Stalker

Hellie

Despite my affinity for stealth and muted color palettes (I own the same sweater in five different shades of gray), I have never been a stalker. I switch from a stealthy Pink Pather-esque prance to a more normal "I'm just a regular human being just like everyone else" type stroll, intentionally sighing through an invisible case of the Mondays as a hot dog vendor eyes me questionably.

It's Saturday, so I totes understand his confusion.

I head back to the church, expecting Barbara Ann and Zenith/Magellan to be waiting for me expectantly and with that slight air of fear that they'd never see me again. But no, they’re not here. And the church doors are locked, which I figure is rude because if this truly is God's house, why is he shutting me out now?

Well, I don't suppose I can blame him. I was just carelessly sauntering about for a random hot dog vendor. That has to be some sort of spiritual no-no.

I think about back tracking but can’t imagine walking back into my apartment and admitting to Pearl that I failed. That “living” just isn’t for me. So instead, I decide to take a saunter/stroll in the opposite direction of the apartment, past St. Jude’s and wander aimlessly until I either magically find Barbara Ann or am visually admonished by yet another hot dog vendor.

“Oh. You again. And so soon.” It’s a “truth is stranger than fiction” moment with me practically running into Barbara Ann who’s planted firmly on the sidewalk in front of me. I stumble awkwardly against her and then gain my composure in case Zenith/Magellan is around to judge me. But I suppose he’s primarily a church cat.

“What are you doing here?” she continues because I’m too dumbfounded to acknowledge her first remark.

“I always come here,” I say, vaguely nodding at whatever store stands at my left. I pray it has nothing to do with lingerie.

“Oh, really? Me too.” When I finally get brave enough to glance over my shoulder, I see we’re standing in front of a plant shop. Slightly better than lingerie, but also kind of terrible because I can never keep anything alive, which makes sense, considering I’m having a hard time at this whole “living” thing myself.

“Great. So, I suppose we should go in. To go see and purchase some plants,” I say stiffly. She nods like this is a business deal (very classy of her really, seeing that I’m technically stalking her, and she should probably run far, far away) and opens the door for me.

I go through and pretend none of this is weird in the slightest.