Flash! Fiction 3 by Peter McMillan - HTML preview
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6
My 4th grade class decided that it wanted to go on a school field trip to see the Efficiency Ombudsman. Of course the range of op-tions they were given was limited, and the Efficiency Ombudsman was the lesser evil. In other words, it was the last option given the thumbs down.
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Our guide informs us that the Efficiency Ombudsman is the ultimate arbiter, or judge, in questions of efficiency, whether in the public or private sector. He is the efficiency expert par excellence and his technical credentials are unrivalled. He holds an MBA from Whar-ton, a law degree from Harvard, a medical degree from John Hopkins and an engineering degree from Cal Poly.
As part of our tour, we are allowed to read a sample of the emails that come across the ombudsman's desk. Unfortunately, we are bound to silence on the specifics, having been required to recite the ombudsman’s non-disclosure agreement “so help us God.”
However, I am permitted to say that the emails come from everywhere—people in manufacturing, distribution, transportation, public utilities, banks, credit unions, agriculture, government, schools, universities, hospitals, charities, churches, synagogues, mosques. It seems that everybody’s talking about efficiency, and they all seem to be converging on this one office. Most say they want more efficiency—greater output in goods/services with lower costs—and are petitioning the ombudsman to support them. However, there are a few who claim that efficiency, when pursued without regard to unin-tended consequences, can be harmful, and they petition the ombudsman to support them. Overall, the volume is extraordinary—somewhere in the tens of thousands, we are told.