The Electronic Commandos by D.A.Sanford - HTML preview

Back home

After they left, I sat with them and gave my appraisal of the mission.

“First and foremost, you all looked wonderful in there. If I did not know it was you, I would have soiled myself and would still be running. Good job. I will give the best performance to the wig guy. That bloody wig made me forget the those were just non people. Stand up and take a bow.” He does.

I ask him if he has a request.

“Women and a party.”

I call Time and ask him about mates for my guys. Sam figured that it would only be a matter of time, joke intended, that they would want company. Opening a door, his mate, Eva, comes out with women. Don’t these guys have any humility?

They each grab a mate and disappear into the bushes. They are not quiet. Eva tells me that those women want to stay here but they are also interested in my missions. So is she.

The three of us start towards the mansion. Miniature commando golf carts start popping out of the bushes. Now I had been warned about them but we laughed as we saw the females driving as the males were running behind them.

The imps were naked, As they drove, the women were standing and wiggling their bare ass. It was funny because the male was not showing any reasoning except they were letting a lower pointer guide them.

None of us could not even walk without having the carts appear and disappear with their men running behind. Within just a few steps, the buzz of the carts was replaced by the sounds of conquest.

Sam remarks that we won’t see them until they all smell the beer. He was right. After an hour or two, we sat out on the patio. As soon as the first beer can was popped and the hiss was heard, a bunch of naked but satisfied imps came on to the patio. I make no comment other than to say that they look relaxed.

I cook up some BBQ, man cooking. I was told that they liked soft serve. Time pops out then comes back with one that the gods of all had modified, taps at the imps level. I was told that it was a gift from the gods of all. A house warming since we had imps.

As he set it up, he warned me about their dead imp ice cream pile. He told them that the prank is now off limits at each residence. A waste of food is no prank. I tell them that we may incorporate something similar into our electronic warfare.

“How about we use ice cream in the next visit to the on line game? If I think about those newbie killers, maybe a surprise skunk attack from a ice cream pile of dead imps would make them stay in another game.”

That seemed to please them and they were figuring out more dead imp traps. Sam said something that hit home to them. “Commando carts with mounted machine guns. One drive and the other shoot.”

I think about it and come up with something that they will really like. “In the game, they do not allow guns but how about a three imp cart?”

They are all looking like I was crazy until I finished with my thought. “One to drive, one to pee into a tank which has a pump. That pump is operated by the third who is working a mounted squirt gun.”

How come all of the imps just fell backwards?

They all come over and want to hear more about this wonderful dream they had. I tell them that in the first game when we mentioned party, they just thought of beer and they had some. In the game you don’t really need to know the workings. “Just think of an arrow and reach back and there is one. Drink a beer, what happens?”

By George, I think they got it. So I finish.

“In the online game or in our mission, what will that do to egos? You can even drive by their evening camp and flavor everything. No wait, something better. Think how happy they will be if you drive through the camp and soak the inside of the tents.”

They are cheering wildly. Sam, and Eva are looking at me and smiling.

I invite them to stay but they both have things to do. Eva tells me that the women are staying. “Just know that they will very shortly, start having babies. When they start to become pregnant, I will come back and help set up a clinic for them. Don’t worry, they birth babies almost as easy as poop.”

“Before I accepted this job, I was very old and died. Before I died, I can tell you that sometimes poop is very hard to do.” I joke with her.

Over the next few days, I take all the imps into the online game. The different parties all came over and started admiring the beauties we brought with us. I did not know the men would get jealous. They all pulled out their versions of soakers and proceeded to drench those mid whistle.

All the female players went over to the women and joined in laughing at the soaked players. They whispered to the female imps something. Then all those women sprouted wings and flew away.

Before we came in, I did explain the tether. “In the game, you may think that you are miles away but in reality, we are very close, when it is time to leave, all of you leave. They understood actually better than their male counterparts.

When I was ready to leave, I gave a mental tug and all the women came back which was more than I could say for their men. “Could you please ask them to come back?”

I was given such a look. It was a way of telling me that I was a male too. One of them told me just to yank hard and go. In a second, bewildered males were sprawled on the ground and the women were laughing.

It must be said here, we males really need female supervision. Without it, yes we have fun but, in a simple example, we males do not separate the laundry. That is why you see some men walking with what looks like a dirty white t shirt. It’s been washed so many times with our greasy dirty pants. The white laundry lost its battle.

We sweep our floors once a year whether it needs it or not.

We males are oblivious so that look they gave me is appropriate. But we do have fun.