Meatballs Tavern wasn't just your ordinary bar. If you came to Meatballs Tavern to pick up women you were at the wrong place. In fact, if you were a straight guy and inadvertently strolled into the place you might throw up.
Special Agent Carter and his team of men geared up and completely surrounded the building. Loud music blasted from the tavern that sounded nothing like what you would hear at your local watering hole. The Gadget Man had gotten away but they hadn't forgotten him mentioning that he didn't act alone on everything he did.
Agent Carter barked commands into his radio telling his men where to take up their positions. Carter felt like he had the situation under control, at least for now. He insisted that he be the first one into the building. He barged through the front door and was immediately accosted by a burly security guy dressed all in black.
Carter brushed past him quickly almost knocking him over.
The security guy grabbed onto Carter's arm and yelled at him. "Hey man! Like there's a ten dollar cover charge, ante up punk."
Carter got right in his face and flashed his credentials. "How's this for a cover charge tough guy?"
Security dude quickly let go of his arm. "Oh,sorry dude. I didn't know."
Carter ignored him and jostled his way through the horny crowd of men gone south. He tried to think like a smart guy would and looked for a booth closest to an exit.
A few chiseled Latino men in their mid-twenties with their bodies completely waxed, danced around on a pole in black speedos with dollar bills sticking out. Everything looked very gay indeed. A crowd of all ages clapped and cheered egging on the dancers to start getting jiggy with it. Carter ignored all the nonsense and scrutinized every face in search of his target. A Giddy fellow gave him a playful pat on the rear end as he made his way to the corner of the room. This was so gay.
When Carter finally found the man he was looking for, he gaped like a pastor watching his number one deacon stealing money from the offering plate. Just say it wasn't so. But it was so! At the very corner of the room he saw a lanky GQ looking guy wearing a mauve silk button-down shirt leaning back into the leather booth seats with his hands wrapped behind his head and a broad smile on his face.
Carter was very surprised to see Alvin sitting like this. What made the scene even more gay was there was a dorky looking man sporting a floral dress shirt half-way unbuttoned sitting on Alvin's lap and dropping luscious strawberries with whipped cream into his mouth.
Alvin had his eyes closed and seemed to be loving every minute of the pampering. He was completely unaware that Agent Carter was just an earshot away. Actually both of the lovebirds were unaware because the dorky looking man had his back towards Carter and concentrated on pleasing his lover. Although the rest of the police force might find this scenario amusing, Carter was in no mood for laughs. Instead he let out a loud grunt.
"Ahem!"
Carter was not surprised that the dorky looking guy was none other but Paul Newman. Paul's face turned flush red and he thought about jetting but Carter's men closed in on the scene.
Alvin opened his eyes and immediately pictured his beautiful wife signing divorce papers. He wasn't 100% gay like Paul but he was definitely what one might call "curious". But after all this got out, he might stay with the boys.
Carter's crew surrounded the table and most of them were chuckling.
Paul stammered. "I...I...I don't understand? How did you know I was here?" He looked at Alvin to see if he had something to do with it but Alvin remained expressionless. Alvin apparently knew nothing about the bust.
Paul shifted his gaze back to Carter and still seemed confused. All of a sudden the song "It's Raining Men" by the Weather Girls blared from the loud speakers and the crowd got rowdy. This was every homo's favorite song.
Carter pointed up at one of the speakers. "Do you hear that song? Regular bars and clubs don't play that favorite gay song of yours. Do you remember when we were hanging out in the surveillance van in Chicago during the Anderson kidnapping? Well guess what? When your boyfriend called you on your cellphone while we were in the quiet van I could eavesdrop and recognized that song. I made inquiries and found out this is the only place that plays that song. We figured you'd be hanging out here." Carter said with certainty having to shout over the loud music.
Paul's jaw dropped and Alvin pushed him into his own air space. "I never called you from here! This is only my first time here! Do you have some little secret to tell me?" Said Alvin full of ire.
Paul felt like he was on Jerry Springer. "Hey man, I do what I do. You were spending too much time with Marie and I thought you had forgotten about me. You can't just keep seeing me when you feel like it. I need loving too ya know." Declared Paul.
Alvin had enough. He stood up from the table and buttoned the top few buttons on his purple dress shirt. Carter's team giggled at the theatrics but kept their backs towards a half- dressed dancer bringing out a small bucket full of cement with a rope tied to it. They sure didn't want to see that.
Alvin was still irate that he had been cheated on. He picked up a frosty mug halfway full of Lager and splashed it in Paul's face.
Paul just sat there dumbfounded. "You see? This is why I assisted the Gadget Man with taking down the FBI building. You guys think you can just push me around and use me for a tool. I wish everybody would've died that day." He said fuming.
Alvin donned a black leather jacket and forgot about being gay. "Take him away boys." Said Alvin like in the movies.
And that's exactly what they did.