Lost in thought by D.A.Sanford - HTML preview

More and more, towns and villages are going to city sewers. What would you do in this man’s life. Young male in your twenties. Struggling with your societal standing. Parents that move away without telling you. Down to picking up deposit cans. You stand at a crossroads in front of a help wanted sign. What will you do?

My septic tank family

Equal rights actually means that I want to be valued more than you without the knowledge you worked so hard to acquire. This is my upside down world. Look pretty, look handsome it made no matter, unless you were in a group termed oppressed. My group, young males, unemployed and either living with your parents or out of your car, face it you are never going to be hired. I did not even qualify for food stamps or any assistance.

There was no permanent residence. Bull shit, that is my car. I tried getting a PO Box but the government did not count that as proof of a permanent residence. My parents have moved to an undisclosed location. They did not want me to move in with them.

I’m one of those who you see picking up deposit cans and bottles. I tried to stand at a strip mall and panhandle but was driven out by someone that parked his luxury car next to my rust bucket. He was dressed better than I was.

“This is my spot. Drag your ass and don’t come back.” He got mad when I wrote a sign with an arrow saying that this is the car the man asking for food drove up in. With people not giving him money, he came over and tried to get physical. I left him on the ground. I am ashamed but he was out cold. I picked his pocket.

I now can eat. He did have over a thousand in his pocket. Now I have it. I left the town.

My life is scum. I ate but my mind always goes back to the measures I took. If there is going to be change, I need to change it myself but how. I’m not going to try to imitate others that mug people. With my conscience I never would be able to live if I became a mugger. Besides, with my luck, the next person I tried would be an off duty cop.

I drive to another county. There are some farms, maybe I can get something there. Farm hand, picker, something, anything that I can earn some wages. Again, my luck. I am going through the very outskirts of town and see a help wanted sign.

The biggest thing is that it is a septic tank pumping job. My stomach is empty, today I don’t eat. Gas money. I’ll eat tomorrow, maybe. I stop and beyond my comprehension, I ask for an application form.

The owner looks at me and has me go out to a truck. It stinks but I don’t let it show. “Get in the passenger’s side.” He tells me and we drive off. I guess that the talk on the drive out is my interview.

“You don’t look like you eat regularly, how did you lose your last job?”

“I got replaced by a more politically correct person that wasn’t a young white male. I have been living out of my car ever since.” I tell him about collecting cans and a partial lie. “My parents were moving. They gave me a thousand and told me to hit the road. I collect cans for the deposit but that only allows me to eat every so often. I have hit as many squirrels as I can. Road kill is meat.”

We stop at a house. He gives me a pair of gloves, a large apron and a mask. “Grap the hose.” I do and we go to the tank lid. Definitely a smell but lately I have been using the porta potty’s and this is almost as smelly.

“Stick the hose in so it is a couple of feet in the muck. I’ll start the pump. Keep the hose in until we start sucking the bottom.”

Thank god I had the apron. There was some splash but I hung in there and yelled when we hit bottom. He brought over the garden hose and washed the suction hose off. Then he had me haul and coil the hose up.

We recovered the tank and he had me stand by the truck while he collected his money.

“All my clients know I want cash when I finish. No check or charge. I have had a few that tried to stiff me. I pump anyone’s tank back is they do not pay.” He laughs and tells me that his brother is the town sheriff.

“Your hired by the way. I pay double the min wage. We work only Monday to Friday but we do finish the days schedule even if it goes beyond sunset. Until you can get on your feet, there is an old trailer behind the shop. I’ll run an extension cord to it. No rent but you will be the weekend emergency service man.”

He hands me the two hundred that he just collected. “You need to eat. We have a few more to pump. After we are done, you shower in the shop and then go get some groceries.”

I cannot thank him enough. He tells me that he had similar problems. “Your parents didn’t give you that money did they. What did you do?”

“I tried pan handling but a guy in a fancy car parked next to my car and confronted me that it was his spot. I made a sign that said that this was his car and stood by it. He came over to me and started a fight. I knocked him out. He had over a thousand on him. I took it and left that area.”

He started to laugh. “I see them all the time. I always stop and offer them a job. A lot of them tell me to go away. The rest just ignore me. I just call my brother. Side note, we both don’t like the pan handlers. You said that you have been collecting cans, not eating, that tells me that you now have a little more respect for yourself.”

We go through three more and then go back to the shop. The fascinating thing is that the shop was still unlocked.

I get some clothes out of my car and go take a long shower. I come out and find that both his clothes and mine are in the wash. His wife has done that. She sees me and shows me to the trailer.

“Put your stuff in here. I’ll dry your things and hang them on the rack by the showers. My husband has told me that you are living in your car and I can tell that those clothes are ones that were only a little less dirty. I want all your clothes. Tomorrow, while you two are out on the runs, I’ll clean them for you.”

I tell her that I can find a laundromat and clean them myself. “I do not want to be a bother or a burden.”

She gives me a mother look that tells me that I said something wrong.

“If it was going to be a burden, I would not have offered.” Now she gets serious. “That man of mine was doing this all by himself and he was aging before his time. That is not an easy job and no one wants to do it. I thank you for joining him. Now I will worry less but please make him run the pump. That back and forth is for you young men.”

I ask where the nearest store is because I need to get some things. She told me where the drug store and the market was. “No junk food! I see more than one chip bag a week and I will be inspecting what is in that trailer.”

“Oh, by the way, I would bet that he did not even tell you his name. I’m Audrie and he is Guss.”

“I’m Calib.”

“Nice to meet you Calib. Now let’s get your things.”

She walks me to the car and just opens the door. One whiff and she says “Almost as bad as his honey wagon. You need to air it out but these clothes won’t help.” She walks into the shop and comes back out with a cart and a garbage bin. Without even asking, she took all the clothes and the empty food bags.

She looks at me and tells me that I need to eat something substantial other than the things I have been eating. “You are the one that is going to make sure that my Guss comes home to me each night. Not feet first.”

I can tell that she really is thankful that I am going to work for her husband. As she is pushing the cart back to the shop, I hear almost a whisper. “I won’t live without him.” I don’t think I was supposed to hear that.

It is nice to be able to go into a store and not just buy the cheapest fill food. I also picked up new shaving things, a not so over powering cologne and deodorant. I still had money left.

My habit has had me only buying the generic brand of everything. Saving money. I did use some for a half a tank of gas.

It was extremely nice and comfortable to sleep in a bed. I knew it would be so I did buy a cheap alarm clock. I made sure that I did not over sleep. I was getting ready to go to the shop when I heard a knock on the door.

It was a moment of panic when I saw a sheriff standing next to Guss. I did the only thing that I could think of. I invited them in. I had just made a pot of coffee so I offered them a cup.

“Please forgive me but I like mine black so I did not get cream and sugar.”

Fortunately they also liked theirs black.

The sheriff, not introducing himself at this time told me that he looked into what I told Guss. “I do not like panhandlers but he attacked you. I find that there is no warrant and no report of the incident. As long as you don’t intend any further such defending your self and then self compensating. I have no problem.”

He sticks out his hand, “Now that that is done. I’m Neal. Nice to meet you Calib. I wanted to meet you and thank you for coming to work for my older brother. It would grieve me to have to bury him prematurely.”

Guss puts up a protest that he could go another thirty years but does say to me, “I do have to agree with them. It really was getting to me. I know that I am weird, I like my job. With no one else and no city sewers, I am constantly in demand. We will have the normal pumping jobs but tanks need replacing, new leach fields and such. Those wear me down. I have the equipment but…”

Neal jumps in and says that he has had one heart attack. “I expect that when those jobs happen, you will be the one doing them. He is to just supervise. Doctors orders, no shoveling, that does include the backhoe. Guss has a tendency to get angry with the digging. It is almost like road rage with the ground. He can use it only to place the tank. If you let him do those things, you will hear the cell door close.”

Guss is now trying to end this conversation. “We need to get to work. Since my pushy brother has threatened you and I need you on the job, I need to show you how to work the backhoe. Sometime this week we need to replace the Guthery‘s tank and sometime in the future the leach field.”

Neal gives him a quick fake jab and then he has the same face that Audrie had. “Take care of my brother.” He leaves.

That must have been a bad heart attack. I won’t ask.

The backhoe was not as complicated as I figured. All the levers are labeled. It is just the coordination skill that I need. After quite a few banging of the bucket, I got the hang of it. Guss did not get mad.

He started to stand near where I was trying to dig. He would show me a signal but also yell what he wanted me to do. By mid morning, I had not only gotten the feel of the machine, Guss was no longer yelling the commands. I followed the hand signals.

I will say that the yelling was not in anger. It was just to let me know what each hand signal meant.

Audrie came over with lunch for us both and she remarked. “I was watching. Guss, you have had a winner drop in your lap. Calib, you do not need to look for any other place. As long as you work for my husband, you can live there rent free. Call it a benefit.”

She has a good smile and hugs her husband, collects the lunch dishes then walks back and she is singing.

Now I hear Guss remark, “It has been quite a while since she has sung like that. Thank you for giving her that.” He turns away as not to let me see the tears forming in his eyes.

The afternoon went well until we went by the local strip mall. There he was. The same guy panhandling. He must have gotten run out of that town and maybe others. I tell Guss that it is the same guy and point out his new Cadillac parked.

Guss pulls out his phone and calls his brother. Neil pulls up next to us. I point out his car and there is a stolen car report on it. It seems that he bought it then ran off. Neil had such a smile on his face.

“Normally I just chase them off but this one is a car thief.”

He stops behind the Caddy and then captures the man. He is arrested. We now come over and Neil throws me the keys for the Caddy. “I need you to drive it over to the station for me. I’ll need to search it for drugs and drug money. The town gets to keep the car and money if drugs are found. We will sell the car back to the dealer if they still want it.”

The panhandler sees me and tried to get me arrested. “He knocked me out and stole my money a month back in Shannon.”

Neil had a big grin on his face. “Do you mean Calib, my nephew? He has been here helping his father every day since he was little. Now don’t dig yourself any deeper by making false statements.”

The panhandler gets thrown into the back seat of the patrol car. I follow him. Guss had told me that his brother will bring me home.

By the time he was booked and the car was searched Neil did find quite a stash of drugs. This man had more than enough to be charged as a dealer. Neil tells me that this will be a good haul for the town.

There was quite a large lock box full of tens and twenties.

“What I said to that man about you is now the truth. I consider you a nephew and I am sure that Audrie will greet you as her son. They, for whatever reason, have not had any children. I hope you don’t mind but you have been adopted.”

I tell him that my parents moved away without telling me where. They did not even want to be asked if I could move in for a while. There was no real love in our family. I had been told that I was an accident.”

Stopping there, it hurt to finally come out with that but it also was a feeling of being free. I finally let it out. “I will let Guss and Audrie tell me how they feel. I won’t push it if they do not say anything.

We pull into the yard and they come out. Audrie put me into a tight hug and all she said was “Welcome home son.” For almost the first time in my life, I found someone that called me son.

“I’m home, mom.”

I could see the two brothers smiling. Later, they both told me that it was wonderful that I called her mom. “She always hurt when she heard someone else be greeted as mom. Neil told Guss that he needed to add to his sign Guss and son somewhere on it.

Being a sheriff, Neil had connections in the town hall. Soon all their records showed an adoption of a teen called Calib in the past.

This whole thing baffles me but it is in a good way. The sign now has “and Son” on it. Most, if not all, people just accept it. I feel that they all know that they always wanted children and now they have one. Adopted does not matter. All they see is that Guss and Audrie are very happy.

All I know is that this warm feeling is something I never felt up until I started pumping tanks with Guss. By the way, he doesn’t want me to call him pop. He says it is not needed but he does call me son now.

I can see me calling him pop sometime in the near future. I feel that I am home.

It has been quite a few months, I have now gone out on solo pump calls and I am now doing the replacements. Guss will empty the individual pumps into a very large tank and a firm comes and exchanges the tank for a hefty fee.

Now’s a good time. “Pop, why don’t we make a cement drying ramp pit. We dry the muck and then sell it as hay field fertilizer. We are out of the way with no one living within a mile of the shop. We could save on the cost of having someone else do the same thing.”

He looks like he has just seen the light. “That would make it so I could take your mother on that vacation she has wanted. Did you just call me pop?”

We got the permits from the town with the proviso that the town’s septic tank would be pumped for free for the next three years. A bargain. I was able to make the prints based on the twice a year tank exchange. That would be maximum.

I used the backhoe and we rented some forms from the next town. The cement cures for more than a week before Guss would let me remove the forms. I back filled and we were able to off load half of the big tank.

This is a dry climate and soon the muck was almost dry. I made the form so I could stir it with the bucket but drive in to extract the now fertilizer. When we were ready, Guss had already made deals with the farmers. They all knew that it was human waste so it could only be used on the hayfields.

The animals eat the hay and that manure can be used in the garden. The farmers here are very knowledgeable and understand. We are getting reports that the hay fields were growing well. They are saving money.

Now for the first time, my new mother and father can go on vacation. The town trusts in me and I actually like this town. They all are now my family. Their vacation was to the spot that they were married at. It was a week that they would remember for the rest of their lives.

They had other vacations but that was the first in twenty years. They both came back actually looking years younger. They bought me a souvenir and some jerky. That felt really good because it was not the price value, it was the thought that made it rich beyond belief.

I wear that tee shirt all the time when not working. It says “My parents went to Rock Port and all I got was this tee shirt.” I make sure that they know that it is my prized possession. My birth parents bought me things but did not put themselves into the gift.

It’s the “My Parents” that I cherish. I could tell that it was from their heart, not a gag gift.

It was mom that one day asked me If I wanted to see my parents some time. I looked at her and without hesitation I say that I see them every day. That got me a good hug and let me see her smile. She is always singing now a days.

This town is growing. We are getting the contracts for the new septic systems. I convinced pop that I wanted to hire some local teens to help with those. “You are the supervisor and teacher on each job. We build to your satisfaction but the pumping is you and me.”

He likes that.

As a side note, I saw that ad for that cat box spray. The man said that it was used in the major cities to eliminate the odor in their sewage processing plants. I found out what it was and now the drying pit and the honey wagon smells like flowers.

A funny side note of our drying the muck is our display of found objects. There are a lot of things that make it into a septic tank. From toys to teeth, false and real. Rings and things. Anything you can imagine. We made a glass front cabinet that displayed those items.

It was not uncommon for someone that had their tank pumped to come over, describe a lost piece of jewelry. Pop and I would bring out what we had and quite a few times left with their lost item found. The other items were on display but were not given back because of the media they were in, jewelry could be sanitized.

We had become very successful. No longer just sewage, we were now into foundations, patios and anything that would require digging and concrete forms. This area was starting to grow. Open space for industry.

It has been a few satisfying years with my new family. The business is thriving. No longer the stink pariah. With the deodorizer and new ways of doing things, we now have a crew. The locals now want to work for us. We can use them because of the new portion of our business.

You need it dug, we have the equipment to do it. We even have that horizontal directional drilling rig. That way we can run pipe without destroying your yard.

The best thing is that Guss is the teacher and will go to each site each day of the dig and make sure that the crew knows safety and respect for the client. Mom loves it. We both see him almost getting younger.

It is to the point that Neil has asked me to look over the sheriff’s department to see if there is ways to improve their work. My uncle has made me a volunteer deputy. In emergencies extra hands are needed but he also needed someone that could coordinate any emergency operation.

This town, I love it and really see myself living here for the rest of my life.

One day, while getting the crews their assignments, a car pulls in and I see a pair that I recognize. They are my biological parents. Neil was here to discuss my proposal. He and Guss saw my face as I was looking at the man and woman coming over.

“There you are, son.” My birth father said.

“What the hell are you two doing here! You moved away without letting me know where you went. You told me that I was an accident. I have a good life here with my mother, father and uncle. Unless you have some job you want us to quote, I have a business to run.”

My biological mother has some crocodile tears as she tells me that I am inconsiderate. “That was only to prepare you for this cruel world.”

Neil is moving to do something. I hold out my hand as to stop him. “This is not a cruel world. My family here are the best.” I point to each as I say. “My mother here is nothing but love. My father is understanding and loves me. My uncle here looks out for me. I have become a well respected member of this community.”

Neil now comes forward and really is imposing. “State your business here or drive out of here now.”

Bio father takes a paper out of his coat and hands it to me. “This is a court order for you to return with us to our home. We are your real parents not them. Get in the car.”

Now I am mad. They made mom and dad upset. “Get your fucking asses out of here. I’m not a minor that can be ordered around. I’m in my twenties. We have papers filed with the town where you gave me up in my early teens, right uncle Neil.”

Neil comes up and takes the papers. “I’m going to contact this court and find out exactly what is going on. Until you hear from the court, I advise you very strongly to get back into that car and drive away. Do not show your faces here again.”

They see all of our crews ready to pounce but the biggest threat is from the man and woman who now have stepped between me and them. Audrie and Guss. I hug both and thank them for being my parents from my teens.

The two get back in their car but without a last threat. “You will hear from my lawyers.”

I turn my back on them. Neil gets into his patrol car and follows them until they leave the county but he has friends. There is another patrol car from the neighboring county that picks up the escort.

After the things cooled down for the day, we all went to work. That included Neil. At supper, Neil comes in and joins us. He has such a smile on his face, even I get the shivers.

“That order was based on false information presented to the court. They told the court that you were abducted and that you were still a minor. Their lawyer did contact me. He said that he too was told that you were a minor. I sent him the adoption papers and showed that you indeed were an adult.”

He still is grinning. “You know, I just love those clichés. You had a rich old uncle that has left his fortune to you, his only nephew, with the explicit instructions that you as a minor would have your parents as custodians. He has taken the adoption decree to the probate and filed it with them.”

He turns to Guss and Audrie and tells them that within the week they will be notified of the transfer of the estate to you. I was told that it is in the neighborhood of a half of billion.”

He just waits for the three of us to reboot and then tells us that the two are under arrest for false statements and they had tried to loot the mansion that he owned. They were arrested while loading items into a rental van. Burglary, perjury and a few other charges.”

Neil now laughs, “You my dear nephew are filthy rich.”

“No uncle, my parents are now rich. We sell the estate. My parents will now have enough money to never worry again. I want this town to be included. Don’t you need new police equipment? New cars? This town needs a recreational center. Indoor pool for swimming and water therapy. This money will benefit all. I love my town and the people in it. The only thing is that we get the digging contracts. A little nepotism, right mom and dad?”

Soon those dreams were made public when we got the distribution of the estate. The lawyer that my uncle had was the one that we had liquidate the physical estate for thirty percent. That way he has the incentive to get the most for everything.

Our town was abuzz with the new things that were appearing. First was the new sheriff patrol cars. Neil did not go for the most expensive things but he was able to get the best things for the best price.

Locals, whenever possible got the building contracts. This town is flourishing. Businesses are seeing the improvements and are moving in. The biggest thing was that this town will not allow those big box stores to come in and drive the locals out.

Me, I only kept a few million.

Once we had complete control of the estate, I contacted the courts in the estate area and had them drop all charges, with the exception of the perjury charges. I also got a restraining order against them for life due their giving me up at a young age but came back to try to rob from me.

I would be willing to say that we have not seen the last of them.

The news has picked up on all the things that are happening to the town. There has been station after station that has sent reporters to the town to find out what they could. Luckly they don’t know who is funding the improvements.

The funny thing is, none of them have stopped by the septic pumping business that is owned by a father and son team. It does not stink but they do not even stop. Impressions can b wrong but my parents and I love it.

All the local sheriff will comment on is that they have a benefactor that loves this town. “We refuse to disclose that information.” Is all that he will say. Now the town is being hit with “Freedom of information” suits.

The town opens their records and sure enough, all they have is statements from the bank that show when money has been added to building accounts. The bank only shows when money is being deposited electronically.

My uncle knew that this may happen, so he had us set up several VPN sites. Nothing illegal but the trail is long but encrypted so that it could not be traced back to us.

Those birth parents were let out on probation. No jail time. They have seen the news about our town. Soon the business had to have my uncle to chase everyone out of the yard. Those people went to the station. They poured their eyes out. “Our son was abducted and was brain washed by Guss and Audrie along with the corrupt sheriff. Our son no longer is in control of the vast fortune he inherited.”

They said enough to make our lives miserable so I alone sat down with a reporter and explained exactly what happened. Showed the court paperwork, including the restraining order the they violated by going to the news.

“Right now, those two are being sued for violating the gag order portion of the restraining order. This town has been and is my family. The court recognizes me as that adopted son of Guss and Audrie Keplier. I just ask that you respect us and our privacy. The money is clean. I only wanted to remain anonymous. All I have been doing is helping this town that I love.”

Some stations spun it but the one I gave the interview to played the whole, unedited, interview. The fervor died down when the next news cycle found out that there was nothing juicy in the story. My facts were backed up with records.

As a side note, this time, those two were sentenced to time in jail. Court costs and penalties, They are now, after they get out, going to have to live in a cape cottage style house that I bought them. Their home has been given to a charity to be auctioned off. The proceeds will go to that charity.

One thing that has not stopped is the influx of females trying to make the big catch. Also ones that are begging for money. Almost like they are intitled. One was that panhandler.

That one showed up, after he served his time for car theft. He was a changed man. Now driving a rust bucket like mine. I still have it. I like that car. He is here to apologize to me for that first time he accosted me.

Neal was here and the panhandler also thanked him for arresting him. “I was in jail and saw people who were just trying to survive. They were caught doing something they thought they needed to do. I saw what I did in a new light. I don’t care if you believe me but I do ask that you have an open mind.”

He goes to get back into his car. I need to do something so I tell him to wait. I go inside and get him a check from my personal account and hand it to him. “Go to the bank in town. They will cash it.”

He is stunned. The check is written for five times the original amount that I took from him when I knocked him out. He is just looking at me.

“That represents what I stole from you but also four times that amount as recompense. A closing of the eyes, so to speak. You are not the arrogant man that was panhandling. This is your chance to start anew. Let us know how you are doing. May God look after you.”

We turn and go into the office as he drives into town.

He did truly change. That money was used for good. He made the news and now is working for a charity as a spokes person telling of his past life, his reformation and works of hope that they find that someone who will change their life.

Author’s note:

I have found over my life that there are a few things that I missed in my life.

In my writings, I hope that you have picked up on those. My most felt one is that you do not know what you have until it is gone from you. I worried about other things, especially money. I sit in my back room typing and hope you see that family is your riches. True love. There are going to be differences, maybe even fights but after my wife was in decline, I found that out.

I had a grudge against my older brother, I won’t say what it was. I contacted him in the state he lives in and told him about my wife. Told him that I did not want either of us to go to the grave with this between us. We still live in different states but we share. I have been to his home and he to mine.

Family is your riches. All other worries can be dismissed. My wife died to be there to welcome her boys home. I was here to see them off. Now she only has one more to welcome.

Today’s world, I have no worries. I only have to watch after myself and my cats, Chip and Missy.

D.A.Sanford