Digger - The Doctor Will See You Now by Clifford Beck - HTML preview

Chapter 21

After the forty-five-minute drive, Ryan entered the outskirts of Portland. The evening had arrived, and the city lights began to come to life as Ryan approached the city. Several eagles had recently been spotted in the area, perching in the trees and gliding over traffic. Ryan thought that maybe he might have time over the next couple of months to return and be lucky enough to see one. But as obsessed as he was with his ‘project’, returning for a bit of bird-watching was unlikely. This was quickly put aside as Ryan neared the downtown district of Portland. Saturday nights brought many people out of the stress of their jobs and the monotony of their lives. And for a few hours, they could forget about life, replacing it with the company of friends as well as a certain amount of alcohol.

Ryan had lived in Portland all his life and knew the club’s most frequented were on both Wharf and Fore Streets. But it didn’t matter which street he went to. At this point, one party spot was as good as any other, and after pulling into the parking garage Near Congress Street, he walked down to Fore Street. He wasn’t going to any club in particular. He was just following the crowd. And there were women everywhere. They traveled in small groups with boyfriends and coworkers. They wore jeans tight enough that they could have been painted on their bodies. Revealing clothing seemed to be the norm, with low-cut tops and push-up bras. This led Ryan to think there might be more to this excursion than a little socializing, but only if he met someone who was especially willing.

It didn’t matter what the name of the club was. Ryan didn’t see himself returning, so he saw no point in remembering it. Walking in, he was surprised at the number of people in attendance, standing almost shoulder to shoulder. It wasn’t as though he expected anything different. However, the sight of so many people crowded into one place did catch him off guard. Finding a place near the bar, he ordered a beer. He wasn’t much of a drinker and tended to stay away from wine and liquor as well. When studying medicine, there was simply no time for drinking. One had to keep one’s head on straight.

He began studying people -- how they spoke, how they moved, their expressions. Very often, how someone speaks says far more than what they say, and some people speak with their entire bodies – gesturing, shifting their weight. There are so many ways people reveal themselves, and Ryan found a great deal of entertainment in reading their behavior. As he scanned the people sitting at the bar, a young woman caught his eye. In actuality, she had been watching him from the moment he entered the club, and making eye contact, Ryan gave her a casual smile. She returned his gesture with a pleasant smile and a flirtatious wave. He considered approaching her, but a friend from undergraduate school once told him that the best way to attract a woman was to be unavailable -- let them approach you. Ordinarily, in an atmosphere like this, women almost always had to put up with being approached by men whose only agenda was sex, and most found it irritating. They may not be looking for a relationship, but they still wanted to be appreciated for something more than just a semen receptacle.

She walked through the crowd and appeared at Ryan’s side, holding a half-consumed bottle of beer. She introduced herself as Theresa and offered a handshake. Ryan responded in kind.

“I’m Ryan!” he said.

Between the music and the people, they had to yell to be heard.

“Nice to meet you!” Theresa replied. She was a bit on the short side and slightly overweight, with shoulder-length brown hair. The bridge of her nose bore the marks of glasses, leading Ryan to assume that she wore contact lenses on the weekends. Her style of dress seemed typical, given the circumstances and Ryan immediately noticed how much of her breasts were exposed. His eyes quickly scanned her from head to toe and found it humorous that even though her clothes fit like a slightly shrunken glove, they seemed ridiculously inappropriate for her body type. In an attempt to appear as attractive as possible, she had successfully made herself appear somewhat clownish. The makeup she wore only served to complete the picture.

“So, Ryan,” she began. “What do you do?” Ryan’s answer was not so much based in fact but the truth as he believed it.

“I’m getting ready for medical school,” he answered. “Oh, you’re going to be a doctor, huh?” she asked. “So, you live around here?”

Ryan sensed that Theresa was developing an interest in him and decided to answer a few of her questions with vague generalities. He wanted to play the game, and he was confident that he would win.

“Yeah,” he began. “Up at Sebago.” Theresa’s eyes got a little bigger as she put the pieces together -- a future doctor living on the lake in Sebago. She started to think that if she could get a tight enough grip on him, her own future would be one of leisure with many days spent under the sun.

They continued to engage in small talk as Ryan read her responses. Theresa’s thoughts and feelings became transparent as her face flushed. Her skin broke out into a sheen of sweat and her eyes -- the keys to the castle of cognition and emotional awareness. Ryan didn’t have to get too close to see them react, as they dilated every time he spoke. Sensing the heat beaming from her face, Theresa excused herself, but only for a few minutes. “Um, I’ll be right back,” she said. “Don’t go anywhere.” Walking quickly to the ladies' room, she glanced back towards Ryan. One last look before disappearing into the crowd and as their eyes met for that one split-second, Ryan gave her a well-timed smile and an intentionally timid wave.

Theresa returned with as much exuberance as she had when first approaching him. But now, it was Ryan’s turn for questions.

“So, what do you do?” he asked.

She flipped her hair back, displaying a hint of attitude. “Well,” she began. “I’ve been a CNA at Maine Med for a few months, but I don’t think it suits me.” There was the attitude again.

“So, I’m trying to get into UNE.”

“Oh,” Ryan responded. “That’s a good school. A little expensive, but for health care, that’s the place to be.”

“Is that where you’re going?” Theresa asked. Ryan continued nursing his beer.

“Actually, I’ve already been accepted.” He wasn’t comfortable with an outright lie. But a half-truth was acceptable, as long as there was something to be gained. In this case, sex. Theresa’s eyes widened as her mouth dropped open slightly.

“So, you’re on your way,” she said excitedly. Drinking down the last of his beer, Ryan looked at his watch as though he had someplace to go. “Yeah, I guess I am,” he replied.

Having bought into the performance, Theresa took a small step towards him and put an arm on the rail of the bar, allowing her breasts to stand out. She had taken the bait, as Ryan knew she would. Her attitude came with a certain degree of selfishness, and it was this that led Theresa to see what she wanted to see, believe what she wanted to believe. And her beliefs led her down the road of illusion, where she saw herself as a well-kept woman -- living without the necessity of work.

“Is there someplace you have to go?” she asked. “Because I have all night.”

Her body language, like her tone, was seductive. But as young as she was, Theresa had not yet learned how to play the game, and it was her lack of skill that made her intentions obvious. Approaching his side, Theresa put a hand on the side of his face, pulled him in, and kissed him with her open mouth. The trap had been sprung, and his quarry ensnared. He looked into her eyes, still playing the game.

“Is there someplace you’d like to go?” Ryan asked. They were both thinking the same thing. “Well, my roommate’s out of town,” she answered. Ryan gave her another kind smile. Not that he was in love, but he did have needs, and he knew that young women like Theresa did not fall in love but were in love with love. In other words, they were highly permissive. When the party was over, they would become defensive and blame the man for pursuing them purely for sex. Sure, it’s not exactly fair, but it was a very effective method of denial.

Theresa had other issues as well. She held a deep need for control and frequently took aim at men, drawing them in with a well-practiced smile and a fluttering of her eyes she would choose her target -- the sensitive one, the man whose emotions could be easily manipulated. Around those who knew her, Theresa seemed to constantly curse about ‘those goddamn men’. But at the same time, she had a new boyfriend almost every weekend and when they began developing feelings for her, Theresa was quick to let them go, often in the most painful manner she could think of. She once bragged to a group of women how she broke off with a man while they were still in bed. She had made love with him and as they lay in each other’s arms she saw a moment of vulnerability. Looking up into his eyes, she took pleasure in exploiting both the situation and his feelings. It was as though she made a personal mission out of wounding people. She stole boyfriends away from other women, destroyed relationships and slept with married men. Over time, Theresa developed a reputation as someone to stay clear of. The people she thought were her friends – especially women – talked about her behind her back, using words bordering on the obscene. No one liked her, but in her presence they smiled and spoke as longtime friends. This seemed to be necessary in order to avoid becoming a target of her abusive nature.

But Ryan knew better. He’d met women like Theresa before, and he’d been hurt. This time, he would turn the tables. He would play the fool and watch as she tried her best to be romantic. She would do her best to draw him in, to exploit feelings he did not possess, nor ever would. Theresa seemed to be too caught up in her own ego to realize how transparent she really was, and Ryan would never let his guard down. They both wanted the same thing, but it was Theresa who carried the role of the user.

As Theresa drove out of Portland’s old port district, Ryan followed. She led him to the Rosemont area near a small church. Stopping in front of a two-story white house, Theresa pulled into the driveway. They met near the front steps as Theresa grabbed him around the waist and, again, kissed him hard on the mouth. She firmly grasped his hand and pulled him up the steps, through the front door and up a flight of stairs.

“This is a nice neighborhood,” he said innocently. His naïve politeness was part of the show. Where people like Theresa are concerned, it’s always the kind ones who are at the most risk—those who wear their hearts on their sleeves and are easily hurt. Throwing open the door, Theresa pulled him into her apartment, slamming it shut and locking it. She had ignored Ryan’s comment and, without turning on the lights, backed him against the wall with her body, kissing him deeply as Theresa unbuttoned Ryan’s shirt with such vigor that it began to tear. Ryan reciprocated by pulling her top up over her head. He threw it to the side and quickly proceeded to unfasten her bra. As it fell to the floor, Ryan dropped to his knees and buried his face between Theresa’s breasts. Her nipples swelled with deep arousal as Ryan frantically ran his tongue over them. He got to his feet as they continued kissing each other’s mouths, rubbing their tongues together.

Theresa grabbed him by the hand and pulled him down the hallway toward her room.

“Come to bed with me,” she said in a passionate whisper. Even in the darkness of the unlit apartment, Ryan noticed how her breasts moved with her hurried body and throwing the door open, she pulled Ryan on the bed and tumbled down onto him. Her hands fishing around in the dark, she unbuckled his belt and exposed him. Ryan kicked off his shoes as Theresa continued disrobing him from the waist down. They continued disrobing each other as their breath quickened with excitement. Lying on the bed, they faced each other, kissing and touching. Theresa grabbed his hand and moved his fingertips to the place that excited her the most. Ryan moved his legs apart by mere inches and guided Theresa’s hand down.

“Just the fingertips,” he whispered in anticipation. Fulfilling his request, Theresa’s soft touch drove Ryan to an ecstatic state of sexual bliss. His body was now prepared to satisfy her needs, as well as his own.

Ryan began massaging her breasts as he rolled over, pinning her to the bed with his body. They looked into each other’s eyes, not with affection but a deep raw need for passionate release. Theresa was more than willing to open her legs as Ryan hooked his arms around her knees. Pushing them up towards her shoulders, Theresa reached down to guide him into her.

“Fuck, you’re huge,” she whispered. He grinned at her teasingly and pushed himself into her warm, sweating body. Theresa threw her head back as she gasped with an open mouth.

“Fuck!”

Her utterance of that one word was quiet, yet intense. She’d begged Ryan to push more forcefully and soon began screaming with each thrusting impact against her body. Theresa achieved her release within minutes, but Ryan was not finished with her just yet, as he guided her body into several different positions. Her hands clutched the bedsheets as she tightened her fists during her final release. Repositioning himself slightly, Ryan’s face flushed a deep red as he reached his own sexual ecstasy.

Withdrawing himself from her exhausted body, Ryan collapsed onto his back, leaving Theresa breathing like a lioness, panting in the Serengeti heat. But Ryan and Theresa had created their own heat, even if it was purely recreational. Normally, the experience they shared establishes an emotional bond. However, no such connection was present between them. They had each gotten what they wanted — there had been no give-and-take. Each of them has simply taken from the other and when Theresa recovered her senses, she turned to Ryan and told him to leave. He expected her to make her best attempt to wound him and was not surprised at the demand she made.

“Excuse me?” he said, still playing naïve. Theresa pulled the covers up over her breasts, as though denying him the pleasure of seeing them. “Well, it was nice and all that,” she replied. “But you can leave now.”

The first word that leaped into Ryan’s mind was ‘bitch’. But before he left, he asked one more innocent question in order to further gauge her personality and attitude.

“Do you want to get together again sometime?” Theresa took a deep breath and sighed in frustration. “I don’t know. Maybe. I guess we’ll have to see,” she answered.

Ryan was not surprised by her answer, but he was still angered. He saw her as calloused and selfish. She seemed obsessed with being hurtful — going out of her way to step on people’s emotions, regardless of who they were. “Well, okay,” Ryan replied.

He dressed quickly as Theresa turned on her side, grinning with satisfaction. In her mind, she relished in what she believed was another emotional conquest—another man torn down, his soul pulled out, using sex and intimacy as her weapons of choice. But Ryan was not hurt and had not been wounded in the least.

Ryan walked out of her apartment and down to his car. From the corner of his eye, he saw the lights of her apartment come to life, and as he drove away, he saw her shadow in his rearview mirror. She was standing at the window, watching. Ryan surmised that Theresa was hoping to see some indication of a fragile emotional state, but Ryan would not let himself be affected, and he wasn’t playing the game — not the way he wanted. Now, his intention was to put Theresa in her place, to tear her down and show her what it felt like to be played.