"What kind of garbage is this?" Shouted Vinny raising his voice.
Bridget appeared to be shocked at his sudden change of mood.
"Hun, what's wrong?" She said softly like a woman talking to her abusive alcoholic husband.
"You can't write crap like this!" Hissed Vinny showing her the cover. The book was titled Contradictions of the Bible.
Bridget played dumb. "I don't understand what's wrong with it?"
The Gadget Man griped as he leafed through the pages. "You'll go straight to hell for this. Do you want to go to hell?"
Bridget crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at her enraged soon to be husband. "You can't honestly tell me you believe in all that Biblical nonsense?"
The Gadget Man ignored her and riffled through the pages and then stopped on page 101. He used his index finger as a guide as he read from the book. "It says here that you have a real problem with Revelations 7:1 which mentions 4 angels standing on the 4 corners of the earth and how can the earth have corners if we already know it's round?"
Vinny paused for a second and then burst out laughing. Bridget remained arms crossed and tapped her right foot which she usually did when she was upset.
"What's so funny?" She finally asked.
Vinny wiped away some snot from his beastly nose. "Well, if you really read the Bible you would know about Job 26:7 and Isaiah 40:20." Vinny said adamantly.
Bridget refused to drop her defensive shield. "Oh yeah... And what do those verses say?"
"Job 26:7 mentions that the earth hangs on nothing and Isaiah 40:22 mentions God sitting upon the circle of the earth not the square of the earth." Replied Vinny trying to sound intellectual and smiling in his glory.
Bridget pursed her bubbly lips acknowledging her possible defeat. The Gadget Man still wasn't done critiquing her handiwork. He flipped through another 20 or 30 pages and then read some more out loud.
"It says here there is a contradiction between Isaiah 43:25 and Mark 3:29. Isaiah 43:25 Say I, even I, am he that blotters out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins. Yet Mark 3:29 says But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation."
Before Vinny could read on Bridget cut him off. "Yeah, how do you explain that one Mr.Smarty pants? If Isaiah 43:25 clearly states that God will forget and blotteth out our sins how do you explain Mark 3:29?"
Her pretty hazel eyes fluttered like a humming bird's wings. She was on top now and she knew it.
Vinny took a few steps back and stammered. "I...uh...I...I guess he means he'll forgive all our sins except blaspheme." He quickly tried to change the subject. "So if you don't believe in God what do you believe in?"
"I believe in Karma." She said with a torrent of confidence.
Vinny buried his face into his hands and massaged his temple while trying to keep it together. Who meddled with this poor girl's mind?
"Is Karma that nonsense about proverbs like what goes around comes around and if you do good it will come back to you?"
Bridget nodded with a perplexed look like she didn't understand why that belief sounded so bogus. It sure made more sense than some dude walking on water and feeding 5,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes.
The Gadget Man plopped the book on her desk and placed both of his hands on her shoulders. "We got to get you some help girl." He said softly looking into her eyes.
Bridget took a step back. "Me some help? How do you explain all your antics?"
Vinny smiled like a car salesman. "Oh, that's different. I was led by the spirit therefore under no law. Galations 5:18 says But if ye be led of the spirit, ye are not under the law."
Bridget chortled while cupping her hand over her mouth like she was talking to a madman. "So you think you can just jolly well do whatever you want cuz you're led by the spirit?"
Vinny stood tall showing his shark teeth which meant Sure why not?
Now Bridget was the one laughing. "You're silly! You must not have ever read Romans 13:1 which clearly tells us to submit to governing authorities."
Vinny turned his head to the side averting his eyes and staring at the paintings on the wall. He had forgotten about that verse and was shocked that Bridget knew so much
about the Bible.
"It's okay babe. The Bible always gets misconstrued. But I have one last closing argument." She was feeling good now. Feeling like a real know it all. The Gadget Man desperately tried to get himself back together to defend his way of thinking.
"We came from Adam and Eve correct?"
The Gadget Man nodded his head up and down almost not wanting to hear what came next.
"What color were Adam and Eve?"
Vinny clucked his tongue and tried to think back. "Um...the Bible doesn't say but why would it matter?"
Bridget pressed on. "Well, let's suppose they were white. If they were, where did black people come from? Even if one was white and one was black then where did Chinese people come from? How about Spanish people? A Spanish couple can't make black or white babies. It's never happened in the history of mankind! Obviously there's a lot that the Bible is not telling us and did God write the Bible? Of course not. The Bible was written by man. Are you going to put all your fidelity into something written by man that likes to tell stories about talking clouds?"
Bridget Jones had just administered the coup de grace and it hit Vinny like a freight train. It hit him so hard he had to grab his chest and hold his heart in place to keep it from falling out. He didn't answer her question but he did something he knew how to do. He grabbed her and kissed her.