Elevator Speak (March 2026)

Two strangers stand facing one another across a crowded elevator. Eyes meet.

The one listening to music tilts her head to the side and wrinkles her brow. The other, a head taller than everyone else, tilts his head to the opposite side and raises his eyebrows.

When the elevator stops at the 18^th floor, a mother and two young boys get in.

Tall Guy’s eyes go saucer-like. Earbuds mirrors the look and then smiles showing perfect teeth.

Just at that moment, the youngest boy glances up at Earbuds and mouths “Wow!”

He gets an elbow in the back.

Earbuds grants a benevolent smile.

Tall Guy winks.

The youngest fiddles with his windbreaker, humming along as he zips and unzips.

The older boy shoves him and stage whispers, "Told you not to do that."

The youngest pushes back. “What?”

“You know what?”

"Boys," the mother says.

Earbuds wrinkles her nose and raises an eyebrow. Tall Guy looks down and turns from head to head. He stops and points with his eyes at an old man with a walker. Earbuds half-nods and reaches for a Kleenex.

"Ach, God. I forgot my hearing aids. Stop at the next floor, please."

Earbuds presses 11. She holds her breath.

The elevator comes to a stop and the old man with the walker squeezes through and trundles out.

Tall Guy turns his face to the ceiling, sniffs and satisfied blinks twice to Earbuds. She inhales normally and returns a tentative smile.

The door closes, and with that, several deep breaths are taken but cut short.

"Bobby!"

"Wasn't me!"

"Boys, shh!"

Earbuds reaches for the Kleenex again. In sync, the tall guy scans his fellow travelers, this time without moving his head.

In the back of the elevator a well-dressed older woman with two large Louis Vuitton-monogrammed suitcases twitches her nose and coughs a couple of times. Next to her, a teenager puts his skateboard down and pulls his hoodie around to cover his face. A young girl with a white Miniature Poodle cradled in her arms, her face a bright red, exhales explosively—her peppermint breath somewhat refreshing—and then covers her face with her scarf sucking in air with such force that the dog yips.

Earbuds and Tall Guy raise their eyebrows in unison.

Finally, the elevator reaches the ground floor and the passengers make hasty exits.

Earbuds and Tall Guy, having politely made way for the others, are the last to leave.

Now alone, they can let down their guard. But as they pass through the door, Earbuds masks her face with the Kleenex she's been clutching nearly the whole way, while Tall Guy sniffs suspiciously as he checks the air quality in the lobby.

As if on cue, they point at one another and exclaim, "YOU!"