It didn't take long for the Gadget Man to get released from the hospital. In the end it cost Vinny a hefty thousand dollar fine and a two hundred dollar towing fee for his creative marriage proposal. Vinny had signed a 72 hour notice as soon as the cops dragged him into the hospital and Bridget picked him up 3 days later. The frigid trailer felt so desolate without Sparky or Bridget around to bring the home to life. The Gadget Man really didn't care. Even though Sparky was dead and Bridget was at work Vinny was having fun. The air conditioner that he ran all year long provided him with more than enough company. Bridget always griped about the AC getting run in the winter time but she had learned to bring lots of blankets.
Vinny sat comfortably in the brand new black leather recliner with the built in motorized massager and guzzled down an icy cold Corona which provided warmth. He carefully read the Baltimore Sun newspaper carefully paying attention to all the details. The article went into great explicable detail telling the story of the tragic fire at Tyrone's abode on Christmas morning. Evidently the Gadget Man's manipulative plan had worked. The article mentioned that the investigators believe the fire was an accident due to faulty Christmas lights which set the Christmas tree ablaze. "People should be really cautious when putting up a Christmas tree because they have no idea just how inflammable they really are." A chief inspector quoted in the article.
Vinny let out a chuckle when he read that part. He took a long sip from the bottle when a familiar whir came from the air conditioner reminding him of the past. The 4 trouble makers in his 7th grade class were the root of his problems. The reason he could no longer teach and had to drive a stupid big rig truck. To make matters worse he was technically 0 for 4. Tyrone and Jamaal were still alive despite the adversity bestowed upon them.
Vinny sprung from his comfy chair as if Publishers Clearing House was standing on his front porch with a million dollar check. He ran to the kitchen and dug through the knife drawer until he found the special dice he was looking for. How had he forgotten about the game? As he held the dice in his hand he thought about how much fun it would be to have Bridget roll the dice. While it sounded fun he couldn't let the Bridget Jones wannabe find out about his incognito life he was living. Besides, she was infatuated with the deceit that dwelled in his chinky eye which seemed to be one of his biggest assets. Bridget knew there was a mystery in his eye like maybe he was a super hero like Batman or Superman.
Vinny snapped out of his daydream and rushed into the living room nearly spilling his beer. He sat Indian style on the floor in front of the coffee table and blew on the dusty dice. After 2 or 3 strokes he released the dice onto the coffee table and the dice bounced around like Mexicans entering the U.S.
When the dice settled down one dice read "Tony" and the other read "Kidnapping". The endorphins pumped through the Gadget Man's body and left him feeling euphoric. Playing the game was an indescribable feeling that was even better than...well you know.
As Vinny jotted down the answers to his baneful dice game he heard a loud knock at the front door. Why did it seem like every time the game was being played someone tried to intervene?
The Gadget Man mulled over that thought as he peeked through the Venetian blinds. He saw a uniform standing outside his front door and to his dismay it was not his brother Alvin. Vinny quickly tossed the Baltimore Sun under the high-tech and relegated the dice into the tight front right pocket of his jeans.
When he answered the door he was accosted by a portly looking cop with a missing button on his uniform right at the tip of his belly. Vinny put on his best amicable smile and gave the pig a quick look over.
"Can I help you officer?" He said in a sweet tone.
Officer Shinds wasted no time with friendly greetings. "Are you Vincent Young?" He said trying to look inside the living room.
Vinny widened himself to prevent the nosy cop from peeking inside. "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. Is there a problem?"
Shinds tried to sound professional. He used his guttural tone of voice. "Would you mind telling me where you were around quarter til 7 on Christmas morning?"
Shinds whipped out a pen and a pocket sized note pad while waiting for a reply. Vinny tried his best to take the edge off things.
"Would you like to come in officer?"
The cop stared right into Vinny's eye patch as he thought the invitation over in his mind. Vinny didn't look like an innocent man and who knew what tricks he might have up his sleeve once he got the cop inside. On the other hand it was extremely cold and windy outside.
"Sure." The cop finally relented and followed him inside.
The first thing Officer Shinds noticed when he entered the trailer was the painting on the wall above the couch.
"Is that a tomato inside the pirate ship's mouth?" He asked holding a fist underneath his chin.
"Yes, it's one of my favorite paintings." Replied Vinny motioning with his hand for the cop to take a seat.
Shinds quickly sat down and his jelly belly dilated making it look like another button might pop off his shirt. He turned his head to the right and noticed the air conditioner running and scrunched up his face.
"Jeez, it's no warmer in here than it is outside." He commented.
Vinny took a seat in the recliner and gave the pig a look as if to say Let's get to the point.
Shinds clicked his pen and cleared his throat. "So anyways, like I was saying earlier. Would you mind telling me where you were a little before 7am on Christmas morning?"
The Gadget Man couldn't hold back his smile and Shinds saw his shark teeth for the first time. "Um...I believe I was on the news." He said enthusiastically.
Shinds didn't even jot down his reply but rather looked at him quizzically as if maybe Vincent was playing some kind of joke. "I'm investigating a homicide Mr.Young. One of our own was shot down in cold blood. Why on earth would you be on the news Christmas morning?"
Vinny snapped his fingers twice and sprang from his chair. The startle caused Shinds to reach for his gun holster. Vinny softly pumped both his hands as if he was double dribbling a basketball signaling the cop to settle down and relax.
"I just have to get something from the kitchen. I'll be right back." Said Vinny reassuringly.
Shinds mellowed out and reminded himself that he had his bulletproof vest on under his uniform. In about 2 shakes of a lambs tail the Gadget Man cavorted into the living room proudly flourishing a yellow piece of paper.
"What's that?" Asked Shinds musing.
Vinny handed the citation to the officer. "This was my Christmas present from one of you guys!" He said enthused.
The cop's strident attitude seemed to eradicate into thin air when he read the time on the citation. His lips curled up forming a smile when he read the part about Vinny only wearing his boxers and a pair of angel wings. The Gadget Man patiently awaited the officer's response. Shinds couldn't help but chuckle.
"You know, I think I remember this now. I know the cop who arrested you. Didn't this pan out to be some kind of zany marriage proposal?"
Vinny stood tall with lucidity in his eye. He adjusted his eye patch before he spoke. "Yup, we set a date for May of next year." Replied Vinny while plopping himself back into his favorite recliner.
Shinds looked at his wristwatch then jiggled around on the sofa cushion as if he was about to get up and leave.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You still haven't told me what this is all about?" Said Vinny pushing a button on the side of the recliner which levitated his feet.
Shinds glanced at his Swiss Army watch once more while debating whether or not he had time to explain his visit. "Gary Bowman was shot in cold blood right outside his home just before 7am on Christmas morning. Gary was a Correctional Officer at ScottsDale River Penitentiary where I guess you did some time at."
Vinny cut him off and feigned an indignant look on his face. "So how do I fit into all of this?" He said fuming.
Shinds quickly tried to explain himself. "Well...um... I did a little digging and found a complaint you filed with the BOP while you were incarcerated in which you claim Bowman had allegedly tried to dehydrate you by keeping you from water. I also interviewed his son and he mentioned that his father had once talked about having beef with a math teacher. All the fingers pointed to you and we know you had motive Mr.Young." Enunciated Officer Shinds trying to justify his prying.
Vinny listened intently and massaged the side of his noggin with his index finger like a doctor or smart lawyer would do. "Well, I'm afraid I can't help you officer. I found God and I don't hold grudges anymore. My empathies go out to the Bowman family but I have a wedding to worry about."
Shinds quickly arose from the sofa and handed Vinny back the citation then cleared his throat. "Yes, I realize that and I thank you for your time." He said while looking astonished to see his own breath. What kind of an idiot ran the air conditioning in the winter time?
The two shook hands and Vinny opened the front door for the smelly pig. As Shinds shimmied through the front door Vinny could've sworn he heard a rumbling sound. Perhaps the smelly cop had left a farewell present?
The Gadget Man stood at the doorway and watched the cop sidle into the driver's seat of the cruiser then slam the door with authority. Vinny reflected back on his interview with Mr.Piggy rehearsing the previous conversation in his fiendish mind when he heard the phone ring. It took him a while to find the cordless phone until he finally discovered it tucked under his jacket on the sofa. He answered it on the 4th ring.
"Hello?" He said sounding out of breath.
"Hey it's me. Are you behaving on your day off?" Said a chic voice into the phone.
Vinny knew exactly who it was but he decided to be a wise guy. "Hey Julia, what are you up to girl?" He said cupping his hand over his mouth and stifling a laugh.
"Julia? Who in the world is Julia?" Said a voice into the phone about to cry.
"I was just playing with you Bridget Jones. What's my sweetheart up to?"
There was a sigh of relief into the phone and then a snort. Bridget could be such a sucker sometimes. "I'm over at the office and it's kind of lonely over here." Said Bridget scratching the back of her neck.
"Why don't you come over?" Suggested Vinny.
"I can't. I'm expecting a patient at 3pm so I'm just going to be bored until then."
Vinny finally got what she was hinting at. "Oh, so I guess you want me to come over to your office?"
Bridget made kissing sounds into the phone. This was her way of being cute. A few dirty thoughts entered the Gadget Man's mind as he fished around in his pocket for his keys. Bridget's boring day no longer felt so boring when she heard the sound of keys jingling into the phone.
"So what do I get if I come over there?" Asked Vinny dangling his keys next to the phone egging her on.
"You'll get an extravagant head examination! Now get over here silly!" Bridget hung up the phone.
Vinny donned his favorite jacket and skittered out the door. He could hardly wait to bring some little gadgeteers into the world.