The Renfield Syndrome by Clifford Beck - HTML preview

Chapter 15

Caspian had developed a strong distrust when it came to people. After years of abuse, he had also come to hate them and wasn’t sure if he could trust Reuben and Dorothy, especially concerning his money. Should they try to talk him into giving them access to his account, he would likely explode in a fit of rage. He had not even had the chance to recover the rest of his possessions, so the money left to him was all he had. It represented not only his future but also his life. Now he was left to decide what to do with it. Reuben and Dorothy suggested he attend college, and as it happened, there was a two-year school not far away, and with Caspian’s permission, they decided to take him on a tour of the campus. Maybe seeing a college campus would generate enough interest that he might want to attend. He could do so for a semester and then choose whether he wanted to continue.

Fulton-Montgomery Community College was set back far from both Gloversville and Johnstown. Not many understood that it was Thomas Jefferson who developed the system of higher education with the idea of placing college campuses on the outskirts of towns and cities. This allowed students to study without the distraction of the real world, and for the most part it seemed to work. Reuben and Dorothy drove Caspian to the campus during the early part of October, and getting out of the car, he was struck by its size. He had seen the college website, but it didn’t compare to what lay sprawled out in front of him. The programs offered seemed to be heavy in technology, but Caspian felt himself leaning towards art. Something inside him had begun screaming for expression, and a class in art might be the ideal vehicle. But the question was whether he wanted to take a class, to be around all those other people. He was definitely impressed by the size of the campus as well as the complex nature of the programs the college offered. In the end he felt that he didn’t need to take a class to take up art.

Caspian quickly became transfixed by all things artistic yet took a specific interest in painting. Withdrawing a bit of money from his Roth IRA, he purchased a book on oil technique, and after reading it from cover to cover, he felt he was ready to begin. So withdrawing two hundred dollars more, he went to a local art store in downtown Johnstown, purchasing an easel, a palette, a variety of brushes, and a dozen tubes of various colors. All he needed was a bit of inspiration, and it wasn’t long until an idea rose from deep within his subconscious. The idea itself was horrifying and reflected the inner turmoil and pain he was still experiencing. But he discovered that oil canvases are expensive and was forced to settle on a large pad of heavy drawing paper.

The idea for his first work had set in, and after getting Reuben and Dorothy’s permission, Caspian set up a space in the cellar. The paper lay flat on the concrete floor, but for the sake of minimizing any mess, he spread out a sheet of plastic beneath the paper. This seemed to do the trick, and Caspian set about his first creation. Using a broad brush, he began by dabbing the end of the bristles in black paint. Reflecting the darkness and pain that plagued his mind, he painted broad strokes across the paper, noticing that little, if any soaked through to the other side. If he was pleased with the outcome, he would buy a canvas and try something a bit more serious. But for now, paper would do.

He sometimes worked for hours mixing colors, creating shapes, and bringing to life the things that haunted his soul. Rueben and Dorothy understood his need to purge himself of the torture that had been inflicted upon him. Their only concern was that it might not be enough.