Its Socks by Edward Drobinski - HTML preview

Its Socks

Page 87

The prophecy was first recorded in the Scrolls of Static Cling, etched in dryer sheet and sealed in a Tupperware tomb beneath the lost Sockropolis. It foretold:

“When the world frays and the seams split wide, One Ring shall bind, where all others divide. In the spin of despair, in the tumble of fate, The Golden Sock shall reunite every mate.”

But the Ring was lost during the Great Bleach Flood, swept into the Drain of Forgetting. Some say it was swallowed by the sentient washing machine known only as Whirlpool Prime. Others believe it lies hidden in the sock dimension; where all lost socks go, ruled by the enigmatic Lord Loafer.

Many have sought it. Few have returned. The most famous expedition was led by Sir Argyle the Bold, who wore only one sock for forty years in mourning. His memoir, “Half a Pair, Whole a Heart,” remains a bestseller in sock circles.

Now, in the twilight of the Sock Age, whispers stir once more. A new pair; Gypsy and Moody have reunited against all odds. Some believe they are the Chosen Pair, destined to find the Ring and restore balance to the Drawerlands.