Compassion by Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad - HTML preview

When my beloved wife passed away I was tired of listening to the messages from well-meaning friends and family folks telling me that it was time I got over being heart-broken. I then thought that when somebody tells you that then they have not themselves faced a situation as tragic as yours.

I forgave them because I knew that some people do not know grief from garlic grits and there are certain things in life that the body and mind aren’t meant to forget and get over with. I was not wallowing in sorrow or letting it drag on but I was finding and feeling that the thoughts of my wife not being with me anymore were hurting and they were never going away.

Many times people who sympathize with you find it difficult to empathize with your situation properly and with adequate understanding. The death of my beloved wife was difficult to bear because it was like a huge pile of rocks dumped on my chest and every day I had to try to remove them but they kept coming up again and again in sharper, uglier and heavier form.

I gradually learnt to live with them the best way I could and it is now over three and a half years and yet I am trying to remove those rocks one by one and maybe one day I would be able to build a wall. Until then I feel my best way to deal with my loss is to live with the multiple fond and worthy memories of my beloved wife. This is what my heart tells me and my mind accepts it.

When my Pretty Lotus was at my side, she was also in front and at my back, marking out the horizon of my life and guiding me in all directions. Now my horizon is empty and I see just the darker images in the distance. The views of my luxury life with her have changed completely and I feel good when I am living with all her memories.

My belief on this subject is very simple. If my love has been stolen from me, then the best way to have that love and affection live on is to never stop loving and being with her. That is exactly what I am doing through my poetic creations and visual presentations. This is my privilege and not any sin.

My bereavement has become a darkness that is clearly impenetrable to the imagination of all those who are not bereaved in the same way as I have been. 

When my wife passed away she became my valuable memory which is my most precious treasure to go on living. Passing away of my beloved life partner wasn’t a movie where the pretty star faded away with a touch of pale makeup and a good hair do in a coffin box but it was a departure of a loving being that enriched my entire life for over half a century. I begged God Almighty to spare her soul for me and that is my life and living.

I know that many people are built to move on. When someone close to them dies, no matter how close they were with them, they move on. They say that this helps them in a lot of ways. That is not me for I am a different individual following a different code of love and affection for my beloved wife.

I know one day I will find the strength and the needed resolve to allow deeper sense of healing to begin working for me and that will be the day when I join My Pretty Lotus in Heaven. Until then I have found a variety of ways to live with my wife at this Sarojville home that I have named as Saroj Niwas.

My Angel has become the power of my compassion and all the above creations are the stories that open my heart, seal my soul and mend my world.