28-04-2017: Raising a Child

It may not necessarily seem like it judging by some of my earlier ramblings, but I love my family. They’re all good people on their own merits. Even if they don’t always display their best qualities.

I also love my godson. Almost as if he were my own son, in fact. In some respects, he does resemble me ever so slightly - and he’s taken a clear interest in some of the same things I did back in the day. He has some qualities I could easily see my own child having. If I ever have one to begin with.

Somehow I have a hard time seeing myself as a family man. Or at least I can’t imagine raising a child of my own. The burden would drain me more than an entire week spent locked into a room with a dozen extroverts. Even with the help of a spouse.

It’s no lie that raising a child is hard work. And for me, getting a girlfriend and making her my wife would be hard enough work, let alone conceiving and raising a descendant. I don’t even want to imagine the amounts of energy that would suck out of me. Having a wife I could manage, provided she’s kind and understanding enough. A child, though...

Does that mean I think I wouldn’t be a good father? No. I can see myself being a good parent, but I can’t see myself being a parent. I do realize that makes very little sense, if any at all. In all honesty, though, it’s the best way I can explain it.