It was January, and time for Yearly Meeting once again. This year it was to be held in Perth. Chaim decided not to go, but Sheree wanted to attend, and so she asked for and received clearance from the local meeting in Sydney to do so. Anyone all owed to attend Yearly Meeting could participate in business meetings as well as most other sessions.
Chaim met Sheree as she stepped off the Indian-Pacific at Strathfield Station on her return from Perth.
"Welcome back," he said, as he greeted her with a hug, and reached out to take her bag. "How'd it go?"
"Oh it was great," she said, with a little less enthusiasm than he had expected. "Everyone was nice. They treated me just like I was one of them."
"I told you they would," he reminded her. "But you're acting like something's wrong. What is it?"
Their relationship had progressed to the point where he could almost read her mind.
"I'm worried that you might be upset with me," she said.
"Why? What happened?" Chaim had the feeling she was looking forward to telling him.
"At one of the sessions we discussed the Peace Testimony. I mentioned something you did, just to get their view. It wasn't very good." She looked up to gauge his reaction.
"You what? What did you tell them?" Chaim was shocked.
"I asked them if it's okay to kill someone, if you think God has told you to."
"What does that have to do with me?" Chaim asked, feeling cautious as well as shocked.
"I said that you would kill someone if God told you to. You would, wouldn't you?"
What was most surprising about this was that Chaim had never had any such discussion with Sheree. Where was she getting this? Did she know something about the three men in the cave in Yutang? No, that wasn't possible.
"Well ... would you?"
"Would I what?" Chaim had become lost in thought.
"Would you kill someone if God told you to?"
"C'mon, Sheree! That's not fair. Besides, how could you tell them something like that if we've never talked about it ourselves?"
"I'm trying to talk about it now, and you're avoiding the subject," Sheree argued. Of course she was right.
Chaim went silent as they walked from the station to the squat. On arrival, he left her to unpack and headed off to the library, where he could be alone.
What he needed was time to think. Not about whether he would kill someone if God told him to, because one might as well say that he already had... and not about whether Sheree was aware of it because he was sure she was not. But more about what his attitude should be toward her, under the circumstances.
She obviously knew what her disclosure would do to his acceptance amongst Friends. It was like she had gone there for the express purpose of betraying him. But the truth in what she had said was the biggest part of the hurt he was feeling.
Who could he turn to for counsel on how to deal with something like this?
That was when he decided to email Rayford. A full disclosure of his relationship with Sheree went into the email. He didn't go so far as to say what had happened in the cave, but he did say that there was some truth in what Sheree had said.
It was still a few hours before Rayford would be awake in London, but he hung around the library waiting. During that time he pondered and prayed, but his mind was racing so that he could not get anything through listening. Three hours later, he received a reply from Rayford.
"Thanks for writing," Rayford began. "The important thing is that you've opened up and shared what is going on. These kind of relationships always lead to problems if you keep them secret."
Chaim had explained that he did not see a way to escape Sheree if she put her mind to tracking him down.
"You must set borders," Rayford said. "Don't be afraid to say No. And then trust God to help you deal with any fallout that comes from it."
What Rayford said made perfect sense. Chaim should have taken him into his confidence from the start.
Although Rayford too was a pacifist, the issue of whether he would lay aside that belief for God was not the problem to him that it had been for Chaim.
Technically, Chaim had not killed anyone. But he had been a party to God killing someone, and that was where his dissonance came from. He had accepted that God has a right to take away a person's life, but he did not have the words to explain that to Friends, many of whom did not even believe in the existence of God.
The email from Rayford marked the start of a special relationship between the two of them. But it also marked the end of Chaim's relationship with Sheree and with most Quakers. Quite apart from any truth in what Sheree had said, he knew the motive behind it was evil, and that it was time for him to start "hating" her... for God.
Sheree had the good sense not to approach Chaim that evening, but the next morning she came knocking. He stood at the door as he talked, not inviting her inside.
"What's the matter? Can't we talk?" she asked.
"I don't think we have anything to talk about," Chaim replied. "You've betrayed me, and that's your right. But you've destroyed our friendship by doing so."
"Quakers had a right to know what you really believe," she said. "Why're you angry with me, just for telling the truth?"
"Because you haven't told the whole truth. You've told only that piece of the truth that you thought you could use to hurt me."
"Chaim, if I wanted to hurt you, there are much worse things I could do," Sheree said with a threatening glint in her eyes.
Chaim could see the truth in that. But he was not going to back down.
"If I've done anything wrong, I'll take my punishment," he said , "but I'm not going to help you in your campaign. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."
And he shut the door.
Sheree attempted, over the next few days, to convince Chaim that she was sorry, that she had not meant him any harm, that there was still hope for their friendship. But Chaim knew better. He had known it from the moment she first greeted him in the darkened bedroom, two years ago. She was there to stop him.
They continued to live as neighbours, exchanging civil greetings whenever their paths crossed, but Sheree never re-entered his room, and he never joined her in the back yard after that.