of the stairs and looked around for the source of the sound I heard moments ago. Bright orange light shone in through the window. Dust speckle glittered in the air.
Only silence was there. The emptiness was still around.
My feet stepped forward on their own, leading the way to the bathroom next to my room. I could feel that every answer I needed was hidden behind this door.
I knocked a few times, expecting some reply.
Nothing came back from the other side.
I heard my knocks resonated within the house. The silence made me uncomfortable. My breathing sound became the only music now playing.
Suddenly, the front door was opened. I looked down and saw a large shadow backed by the sunlight from outside. Footsteps knocked on the wood floor lightly before stopped.
Dad looked up with fear on his face. He took off his shoes and placed them on the shelf before walked into the house. His body was shaking.
I rushed down to greet him, hoping that the gloomy atmosphere would go away.
Suddenly, we heard a scream. It was not my scream. It wasn’t my Dad’s cry. That was a high pitched piercing scream that shouldn’t belong to a human. The pain in that voice awakened the fear in me, making my body shook before I realized.
Dad seemed confused. He looked around before ran away from the house. What he was scared of was shown in his eyes. It wasn’t the scream. It was me.
Why did Dad scare of me? What was going on?
I tried to run after him, but now my legs were chained with a metal chain. I used both hands to pull them off, trying to free myself, but the more I put my strength into it, the heavier my body had become.
The scream grew louder and louder. The bathroom door creaked open slowly. Dust floated from inside like a thin mist. I heard the sound of water dripping on the ceramic floor. The rustic smell of blood reeked everywhere. My heart beat fiercely. The scene at the front drove me crazy. I screamed on top of my lung and prayed for it to go away.
Blood spouted from the cut on the throat rhythmically. The eyes froze upward. The girl’s hand grabbed the knife tightly. Her skin was so pale that it was completely white. However, the frightening scene was nothing comparing to the face I had to face.
There was a dead body in front of me. It was my dead body.
Eyes opened wide. Breaths were short. I woke up from the fright before closed my eyes tightly, refused to acknowledge my surrounding.
The atmosphere had changed now. I heard birds chirping and leaves fluttering. Fade glow light shone into the room through the thin curtain, bathing on me. I opened my eyes slowly and tried to endure the feeling inside my heart.
The scary scene disappeared.
I lay down in the familiar room. No blood stain. No screaming. None of my dead body. I was surrounded by familiar smell and touch.
I rubbed my eyes and tried to claim myself down. What had just happened was a mere dream. I let out a big sigh before looked at the clock on the wall. It was nine ten. I already missed today’s first class.
I rushed out of bed and took care of myself at high speed. I ran downstairs, grabbed some bread, and raced out the door.
Half an hour later, I reached the university fence, but while I was about to run straight to the gate, I saw Bill waiting for me at the entrance. I slowed down, thinking of the other ways to get in.
I decided to detour and headed to another entrance at the other side of the university. It was quite far from where I was but facing Bill would be far worse. I preferred to go a longer distance rather than meeting him.
I reached the back entrance after spent quite some time going there. However, before I could step inside, I noticed a man following behind.
Bill looked at me with his menace eyes. His body leaned forward slightly. I knew right then and there that the hunting game had yet to finish. Bill would not let me go until he got what he wanted.
I leaned forwarded. My feet went tight. My heels lifted slightly. Then, I rushed forward with top speed. Bill paused for a second before ran after me.
Looking around, I tried to find a way to escape. The alley on the left? Sports field at the front? The cafeteria on the right? Whichever way I chose, Bill would follow me.
Suddenly, I got an idea. I chose to run straight forward with my top speed. Bill was faster, and he was getting near.
I had to buy some time. If I could stay away from him for a few more seconds, I would be safe.
The football team was practicing on the field. They were warming up by running around the field. I stopped at the side. Looking back at the hunter behind me, Bill sped up. I knew immediately that he wanted to end this game. I wanted to finish it too.
The moment he rushed to me, I suddenly ran through the jogging athletes as fast as I could. My nose brought in the air greedily. I ran away with everything I had. There were loud shouts behind me. I turned around, expected that this hunt would finally end.
Unfortunately, this was Bill who would never stop until he got what he wanted. He jumped up and started to chase me again. Anger gave him strength. He was even faster than earlier and caught up with me not long after that. Bill reached out his hand, attempted to grab my collar.
I rushed forward and ran up into a building. Bill was still behind me. The guard tried to stop him, but now he was nearly invincible. He pushed the guard away before followed me upstairs.
Every second was priceless. The few seconds the guard gave me was enough for my plan. I threw myself forward with my last strength. Just when Bill was about to grab my collar, I rushed into the classroom and slammed the door shut, locking myself inside.
Bill stared at me. His expression was ugly. There were loud footsteps outside. A group of guards rushed to detain Bill as he caused a huge chaos. Bill was dragged away, but his eyes never left me. I was out of breath but kept smiling. This was my victory.
“What do you think you are doing?” An aged woman was looking at me with stern eyes.
I took a deep breath before looked up. I smiled with a sweaty face.
“I’m sorry. I’m late.”
After the morning class had ended, Ton and I went to have lunch outside the university.
The food in the cafeteria was cheap, but they were not that good, both in quantity and quality. We often left the university to find something to eat.
We chose a place on the opposite of the university. It was a small diner but always packed with hungry people. The university cafeteria was infamous for its small portion and the taste that couldn’t say that it was good. Diners around the university were everyone’s late resources.
After waiting in queue for a while, we finally got the seats. Ton ordered without looking at the menu. This was his favorite place. He came here so often that the owner knew what he would order.
I only glanced at the menu before ordered as well. The waiter shouted out my order before got us the drinks.
“Today, Bill ambushed me again,” I said. “In the morning.”
“Your ex is quite scary.” Ton smiled.
“It’s not funny. If you’re in my place, you won’t say something like that.”
“Sorry but I don’t have an insane girlfriend following me around like you.” He laughed.
I took my drink before let out a big sigh.
“What’s the matter?” Ton asked.
“Just feeling bad. Everything goes down the hill recently.”
“About Bill?” Ton asked. “Don’t worry. If you see him again, just call me. Don’t hold back.”
“It’s not just that.” I sighed.
“Um.” Ton looked at me as if trying to find something. “From the way you act, you’re… scared?”
“How do you know?”
“Your face is pale when you’re talking about it.” Ton smiled. “What’s the matter?”
“It’s…” I hesitated. “I had nightmares.”
“Saw ghosts?”
“No, not something like that. They were weird dreams. I feel like there’s something hidden in them, but I can’t tell what it is.” I lifted my glass and drank. “Moreover, the dreams were more solid than normal. They stuck in my head too.”
“Umm.” Ton rubbed his chin. “You might think too much.”
“Probably.” I shrugged. “But the strange thing is, yesterday when I was looking at a clock photo, everything just went dark. Then, I saw some weird image.”
“Image?” Ton’s eyes opened wide.
“Yes. It was unclear, so I don’t know where it is.” I told him, feeling strange that I couldn’t explain what happened at that time. “I remember only… only… the sound of a clock ticking.”
“And how did you feel?” Ton weaved his hand together.
“I felt that… I was strangely familiar with what I saw.”
“Um.” Ton nodded. “And do you think that the dream and the image you saw relate in any way?”
I looked up, trying to find any relation between both strange events. Relation? Maybe it was the same feeling…
The scream. The fear.
A whisper ran across my nerve. At that moment, my mind was shut down from the outside world. Everything was about to break down. I saw many white lines ran cross my eyes as if It was a TV with a bad signal that about to disappear.
A warm touch was on my shoulder. Someone was shaking me. My eyes went dark again before a light shone down. A man’s voice became clearer and louder as if it was resonant from a deep valley. My conscious started to come back. The image in front of my eyes became a reality again.
“Dream. Dream! Are you alright?” Ton was shaking me. I looked around in confusion. People in the diner were looking at us in shock.
“W… What? What’s just happened?”
“You screamed out of the blue.” He said. He looked frightened. “You saw something?”
“Saw something?” I recalled what Ton said. “Did you just ask me about the dream?”
“Yes.” Ton nodded. “You screamed because of the dream?”
“No. Not exactly.” I lifted my glass and drank, trying to suffuse the fear rising in my heart. “I heard a scream and feared something, both in my dream and when I looked at the photo. I don’t know what it is. I can’t explain why. However, every time I think about it, I can feel that something… something dangerous is waiting for me.”
Ton nodded then continued asking. “Dream, can you tell me about what happened in your dream and when you looked at the photo? What did you see?”
“I… I can’t.”
“It’s fine.” Ton said. “Take it easy.”
“I’ll try…” I closed my eyes, recalling what happened. It was strange that I couldn’t explain the dream that was so solid. It was as if a high wall stood between me and my memory. I tried to cross the wall, but it was useless. The wall was too tough for me.
The wall of fear…
All of my memories, even when they were so solid, I couldn’t put them together. I suddenly realized that I was refusing them.
But why? Why did I fear them so much?
“If you feel too bad, you don’t have to force yourself.” Ton said.
“No. I… I’m trying. I can remember that image, but I can’t put them into words.”
“You don’t have to force yourself.” Ton insisted. “If you’re too uncomfortable, just let it go.”
“I… I…” I grabbed my head, forcing everything out from my memories. “I remember now.”
“You… do you want to say about it?” He asked.
“When I looked at the photo, I heard a clock ticking. I was scared, but I didn’t know what I was scared of. In my dream, I saw my Dad. I clearly saw that my Dad was scared of me. After that, a chain was on my legs. A bathroom door in my house opened and… and…” I stopped shortly. “And I saw my dead body in there.”
Ton lowered his eyes, rubbing his chin. He was in deep thought. Would he think that I went crazy?
“That’s a weird dream.” Ton said with a straight face.
“Where do you think it’s from? Why did I have a dream like that?”
“The cause of your dream isn’t clear but as far as I know they said that a dream is a form of your desire or some old memories. In your case, I think your dream might be from your stress.”
“Stress?” I raised my eyebrows. “What do I have to stress off to dream that I die?”
“I don’t know, but I can see that you’re scared. You might worry about something without realized it. For now, you might scare that Bill will hurt you. You might scare that your father will ignore you. That’s why he ran away like that. It can be none of these reasons as well.” He leaned back in his chair. “About the image, you saw when you looked at that photo, did you go through the same situation before?”
I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to find the answer. “No. I can remember that I’ve never in such situation before.”
“Is that so?” Ton nodded. “Dream. I’ll ask you seriously. Have you considered going to see a psychiatrist?”
“No.” I shook my head. “Everyone will think I’m crazy.”
“That’s a wrong perception. You don’t have to care about those people.” He said. “But if you insist, it’s fine. It might not be a problem if you can confirm that you’ve never been through that situation. You may just too stress and worry too much.”
“That might be the case.”
“Well, if you're worried you can talk to me anytime.” He smiled. “I think you might too stress about Bill. The way you screamed earlier, I’ve never seen you like that. You might still worry about what happened the other day. Relax. Don’t worry too much about those things.”
“Thanks.” I smiled softly and felt much better. Ton could always help me.
Ton took out his wallet and calculated our lunch’s price before put out his money. I counted how much I have to pay before put out my portion too. Then, someone called me.
“D- D- Dream.” Max walked over to us. “Yesterday, I— I— I’m sorry.”
I looked up and saw that his face was covered with cuts and bruises. His mouth was swollen so as his eyes which also blackened. Guilt flooded into my heart.
“Max, you don’t have to say sorry. It’s me who has to be sorry.” I said.
“N—No. I’m s— sorry that I couldn’t help you.”
“Don’t think too much.” I smiled. “I have to thank you. Without you there, I might be in bigger trouble.”
Max smiled slowly. He nodded in acceptance before turning around.
“If you’re okay with it, can you help me with the English exercise? I don’t understand the current section well.” I winked at Max.
“O— o— okay.” Max nodded. “I— I have another class. S—see you.”
Max left. I looked at his back thoughtfully. That back seemed so alone.
After the class had ended, I went home right away.
Ton offered to walk me home, but I refused. I didn’t want him to have trouble because of me
I walked home carefully, rushing through the alley to the house door that I was familiar with the most. When I was in the house, I locked the door tightly to make sure that nothing out of expecting would happen.
I put my shoes away and walked into the kitchen. Dad was still at work. Sometimes, he went out with his colleges before heading home. It was a small happiness for a middle-aged man living alone with his daughter.
I walked upstairs and went into my room. I locked the door to make sure that nobody could barge in. Bill tried to break into my house many times. My Dad and I could chase him away every time, but we both knew that if we weren’t cautious, we might be in trouble. Bill was the cause of all problems. As long as he didn’t give up, I couldn’t relax.
I sat on the chair in front of my computer. While I sank into the seat, my eyes fell upon a beautiful woman on the side of the table. I picked up the photo and looked at it with a familiar feeling. Mom in my memories was always this beautiful.
Mom left us since I was young. Even when I couldn’t remember a lot about her, the one thing I could be certain was the love she gave me. That was the fact that couldn’t be changed forever.
Dad had never talked about Mom with a sad expression. No tears or regret for me to see. He always acted tough in front of me. However, when nobody was around, he would look at mom’s photo silently and let the emotions consumed him.
“It’s good that I look like you, Mom.” I smiled and rubbed the photo with my thumb.
Suddenly, a piece of paper fell from the photo frame. I picked it up and inspected with curiosity.
When I saw what it was clearly, the hidden images started to reveal as if pieces of jigsaws put together into a complete image. I stared at the mysterious photo in my hand. My brain worked hard to process the information it got.
It was the image of my old house. This photo was taken from the outside. Whoever took this picture must be away from the house about 300-400 meters because I could see the electric lines in front of the house. The lines on one side were cut. They swung around by the wind.
Who took this photo? And why the photo was here…?
Suddenly, the images from my memories surfaced. The colors around me started to fade. The room was twisted into another place I didn’t know. I looked around, trying to make sense of what was happening.
This was the room I heard the clock ticking.
Numbness expanded throughout my body. All of the energy was suck dry from both of my legs. I fell. Then, the numb became a pain.
I could feel that something terrible was about to begin.
Faint breaths. Blurred eyes as if the world was about to end. I heard a scream. However, this time the scream was different from before.
It was the scream of sadness.
I looked at the source of the scream, trying to put myself up but none of my strength was left.
The scream became louder and louder. Who was screaming? Why the scream was heard from inside my Dad’s old room? I could only think all of these inside my head.
Suddenly, a warm touch was on my chest. I lifted my arm with all of my strength to touch it and looked at my hand out of curiosity.
Dark blood was thick on my hand. It was still warm.
I wanted to scream, but my mouth was shut tight. I twisted around to get away from the invisible devil, but my body refused to comply. The scream rang louder. The hidden emotion was stronger than ever. The sorrow covering this place woke up the madness in me.
I wanted to leave. I wanted to get out of here.
Let me go. Let go…
The scream moved nearer and nearer. I tried my hardest to struggle, but it was useless. My eyes moved on their own even I wanted to close them to avoid whatever was about to show in front of me. My curiosity was dancing, though. My eyes moved to the source of the scream that getting near. They caught on the emptiness that was heavy in the air.
The scream stopped near me. My eyes slowly moved to the left, went to the right, then looked above, and finally stopped at the bottom.
The scream was from somewhere near me. I tried to find where it came from for a moment before realizing the most frightening fact.
The most frightening fact wasn’t the scream, but it was the place that my eyes stopped upon.
The hollow scream. Sorrowful. And lonely…
Every scream… Every single one… was from my throat.