EXPECTANT PARENTS GIFT BASKET
Fill a baby's bath tub with:
hooded towel ~ wash cloth ~ rubber ducky ~ baby shampoo ~ baby powder ~
baby lotion ~ terry sleeper
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In order to assist you during this most difficult fortnight prior to the Big Event, and having experienced the grievous effects of this sort of *** in the past, I enclose the following aids:
1. One pound of $1,000 bills. When the wedding is through and the bills
arrive, you will need every last one! (Unfortunately, these were not real.)
2. Receipt book--There are 32 receipts in the book. I can assure you that these will not be enough, but it's a start. Good luck! 3. Aspirin. This may look like a big bottle, but no bottle could be big enough.
4. Post-its. Your wife and daughter will come up with so many ideas, suggestions, demands, orders, etc., that you'll use up this book of 100 post-its by tomorrow afternoon.
5. Kleenex. No, these aren't for the moment when you hand your daughter
over to the groom. They are to absorb your tears as the money flows out
the door.
6. Imodium AD--It's true--you aren't just losing a daughter. You are