Did I ask to be born? Did I ask to be middle class? Did I ask my girlfriend to introduce me to marijuana? Well, okay, maybe yes on that last one. But I did not ask to have the Mafia, a Mexican drug lord, an Amish hit man, and the Hollywood Screen Actor's Guild all trying to kill me while I smuggle two illegal aliens across the border with a 1,000 pounds of grass in my trunk. That just sort of happened. Karma, right?