The tiny buoyant marshmallows gradually became smaller as the steamy hot cocoa took its affect. The chocolate vapors permeated with the toxic fumes from the Newport cigarette in Vinny's left hand.
Christmas couldn't be any better for the Gadget Man as he sat giddy in the smoking room of Philadelphia General Hospital. He could feel the effects of caffeine and nicotine all at the same time. He felt fortunate that the Behavioral Health Unit he was on actually had a smoking room that even had a television. Yes, technically he was incarcerated but hospitals were a hundred times better than jail and a whole lot safer. Besides, once a head doctor cleared him he'd be back on the streets probably in a week or two. Maybe even in a few days.
Vinny sat on his blue rubber chair alone in the smoking room watching the television intently as News channel 6 tried to cover exclusive coverage of both tragic Christmas morning stories. The news talked about the fire at Tyrone's and then it also mentioned the morning murder of Correctional Officer Gary Bowman.
When the Gadget Man saw Tyrone's face on the tube he hastily threw his styrofoam cup of hot chocolate on the floor. Why is that hellion still alive? What would it take to get rid of these brats?
Tyrone was being interviewed by a pretty brunette with starry eyes and wearing a Santa Clause hat. He looked disheveled and didn't even bother to thank the fireman that saved his life and at least tried to save Shawna. Instead Tyrone was outraged and acted like the world owed him something. What an ingrate. Vinny thought to himself taking a deep drag on his Newport. Tyrone also had a worried look like he had something to hide and Vinny knew exactly what it was. Probably all the drug paraphernalia that Tyrone didn't want the police to find when they would conduct an investigation.
Vinny felt kind of stupid wearing a hospital gown of bed sheet like material that left substantial parts of his body exposed. It didn't really matter too much to him. He caught glimpses of other patients milling around in the same goofy blue and white striped gown.
There was a polite knock at the door and a dark curly haired nurse wiggled her index finger motioning for Vinny to exit the smoking room. The Gadget Man had noticed a sign earlier posting the smoking room hours but didn't think the hospital employees would enforce them on Christmas. Did these people really think they could tell him when he could smoke on Christmas?
Vinny didn't put his cigarette out but rather kept it lit and poked his head out the door. The heavy nurse was wearing her hospital whites that hugged her bulbous bottom like a static cling. She had a name tag that read "Rhonda" with a Luny Toon sticker plastered to it. It figured that all of the pretty mental health workers wouldn't be working on Christmas.
Vinny was full of ire and gave the nurse a saucy look."What? If you think I'm putting my cigarette out on Christmas you're crazy!"
Rhonda giggled, rolled her eyes and waved her hand simultaneously as if Vinny was no threat at all. "I don't care what you do. But you do have a visit." She shot back.
Vinny regained his composure and felt like a moron. Rhonda took a deep breath and held it then poked her head into the smoking room. As she pulled out she exhaled. "I see your hot cocoa made its way onto the floor." She said caustically.
Vinny stubbed his cigarette out then stood in the carpeted hallway. "That was an accident. Let's go do this visit." He said adjusting his fringy gown. He did not want the nurse checking out any parts of his body. Vinny deduced that it was probably his mother Theresa coming to visit him. Ever since he got out of prison for a crime he didn't commit Theresa paid special attention to him and let him get away with murder. Heh-heh, murder. If only Theresa knew he had done that plenty of times. Since Alvin was the youngest he was always the spoiled one growing up. Mark and Theresa paid Vinny very little attention growing up. Theresa used to teach a Sunday school class and paid more attention to them than she did her very own children. In fact she even used to give the prizes from the cereal box to her Sunday school class. Vinny used to get so pissed when he'd dump out the whole box of Lucky Charms and the prize wasn't there.
The Gadget Man tried not to laugh when he followed Rhonda down the hall watching her elephant butt teeter back and forth like a seesaw. Rhonda was by no means attractive. But to Vinny, her cute little walk was almost a turn on. Maybe the Gadget Man was falling in love with fat chicks. Amish people used to say the women with wide hips could bear many children. Thus they sought out the big mammas.
Rhonda guided Vinny to a comfy room full of fluffy sofas that had been sequestered from the others. Before they entered the room, Vinny could smell the scent of his favorite perfume Love Spell wafting through the air. The sweet aroma told him exactly who was waiting for him. It was hard to fathom how she had managed to track him down.
When he entered the room he saw the lovely Bridget Jones wannabe sitting on a brown leather sofa wearing a skimpy red dress that revealed her moist dewy thunder thighs that men would kill for. Her hair was done up just like Vinny liked it looking like she had two cinnamon swirly buns plastered to the back of her head. Bridget even had on her sexy spectacles that made her look ten times smarter than she really was. She was holding a bag from Subway and had an imploring look in her innocent eyes as if to say How did I hurt you baby?
There was an eerie silence in the room as they waited for Rhonda to put her nose back on her face and leave the room so they could be alone. Bridget broke the silence and popped a question.
"Has he been behaving?" She asked the nurse. Rhonda giggled a stupid laugh and waved her hand.
"Aw...you know....it's Christmas, he's doing alright." She said slowly backing towards the door but not wanting to leave.
The Gadget Man hadn't spoken a word yet but spread his arms out suggesting he wanted a hug from his boo. Bridget quickly got up and the two of them embraced while Vinny squeezed one of her butt cheeks to make her more alert while still holding a pack of Newport in his other hand.
"I brought you your favorite. An Italian sub from Subway." She whispered into his ear.
While they remained hugging, the nurse quietly slipped away and left them alone.
"Thanks, I have something for you too." Said Vinny unlocking the hug and reaching into the pack of cigarettes.
Bridget giggled then pushed away the pack of Newports he was digging into. "Honey, that's very thoughtful but I think these people would freak out if they saw us smoking in here." She said drawing an "S" on his chest with her index finger. To her he was her superman, but she still seemed puzzled as to why he would want to jump off a bridge when their relationship was going so well.
Vinny pushed her hand away and continued to dig inside of the pack of Newport. His face filled with gleam when he finally found what he was looking for. He had something hidden in his hand and he instructed Bridget to close her eyes. She was a little skeptical as to how Vinny had managed to smuggle something into the hospital.
"Okay babe, open your eyes."
When Bridget opened her eyes Vinny was down on one knee holding out a beautiful 18 carat diamond engagement ring and grinning from ear to ear. Bridget didn't know whether to laugh or cry. This was so bizarre. No guy she ever dated had ever proposed to her except for of course Shaggy but even he had only insinuated it.
Vinny finally spit the words out. "Bridget, you're the closest thing I'll ever get to Bridget Jones and I like you a lot.... Will you marry me?"
Bridget had to put her hand over her heart from the shock. She hadn't felt like this since her uncle Louie got her the bicycle she always wanted for Christmas when she was just 8 years old. Little tears of joy trickled down her cheeks. She stared at the diamond ring then looked into Vinny's eyes trying to see inside his soul. His eyes were dark and mysterious like there was a hidden key behind his pupils that unlocked a whole different world. She wanted to learn more of that world because it fascinated her.
Bridget gladly accepted the shiny ring then quickly grabbed Vinny's free hand and kissed it. "You already know my answer sweetie." She said then gave him a big bear hug.
The Gadget Man tried to play stupid and unlocked the hug once again and left both of his hands on her shoulders while feigning a serious look. "You never answered my question." He said keeping the serious look.
Bridget stretched out her delicate hands and played with his rosy cheeks forcing a smile on his face. "Of course I'll marry you silly." She said bussing him quickly on the lips and focusing back on the $5000.00 ring.
Just like the new television show "To catch a predator" a throng of people came flooding into the room with one person carrying a video camera and wearing his ball cap backwards. Theresa stormed into the room like she had a winning lottery ticket and gave Bridget a great big hug.
"Congratulations daughter in law." Theresa said excitedly.
A few others walked into the room and when Bridget saw Alvin she quickly figured out that this must be Vinny's family whom she never met. A real pretty brunette woman in her early forties introduced herself as Vinny's older sister Dayna. Alvin was still in his police uniform because he had just got done working the night shift. Bridget knew Alvin but everyone else she had never met but she noticed Mark looked a lot like Vinny.
The Asian kid wearing a New York Yankees cap backwards and holding the video camera assured everyone to go about their business and pretend he wasn't there. He claimed he was filming the event to enter into the "Most creative marriage proposal of the year" contest and Vinny would most likely win some money.
Bridget didn't know how to handle all the excitement but she started by going around and giving everybody hugs. "I can't believe you did this." She said hugging Alvin the longest.
Vinny already had his answer that he had rehearsed the night before. "I had to make sure you loved me. And what can I say? You came through." He said with smugness.
The cheery crowd was quickly interrupted by a raging psychiatrist standing in the doorway. The balding shrink with orangish red cropped hair on the sides waved his hands while he shouted.
"What's going on here? You people think you can use my hospital for a marriage proposal?" He then crossed his arms and shot darts of fire with his eyes at everyone.
Alvin raised his hand signaling that he would take care of the infuriated doctor. He closed the door behind him as he took Dr.Green out in the hallway and had a lengthy chat with him.
Vinny and his family took seats on the sofas and made pleasant chit chat with their soon to be new member of the family. Bridget's own family only consisted of her and her mother so she was more excited than an orphan about to get adopted by a rich family. The Young's were having a very Merry Christmas indeed and Bridget liked the sound of "Bridget Young".
Meanwhile......
Somewhere high in the heavenly realms of glory the guardian angels of Gary Bowman and Tyrone's sister wept in sorrow. Because of the Gadget Man's crafty scheme, their Christmas had been ruined.