The Onyx Seed - A Story of Survival by Clifford Beck - HTML preview

Chapter 28

Having settled in near the southern edge of Beaver Lake, the first order of business was food. And while everyone was hungry, Tessa and Wyatt would be first to be fed. Neither of them appeared to have eaten in days and Marty wanted to prepare a quick dinner to get everyone settled in as soon as possible. Yet as he retrieved the necessary items for dinner, Tessa approached him and asked if he planned to start a fire for the night.

“Um, yeah,” he replied.

“Would you mind if I took care of that?” she asked. “Sure,” Marty answered. “Do you have any matches?”

“Matches?” she replied. “Shouldn’t we save those for an emergency?”

Marty looked at her with an inquiring grin. “So, without matches,” he began. “How are you going to start the fire?”

“Well,” Tessa answered. “I’ve done it a few times before. Do you mind?”

“Okay, do you need any help?” Marty asked. “I don’t think so,” she answered. Marty was familiar with the techniques of starting a fire, but he was curious to see if Tessa could really do it and the way she would accomplish it.

Tessa collected as much dried tinder as she could find, Birch bark, some dead grass, small twigs, and pine needles. She wandered around the immediate area, looking in adjacent campsites for scrap wood and it wasn’t long before she found a flat, half charred piece of wood.

“Perfect,” she whispered.

Returning to camp, she made a bow using a shoelace and a drill from a long-dried stick. Twenty minutes later and with Marty looking on, Tessa had blown a single coal into a roaring fire. Knowing Marty was watching, she turned to him with a grin. “How’s that?” she asked.

As much as he was impressed, he was not surprised. During an earlier conversation, he learned about the skills she had been raised with and quickly came to see her as an asset.

“Not bad,” Marty answered. “What would you have done if it was raining?”

Tessa took a moment to consider his question. If there was anything she knew about starting a fire, it was that wet wood doesn’t burn.

“I guess I’d find another way to stay warm,” she answered.

Marty nodded with a slight grin at seeing Tessa beginning to emerge from her ordeal. But her answer inadvertently brought up an important issue that needed to be addressed and it would have to be addressed tactfully.

Julie had been keeping an eye on Wyatt as Tessa started the fire. She stepped out of the RV holding his hand and leading him over near the fire, prompted him to sit next to Tessa.

“Guys, we’ll be right back,” she said. Approaching Marty, she took his arm and led him down to the lake.

“Marty, we have to do something about the baby. It’s starting to smell.”

“Yeah,” he replied. “We’re going to deal with that tonight.”

They both glanced back at Tessa and Wyatt as they sat huddled together in front of the fire. “There’s something else,” Marty continued. “What about sleeping arrangements?”

With everything that had happened over the last few hours, it hadn’t occurred to Julie that sleeping arrangements would have to be rearranged. “Well, I think we should do something about the baby first,” Julie whispered. “I mean, I don’t know about you, but I’m a little creeped out about the idea of sleeping almost right next to a dead baby.”

“Yeah,” Marty replied. “But it’s getting dark, and we don’t have a shovel.”

This needed to be resolved quickly, and they stood struggling for a solution. Within moments, Marty was struck with a somewhat odd idea. “What about the lake?” he asked quietly. Julie shook her head in confusion. “What?” she replied. “You can’t just throw it into the lake.”

“Well, isn’t water supposed to be holy or something?” he asked. “I mean, don’t they baptize people in water?”

They glanced over at Tessa again who, while contemplating the dancing flames, looked as though she was becoming tearful.

“Let me talk to her,” Julie said.

They walked back to the fire where Tessa sat with her arms around Wyatt.

The evening air had become slightly chilled and Tessa had surrounded him with her body’s warmth. “Um, Tessa,” Julie began.

There was no good time or way to bring this up, but it had to be discussed.

“We have to do something about my baby, don’t we?” Tessa interrupted.

She knew it would have to happen sooner or later. Either way, she wasn’t even close to being emotionally prepared for it. Then again, no one ever is.

“Can we bury him?” she asked meekly. Taking a deep breath, Julie dropped her head slightly. This was, without a doubt, the most difficult conversation she’d ever had with anyone. “I’m sorry,” she began. “We don’t have a shovel.” Marty suddenly brought up what he believed was a valid point.

“And besides,” he began. “I’d be afraid that the animals would dig him up.”

Hearing this, Julie was quick to continue the conversation in a more sensitive tone as she put a hand on Tessa’s arm.

“What do you think of putting him in the lake?” Tessa looked at her as a tear gently ran down her face. She so badly wanted a proper Christian burial, but she understood their reasons for suggesting the lake. Tessa’s eyes continued to tear up and as she wiped them away, she quietly answered, “Okay.” This conversation was relatively easy compared to what followed. Julie gave Tessa’s shoulder a gentle squeeze as she got up and retreated to the RV. Within only minutes, she returned with a flashlight and the wrapped body of Tessa’s baby. Marty and Tessa stood up as Julie stepped towards the fire. Tessa looked down at Wyatt and stretched a hand out to him.

“C’mon, baby,” she said. “There’s something we’ve got to do.”

She approached Julie and took the wrapped body into her arms, and with Wyatt holding her hand, everyone walked the thirty or so yards to the edge of the lake. Marty led the way with the flashlight illuminating the woods in front of them. His mind raced with a single thought. ‘What do I say?’ As a soldier, he was a man of few words and not accustomed to speaking with eloquence. Marty and Julie whispered briefly about how to most respectfully handle the disposing of the body. There were only two choices and one was far from kind. The tiny body was handed to Marty, who unwrapped the sheet and held it in his hands. However, it was Julie who agreed to give a short eulogy. Initially, she fumbled for words yet soon found herself speaking from her heart, not as a person of faith, but as a woman who readily identified with the idea of bearing children. Although, she would not feel the need to do so.

Tessa cried the entire time while Wyatt clung to her leg. He was clueless as to what was taking place but cried in response to his mother’s pain. Fortunately, he was young enough that he would likely never remember this tragic course of events. Julie was also near tears as she finished her short, yet heartfelt words. Marty, still cradling the small body, stood in disbelief at what he was about to do. He had done many things in Iraq -- some, he was not proud of. All the same, the one thing he never imagined himself doing was carrying out the funeral of a baby. And from Tessa’s story, it seemed that the infant never actually suffered. He glanced back at Julie, who nodded her head slightly. They had agreed that the most appropriate way to do this was to walk out into the lake and simply allow the child’s body to gently drift to the bottom. Julie held Tessa as Marty stepped out into the water. And as the moon crept up into the horizon, Marty found himself a little more than waist-deep in the cold dark water of Beaver Lake. He lowered the infant into the water, allowing the sheet to become saturated. But there was a problem. The gases of decay had begun to accumulate in its abdomen, causing the infant to bob to the surface like a cork. Marty glanced back at Tessa, who continued to weep in Julie’s arms while Wyatt had fallen to a sitting position, crying over his mother’s grief.

Night was fast approaching as the first of millions of stars flickered to life. He couldn’t stand the thought of letting the infant simply float out across the lake. The sight of death was difficult enough to absorb. But to watch a dead baby lying on the surface of the lake, no matter how serene, was not something he thought Tessa and Wyatt should have to see. So, under cover of the rapidly oncoming darkness, Marty slipped a hand into his pocket and retrieved his knife. Opening it quietly, he held the baby’s small lifeless body under the water, and piercing its abdomen released a storm of bubbles followed by an opaque cloud of greenish fluid. Letting the body tumble from his hand, Marty watched it drift away slightly and sink to the bottom. Before turning back toward the edge of the lake, Marty folded his knife and slipped it into the breast pocket of his shirt. He walked silently back to the RV to change out of his wet clothes but not before stopping and putting a hand on Tessa’s shoulder. Later, except for his shoes, he would discard them in the woods. Not just because they served as a painful reminder of having disposed of a dead baby by knifepoint, but given enough time, the body fluids they had absorbed would be released into the air. And in the enclosed space of the RV, the smell would quickly become overpowering. He had also taken Tessa into consideration, with the thought she should not have to ride in a vehicle filled with the odor of her baby’s dead flesh.

He sat on a log, in front of the fire, half-listening as Julie made her best attempt to convince her there was nothing she could have done. The half that wasn’t listening was trying to block out the entire event. With his head in his hands, his mind became consumed by the desire for alcohol. “Son of a bitch,” he thought. “I’d kill for just one motherfucking beer.”

He was not a whiskey drinker but decided that their next stop for supplies would include a fifth of whatever he could find. He wasn’t planning to spend the rest of his life in a drunken haze. However, at times like this, an occasional would certainly take the edge off.

Julie walked Tessa and Wyatt the short distance back to camp. She gave each of them a hug and showed them to a place in front of the fire. It wasn’t long before Wyatt, having laid his head on Tessa’s lap, drifted off to sleep. She gently stroked the side of his head with her fingers and turning to Marty and Julie, inquired as to where they would sleep. Julie looked at Marty, hoping he would have a tactful answer. They had intended to approach this issue. However, the more serious matter of disposing Tessa’s dead baby ha taken priority.

“Um, well,” she began. “I guess you can take our room.”

Marty was not comfortable with this idea and wanted to maintain their privacy.

“Oh, no,” Tessa replied. “I couldn’t do that.” Julie put a handout, gesturing her insistence. “No, it’s okay,” she said.

Tessa took a moment to study their faces and reached the conclusion that her instincts were correct. “You’re a couple, aren’t you?”

Marty and Julie sat looking at each other, while both considered the idea for a time.

“Uh, yeah,” Julie answered.

“Well,” Tessa answered. “I’m not about to have you two sleeping apart. I know I’m young, but I know love when I see it.”

They both found themselves feeling somewhat self-conscious. Mostly, because they knew Tessa was right. So, retreating into the RV for the night, Tessa decided that she and Wyatt would sleep in the bed over the cab, with Wyatt near the window so as not to roll out onto the floor. Although Marty was relieved by her decision, Julie wanted to be more accommodating. On the other hand, as a woman, she knew that Tessa would likely not change her mind and continue in her insistence.

As the night wore on, Tessa and Wyatt fell into a sound sleep. No doubt a result of the stress they’d recently experience. Marty and Julie, however, lay next to each other, awake with frustration and self-consciousness. The idea of sex suddenly took a back seat to the presence of a young mother and child. They turned and faced each other, kissing lightly. Marty brushed a fingertip over Julie’s lips while speaking in a whisper.

“God, I fucking want you,” he said. Julie, feeling at least as frustrated, buried her face in his chest.

“I know,” she replied tensely.

“Hey, I got an idea,” Marty began. “How about tomorrow we go for a walk? Not too far away. Just for a quickie.”

“That’s a great idea,” Julie whispered. “Do you think Tessa and Wyatt will be okay?”

“I think so,” Marty answered.

They silently kissed each other’s mouths while pressing their tongues together. Julie was forced to bring an end to their mounting passion as Marty let out a deep sigh of frustration.

“I know,” he said. “Tomorrow.”

With some effort, both of them fell asleep in each other’s arms. Everyone had slipped into a quiet, undisturbed sleep except for Tessa, whose somnolent mind clattered with the ongoing memory of watching her baby sink below the surface of the murky lake. It’s calm, slightly smiling face being covered by the chilly water, then disappearing back into the earth, wherefrom all things arrive. This memory would never leave her. It would haunt her dreams, creating a black stain on her soul that she would carry forever. And she would always blame herself.

Morning arrived fairly early as the sun rose over the lakes’ eastern pines. Lifting a thick fog from its placid waters. Marty and Julie rose as Tessa and Wyatt still lay sleeping. Tessa’s mind had, at that point during the night, calmed enough that she was able to drift off. After quietly closing and locking the passenger’s door, they wandered off to a nearby stand of Pine trees, with Julie having draped a blanket around her shoulders. Although she had come to enjoy making love in the woods, she preferred the cover of night. But with their options now limited, one must take their opportunities when one can.

Sometime later, they walked out of the woods hand in hand. And as Marty and Julie approached the RV, they noticed the smell of coffee permeating the air. They looked at each other wonderingly as Tessa stepped out of the RV holding a mug of hot coffee. Her eyes looked tired and bloodshot as if she’d spent the night crying. Julie quickly walked ahead and putting a hand on her shoulder, inquired as to how she was feeling.

“I’m okay,” Tessa answered.

Julie sensed an obvious degree of uncertainty in her voice and stepping around to face her asked, Are you sure?

“Yeah,” she answered. “I’ll be okay.”

She was trying to be strong, but Julie was more than aware that, given the circumstances, Tessa would never adequately cope with the loss of her baby and as she took a quick sip of her coffee and tried to change the subject.

“So, you two go for a little walk?” she asked. Marty and Julie looked to each other, fumbling for a response that would be convincing, yet evasive, to avoid the embarrassment of having just had sex in the woods.

“You don’t have to explain,” she continued. “My first time was in the woods. It wasn’t all that romantic but damn it was good.”

Marty and Julie glanced at each other with playful grins and slightly flushed faces as Tessa motioned back to the RV after another sip of coffee. “I made coffee while you two were out, if you’re interested,” she said.

“Oh, thanks,” Julie said.

She turned to Marty and nodded him toward the RV. As they approached it, Wyatt opened the passenger’s door and stepped out. Still, half asleep, he toddled over to the one place he felt safe. Next to his mother. Julie looked down at him as a single thought entered her mind.

“Have you two had breakfast yet?” she asked. Tessa looked down at Wyatt as she brushed his hair into place with her fingertips.

“I think I can throw something together,” she answered.

“You know, why don’t you two get some time together,” Julie began. “I’ll take care of breakfast.” Tessa, still looking down at Wyatt with a hand gently placed on his head, asked, “Sweetheart, you want to go for a walk?”

Without uttering a word, he looked up at her and simply nodded his head. But as they walked toward the road, Marty stopped them with a single request. “Don’t go too far, okay?”

Tessa took Wyatt’s hand as she turned back toward Marty.

“We’ll stay close,” she replied.

Marty and Julie went into the RV as they started down the road. Julie began preparing breakfast as Marty raised some concerns about their new passengers.

“So, what do you think?” he asked. “I don’t know,” Julie answered. “I think we’re just going to have to let things work themselves out.” Marty looked out the RV’s small window, watching as they made their way down a short distance of the road.

“What do you think happened to the father?” Marty asked.

Julie was mixing pancake batter and without missing a beat, answered, “He’s probably dead.” Marty continued watching as they walked back and headed down to the lake’s edge.

“Do you think he could use a father figure?” he asked.

Julie looked at him with pleasant surprise. “Really?” she asked. “I had no idea.” Marty spoke hesitantly, trying to formulate a response that would conceal the embarrassment of his maternal side.

“Well...it’s just that...if something happens, he’s going to need someone in his corner, right?” Julie stopped what she was doing, walked up to him and kissed on the lips.

“You are incredible!” she said. “I had no idea you liked kids.”

Marty flushed with embarrassment. “I’ve never really thought about it,” he said. “But what if something happens? There’s no guarantee that we’re all going to get through this.” He didn’t mean to sound as though death lurked around every corner. In Marty’s mind, he was being realistic and felt that certain issues demanded discussion. Julie returned to the task of preparing breakfast as Marty continued to watch Tessa sitting on a rock near the lake, holding Wyatt on her lap. “Do you think he’ll ever start talking?” Marty asked. Even as a nurse, trained specifically to deal with trauma, Julie was unable to answer his question. “Maybe...I don’t know,” she answered. “Kids can be pretty resilient but something like this...I just don’t know.”

Moments later, the passenger’s door opened as Tessa and Wyatt entered the RV. “Smells like breakfast is ready,” Tessa said.

They walked back to the living area as Julie was setting the table.

“You didn’t have to go to so much trouble,” she continued.

“Actually,” Julie began. “We eat like this all the time.”

Tessa seemed genuinely surprised as the four of them sat down at the table. As pancakes were distributed and powdered milk poured, a jug-shaped bottle caught her eye. With a look of amazement, she reached over, picked it up and closely examined it. “Is this syrup?” she asked.

Marty and Julie looked at each other in bewilderment. “Every once in a while Marty will pick up something special. It’s really not a big deal.” Tessa opened the bottle and poured some of the sweet bronze liquid out onto Wyatt’s pancakes. “You don’t understand,” she began. “I grew up dirt poor, and we didn’t have things like this. My mama only got what we needed.”

Julie became curious, having rarely heard of people living in that level of poverty.

“So, what did your father do?” she asked. “My daddy?” she replied. “My daddy was a drunk. He beat my brothers and cheated on my mother. Everything was fine ‘til I started getting older. I guess we just got in the way. So, while my mama was trying to feed us, he was outspending his check on fancy dinners. If this disease, or whatever it is, killed only one person, it should have been him!” Julie was speechless and as her mouth fell open in both shock and the regret of having asked such a question, she offered an immediate, heartfelt apology. “Tessa,” she began. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s okay,” Tessa replied. “I guess I have a few issues.”

The end of breakfast found everyone full and somewhat sedate, but as morning began to grow late, the necessity to carry out the day’s routine became apparent and the priority was always the same, firewood.

For centuries, fire has been the symbol of civilization, industry, and the advancement of humankind. Nevertheless, civilizations take thousands of years to develop and sometimes only a few decades to collapse. And while the Roman empire took four hundred years to consume itself, the modern world required only weeks to topple. Now, fire was no longer the icon of an advanced world, but a necessity for survival. Without fire, life was a short endeavor destined for failure. Everyone scoured the woods surrounding the camp. Even Wyatt did what he could, gathering small sticks and twigs for the fire. Marty collected a few more rocks from near the lake as his mind flashed back to the previous night. The baby’s lifeless face had etched itself on his soul. As did the feeling of pushing his knife through its soft, decaying tissue. It was a visceral sensation that crept through the blades’ tempered steel and into his hand. That one moment left Marty with a traumatic yet indescribable experience that he never wanted to repeat.

Meeting back at the RV, everyone dropped their armloads of wood in a pile to be sorted later. The remainder of the morning, as well as early afternoon, were spent gathering as much firewood as possible. They would be there for the next few days, and Marty wanted to make sure they were well stocked. Eventually, they would begin searching neighboring campsites for leftover wood. But for now, he thought it important for everyone to relax. Especially after the previous night’s painful events. And while Marty and Julie sat in front of the fire, Tessa would spend most of her time sitting near the lake. Sometimes weeping. Sometimes staring out at its calm, glassy water. She had quickly come to see it as the mausoleum for her child, who had likely passed before even reaching her arms. During lunch, Tessa inquired as to where they were going. Her head was beginning to clear enough that she was able to begin considering their future. “We’re going to the Adirondacks,” Marty answered. She paused to think about where the Adirondacks were but drew a blank. Having lived a very sheltered life, Tessa knew little of the world that lay beyond her small, isolated hometown. Marty explained that where they were going sat just outside the southern edge of an area in upstate New York, covering sixteen million acres of land.

“We’re going to my hometown,” he said. “We’ll be fairly isolated, but still, be able to get what we need from a couple of nearby cities.”

Initially, he considered an outlying area somewhere between Johnstown and Amsterdam. He knew his parents were from the city of Johnstown and used to live somewhere on the hill of South Williams Street. Now, he began to wonder if being on a hill might be a better location than in the outlying farmland. At any rate, he would make that decision another time.

For now, the woods served as a more than adequate shelter from the potential threats of life in the city. Had Marty been traveling alone, he would certainly be wandering from place to place, living almost exclusively in wooded areas. But traveling in a group meant making certain concessions for the benefit of everyone’s welfare, so they would always find themselves straying into cities for food and supplies.

After four or five more days, Marty began talking about moving on to their destination. And while Julie agreed, Tessa would have to be consulted. After all, her baby still lay on the muddy bottom of the lake, and she may want to stay for a couple more days. Yet to their surprise, she was eager to leave, not wanting Wyatt to be tied down by her grief. But an overwhelming part of her wanted to stay, believing that her baby’s soul required tending to in the form of constant companionship. However, she managed to convince herself that her child now lay in the arms of God, protected from all manner of evil, waiting for her own inevitable arrival.

To save time at their next location, Marty bundled some firewood and tied it to the roof of the RV. With their supplies secured in cabinets and storage bins, everyone climbed in. Tessa and Wyatt stepped back into the living area while Julie sat in the passenger’s seat. Marty started the RV and turning out of the campsite, slowly drove toward the park entrance. Except for their first night, the time they’d spent there had been largely uneventful. The nights had been cold and clear while the days were temperate and calm. Had the park been located closer to the outskirts of a large city, Marty would have given serious consideration to going elsewhere. Even though he thrived on the beauty and isolation of the woods and mountains, he realized that not everyone was suited for that level of aloneness, and he would never impose that life on anyone who was not psychologically fit for it.

Leaving the park, they drove out through Chesterfield and north onto route 288 west. Marty felt a cautious sense of relief, knowing they were getting progressively closer to their planned destination. He consulted a road map of the city of Richmond and determined that although the shortest route was certainly the fastest, it would take them straight through the heart of the city. And Marty had, on several occasions, learned that to avoid trouble, one had to stay clear of areas that were previously heavily populated. The 288 circle was far enough from Richmond that the city itself had become shielded by distance. Driving west and north around the city proved to be a lengthy endeavor, but with the absence of traffic, Marty felt comfortable exceeding the now unenforceable speed limit. Thus, shortening their driving time.

Meanwhile, Tessa and Wyatt had taken refuge on the bed as Julie fell asleep in the passenger’s seat next to Marty. The last few days had been marred by the tension of the lakeside funeral for Tessa’s baby, who was now given over to whatever people of Christian persuasion believed in. Like Julie, Marty had never given much thought to religious matters and as far as God was concerned, Marty questioned the very idea that any benevolent being could stand by and watch His noble creations pass into oblivion without the smallest bit of intervention. As everyone slept through the boredom typical of lengthy highway travel, Marty turned right onto route 271 and within thirty minutes or so, found the turnoff leading east to Route 295. The summer foliage was still in its early growth. Unlike L.A., the passing of the seasons was far more pronounced, leaving the earth to its heavily demarcated cycles of growth and withering. As a result, Marty found the terrain comparatively featureless, but shortly after crossing Route 33, his attention was drawn by something in the distance, something he did not, at first, recognize beyond being an unmoving shape on the side of the highway. As they got closer, Marty saw the shape take on a more detailed form until it became human.

He stopped roughly two hundred feet away and retrieved his binoculars. After all the death he had seen, there was something about what he was looking at that didn’t make sense. The body was intact. There was no bloating, and even at this distance, Marty could see no discoloration of any exposed areas. “Julie,” he whispered.

Not wanting to wake Tessa and Wyatt, he kept his voice at a whisper.

“Julie.”

This time, he gently nudged her, waking her from a deep sleep. She stirred a bit while her eyes blinked. An indicator that her mind was drifting back to a state of awareness.

“What?” she replied, as she stretched the stiffness from her tired body.

“Julie, come on, wake up. I think we might have company,” Marty said, still in a whisper.

Marty’s words grabbed Julie’s attention and shook her mind into a complete state of wakefulness. “What?” she asked with a start.

Marty quickly asked that she keep her voice down, pointing a thumb toward the back bedroom where Tessa and Wyatt still slept. Handing her the binoculars, he pointed to the place on the side of the highway.

“Do you see that?” he asked.

Julie studied the form closely when she saw a slight bit of movement. She thought her eyes were playing tricks on her. Lowering the binoculars, she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and raising them again, continuing to focus on what she honestly believed to be another rotting corpse.

“Marty, I don’t know,” she began. “I think it just might be another body on the side of the road.” Then, something happened that took both of them by surprise, something that easily fell into the category of the unbelievable. The seemingly lifeless body turned itself over.

“Holy shit!” Julie exclaimed. “Did you see that?!” Even without the binoculars, Marty could see that whoever it was lying on the side of the highway had, indeed, turned themselves over onto their back. The question now was what to do. Marty saw three options. The first was to simply drive by and leave them to die of starvation, or worse. The second was to stop, make a quick assessment and give them enough food and supplies to get them to the next town. Their first option did not seem, to either Marty or Julie, as being very humane. The world may have lost nearly all its humanity, but those traveling in the small RV somewhere on the highway didn’t have to lose their humanity. There was, however, a third option. They could simply take them in. This seemed to be the most human thing to do, and if problems developed, Marty would deal with them.

“Julie, what do you think?” he asked. He wanted to do the right thing. On the other hand, he also realized that one more person would be stretching their supplies considerably and the RV was only so big. If tensions or conflict arose, Marty would have to step in. With what he had seen in Iraq, he considered conflict to first be subject to diplomacy. When that failed, other measures took its place. “I don’t know,” she answered. “I suppose we should, at least, take a look — see what kind of shape they’re in and go from there.”

Marty nodded in agreement and drove the remaining distance to where the as yet unidentified person lay on the shoulder of the highway.