Amerika Does the World by Peter Dudink - HTML preview

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{1} Parents were very creative in those days.

{2} This phone number connects to the CIA. Please do not call and ask for an interview, not unless you really want one.

{11} My apologies. “Blahblahblah” is a sloppy quotation by any standard, but the editors did not want to further embarrass their hero.

{1} Another example of premature soul ejection, a phenomenon that has absolutely nothing in common with premature ejaculation. Fortunately, the lost soul was located and returned to its owner.

{2} Luv, the global currency of choice.

{3} Formerly known as “Christmas.”

{4} Known as “New York” before Osama persuaded Europe and Amerika to try Islam. What did New Eden look like? Use your imagination. Seriously. Try it. Imagine rustic boughs of flowers, clouds dripping coconuts and breadfruit, and kids cavorting with rabbits. Isn’t that nice? Well, that’s not it.

{5} Heliocopters provided Amerikans with the cleanest and most affordable means of transportation. Heliocopters harnessed the forces of evaporation and condensation to move objects up and down.

{6} This refers to all carnivores except the one Walt Disney loved.

{7} Government Operations and Doodies