A couple wild rabbits raced up the driveway and towards the barn as if they were chasing their own shadows. The bright headlights of the Tacoma illuminated the grassy uncut lawn and reflected off of the bumper stickers of Bridget's car. Even in his drunken state of mind Vinny noticed the I LOVE DORKS bumper sticker. He wondered if she truly loved dorks or had to resort to them because the other guys just weren't all that interested.
Bridget parked the truck right in front of her car then quickly jumped out and opened Vinny's door before he could even budge. She was proving to be a desperate woman and Vinny liked that because it meant she would have to believe all of Vinny's lies that he would tell her later. Bridget handed him back his keys and followed him up to the trailer. Evidently Bridget felt the date was not yet over. It wasn't.
Vinny could feel himself sobering up as he made his way to the trailer with Bridget tagging along holding onto his back pocket like a little harlot that just stumbled upon a man with 20 bucks. As the Gadget Man felt his body rejuvenating vengeful thoughts about his 7th grade students infiltrated his mind. Should he keep Bridget? Would she deter him from his work? It had been so long since he'd been with a woman that he decided to let his other head do the thinking. Then he wondered why she seemed so eager to spend the night. It made sense to deduce that perhaps after dating Shaggy Bridget felt that sleeping together was something to get out of the way so she wouldn't have to get disappointed later. He then chuckled to himself and smiled. He wouldn't disappoint her, oh no, he had a big surprise for her!
The Gadget Man unlocked his front door and immediately walked over to the refrigerator. Bridget followed. Now it was Bridget Jones' turn to get drunk!
Vinny opened the fridge and rummaged around for some ingredients to make a strawberry daiquiri, one of Cindy's favorites. Surely Bridget would have a liking for the fruity alcoholic beverage as well. Bridget went to use the bathroom but Vinny was not concerned in the least. He had spent nearly an hour cleaning the squalid place of business and the toilet bowl shimmered like a brand new nickel.
As Vinny watched the daiquiri ingredients vortex like a miniature tornado inside the blender, he had thoughts of taking the blender apart. Perhaps he could configure a really cool weapon with it.
By the time Bridget finished using the bathroom and walked into the kitchen, there were two tall frosty tumblers filled to the brim with strawberry daiquiri sitting on the kitchen table. She didn't know it, but Vinny had overloaded them with rum. The Gadget Man graciously handed her one and he could tell by the look on her face that this was one of her favorites.
"Nice sign above the toilet." She remarked letting out a quick snicker. For a second Vinny forgot what the sign said Step Closer It's Shorter Than You Think Then it finally sunk in.
"Well, when guests come over I don't want to have to clean up any more mess than I have to." He replied solemnly. Vinny opened the sliding door in the kitchen which led to a patio where two cozy lawn chairs were set up next to a charcoal grill. Bridget took a sip of her strawberry daiquiri and followed the Gadget Man outside.
It was a beautiful starry night with each star emitting it's own unique scintillation. Stars were like humans. No two stars were completely identical.
Vinny held her beverage while the impeccable Bridget Jones sat down in the comfy lawn chair and neatly ensconced herself until she felt just right. He handed back her beverage and then did the same thing.
"This is just like being at the beach except that the panoramic view is kind of spooky." She whispered.
"Are you referring to the trees? He asked.
"Yeah, there's so many of them. Don't you ever fear wild animals could be hiding amidst them?" She said taking a long gulp of daiquiri.
Vinny slid his lawn chair over closer to hers. "Do you feel safer now?" He said breathing in deeply and taking a whiff of her sweet perfume. He guessed it was Love Spell but he wasn't sure. He wanted to reach out and touch her soft skin which he relished so much. It was so elegant and refined that it wouldn't even matter if she got bigger because more of her might even be a good thing. Other women didn't look good when they put on weight because then their skin got wrinkled and veiny.
The Gadget Man used to hate it when his big fat Aunt Patty used to wear those skimpy dresses revealing her obtrusive veiny legs and grossing him out. Bridget had pants on so he couldn't study her legs but judging by the tenderness of her dewy arms he surmised that the rest of her was without blemish and probably succulent. He mulled over whether or not he should place his hand on her leg. Bridget interrupted his train of thought when she pointed up to the sky excitedly.
"Look, a shooting star!" She said carefully pointing above the trees. Vinny wasn't surprised in the least. He saw stuff like that all the time. Then he suddenly remembered the big surprise he had for her impending.
"Hey, do you want to see something cooler than a shooting star? Do you like fireworks?" He said like an excited little boy.
Bridget took a few more gulps of her daiquiri. The beverage was strong but she knew how to handle her alcohol. Unfortunately Vinny didn't know this. He predicted she'd be getting drunk pretty soon. She had been in and out of so many relationships that the bar scene had been a big part of her life and it took a lot to get her drunk. She set the daiquiri down on the patio and went for her Marlboro Lights.
"Do you mean like the real deal or the crap they sell at the store?" She seemed enthralled at the idea of real fireworks.
The Gadget Man coughed and chuckled simultaneously at the thought of trying to woo her with the childish crap they sold at the store. He fished in his pocket for his cellphone and then used his shark teeth to pull out the antenna.
"No, I mean the real deal cupcake." He said dialing numbers into the cellphone.
"Who are you calling?" Asked Bridget.
"I'm not calling anybody. Just watch over those trees over there." He said pointing his long sausage finger like Babe Ruth pointing to where he was about to hit his home run.
Bridget sat there feeling all loosey-goosey and entranced. Vinny was just full of all kinds of surprises. A whistling sound erupted from the trees and a tiny fireball flew high up in the sky over the trees then exploded mid air creating a spectacular show. Bridget gaped as the Gadget Man watched the reflection of the fireworks in her pretty blue eyes.
More fireworks launched into the starry night in perfect cadence illuminating the nocturnal skies making a beautiful performance. Bridget looked over at him with utmost fascination. "How in the world did you do that?" She asked trying to watch Vinny's reaction and the fireworks at the same time. She had never been wooed like this before. This was a date she would never forget.
Vinny took a long sip of his daiquiri feeling its soothing effect. "It's just magic I suppose." He said suddenly debating whether or not this was a good idea. If Bridget knew his capabilities would she be able to link him to the Gadget Man? The story was still hot and all over the news. He wasn't too concerned over the sketch they had on him because it was way off but he didn't want to underestimate Bridget's intelligence.
The 90 second firework show came to an end and they could both smell a sulfuric smell wafting through the air. He looked over towards her lawn chair and noticed her empty beverage setting on the patio adjacent to the chair. Vinny stood up abruptly then almost fell back in his chair from the vertigo.
"Let me make you another drink." He said grabbing her empty tumbler before she could object.
She stayed outside and lit a cigarette while Vinny went in the kitchen to make her a drink. This time he added a little more rum to her drink than last time. The night was just beginning and it was about to get so much more exciting. Perhaps the strawberry daiquiri would turn out to be the perfect aphrodisiac. Vinny stirred the drink once more with a long spoon and then opened the sliding door to the back patio. He almost dropped the daiquiri right on the concrete when he couldn't believe what he saw. The lovely Bridget Jones was lounging on the lawn chair chatting on her cellphone completely oblivious that the Gadget Man was standing behind her.
"Okay, I love you too. I'll be there soon." She said curtly like she was in a hurry to get off the phone.
Vinny squeezed the strawberry daiquiri in his hand with such tautness that the tumbler shattered and daiquiri oozed all down his hand and onto the concrete patio. Bridget became startled and nearly fell out of her lawn chair. The words "I love you too" kept running through the Gadget Man's head. Did Bridget already have a boyfriend? Had she duped him just to have an entertaining night?He clenched both of his fists and left over shards of glass cut deep into his palm. He would strangle her with all of his might. Right here on his very own patio. Something momentarily repelled him giving Bridget a chance to explain herself.
"Are you okay?" She asked looking very concerned.
Vinny pulled his shirttail out from his jeans and wrapped his bloody hand in it. "I'm fine. What happened?" He asked in a demanding tone.
Bridget tried to shove the cellphone into her front pocket but struggled a little because her pants were so tight. There was a prominent bulge by the time she squeezed it in.
"It's my mother. She fell down and she's hurt badly. I'm afraid I have to go." She said ruefully looking him over. She admired his perfect stature and wished it didn't have to end like this. The Gadget Man felt relieved but saddened at the same time.
Bridget arose from the comfy lawn chair and gave Vinny a great big bear hug then whispered into his ear. "I had a great time." She whispered. They stayed embraced for a while and then Vinny lifted his head off her shoulder and did something he hadn't done in a good while. He planted a sloppy kiss right on Bridget's lips and she seemed to enjoy it.
He suddenly pulled back and gazed into her sparkly eyes for a moment and watched them twitch back and forth like she was reading him just like a book. A few more ashtray kisses were exchanged and this time Bridget pulled back.
"Ummm...if we do this much longer I'm not going to be able to leave." She said still clinging to him.
"No, no. It's cool I understand." He said patting her shoulder with his left hand. His right hand was still coiled up into his t- shirt. "Let me at least walk you to your car. Are you sure you're good to drive? Do you want me to come with?"
Bridget lovingly detached his affectionate hand from her shoulder and tugged on the sliding door. "You can follow me sure, but I definitely have to get going."
Vinny followed her like a lost puppy following a convivial stranger. When they reached her Corolla Vinny gladly opened the driver's side door for her. She gave him a peck on the cheek and got in in a hurry.
"When will I see you again?" He said with hope in his eye.
"Oh, I definitely want to see you in my office. Free of charge Mr.Handsome sir." She gave him a flirtatious look then started up the car.
Vinny winked at her then helped her shut the car door. Bridget moved the car quickly down the stony driveway creating a cloud of dust. The Gadget Man waved to Bridget as numerous thoughts ran through his evil mind. You're mine now Bridget Jones. I own you and you're the Gadget Man's property now. I love you Bridget, Bridget my psychiatrist.