The bunk room is adequately furnished with four sets of bunk beds. Nancy picks a top and I choose the bottom below her. We get settled in and I begin Nancy’s favorite bedtime story.
“Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away lived a princess and she was the most beautiful princess in all the land, but this is not her story so two upon a time there was a kingdom of dwarf pygmy septipi. You may ask what a septipi is, so I will tell you. It is definitely not some poor old eight legged octopus named Hank that had one leg hacked off by a pirate and ended up in a Pixar movie. Septipi is the plural of septopus. A septopus is a single septipi that is part of a complete new species of seven legged aquatic creatures with six legs on the bottom and one on top just for waving. If a septipi has a baby, the baby is also a septipi, if stinky old Hank has a baby it is just a regular old octopus.
Steve, the septopus, as all good septipi are named Steve or Sally, was heading to marching band practice. All septipi love the marching band and all play trombone, in fact they all play two trombones at once. They march with two legs, play trombones with four more, two each and then the one on top does the waving. On the way to practice Steve runs into Sally. Literally, Steve runs right into Sally and they drop all four trombones. Luckily they are not bagpipes or it would have made the sound of a dozen cows being squished.
Steve and Sally do the traditional dwarf pygmy septipi greeting of singing:
‘Septa septa septopus septopus septopus
Septa septa septopus septopus septopus
Septa septa septapi whooo’
They then finish the greeting the by giving a high two with their waving legs causing their suction cups to stick together. Steve and Sally separate the arms making a popping sound similar to a suction cup being pulled off a window.
Steve and Sally head to marching band practice and see the evil Doctor Hexapus who wants to remove the waving arm from all good septipi and use it to poison the water supply of the dwarf pygmy septipi. Steve and Sally are very concerned that evil Doctor Hexapus had escaped from the prison of being licked by puppies. That is where bad septipi are sent; to be licked by puppies.
Steve and Sally prepare to sound the alarm by playing the septipi warning on their four trombones. But, just as they are about to bleat trombone the warning; they realize it is just Steve their other septopus friend wearing a hat so no one could see the waving arm.
And they all live happily ever after playing trombones, marching and waving. The end”
“Dad, you didn’t tell it right.”
‘What did I mess up.”
“You forgot to tell the part about when they bounce up and down on the waving arm like a pogo stick.”
“Oh yeah, and what you said happened. The end.”
Nancy and I drift off to sleep dreaming the righteous dreams of dwarf pygmy septipi and the agents of DUCK.