My journal for my kittens by D.A.Sanford - HTML preview

New ones come home

My sister and her two young ladies are having a ball buying all the things that will be needed for the babies when they come home. Her sons however are not as interested. All I get from them is that the kittens are not boys, just dumb girls. Yup, they are at that age. A human and a goblin, boys all go through that stage. I think to myself that they will be surprised one day when the hormones start. Until then, I ask their father if he would make a changing table.

I know that he has been showing the boys how to use the work shop I had at the farm. They were being shown just what they needed. Work with your hands only after you worked your mind. In an era where everyone wants to be a CEO, the trades are the ones that make the big money now.

Their father is a very smart man.

They have been to the goblin world many times. The boys run off to friends homes but the two young ladies want nothing other than cuddling their new cousins. That is the same with my sister.

My brother in law has friends here and will wander off to talk tales of what each are doing.

This time I see my mother in law looking sad. I knew why. She looked at me and said that it is time. “All are weaned and starting to want to wander. They need to go home. I don’t want to see them go.”

I know Catlin’s feelings but I also know what she needs. I ask her mother to show me what was coming with us. That was just to get her away from Catlin. “I know that she would like to be alone with the kittens but there are things that only a grandmother can do. Would you both come to live with us until she gets her feet under her?” She was looking for a reason and she hugged me. Then whispered, “Catlin chose well.” The time has come that I have been waiting on. Yes I came here every free moment I had but there are things that I have had to do. Things that are my world obligations but also, I needed to do for other worlds.

I was running myself ragged until the gods of all brought me to their realm. They told me that I have done a wonderful thing for the universe but now is the time to step away. “You need to be there for your children. Remember what your grandfather wrote. He would go to work and then come home. That was his routine until the children grew to adults. Do some journeys for yourself but remember that you need to come home each day.”

I took that to heart. Talking with the lawyer, I did not want to get involved with the toy store. That is my sister’s. He suggested that I get involved with some of the businesses I own. Visit them and let them go over what they do.

“Explain to each that you have been involved with others and now need to start routine visits. Just to see if they need anything.”

He said something that I knew is right. “Visit the farm equipment store. You should check up on them. It seems like the general manager wants to retire. There is someone internal he would like to have you see.”

I am back at the goblin world and everyone is ready. We thank all those who have helped Catlin. They all said that we need to bring them back as often as we can. It seems that Catlin talked to her mother. She told me that she asked her parents to come live with us for a while. The three kittens were now a hand full and she needed help. I never let on that I already asked and her mother never said anything. One thing that I could tell that made her glow but also a little jealous, they were already daddy’s little girls. Each time I came, they would not wait for me to pick them up. They would climb me until all were in my arms.

I hope they get their claws clipped soon. My legs look like I have some sort of infection. All those puncture marks.

We are now home. Catlin is already getting frustrated. Almost like it was planned. After a little hesitation on being in a new environment, Sara spots the tall drapes and now is climbing them. Her sisters are following her. Soon Catlin and her mother have to rescue them as they realize that they do not know how to get down. Trying not to laugh, I ask Catlin if this is home now. She shoots me such a look then that smile, that I always love, came back as she yells “yes it is.” My sisters crew are here and the boys make sure that their aunt knew that they built the changing table as she was using it. They did get the surprise when suddenly they held their noses and ran. I must admit that there is a part of me that wants to join them but the other ninety nine percent demands that I be there. Now something that I vowed to myself. We take a few golf carts and go across the road. There are always people there. No one knows when it started but now it is almost a pilgrimage to bring the newly weaned to introduce them to those asleep there. To tell them they will always be remembered.

It is a solemn thing and all, just visiting, part to let the new parents through. This time it is the couple that gave this land to those who rest.

As we approach the memorial wall with all their names on it. We go to the felid section. Catlin let her mother speak as the matriarch.

“In remembrance of you I wish to ask all of you to watch over these four. My three babies and my older kitten grandchild.” She is putting her hand on the head of my sisters adopted felid.

My sister does the same in front of the goblin listing. “Please bless my son with the insight on how to defend the ones that are oppressed. You will be proud because all four of my children give hope to children that have almost nothing.” Both mothers are misting up. It was good for all.

As a side note, there are always more humans here. The guides are of all races but the human attendants always greet first with a humble bow. Their instructions and their feelings never allow them to remotely say anything in the way of an apology. This world is being praised for their compassion.

Now that the kittens have become accustomed to their new home. They are now a pride. Of course Sara is the ring leader. They now have figured out how to get down. I do laugh when Catlin looks at her walls. I cannot resist but I am at the door when I say, “Well you did want the logs to show on the inside.” Then I run. We will have people in after they find other interests.

Leave it to my two nephews. Those “disinterested” boys, came one day and solved their aunts problem. There in the living room were three kittens in a tree. Each on their own limb. Those boys had made, from real branches, an artificial tree that really looks like it actually was one.

The tallest branch needed a step stool for her mother to reach Sara.

Life outdoors

With all the pleasant turmoil, We did not notice but we were called out to the back yard. Jacob had made a large enclosed gazebo in his work shop and brought it here. Some of the crew helped assemble it.

I do not know if it was intentional or while the whirlwind of the three terrors zipping all over this home at sonic speed distracted us. Jacob and Vannessa startled us when they asked us to come outside.

There was a long enclosed walkway that connected to the gazebo. Seeing that, the three zoomed by us but were stopped in their tracks by an insidious trap. All three were on grass. Paws alternating trying to defeat gravity to get away from their captor. In a very short time, the unique feeling went away and they were now in the gazebo. They were going in individual directions when Catlin’s mother spots something and is excited but silently pointing to Karen.

We see the kitten standing on her now human legs. It looks like the rest of her body is trying to shift. The other two come over and a sniffing at the legs. Catlin and then Sara do the same but Sara, not to be outdone is now in a full human form. The biggest problem is that she doesn’t recognize herself and is now crying. The others follow suit. Catlin now picks up the three crying kittens. In her arms, she is softly talking to them telling them that it is okay.

Now calm, they change back into kittens. I come over and now her look went from sheer bliss to being perturbed as the three now put out their arms and say papa. They jump on me.

Now they are showing me what they can do. Changing from slightly to full human form. I hear Catlin’s mother laughing hysterically as she told the sulking Catlin that she did the same thing when she first shifted. “You jumped right into your father’s arms. They are daddy’s little girls.”

It was a delightful time because now they were experimenting. They found that two human legs cannot run as fast as four kitten legs but human hands can grab things. The breakables now are being put up higher.

I could not help but be proud when we saw three human toddlers on the shelf that the cookies were on that were now eating cookies. There were claw marks on the log walls. They are now comfortable with the changes.

My life is better than I could ever imagine. Travel the universe, helping people, doing what I can to make people see all as people. These are wonderful but they do not compare with my family.

I have to break myself away. I need to go to work. Today is the farm equipment store. This will turn out to be another good day.

They greet me as they greet everyone, with a smile and the feeling that you are the most important person in the world. I see other races here looking to get helpful things for their world.

That is another benefit of being that world that gave a respectful rest to those slaves. We are now that go to world for good product. All respect the fact that there is some things that they should not bring to their world. Things that would not fit in their environment.

When I am spotted, the general manager takes me around to each employee. They know that I will not tolerate just saying what they think I want to hear. They also know that I will just drop in unannounced. That way I do not see a pretty shop that at other times can only be described as an accident ready to happen. There are some things that I agree would make their job a lot easier but also, since they do repair all types of equipment, I feel that they really need some of the vintage tools. Those who made the tractor way back then, had the tools that fit. The manager has been authorized to search out them. If anything, to make a display in the show room. Now the general manager and I sit in his office. He tells me that he has been manager for thirty years now. His children have all moved away and now, he wants to travel with his wife and see this world before it is too late.

“I can see that you are tired. You have done a great job. Your people like working here. You must know that you have earned the right to treat your wife special. I was told that you have someone that you recommend to take over. I must ask before you introduce me to him, is he someone that you would follow? You must know that a true leader, like you are, is one that people will willingly follow. Not be forced to follow.” He smiles and tells me that there is not one person in here that he has not jumped in to help. I will say that everyone wants him to take over. They would still work here but it would not be the same if an outsider was brought here. “That tells me a lot. Let’s have him come in and introduce him to me.”

A quick call and the door opened. In walks someone that I really know. I put out my hand and we shake. This is the man who sold me his farm. He still is that humble, grateful man.

The manager knew that I knew him. He is smiling. We sit and catch up with what is happening. Just general talk. I can see that the both are wondering what is happening. I am deliberately waiting to say what I am going to say. Casually I say, “Why do both of you look nervous. I respect your decision. He’s got the job if he wants it. So how’s your family doing? I turned over the farm to my sister and she is making sure that it is still respecting the way your family used it. By the way, all that farm equipment you left is now on the goblin worlds. One thing, that tractor is now so fast that people must dive out of the way.”

I stop and just smile. “You heard right, the job is yours. My grandfather had his way on doing things but I now have made that job mine. The man you are replacing had his way of doing things. Look at what he did but improve where you feel it is needed. Make this job yours but always think of your people.

One caution, the people work for you. It is acceptable to be friendly but when it is a business decision, they need to know that they work for you. Be understanding, listen to them and if something they suggest is better acknowledge that. When it is safety, better way of doing things, let’s just say you are firm in you view, tactfully say that you are in charge. Those you must live with some grumbling. Those make sure that they see that it will make their life better. Now let the people know. I will be funding the retirement party. Make sure that you post that the store will be closed for that day. Family needs to be included. Entertainment for the children. One thing, it needs to be dry. We do not want anyone to die on the way home.”

With a few of those done, I tell my family that it is time. Ours need to return to the goblin world for them to see their other mothers. All those women that nursed the three little ones. The best thing about visiting is they actually can run wild but will be under constant supervision.

All the women of the entire villages are all the children’s mothers. Praising, scolding and consoling will be done by those who see it. The three will also have their two older cousins watching.

We open the door and the women pour out. They are amazed that they have grown. The funny thing is that you can see the three looking at those who nursed them and they went to each, held up their hands and said up.

It seems that they do remember. I think that a someone gave them that ability..

Now that the reunions are over, at least for the three. They are off but again under the close supervision until we hear the roar of the tractor. The two escorts grab the three while an army of women are after the driver.

“They just arrived and you already are trying to kill those precious babies. You take that death tractor somewhere else. If we even hear it in the distance, you need to remember we do have the ray pistols. We hear you and you will wake in the final life.” We men actually feel sorry for him. He did not know we were here. That man coasted the tractor until he was at the bottom of the slow hill he came up. The rest of the week we were there, there was no sign of any of their vehicles. It actually is sad. They do love the thrill.

There came a time during that week that her parents said that they should stay here. “Now that the kittens are shifting and no longer entirely dependent like new born, you should be able to take care of them.” Her mother said. I held my tongue but Catlin looks at me with eyes that contradicts what she told me when we were building our home. I just nod to her.

“Mom how would you like to live with us permanently? I have grown since I married Able. You and I have gotten along very well these past months. I think that your seven grandchildren would like you closer. I know you are only a door away but that is not the issue. You are needed at home. You need to start relating our history. Teaching the young ones our ways. I need you with me. All that time I ran away, it took Able to show me that I was not whole. With you and dad living in our home, we as a family are whole. Please stay.”

They both are stunned. Her mother is crying. “I want to stay with you. My grandchildren are on your world. A few miles is close but without a door, we never could see your family until you all get to the final life. I want to be with you. Able is this okay with you?” I smile and hug her. “Do you really have to ask?”

They go inside and they pack some of their most precious personal items. They are asking for the community to divide what is left and give the house to a new arrival. The children are gathered and all of us return to our home. Catlin is happy until Sara and her pride start running at light speed and knock over some items.

They are very young.

Siblings

I have been making short trips. I needed to help clean up the trash dump. There are more worlds that lack the resources to trade for things that cannot be bartered. Always on the lookout for items that will be an addition for both crews. The only problem is that I must make those short jumps. A few hours and then back to my house full of women, all ages. I do enjoy my welcome home. This time my sister is here. Her children are back at the farm with her husband. I get my welcome and then I am asked if we could go somewhere quiet. She wants to talk to both Catlin and me in private.

Grandma brought the three outside to the gazebo.

We sit in my office here.

“I have had calls from our siblings. They for the most part want to bury the hatchet but. Our sister wants the same thing you gave me. She demands that you buy her an equal size farm. Our brother just wants to talk directly to you. He will not say what but I do detect something slightly off. I do recommend that you meet with them but you really need to be cautious.”

Catlin tells me, “I know that you can handle yourself but I recommend that you have some protection. It may be necessary for you to ask either of the crews to stand by.” I am always thinking and I now know exactly what is needed and where. “Sis please tell them that I will meet with them and hear them out. Don’t worry about my safety. I have that covered.”

I give her the location and both are amazed at my boldness. It is the perfect place to sit down with them. I do tell them that they can blend in or stay here. We make a call to a certain pair of gods and fill them in.

Both of my siblings, I can tell are mad but they are here. I am sitting in the privillion that is across the street. There are people watching me intently. All who visit know of me and Catlin. All know that I usually do not sit in the privillion. I always walk the graves making sure that all are visited.

Now they see a man and a woman that obviously do not like all the eyes and ears. I greet them and make sure that they know that audio and video recording is strictly prohibited in this hallowed ground. “Your phones go into this holding box. I do not have mine.”

My brother is now angry, “Mister big making all sorts of demands already.” He tosses his phone in. My sister does the same but says nothing. I just lean back and ask “You are the ones that asked to talk even though the last time we were together, you both, flat out accused me of murder. I will listen to what you have to say.” Sister goes into what she said to our sister. “Where is the deed to the land I demanded? You forgave your sister and bought her that farm.”

I stop her right there, “What makes you so sure that I owe you anything?” I put down on the table the document they signed that I am divorced from them. My portion of our parents wealth was what you got. I know each of our portions were millions so you got all you deserved. Our sister was duped out of her portion by you my brother. You and this one set up a scheme and carried it out very well. You left two children to starve. That is the reason that she was mad at me and squatted on the farm. Just so you know, the reason that I know all this is because of my bosses. You have heard of them by now. So what do you both want? It is not polite talk.” I lean back because I am almost certain about what one of them is going to do. My brother starts to reach into his coat but I can see, in his eyes and in hers that they are still alive. They are aware but cannot move. The male god of all reaches in and pulls out a pistol. A forty five with a full ten round clip. The female god of all takes out my sisters backup phone along with a paper for me to sign while I was dying from the gun shots.

They sit down and now there is a very large crowd but Catlin and my sister sit down also.

Neither Catlin or my sister were instructed, by me, not to say anything. “let the gods of all speak.

The male god of all speaks, “I demand that all the world listen to what we have to say. You need to learn of what has transpired here on this hallowed ground. These two humans plotted and brought death here. The thousands of the ones resting call out in one voice.

HOW DARE YOU DISTURB OUR SLUMBER!”

The female now speaks. “These two were siblings of Able but they even cheated him of his parents wishes.” She looks them in the eyes and then they say in unison. “You do not rate oblivion. Watcher please take them both to the same burned up world. They are now immortal as others you have placed. The exception is that they are together. They will hunger and thirst but there is nothing to eat or drink. They will feel pain to the point that people would die but they won’t. Eventually they will come to the same conclusion that there really is only one thing to eat.” They both disappear with the Watcher.

“Let all know that Able’s other sister, the good one, came to her senses, truly asked for forgiveness and he did just that. She and her family now have more than money can buy, they have the satisfaction of helping others without expectation of being paid back. Those are the real riches. All need to pray for anyone that wants to invade this memorial. We are always watching.”

Later, I do ask them to have the two reborn with the memories of what they did and the repercussions of those actions. May they correct the errors of this life by helping in the next life. Maybe as one of the freed slaves. That way they truly know hardship and salvation.

They tell me that it has been done. They will be on one of the worlds you help and will recognize you. At that time we ask that you treat them well.” It was towards the end of my travels that two mouse folk come to me and I forgave them. But back to the present.

My sister is in tears. I hug her and tell her that it is not her fault. “As a matter of fact, you heard the praise the gods of all gave you. They, when they took you to talk with mom and dad, told me how you were swindled. I never told you or made fun of you. You had anger that needed to vent. You did what you had to for your family. Be proud.” Then I told her and Catlin what I asked the gods to do and that they told me that sometime in the future that two freed slaves will come up to me and I will forgive them. They will be reborn but with this life’s deeds and the penalty they suffered. She was delighted with that because, She knew why they were sent to the same world in the same location. “They would have to hunt each other for food.” The three of us now feel better. But I will remember that one was going to shoot me and the other was going to have me sign papers giving all to them.

The hide

The hide has been in use now for over a hundred years. Up grades have been made but basically it is the same. That Rambler is back in here. Catlin uses a new car. One of the four wheelers.

I sometimes sit in the chare all day with my feet up and drift in and out of sleep. It was one of those days that Cain came to me. His expression never changes along with the tone.

“Master Able, I have been in service to you and your grandfathers for almost seventy five years. Your grandfather had his mate that was an automaton like me. When she stopped functioning, he told me that she would be waiting in the final life for him. Will I also be in that final life. My systems and structure is now on the brink of failing. I find myself wondering.”

“I do not know but let’s ask.” I pushed the button on the fob and both are now here. “I need to ask you for an answer. Cain feels he is close to shutting down and is wondering if he, like my grandmother, will go to the final life or will he just stop. I would really like it if he could go to the final life. I intend to shut this down when I retire. It’s time since this world now knows what I do. Worlds need to now stand on their feet as the goblins do. This world will be in the forefront so my scrounging will be overshadowed by this world.

Cain will not be needed. So I do request that he be afforded the luxury of joining my grandfather on whatever adventures he and grandmother are on.” They say that was also grandfather’s request. Looking at Cain they tell him that when he is ready, he can go to the final life.

Cain asks if I would release him now before the break down occurs. I tell the gods that if that is his wish then I am in agreement. The three of them just disappear. Suddenly this place is no longer a sanctuary where I can come and know that someone is here. I decide that since I have a door to here, I destroy the topside entrance and tunnel into the garage. I deactivate that disintegration program. I have no trespassing signs put up with the notice that this is now a wild life sanctuary, No hunting or fishing. I have been doing this now for almost twenty years. My girls are now in high school and it won’t be too long before, I don’t want to think about that. They still are my three little kittens. They know that but now I see those indications that soon I will not be the center of their world.

Well I do have this hide for the times I feel that it has happened. The ones that come to take them better know that I have enough fire power. No I will put on a brave face and tell them that if they make my kittens cry anything but happy tears, I have friends who have worlds for vacations.

Enough of this shit. I go back through the door to our home. I find that there is a meeting with their mother. It seems like there is going to be a prom in the spring and all three have been asked. They see me. See that I have over heard and then they see me go back through the door. It was quite a few long hours until Catlin comes to me.

She sees me sitting in the Rambler’s passengers seat. I have never sat in his seat. She sees that the tunnel is gone. I get out and she follows me to the lounge. She asks where is Cain. I tell her that he was breaking down and he was taken to the final life. “Why did all these years pass so quickly? Sara, Karen and Catlin were up the drapes crying because they could not get down. Why aren’t my legs punctured from them climbing? Now they are women on the eve of leaving for their great adventure. We will just be the old folks that they visit every once in a while. I have told the gods of all, when they took Cain, that I will be shutting this down when I retire. That is why I sealed the drive entrance. Maybe I should just quit. My grandparents would just travel. I told you about that but I now know it was because they were empty. All left them. I went into the Navy. The others went sour. Why don’t we just both get in the capsule and just go. THIS FUCKEN HURTS!!!!!!!!!!” From the first time since the Navy, I get up and pour a tall glass of whiskey. I sit down and start drinking.

Catlin comes over and takes it away from me and pours it down the sink along with the remainder of the bottle.

She is now both pissed and sad. “Your life is not over. It is their rite of passage, their prom. Now they say that they will tell those boys that they will not be going. They love you more than when they were young. Don’t even try to crawl into a bottle. You will never come out of it. Yes they will leave. Yes they will have lives of their own but remember, we raised them right we are family even though they may roam. Now come back and tell them that you will buy them the best prom dresses that can be made. Put your man pants on. You are their father. My parents are gone and buried on the home world. They are still those two that I love but they are waiting for me in the final life. Are you going to quit on all of us. If that is your plan, just do it. Know this I will wait in the final life and the first thing I will do is kick your ass.”

She puts her hand out. I take it and we go home.

My three had a wonderful time at their prom. It turns out that their dates were not going to college but into the trades. Better wages. Now they are standing with three men standing in front of the minister. All are gone.

Each do not have the same problem their mother had. All have litters. There was one last trash trip. I told that world that I was retiring and they need to really start recycling.

Now my lawyers son is in charge of the firm. I have him liquidate twenty four mill for the three but tell him that he needs to give all my companies to the employees. I give him the bag. “This is now yours. Just ask for inventory but be sitting.” It was what I expected, we see everyone for holidays but all have their own lives to live. The log home is now given to the three. We have moved into a small home nearer to town. This must have been what her parents felt. Catlin is just as lost as I am. We cling to each other often.

Then one morning I woke but she did not. Since we started the cemetery, all those that helped bury those slaves have spaces reserved. With objections from us both, they had our plots out in front.

We buried her in a degradable casket. She was wrapped in a blanket with a bottle of water and some food. I am so lost. My daughter’s come over to check up on me. They always clean but I now notice that when they visit it is now, Dad we need to change our clothes more often. Dad we shouldn’t east that old food. WE and us , that is what I am. I know that they mean well but it came to a point.

“We are not here. Only me. I wander, I have split second thoughts of having to tell your mother something but the next second I remember she will never be here. Now I figure that because of this outburst, I will be shipped off to some world for old folks. I’m sorry I’m just lonely and before you offer, I do not want to move in with one of you. I take up too much of your time. Maybe I should just push the button on the fob and have them take me to the final life. Your children do not like to come here now that their grandmother is gone.

There is no one in this universe that can take her place. Please leave. I don’t want to have you see me like this.

I do get hugs.

At times like this, I would go to the hide but what I have not told my daughters is that I had the two crews come and take everything including the Rambler. I had the Watcher take the capsule, the prints and all the computers along with any storage. That way she could destroy all for the universes sake.

When all of that was done, the Cleanup crew has a very small device that would dissolve all of the concrete. The area on the surface is now a deep sinkhole pond. Before they left, I did thank them but asked for them to forget me and live happy lives. It has been a long time since Catlin has left me. Things fall over, with no wind. I see shadow people, hear things and they sound like Catlin and my sister. I cling to what little sanity I have.

My children, my kittens are now of the age that I know that I am a burden. They too are now seeing that children become adults over night. I am getting more frequent visits from them.

A few years back, I agreed to enter an assisted living complex. Happy Happy, if we seniors don’t show happy, our doses go up. My three come over and talk about how I am now a great grandfather. They show me pictures and leave framed pictures of them. When they leave. I look and do not recognize them. I do see in some my Catlin, my kittens.

They have just left but I do notice that one has left their purse. I know that she will be back soon to collect it.

I have already written them a letter. It is in the end table drawer. I take it out and hold it in my hand along with the fob. I push the button.

Catlin was there with open arms to welcome me. She put me to bed and told me that I had a busy day. “Rest and sleep. In the morning you will feel a lot better. There will be a lot of people that will be here to welcome you.

My shell now rests with all of them. It is next to Catlin. Sara came back for her purse and found that I had left that world. She called Karen and Catlin back before notifying the world.

With my shell sitting in that leather chair, my feet on the foot stool, she read my letter to them.

“My dear kittens Sara, Karen and Catlin. I have decided that this is no life for me or you three. I always see you as my little kittens. The gods of all will let me through that door to the final life. I go willingly. I need your mother. I have spent these last years writing a journal like my grandfather did. Both are in the bottom drawer of my dresser. Do with it what you will. Know that I love each of you dearly but my time is here. Make me and your mother wait a long time for you to join us. Love those children you have. When you read this, the gods of all will make the announcement. I love you three, my kittens, Dad”

Catlin goes over to the dresser an breaks down. They come over and they also are crying. There in that drawer are the two journals, but also three small stuffed kitten dolls. One is an orange with a faded red ribbon. One is brown and black tiger striped with a faded brown ribbon and the last was black with a faded black ribbon. All three looked like they were reverently cared for.

When my shell was prepared the same way as Catlin’s was, in my arms, under that blanket were three stuffed kitten dolls each with those faded ribbons.

Authors notes:

This one started like it was going to be a space adventure but it soon evolved into one man’s life adventure. All families have hidden secrets. All families have conflicts. Some even to hatred.

The scenes here, if you research, are actually real in some ways. There are conflicts, there is racism and bigotry. There are horrible humans torturing and killing. Not everyone lives happily ever after.