Common Cognitive Distortions (Thinking Errors)

Thinking errors, commonly known as cognitive distortions, are irrational beliefs that contribute to uncomfortable emotions and unwanted behaviour.

Everyone uses them from time to time. When they become more frequent, they can affect your mood and relationships. When we are aware of these, it means we can recognise them for what they are, which can help to change our thinking and emotions.

Fixing cognitive distortions and negative thinking requires some effort, but it is possible, and you can do it. By addressing these thoughts, you can change how you feel and, in turn, influence your behave. By working on this manner of thinking, you are less likely to drink or relapse. Errors in thinking are one of the main reasons people relapse in alcohol recovery.

As you reduce negative thinking, you may notice your mood improves in many aspects. And over time, your entire disposition, thoughts, and feelings about yourself will change positively. People who think and feel positively are less likely to use alcohol to change how they feel.

Below are some very common thinking errors and patterns that aren’t entirely based on facts.

1: Ignoring the Good

You pay more attention to bad things and ignore the good when it happens.

Examples:

• You get one answer wrong on a long test, and all you can think about is the mistake.

• You score two goals in your game, but all you can think about is the shot you missed.

2: Blowing Things Up

Making a really big deal out of something small or making something a little bit bad seem like the worst thing ever.

Examples:

• You get a stain on your new shoes, and you think they’re ruined and can’t be worn anymore.

• “I’m not allowed to see my friends on Friday. My life is horrible!”

3: Fortune Telling

Thinking you know what will happen in the future, and that it will be bad.

Examples:

• “I know if I ask her to the dance she’s going to say no.”

• “I bet no one will come to my birthday party.”

4: Mind Reading

Believing you know what someone else is thinking, or why they are doing something, without having enough information.

Examples:

• “People are looking at me. They probably think my shirt is ugly.”

• “Emma didn’t invite me to her party. I bet she thinks I’m weird.”

5: Negative Labelling

Having a negative belief about yourself and thinking it applies to everything you do.

Examples:

• “I’m a loser so my artwork stinks.”

• “I’m so stupid. Everything I say is dumb.”

6: Setting the Bar Too High

Thinking that you must be perfect in everything you do, otherwise you’re no good.

Examples:

• “If I don’t get an A on every test, I’m not smart.”

• “I have to win every tennis match I play, otherwise I’m worthless.”

7: Self-blaming

Blaming yourself for anything that goes wrong around you, even if you had nothing to do with it.

Examples:

• When your basketball team loses a game, you think it’s entirely your fault.

• “Alicia is sad today. I probably did something to upset her.”

8: Feelings as Facts.

Believing that if you feel something, it must be true.

Examples:

• “I feel ugly, so I must be ugly.”

• “I feel like I’m a bad friend, so I must be a bad friend.”

9: Should, Musts and Ought To Statements

Believing things have to be a certain way.

Examples:

• “People should always be nice to me.”

• “I ought be happy. I should never be sad.”

• “I must get this right. I must never be wrong.”

Overcoming Thinking Errors

Identify Your Thoughts

It may be a good idea to see which type of negative thought you often fall into. Metacognition is key here. This means thinking about your thoughts.

1: Create A Log or Journal

Creating a daily mood and thought log/journal could help you with this. Consider writing down the most prominent thoughts you have throughout the day. When you do, don’t expand on the thought. Instead, try to write it down exactly how it popped into your head.

Try to link the thought to a place or situation.

Answer these questions:

• When and where did you have the negative thought for the first time?
• How many times did you think about it after that?
• Do you tend to have comparable thoughts in similar situations?

Once you have the thought and the situation, identify the emotion it causes you.

After a while, or by the end of each week, try to group these thoughts by theme. So all thoughts about “always” or “never” go together. For example, “I always miss important meetings,” “I never say smart things,” or “Nobody appreciates me.”

This exercise will help you identify which thoughts repeat and which cause you greater distress.

2: Changing roles

How would you react to someone saying these negative things to a person you love? For example, if your neighbour came to your best friend and said, “Your partner doesn’t love you,” or “You always embarrass yourself in front of your boss,” what would your response be?

Changing roles in your head may help you identify aspects of the same situation you might be overlooking. It can help you stop negative thoughts and replace them with more realistic and optimistic ones.

For instance, you may feel inclined to find arguments to the contrary like: “They show you love. They called you twice today to check up on you and also stopped by to bring dinner home after working for more than 8 hours.”

3: Examine the evidence

Negative thought patterns aren’t typically based on facts. Similar to changing roles, examining the evidence involves looking for cues in the situation that contradict your negative thoughts.

If you notice some of your thoughts are about criticising or belittling yourself, for example, turn to the evidence. List all the ways you’re productive, successful, efficient, loving or supportive.

If you’ve been thinking about what you said this morning during a meeting that may have felt inaccurate, turn to all the times you’ve said something interesting and how much you’ve contributed to your team.

You may even focus on the reaction everyone had during the meeting. Did they really pay that much negative attention to your comment? It may also be a good idea to separate facts from opinions. Thinking “I’m so silly” is an opinion. “I didn’t submit the report on time” is a fact.

Cognitive distortions are usually based on opinions that aren’t related to the evidence.

4: Sum of its parts

As you identify these negative thought patterns, you’ll notice that they often come with labels. “You’re a failure,” “They’re losers,” or “I’m so boring” are examples. These labels don’t apply to the person as a whole. Someone may lose a job, not pass a test, or feel like skipping a party at times. That doesn’t mean this is always the case.

5: Avoid the urge to generalise

Cognitive distortions like overgeneralisation or black-or-white thinking may lead you to take one negative incident and apply it to everything and everyone.

For example, saying something that’s not accurate doesn’t mean everything you say is inaccurate.

If you learn to identify the difference, you can reframe any situation in your mind. The “opposite threes” technique may help.

Opposite threes:

Every time you find yourself generalising, think of three opposites to the situation. For example, when you think “I never do anything right,” consider turning your attention to mentally identify three scenarios where you’ve been accurate, efficient, or successful.

6: Skip speculation

We’re almost certain we can’t read minds. But, in many circumstances, you may act or think like you do. Because of this, it can be a good idea to do a “reality check” before you jump to conclusions. This can start by you asking others about the matter.

For example, instead of assuming your partner is losing interest in you, you could actually ask them if this is so. If you prefer to be less direct, you could ask questions about how they feel, how their day’s going, or if they’re well.

When you do this, it’s highly probable you’ll find evidence to the contrary of your cognitive distortion. Of course, a critical aspect of this exercise is to believe what people tell you. You may also survey other people about situations.

For instance, if you’re feeling your partner’s losing interest in you because you’ve had some fights this week, you could ask your partnered friends about their take. It’s possible that once you confirm other couples also have fights, your thinking pattern starts losing ground.

In other words, exploring other people’s experiences and opinions may help you identify those negative thinking patterns that aren’t based on facts.

7: Replace Shoulds, Musts and Ought To’s

A common cognitive distortion that leads to negative thinking is “shoulds”, “must”, and “Ought to” — “I must go to the gym every day,” or “They should talk more often during work meetings.”

These act as ironclad rules that may automatically set you and others up for failure. Consider replacing “I should/must/ought to” thoughts with “I’d like to…” or “It’d be nice if…” This may alter your perspective and take the pressure off, improving your mood and outlook.

8: Cost-benefit analysis

A cost-benefit analysis typically involves estimating the benefits of a decision against the costs associated with it. In this instance, you’d take the thoughts you’ve identified and think about what pros and cons they offer you. Ask yourself: “How does this thought help me and what harm is it causing?”

If you find that some of these thoughts do you more harm, it might become easier for you to combat them. You could also find out that you use some of these thinking patterns because they represent some benefit to you.

A Final Perspective on Thinking Errors

Thinking errors or cognitive distortions are not flaws in your character. They are stress-based brain shortcuts.

When someone has lived with anxiety, pressure or long-term drinking, the brain becomes threat-sensitive. It jumps to conclusions. It catastrophises. It looks for fast relief. Alcohol often quietened that noise. When you remove it, the thinking can feel louder for a while.

That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It often means your system is recalibrating. Distorted thoughts strengthen through repetition. But so do balanced ones. And the fastest way to weaken distorted thinking isn’t endless debate — it’s behaviour.

You are rewiring the brain when you:

• don’t drink after an “I can’t cope” thought
• act after a “what’s the point” thought
• ask for help after an “I must handle this alone” thought

From a behavioural change point of view:

1. Behaviour changes.
2. Emotions begin to shift.
3. Thinking begins to change.

You don’t need perfect thoughts to stay sober. You need distance from them, structure around them and repetition of steadier actions.

The brain follows what you practice.