“I've never liked it, never.” Kira picked some resin out of her hair and flicked it across the room. She picked up a chisel and chipped at some stubborn beads on her table.
“People who have money always say it doesn't matter.” Aldous despaired of Kira's altruistic tendencies. “You don't know what being poor is like.” He pursed his lips, only slightly contemptuously.
“Don't I? I don't think you quite understand, Aldous. Money is really just tiddlywinks. The love of money is an ugly thing. It's justifiable to have enough for whatever you're doing, but craving it, and certainly craving it above your obligations to other people - that's basically a major sin.”
“Sin? You are talking about it from a religious perspective? Since when are you religious?” Aldous despaired of Kira's more altruistic tendencies, which usually involved rather irritating practical help rather than actual money, since she usually didn't have very much due to the endless new projects she engaged in, funded by a mysterious process he could never identify.
“More from a moral perspective. I have seen a lot of moral ambiguity in my family. I don't like it. I love work, but money? Money makes people nasty. It clouds their judgement and makes them stupid. That is why I don't like money.” Kira looked away, resolute, and scratched her ear.
“Try telling Rupert Murdoch, or Bill Gates that. Billions.” Aldous sneered.
“They won the computer game. It's about as meaningful. It doesn't make them worthy. Worthiness is a different thing.”
“That's why you continue to obsess about Sam, despite all that money.” Aldous started to laugh. “Seriously, would you rather he had nothing?”
“Sam is welcome to his manias. They aren't necessarily mine. I like what he has done with his resources and ideas. I like how it's changed me. That is what is important. Money is a different thing. I thought you understood that? For the record, if he had happened to work in some random health food shop I would still have been a startlingly regular customer. I thought you understood that, too.” Kira was getting bored. “Look, do you want me to show you how meaningless money is?”
“How do you plan to do that?” Aldous looked annoyed.
“Well, you know how I tend to disappear for months at a time and then turn up and take you out etc? I usually rake in a pile of cash when I am not busy entertaining you. Why don't I show you how dull money is? Money isn't original, it has no new ideas and it doesn't improve you as a person. It's just a figure. It is time-consuming and useful only for other projects.”
“OK, show me.” Aldous looked confused.
“Give me a tenner.” Kira held out her grubby, paint-stained hand. Aldous produced the tenner.
“OK I will return it in six weeks, with the money I have made from it, just to show you how arbitrary and meaningless it is.” Kira yawned.
“OK.” Aldous took this as a sign to leave. He wondered what Kira would do with his tenner?
Six weeks later as promised, Kira telephoned Aldous. “If you want to meet up, I have something for you.” Aldous was intrigued.
They met up at a local cafe. Kira looked plump, as usual, and fresh-faced. Aldous sat down, ordered some coffee, and awaited her verdict. Kira produced a wad of notes and handed it to him.
“There you go. You can count it if you like.” Kira looked at Aldous, a quizzical expresson on her face as he counted it.
“Seriously? Eleven hundred quid?” Aldous was impressed. “How long did this take you?”
“About ten hours a week. I could have done it faster or slower. It really depends on how you think about it.”
“How did you do it?” Aldous was aghast.
“Well, you know how I have always told you that start-up capital is a random figure? I applied my resources, time and motivation to the issue of the most basic business transaction.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I could have bought a share in something and seen how it did, which would have taken no time and some limited knowledge, but I figured that was dull sport, so instead I used it alongside my existing resources.”
“Your existing resources being?”
“My skills, capital equipment and time. What I am trying to explain to you is that money is essentially useless without those.”
“What did you actually buy?” Aldous frowned
“Well in this case, I bought some printing paper, stamps and phone calls with it. That produced some back office work, which I did, and that made this money. I could equally have purchased some packets of chocolate bars and sold them for a profit, or created a recipe of some sort and found a way of making use of that. The point is that this eleven hundred pounds came from applying things other than money to a very small amount of it. It isn't rocket science, Aldous. The opportunity cost of sitting complaining that you haven't got enough money is actually making some.” Money is not the goal, it is a by product of networking and applying knowledge to a problem. It's just a score sheet for the purposes of easy barter.”
“Right, so what you are saying is that as far as you are concerned, the amount of it is meaningless, the effect on you as a person is meaningless, what matters is the associated things, like having the equipment in the first place and knowing how to use it? That is not the same as hating money.” Aldous was faintly annoyed at this circuitous way of looking at things.
“The opportunity cost of focusing too much on money itself, is in many cases, gaining knowledge or a quality of - I guess what I would call spirit - that I much prefer, is what I am saying. Not that money itself is at fault, but people who only care about it often fail to notice the important stuff, like how to make life better.” Kira's eyes widened. “Being comfortable is great, being obsessed is neither useful nor attractive. Look at my family. How did my parents manage to produce people so obsessed with money that they don't care about other people beyond trying to gain more than them? That is what makes money evil. Life is not about seeking some bullshit status that means you get to pretend you are more important than somebody else when you really aren't very interesting at all.”
“Right – I think I get it now. So you love Sam despite the money? You get more bonkers by the year.” Aldous chuckled as he sipped his coffee.
“Sam found a way of achieving self-expression and amassing high-score points at the same time, which is admirable. We share a lot of interests, which is rather lovely, and I would like him to be happy and not doubt anything. In the event we ever did get together, I would feel bad if I wasn't capable of avoiding his money, so that makes things more complicated at a practical level.” Kira sighed. “So I guess I had better make some money in the hope of distant happiness, whilst I indulge in some of my own self-expression. The money thing has made things a bit more complicated than they might normally be. You know what I'm like, Aldous.”
“Yup, I sure do. So, where is your first hundred million going to come from?” Aldous smiled indulgently. Kira was a lady, despite her shabby appearance. She did not like being trifled with.
“Well, I have a few ideas I'm working on. A little speculation for some more passive income, some development of the stuff I have already worked on, some work to cope with the day-to-day stuff, and I need to work on the material I need to distribute to as many people as I can get it to so they don't have to suffer so much. We live in an age of mutual contempt. I don't think it is good.” Kira looked sad. “I want to enable people to think differently and be free of all this spite.”
“You can't save them all, Kira.” Aldous looked at Kira, worried for her. He knew what she was taking on. Kira looked up, tearful.
“I can try to explain why their lives are being made worse, and when they know how to get out of it, maybe they will make things better. I don't want them to suffer like this.” She looked away again, sipping her mineral water, wiping a stray tear from her eye. “We need to help them cut through all this bullshit.
“Good luck, Kira.” Aldous gathered his cash and stood up, looking forward to telling the boys this improbable story. Kira was clearly an idiot. Why had she just handed him all this cash instead of keeping it? Crazy!