The Road Home by Clifford Beck - HTML preview

Chapter 28

The traumatic loss of Nathan left Eli staggering across the highway as his psyche lay on the edge of blacking out. Reaching the dirt road that would eventually lead him to the cabin, he trudged along the road, his energy having drained from both body and soul. In time, he found the spot where he had left the bags of groceries and was surprised to find them untouched. Picking them up, he started for the cabin. His pace was slow as he tried unsuccessfully to muster the energy to continue. On the edge of tears, Eli stopped near the side of the road, collapsed to the ground, and began crying. His despair was mixed with screams of anger as he beat his fists on the ground. He had never experienced such hopelessness and was now certain that his future as well as that of his remaining friends held nothing but pain, fear, and loss. As he sat grieving, the idea of suicide briefly flashed through his mind, but he didn’t possess the courage nor did he want to leave his friends behind to fend for themselves.

His grief began to subside, yet his exhaustion stayed with him like a weight chained to his feet. Still lost for the words he would use to inform the group of Nathan’s death, he decided that the blunt truth was all that was needed. He would simply come out with it and hope that everyone could absorb Nathan’s death quickly. Not expecting them to just ‘get over it’ Eli thought it might be a good idea for everyone to gather in a group, grieving together—offering each other their support.

After the lengthy walk, Eli saw the faint light of the cabin glowing in the distance. Maya’s idea of blocking out the windows was working, but not entirely. Later on, this would have to be remedied. The closer he got to the cabin, the more anxious and afraid he became. Not wanting to deal with what waited for him within its walls, his only thought now was to turn and run away. Getting lost in the mountains of Easton seemed like a far better choice than what he would soon be obligated to do and already, he hated himself for it. As tears, once again, streamed down his face, Eli trudged up to the door. He looked down at the deep marks left by their uninvited guests and for a moment considered meeting his fate in the jaws of the pack. But this would not be the case.

Opening the door, Eli walked in. Immediately, everyone noticed Nathan’s absence as their faces changed from a moment of happiness to one of deep concern.

“Eli,” Maya began. “Where’s Nathan?” Her answer would arrive shortly.

“Everyone,” Eli said. “Have a seat.” The cabin quickly took on a grim atmosphere as those who were standing found a place to sit. Still standing, Aurora became upset and demanded to know where Nathan was. Maya was quick to help her to a chair.

“Why don’t you have a seat,” she said. “Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it.”

Maya knew the instant Eli walked in, but she had to be strong, not just for Aurora but for everyone. She would take time later to express the pain that was quickly overflowing the floodgates of her self-control.

For a few moments, the room was silent as Eli gathered his words. Unable to do so, he decided to simply come out with what he knew would change the lives of everyone.

“Guys,” he began. “Nathan’s dead.”

Being the most sensitive, Aurora burst into tears. While the two had never been involved, they did share a close bond of friendship, and Aurora would feel the loneliness of loss for the rest of her life.

“What do you mean, he’s dead?” Jackson asked. “What the hell happened?”

Eli proceeded to explain the events leading up to Nathan’s suicide as the rest of the group sat rapt in disbelief. No one was able to believe that Nathan would commit suicide, but under the circumstances, they did understand. Having been told of Nathan’s fate, everyone had the same question in mind.

“So,” Jackson said. “What do we do now?” Aurora was too consumed by grief to speak, but the answer was soon arrived at by Maya. “I don’t think we should stay here,” she said. “Great idea,” Jackson said. “But where are we going to go?”

Having spent their lives in school, none of them had spent a great deal of time in the woods, with the exception of Aurora, who had put in enough time in the outdoors that she could adapt to many circumstances. But life was about to become difficult, and she would have to toughen up and get past her emotional sensitivities. “I’m not sure yet,” Maya answered. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea to stay here.” Although it went unspoken, no one wanted to stay where the body of one of their close friends lay only a mile or two down the road and the cabin had begun to feel empty.