The Cool Room by Clifford Beck - HTML preview

Chapter 19

Jonathan and his wife lived on Eighth Avenue, a couple of blocks from the train tracks, and after the client he and Emily finished preparing had been returned to the refrigerator, he returned home. There, he found Iona in the kitchen at work on dinner. He made it a point to close the door hard enough that she could easily hear it. Forty years ago, the town was largely free of crime and thriving with successful businesses. Now, the population had dropped by half and crime had become the norm, so Jonathan thought it necessary to let her know when he arrived from work.

“Hey, hon,” he shouted.

He also thought it was important for her to hear his voice, as he saw the need for her to know that it was not some stranger walking through the door. It didn’t take long for her to answer. “Hey,” she began. “How was work?” Throwing his jacket over a chair, he made his way to the kitchen and, reaching around from the back, put his arms around her. Iona responded by turning around and facing him, kissed him warmly on the lips.

“So,” she continued. “Anything weird happen at work?”

She was always curious about his job and sometimes asked about odd events he may have experienced. Using his judgment, Jonathan made it a point never to tell her about the hard cases – those clients who came in mangled. When he worked on the young victim of the midair collision a few weeks ago, he refrained from telling her about it. Instead, he decided that seeing it on the news was probably enough. But today was different. Today he had a rather comical story to tell.

“Well,” he began. “Today was Emily’s first week of work. We were working on a gentleman who came in from the nursing home out on the edge of town, and as part of preparation, we had to embalm him. Well, everything was going as usual when a blood clot formed somewhere near his pelvic floor.” Iona didn’t understand much about the human anatomy, but she did understand the terminology Jonathan was using.

“So, anyway,” he continued. “Emily didn’t see this until I brought it to her attention. The clot lodged in the right blood vessel, and the body got a boner. I mean, with the fluid being pumped in under pressure, this thing was huge.”

Iona had already begun giggling.

“It wasn’t like Emily couldn’t handle it. I mean, it didn’t gross her out or anything. She just starting laughing and had to step out for a while. I think she went into the basement. It was hysterical.” By this time, Iona had retreated to a chair, having lost the ability to stand. Her laughter left her short of breath, but eventually she recovered. Too weak to stand and still giggling, she spent a considerable amount of time sitting while Jonathan tended to dinner. By the time dinner was ready, Iona had recovered completely and was intently trying to block the image of a large deceased erection from her mind. It wasn’t working, and her face continued to flush with the thought of a young woman running from the room after witnessing something so unexpected. “Didn’t she know this could happen?” she asked. During Emily’s education, this event was covered as nothing more than a passing detail and was soon forgotten by many students, except her. She knew it could happen, but she also knew it was rare. “Yeah,” Jonathan replied. “She just wasn’t expecting it.”

By this time, Iona was sitting on the floor with her back against a cupboard door. Tears ran down her face while nearly breathless with laughter as she tried to imagine how the scene must have played out.

A few minutes passed as Iona began to recover, but Jonathan decided this would be the perfect time to inform her of their impending dinner appointment. “Oh, by the way,” he said. “Emily’s coming over for dinner.”

This triggered Iona into a relapse of hysterical laughter, knowing she would have to face the woman whose recent unexpected encounter left her in a similar state.

“Oh my God,” she said. “When?” A date was never discussed, and Iona clearly saw herself giggling at Emily’s expense while attempting to eat.

“We never got that far,” Jonathan replied. “Did you want me to set this up sooner or later?” Jonathan was clearly teasing her, knowing that she would likely be unable to contain herself in Emily’s presence. Not wanting her to be embarrassed, they agreed that the invitation should be extended for the following weekend, allowing plenty of time for Iona’s hysteria to dissipate. Hopefully, it would.