The poet Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote “How sad that most people die with their song still inside them.” Perhaps in some cases it's for the best.
Lance spends too much time thinking about all the ways life would be different if our eyes were on the top of our feet as opposed to perched over our noses.
Shoes for instance…
Or karate.
He doesn’t enjoy thinking thoughts like these, but grow them as he might, the beards never help. So off they come. Hairy reminders clogging up the sink, if hairs were thoughts and plumbing was being normal. Lance should know. Lance is a plumber.
Well, a plumber in the sense that you and I are plumbers.
When you get down to it, writers and truck drivers are paid to do the same thing; sit in the same spot and go all over the place. As Lance has never earned a dime from his writing he basically sets off with nobody waiting for him to arrive.
That sounds much sadder than intended but there it is.
Reads:
41
Pages:
37
Published:
Sep 2025
During nearly thirty years working as a Junior School teacher, and subsequent work with adults with a wicked sense of humour, I collected hundreds of jokes. T...
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9
Pages:
106
Published:
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Sentient sock stories situated semi-sarcastically.
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Reads:
24
Pages:
21
Published:
Aug 2025
This is a tongue-in-cheek look at a parade to commemorate the 100th birthday of the self-styled "Divine Emperor of the Known Universe" in 2046.
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Reads:
11
Pages:
66
Published:
Mar 2025
A critic for the “Paris Review” is sent to Jersey City to interview Mark Leyner. He doesn’t want to go and is contentious with the author. They find some comm...
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