A Bedtime Story

 

"Woldemar—"

 

"Is he the same as Lord Voldemort, Daddy?"

 

"Who's that, honey?"

 

"You know the snake-faced man from Harry Potter?

 

"No, I think this must have been a different Woldemar from long before Harry Potter was born. Anyway, he was a dictator, and he was fat and bald and ugly, and every morning he drank a strawberry and banana milkshake."

 

"What's a dictator, Daddy?"

 

"A bad man who hurts lots of other people and takes away their freedoms."

 

"Is that like the guy in Russia?"

 

"Yes, honey, like the guy in Russia.

 

"But he's not fat—maybe short and ugly and bald, but he's the guy that rides around on horseback with no shirt on, isn't he? He doesn't look like someone who'd enjoy a strawberry-banana milkshake. He looks too mean."

 

"Yes, but let me get back to the story. It's getting late, and you need to go to sleep. Tomorrow is a big day."

 

"Anyway, there was this revolution, and Woldemar was forced to leave the castle."

"I thought kings lived in castles."

 

"They do, but Woldemar, he was, uh, sort of a king and a dictator and that's why he had a castle."

 

"Does the guy in Russia live in a castle?"

 

"No, not really, but then he isn't a king is he?"

 

"Oh."

 

"Anyway, the people wanted a new ruler and so they chased him out of the country. He and several of his men escaped by boarding a ship that sailed far away."

 

"And did the people chase after them?"

 

"No, they were just happy that he was gone."

 

"What happened to them?"

 

"Well, that's where the story gets interesting. He—"

 

"No. Not 'him', 'them—'"

 

"Ah, yes, well they found a new leader now, didn't they?"

 

"I don't know. Did they?"

 

"Yes dear. As a matter of fact they did."

 

"And did they like the new leader?"

 

"Uh, yes, I suppose so."

"That's good. Because it would be bad if they got rid of one bad guy and then got another bad guy who might even be worse."

 

"Yes, darling. You're exactly right. But you're making it really hard for Daddy to finish this story, and Daddy's tired, too."

 

"I'm sorry, Daddy, what happened to the ship and all the people on it?"

 

"Yes, now this is where the story gets interesting. They were shipwrecked on a small island far away from any people."

 

"How did the ship wreck? Was it a storm or something?"

 

"Yes, I think that's exactly what it was. A storm with very powerful winds and waves as tall as the ship. It forced the ship to run aground on dangerous rocks and the waves destroyed the wooden sailing ship and many men were lost."

 

"I guess Woldemar lived?"

 

"Yes, he did, but he was the only one who survived."

 

"So, he probably didn't get to have strawberry-banana milkshakes for breakfast anymore, right Daddy?"

 

"That's right, dear."

 

"And how long did he live on the island all by himself."

 

"Many years if I'm not mistaken."

 

"How do we know?"

 

"He kept a journal, kinda like the diary that you keep."

 

"Did he ever leave the island?"

 

"Yes, he did. He built a boat from the scraps of the ship that had crashed on the rocky shores, and he put it out to sea on a calm day, and he was rescued by a ship that was passing by."

 

"He was lucky, then. He kept surviving."

 

"Yes, he was, but not too lucky because it was a ship from the country he had run away from."

 

"And what did they do with him?"

 

"They put him in a brig on the ship and sailed home."

 

"What's a 'brig'?"

 

"A jail—a temporary jail that you find on ships where prisoners are kept until the ship returns to land."

 

"And did they execute him when he returned?"

 

"Well, there's a happy version and then there's the real version."

 

"You mean this really happened?"

 

"Yes, unfortunately it is based on a true story."

 

"Can I have the happy version, Daddy? I'm really worried about Mommy's surgery tomorrow and I don't think I'll sleep well with the other version."

"Of course, sweetie. And don't you worry about Mommy. She's got the best doctors in the city."

 

"Daddy, one last thing."

 

"Yes, what's that?"

 

"Can I have a strawberry-banana smoothie? Just a small one?"

 

"If you promise not to tell Mommy,... I'll make you a small one. Will that be alright?"

 

"Thank you, Daddy. And, can I eat it in bed?"

 

"Just this once, Princess."