The Seer by Clifford Beck - HTML preview

Chapter 19

Gordon thought it best to speak to the priest on Sunday, right after the service. He didn't want to simply barge in during the sermon, so he arrived as the parishioners filled in. Sitting in the back, he maintained respect for the people in attendance. When they stood, he stood. When they knelt, he knelt.

Gordon discovered a Bible tucked into a small rack on the back of pew in front of him. Picking it up, he paged through its thin leafs, stopping at the book of Matthew. He found the print difficult to read. However, moving over beneath a light, he was able to more easily see the tiny letters, and began skimming the words, composed sometime after 33 A.D., maybe as late as the third century. He wasn't planning on becoming a man of faith, but lacking knowledge of Christianity, he thought that perhaps a brief familiarity might lead to an urge to learn.

The time passed quickly as Gordon continued reading. Being educated and well-read, he found several discrepancies in regards to the crucifixion. So as not to question the faith of those around him, Gordon decided it best to keep these issues to himself. His fascination with the Bible was interrupted as the congregation stood for the benediction. Gordon remained in the back as the parishioners filed out, and when the last of them had left, he made his way to the front of the church. A Deacon approached him, his hands clasped in front of him, his posture, tall and his manner well-groomed and dignified.

“May I help you. sir?” he asked.

“Um, I'd like to talk to the priest, if that's okay.” Gordon answered.

“If this is a personal matter, you may offer your confession,” the young priest said. It was obvious that, as an apprentice, he was insistent on following the rules of the church very closely.

The priest, having heard Gordon's request, walked up, and sending the young man on to other duties, inquired about his visit to the church.

“Well,” Gordon began. He hesitated, barely believing that he was about to ask a priest about ghosts, when in fact, he believed in neither God, nor specters of the dead.

“I don't even know how to say this. I think, maybe, I'm seeing images of the dead. Ghosts.” The priest quickly became both curious and concerned. “Let's go to my office,” he said.

The priest was a kindly man, just reaching the later part of middle age. He seemed like a man transformed by his beliefs and committed to being in service to God, as well as the welfare of his fellow man. But before continuing, the priest turned back, and extending a hand, introduced himself as Father Thomas.

“Please, come with me,” he said.

He led Gordon down a small set of stone steps, and into a stately office, adorned with granite and polished hard wood. The priest, still clad in his ceremonial robes, sat behind his desk. At his back were shelves lined with books on theology, Christian history, and modern copies of ancient works of spiritual illumination. He motioned for Gordon to sit in the chair across form his desk, while the conversation made a tense beginning.

“So,” the priest began. “You say you're seeing the dead. Please, tell me more about this.” Gordon sat slightly forward, resting his elbows on the arms of the oak chair.

“First,” he began. “I'm a psychiatrist, so I'm not exactly a believer in ghosts, or God, or anything supernatural. I'm actually a very logical person.”

The priest was highly curious and immediately expected Gordon to ask several specific questions about the issue he'd brought.

“I'm not even sure why I'm here.”

“Alright,” the priest began. “Let's start with that. What was it that brought you here?”

“Well,” Gordon replied. “My job is pretty stressful, and I have my own therapist for when things get a little rough. I've been talking to him for quite a while about this, but he says I'm normal. I'm not psychotic, I've never done drugs. I don't even really drink.”

The priest interrupted briefly.

“May I ask if you've seen a medical doctor?”

“Yeah,” he answered. “My therapist said I should see a neurologist, but after all the tests, they couldn't find anything, so he suggested I talk to a priest.” The priest nodded his head and posed what should have been a simple question.

“Why do you think he suggested that?” Gordon was left without an answer.

He never asked his therapist about it. But, more importantly, he never asked himself.

“Let's get back to that,” the priest said. “Tell me about seeing the dead.”

Gordon sank down in his chair, unable to believe he was sitting in front of a priest, talking about seeing ghosts.

“They just show up, right in front of me. The last time was at a car accident. A little girl walked up to me and asked about her mother, and her mother just appeared out of nowhere. She was so glad to see her. But when they walked away, they just faded into nothing.” The priest, still intently focused, continued to inquire about Gordon's otherworldly experiences.

“Now, you said 'the last time'. Has this happened before?”

“Yeah,” Gordon answered. “I went down to Sanford to visit my mother's grave, and she...I was just sitting there on a bench, and she appeared right next to me.” Gordon was becoming panicked as his eyes began to fill with tears. The priest rose from behind his desk, and walking around to the front, sat in a chair next to him.

“It's okay Gordon. Take your time.” Gordon took a few moments to recover, slowing his breathing and wiping the tears from his eyes.

“She said...I have some kind of gift, and I'm still not sure what that means.”

“Was there anything else?” the priest asked. Gordon's memory of the event was blurred, but he did remember what she looked like.

“I remember looking back at a grave, and when I turned back again, she was gone. So, I started back to my car and there was this young girl, and she said the same thing. She said I was different because I could see them.”

“Them?” the priest asked. “There were more?”

“Yeah,” Gordon answered. “They were everywhere, just looking at me.”

Gordon also described the event that took place in Evergreen Cemetery with the boy and his dog.

“So, if I'm not losing my mind,” he continued. “And there's nothing physically wrong, what's happening to me?” The priest did not have a clear answer, as he was not a man of science, but a mere conveyer of what many believers consider to be a single truth.

“Well, Gordon,” he began. “Do I think you're losing your mind? No. And while I'm not a doctor, I am trained to recognize irrational behavior. But with you, it seems like there's only one issue here, doesn't it?”

“Yeah,” Gordon replied. “So...what is it?” The priest took a few moments to choose his words.

“According to theology, the souls of the deceased cannot return to this world unless sent by God, and only to send a message, or provide a warning.” Gordon was puzzled and asked an obvious question.

“But, what about exorcisms and angels, and all of that?”

The priest was not surprised at his question, and in fact, he would have been very surprised if Gordon had not asked.

“Angels and demons are not deceased, but created by God,” he said. “Therefore, they are not confined to their own world, but can move between this world and their own. The departed do not have that freedom, and must remain where they are, be it heaven or hell.” This was not the explanation Gordon thought he'd hear. Not that he believed in God, but any explanation would have been better than none. The priest could see an expression of hopelessness creep over Gordon's face, and getting up, walked back around his desk and returned to his chair.

“That is the way Catholic theology is taught. Does that mean it's always right? No. All those ideas were written by people, not God.”

Gordon had become a bit confused, and couldn't help asking the priest if he was, indeed true to his faith, believing everything it presented as truth.

“So,” he began. “As a priest, do teach one set of ideas, but believe in something else?”

The priest paused to formulate a safe answer, one that would not seem heretical.

“Gordon,” he began. “Life is far more complicated than religion presents it, and of course, as people, we know very little about the world. All religion offers is a set of ground rules, not explanations. That is a matter of learning. But there are many unknowns, things that only God understands. So, are there ghosts? I don't have an answer to that. But, I would like to offer you a way to find out for yourself. As far as the idea of having some kind of gift, I can tell you that God provides everyone with a gift. It's up to you to find out what that is and how to use it.” The priest pulled out a small side drawer in his desk, and taking out a business card, handed it to Gordon. Picking it up, he silently read its contents and was taken back by what the priest seemed to be suggesting.

“Father,” he began. “With all respect, are you serious? I mean, the church doesn't get involved in things, do they?” The priest leaned forward with his elbows on his desk, and spoke quietly.

“Sometimes,” he replied. “If one is to be in service to God and man, one must do so discretely.”