25-09-2017: Competitiveness

I like to think of myself as a fairly laid-back person. I don't get agitated very easily (unless I'm having technical difficulties with something), and I generally don't treat anything as a competition. However, that's not to say I can't get competitive if I want to, because I can.

For the most part, though, I manage to not get excessively competitive. Except when it comes to video games. I used to play some video games with a friend – or against him, to be more accurate. I could get competitive to the point where I had to win by any means necessary. But I was not a sore loser. I blamed nothing but myself for my own defeat.

Even today, when I've mostly transitioned to playing video games alone, I can still get competitive while playing them. This is going to be hard to explain in layman's terms, but if I'm playing something like a botmatch (as in a game against a computer-controlled opponent), I often find myself getting frustrated if things don't work out as I anticipate. Yes, I can get competitive against a fucking AI.

It is funny how my competitiveness is limited to video games. I'd never display the same level of effort if, for instance, a girl I have a crush on was being chased by another man. I simply lack the mental strength to deal with such obstacles.

On the topic of obstacles, I've been spending more money than I should lately. My financial situation right now is threateningly low thanks to an impulse purchase I made. And I even have a bigger purchase to save up for! Then again, I'm honestly not too good at managing my money anyway.

But practice makes perfect.