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The Crazy HelpDesk

The Crazy Helpdesk

and their brave users

or how to fall in love with a computer

@n IT novel

by Tannessen and the people of MOU XII

- 1 -

The Crazy HelpDesk

- 2 -

The Crazy HelpDesk

for my users ;-)

‘Licence Agreement’

 The writer of this manual has worked in many Helpdesks, has answered

calls from many thousands of users, had dozens of colleagues, has worked as

and with Email Administrators, Webmasters, Programmers, Teachers, Support

Staff. Hence any resemblance with existing persons is a pure and well meant

coincidence, as only kind things can be said about them. 

- 3 -

The Crazy HelpDesk

- 4 -

The Crazy HelpDesk

Summary

Summary........................................................................................................................5

Switch on...................................................................................................................... 10

Start .......................................................................................................................... .... 11

The %Environnement% ............................................................................................ 14

The House .................................................................................................................... 17

The day when chaos came ..........................................................................................20

The new Helpdesk .......................................................................................................22

Chaos installs ............................................................................................................... 29

 It’s lunchtime ...............................................................................................32

The visit of the Garden gnomes ................................................................................. 39

 Make a distribution list in Outlook .....................................................................43

The good Helpdesk......................................................................................................45

FAQs Windows............................................................................................................ 52

Menu Bars................................................................................................................ 53

Toolbars ................................................................................................................... 53

Taskbar ....................................................................................................................54

 “Must I now right-click or left-click or what-click?”........................................54

Zip files, pdf files, expand & collapse .....................................................................54

It’s raining trainees .....................................................................................................56

Active Directory ......................................................................................................56

Logon.......................................................................................................................59

Change password ..................................................................................................... 65

The Key and Super User.............................................................................................67

Network, LAN, router, hub, IP address, Gateway, TCP/IP .....................................71

Tools-Options-Preferences ......................................................................................73

Registry.................................................................................................................... 73

Where are my documents? ......................................................................................... 78

A dangerous command: Save and Save As.............................................................. 78

Files and Folders......................................................................................................81

Create a new folder .................................................................................................. 82

Servers ..................................................................................................................... 83

- 5 -

The Crazy HelpDesk

Shares.......................................................................................................................83

Permissions .............................................................................................................. 85

It’s lunchtime..................................................................................................85

The mystery of the E: drive .....................................................................................86

Map – because what is life without an E: drive ....................................................... 89

Where put my documents ........................................................................................90

The diabolic plan ......................................................................................................... 94

Sensitive Hardware ................................................................................................... 100

Blue screen of death............................................................................................... 103

Restart your computer............................................................................................ 104

Wrong Keyboard Driver ........................................................................................ 104

Printers stuck ......................................................................................................... 104

What’s a Driver...................................................................................................... 106

 It’s lunchtime...............................................................................................107

Network problems ................................................................................................. 111

IP-Address ............................................................................................................. 111

Sound not working................................................................................................. 113

Digital camera........................................................................................................ 114

USB-FlashDisk ...................................................................................................... 114

Icons and text too small ......................................................................................... 116

And all those cables ...............................................................................................117

Phantom users ........................................................................................................... 118

Permissions!........................................................................................................... 124

It’s lunchtime ..............................................................................................125

Show this folder as an Email address book ........................................................... 127

All work and no play................................................................................................. 131

It’s lunchtime ..............................................................................................140

A Computer romance ............................................................................................... 143

It’s lunchtime ..............................................................................................146

Logon not working ................................................................................................ 151

Wanted! The problem user ...................................................................................... 153

Black screen........................................................................................................... 154

 It’s lunchtime. ............................................................................................160

The Light.................................................................................................................... 164

Some VBScript code.............................................................................................. 166

- 6 -

The Crazy HelpDesk

Show this folder as an Email address book ........................................................... 168

Properties ............................................................................................................... 169

It’s lunchtime ..............................................................................................170

The World is watching.............................................................................................. 173

Intranet & Internet ................................................................................................. 173

JavaScript............................................................................................................... 178

I love only two things in life...................................................................................... 179

Magic is needed ......................................................................................................... 188

It’s lunchtime ..............................................................................................192

Grateful users ............................................................................................................ 194

Doctor Watson in jail ................................................................................................ 202

a Tab in a table.......................................................................................................207

Copy a good text format elsewhere ....................................................................... 207

Corrupted documents............................................................................................. 208

Check Spelling as you type.................................................................................... 212

It’s lunchtime ..............................................................................................212

The midnight fair ...................................................................................................... 216

A Midnight lunch........................................................................................216

Artificial Intelligence, Biometrics .........................................................................218

Incognito Mailboxes .............................................................................................. 220

Birthday databases.................................................................................................... 223

Install a delegate Access ........................................................................................ 224

Tracking Options ................................................................................................... 228

It’s lunchtime ..............................................................................................232

A Birthday database in MS Access........................................................................ 233

Create a table ......................................................................................................... 234

Create a Form ........................................................................................................ 235

Print a Report......................................................................................................... 236

Create a Select Query in Access ............................................................................ 237

Update Query......................................................................................................... 238

Relational databases............................................................................................... 238

Web princes ............................................................................................................... 241

Learn Internet in 5 minutes.................................................................................... 241

Find a topic, save a picture of it, send the page by Email, save the link, page not

found and HTTP 404 ............................................................................................. 241

- 7 -

The Crazy HelpDesk

It’s lunchtime................................................................................................246

Misty children............................................................................................................ 249

Minimum requirements for a PC ........................................................................... 253

Web crushes............................................................................................................... 260

It’s lunchtime ..............................................................................................266

@ Bracelet.................................................................................................................. 269

Instead of lunch ............................................................................................272

Search for files you can’t find................................................................................ 273

Poetic formulas .......................................................................................................... 276

Some mysterious formulas in Excel. ..................................................................... 279

Carnival......................................................................................................................286

 And some lunchtime....................................................................................295

Garden of Software ................................................................................................... 297

Digital Sender ........................................................................................................ 299

Acrobat PDF .......................................................................................................... 299

Optical Character Recognition............................................................................... 299

Image editors ......................................................................................................... 300

Audio editors ......................................................................................................... 301

Burn a CD .............................................................................................................. 302

Download sites....................................................................................................... 302

 It’s lunchtime .............................................................................................304

A Bowl of Milk........................................................................................................... 305

A tangible formula .................................................................................................... 309

It’s lunchtime ..............................................................................................311

Excel - Make a wish................................................................................................... 314

Second line in an Excel cell ................................................................................... 314

How to put an Excel table into Word..................................................................... 314

How to make a sheet fit on one page for printing..................................................315

Print the table titles on each page .......................................................................... 315

It’s lunchtime ..............................................................................................319

Make a pretty signature in Outlook ....................................................................... 319

Excel formulas. Date, String, If and more ............................................................. 321

Insert a Name for your end results......................................................................... 324

Lovely code ................................................................................................................ 325

Macros ................................................................................................................... 326

- 8 -

The Crazy HelpDesk

Loop....................................................................................................................... 328

If-then-else............................................................................................................. 329

It’s lunchtime - but only an appointment yet ..............................................330

It’s lunchtime - but nothing happens...........................................................333

WordArt................................................................................................................. 333

The secret room ..................................