Intellectually I knew that all those practices
were highly beneficial, but I was lacking the
juices of life. And, of course, the periods of
total devotion to spirituality didn’t last long.
My practice was on and off. Every time I
started, I would approve of myself. Every time I
stopped, I would blame myself.
At that point, I was attending spiritual
gatherings of one enlightened teacher, and
most of his devotees were much more
disciplined than me. So, not only I separated
myself from my ordinary friends who weren’t
practitioners and, as I
assumed, couldn’t
understand my
priorities and pains, I
also felt like a black
sheep around these
well-organised
spiritual seekers. The
isolation was
growing, yet no
enlightenment was
coming my way.
Pic. 8 Half Lotus pose
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