06-01-2017: My Potential as a Lover

Somehow I’m really starting to hate writing about romantic relationships as much as I have thus far. And yet - as you could probably guess - here I am rambling about them once again.

Anyway, I’ve recently given a lot of thought to my own situation in regards to romance. To be more specific, I’ve pondered my own merits as a potential partner for someone. How much would I be able to give? How much would I be willing to give?

I mentioned earlier that there was a time when I sought a girlfriend almost to the point of desperation. What I didn’t realize back then - and would only come to realize years later - was that I sought a relationship merely for the sake of being in one. I didn’t want a relationship because I actually had feelings towards anyone, but rather so that I could say I had a significant other. Which I never did.

I do want to experience a romantic relationship at least once. But upon self-reflection, I’m not entirely sure it would be for me. There are only so many things I’m willing to sacrifice. Despite that, though, I want to have at least one romantic relationship, if only to find out whether it’s for me or not.

One thing I can say with confidence is that if I ever do get romantically involved with someone, I’ll devote myself entirely to them. That’s one of the few good things I can say about myself as far as romance goes.

Maybe I should just stop thinking about love altogether. That way, I’d at least spare myself a lot of unnecessary self-inflicted pain. But alas, it’s not so easy.