Chapter Eighteen--Listening to Whom?
As quickly as Chaim learned anything, either from his times of meditation, from studies of the Bible, or through information he was picking up from the movement in England, he passed it on to the six teams he had sent out.
Previously, the message had been free of dogmas or creeds. Everyone had been swept along by an exhilarating move of the spirit. Each person was left to work out their own ideas about right and wrong and about where this was all leading. The message being passed from convert to convert was just to follow their heart. But now that was changing. Chaim and Rayford Strait, a retired airline pilot who was spear-heading the movement in England, were trying to explain what was happening; and they were drawing heavily from the Bible to do it.
Sheree had a problem with this, and she wrote to Chaim about it: Dear Brother Chaim, I am writing because I feel you are in danger of destroying something wonderful that is happening under the guidance of the Spirit. Bobbi and I have seen thousands of people drawn together, in Korea, and here in Japan, as a result of our ministry. We are not trying to control it, but we are the instruments through which this is happening. As you know, I have had to adjust my own ideas to conform with what you and others are sharing... about working for love and about listening to the voice of the Spirit. This I could do, because it did not contradict what I believe.
But now this man from England is trying to move in and make this a Christian movement. Here in Japan and in Korea we are working with people who consider themselves to be Buddhists, worshippers of their ancestors, or followers of other religions that are much older than Christianity. They're not going to convert if that's what you expect. If you continue with what you're doing, it could destroy everything we've started.
Chaim had been planning a tour through Asia, and so he responded by email:
Dear Sheree and Bobbi, I agree that we should not do anything that will damage what the two of you have started there. Please do not act rashly. I have heard your concerns, and I will be coming over to share with you both next week.
I'll be arriving at Tokyo International on China West flight 017 from Sydney at 6:30am on Friday the tenth.
Chaim was uncharacteristically worried about the implications of Sheree's letter ... not for himself or even for the thousands of people following her, but for Sheree herself. She had become his favorite amongst the six judges, mainly because of her own special brand of confidence. Outwardly Sheree evidenced a carefree faith in her voices. But privately she had confided in him about the struggle that she went through constantly, trying to discern between the "good" voices and the "bad" ones.
"Yes, I have schizophrenia," she had confessed to Chaim. "But I see it as a blessing as well as a curse. I can hear the goddess guiding me in a way that others do not. It's so clear and easy if I just trust her. But there are other voices too. I have to block them out."
Chaim arrived in Tokyo feeling surprisingly alert despite getting little sleep on the overnight flight. He was keen to share with the two women.
"How are you? You're looking great!" he said as he hugged Sheree with deep emotion in the arrivals lounge. Sheree was just so naturally huggable, but there was a tension this time that ended the hug abruptly.
"And how about you?" Chaim said as he turned to give Bobbi a hug. "How is your Japanese coming along?"
"Sukoshi sukoshi," she said in Japanese, and they all laughed... slightly.
They drove to a park near the airport and moved to a picnic table to talk.
Chaim sat on one side, and the two women sat facing him.
Bobbi and Sheree did all of their business through the Internet, using the laptop modem in an old Hi-Ace campervan. A solar panel on the roof gave them power to run the computer during the day, and so they had no need of an office.
The Hi-Ace was both their home and their office.
"Before we say anything about our differences, can we have a little listening time?" Chaim said when they were seated. The women agreed and they each closed their eyes to listen.
Five minutes went by without anyone saying anything. Then Chaim spoke.
"Hate."
It was all he said. There was a pause while the others either reflected on what it could mean, or waited for him to say more. Then Sheree spoke.
"That doesn't sound very good," she said. "I think it's a warning... about where this Christian stuff is leading."
Chaim did not think it was a warning, but he had no better interpretation.
When it appeared that Sheree was through listening, and when he saw Bobbi waiting for an answer, he responded.
"I don't know what it means," he confessed. "What do you think we should do about it?"
"We should go back to what we were doing before Rayford came along,"
said Sheree. "Just let each person follow their own path. It's far more loving."
Bobbi was not saying anything, but she was listening intently.
"Fair enough," Chaim answered. But what about my path? That's what led me to what I'm doing now. Where do I go with that?"
"Rewind back to where you started listening to Rayford," Sheree said.
Chaim found himself wanting to use terms like 'Sheree honey' or 'darling' to convey his deep feelings, and the agony he was going through just to disagree with Sheree like this. "But if I did that, then I'd be listening to you," he said.
He leaned across the table and placed one hand on Sheree's and one on Bobbi's. "You see," he said softly, "I have an inner voice too, and my inner voice is telling me to go with Rayford. I love you, both of you." (It was Sheree that he was looking at.) "And I love what you women are doing here; but if we really believe in listening, then we have to trust the Spirit to lead others too. And he's leading me in a different way."
"But you're trying to get us to follow you, and you're trying to get all these other people to do the same thing. Is that fair?"
"Can I say something?" asked Bobbi.
"Sure," Sheree answered.
"You know, I've never considered myself to be a Christian either. But something in my spirit says that what Chaim is saying is true. Shouldn't we let the people here in Japan each decide for themselves? What Chaim is saying, and maybe what Rayford is teaching too, is a different kind of Christianity."
Sheree was shocked, and hurt. Before this, Bobbi had not questioned her stand against Chaim's conversion to Christianity. She felt betrayed that Bobbi would be talking like this now.
"You heard what he said, Bobbi. He said "Hate". That's where it's leading. I've seen the way Christians act when I talk about the Goddess. Do you want to be part of that?"
"Well , I don't know..." Bobbi had no defence, but neither was she backing down.
"I don't know either, Sheree," said Chaim. "I don't know what the word meant or why I said it. Maybe we should have waited longer... for an interpretation. You know that I love you, don't you?"
"Chaim, it's not you that I'm against. It's Rayford, and the influence he's having on you. You used to be so open and accepting, but now you're changing. Can't you see it?"
"What I see," said Chaim, "is that listening is all about change. We each have prejudices, and God wants us to overcome them. If you think..." and he paused to look around for something to illustrate his point. Then he banged his fist on the picnic table. "If you think this table is real, but Bobbi thinks it isn't, then one of you is wrong and needs to change. Would you change your beliefs if you found something better?"
"Stop loving, and start hating? Is that what you're asking me?" Sheree said, raising her voice in anger. "No, I'm not going to do that. Not for anyone. Some things can't be compromised."
Chaim was stumped.
"Sheree, please. I don't want to lose you and I don't want to hurt you. You each have to do what the spirit is telling you to do. I'm not going to stand in the way of that."
When Sheree didn't answer immediately, he went on. "Maybe you're right. Maybe others will feel the same as you after they hear what Rayford and I are saying." Then he decided to go farther. "Maybe they shouldn't even hear it. It's up to the two of you... each of you... to decide for yourselves what you want to do with what I'm saying. They're your followers, not mine."
It wasn't a perfect solution, but it could buy time. Sheree could see the good sense in not fighting, for she too had deep feelings for Chaim; so she let the discussion die, and shifted her attention to the needs of the day. She showed Chaim, who was starting to feel his tiredness now, where he could sleep at the back of the van.
"The table makes down into a second bed, and there's a third bed over the cab which Bobbi uses," she explained. "So you can have this one." Sheree dearly wanted Chaim to know that she did not have anything against him personally.
"Later on we'll be driving into the city, but if you can sleep through it, please do."
Then she and Bobbi left the van to give Chaim some privacy. They returned to the park, where they sat side by side in two swings and talked.
"Why didn't you back me up?" Sheree asked, when they were settled.
"We were listening," Bobbi said, "and I got a picture of a line of people holding hands. I thought it was saying that we can do this; we can work together with Chaim, just passing on what he gives us and letting others down the line decide for themselves."
"We can work together with Chaim?" Sheree asked, looking deep into Bobbi's eyes. "Or we can work together with each other?"
"Well , both... if you're willing."
"If I'm willing? What does that mean? I love Chaim dearly, Bobbi. You know that. But he didn't do what you and I have done here; and Rayford had even less to do with it.
"It isn't really Chaim that I'm against. I want to work with him. But Rayford's messing with his head. It's been the history of religion. Men interfere and try to use it to achieve their own ends. What you and I are doing here is beautiful and free. We need to keep it that way."
"So how do we do that?" Bobbi asked. She was probably the least Aboriginal of all the assistants working with the six judges. She had been raised by European foster parents, and only when she reached university did she begin to show an interest in her Aboriginal roots.
"We don't pass on their poison, for one thing," Sheree answered. "Let the members here in Japan and in Korea decide for themselves."
"But how can they decide for themselves if we don't even let them hear what Chaim and Rayford are saying?" Bobbi asked.
Sheree was barely able to mumble the word "intuition" before her eyes went blank and then rolled up into her head.
Bobbi knew the look, and it triggered a similar disinterest in the previous conversation for herself. She didn't get audible voices like Sheree, but she did receive visions. They sat there silently for a couple of minutes, just dangling peacefully in the two swings, with their hands on the ropes.
"Did you get it?" Sheree asked eventual y.
"Yeah. I saw a big building with no door or window, something like a warehouse."
"Right," said Sheree. "And I know how to get there. Do you think it would disturb Chaim if we drove there now?"
"He was expecting us to go into town anyway. What do you suppose it's all about?"
"Let's see how he's doing. I'm not sure, but maybe this is to show us… and to show Chaim... that we don't need Rayford."
When they opened the door of the big van, they found Chaim snoring peacefully.
"I really do like him. He's so free from the usual male pretensions... when he's not listening to Rayford," Sheree whispered as she turned the key.
They drove in silence for several minutes, following the freeway past several exits, and then taking a turn to the left, followed by a number of other turns. Then Sheree pointed ahead, on the left. "Is that it?" she asked, knowing already what Bobbi's answer would be.
Sheree pulled up to the kerb, just past the front of the building. "Good ole intuition!" she said. "Never fails. Let's check it out."
She left the keys in the ignition and they climbed out of the van. There did not appear to be either a door or a window at the front of the building, but there was a narrow walkway down one side, between the building and an overgrown hedge. The two women headed down it. When they were halfway along, they came to a small side door. It was ajar.
"Hello! Is anyone there?" Sheree sang out in Japanese. No one answered.
She pushed the door inward and leaned through the opening.
"Come in! Come in!" A slight Japanese woman in her forties motioned for them to come in.
"You like?" she said. "This is for you. Take it." She handed them a heavy shoulder bag. Sheree looked at Bobbi, and Bobbi looked back.
"What's this?" Sheree asked.
"Is gift. For you. You take it. Go." She motioned toward the door through which they had just come in.
Sheree looked inside and her eyes just about popped out. It was full of money. American hundred dollar bil s.
"You take it. You go. Hurry," the Japanese woman repeated.
"Yeah, sure. Thank you," Sheree said, and she hurried Bobbi out into the laneway.
"It's money," she whispered loudly to Bobbi as they moved quickly down the narrow walkway. "Lots of it. A gift from the Goddess. It looks like we haven't lost our touch, eh?"
Then, just as they emerged at the front of the building, two Japanese police cars pulled into the drive, and police jumped out of each of them, with their guns drawn. One walked over to Sheree and took the bag from her hand. He peeked inside and then handed it to his assistant.
"Come with us," he said to them both in Japanese.
*
"We're in deep shit now," Bobbi said to Sheree when they were finally alone together in the cell. "How're we gonna get out of this? And what's Chaim going to think?"
They had been charged with receiving stolen money, and would be facing court the following Monday. Chaim was due to fly out the next day, and he would wake up in a strange neighbourhood in a strange country.
"We both knew the Spirit was telling us to go there," Sheree said, half as a question. "You did get it too, didn't you?"
"Yeah, sure, I did. But was it really God?"
Police had entered the warehouse from the rear just as the women had entered from the front. The raid was in connection with a drug deal that had taken place there a few minutes earlier. When the woman in the office saw the police coming, she had sent Sheree and Bobbi out with the money in their hands.
They tried meditating, to see if they could get an answer, but, despite hours of listening, they both drew blanks.
"What's wrong? Why can't we get anything?" Bobbi asked. "It's like we've lost contact."
"We have to try harder," Sheree urged. But Bobbi was working on a different theory.
"What if God is trying to humble us?"
"Don't be silly. We just got something wrong. We have to solve this ourselves."
Bobbi wasn't so sure. She started to ask God if their predicament was related to them not submitting to Chaim. There was no response; but there was a peaceful feeling... kind of a confidence about acknowledging Chaim's superior wisdom.
"Look, it's working. I feel right in my heart about doing it Chaim's way," Bobbi said to her stubborn cellmate. But Sheree would not budge.
"You're giving up everything we had for a bunch of churchy propaganda," she said. "What we've started here is a lot bigger than sunday school stories and bible col eges, Bobbi. It's about everyone just walking their own path. It's about listening!"
"But listening to what?" asked Bobbi. "You know, sometimes we hear things that aren't right. Maybe we need to listen to people like Chaim too. Even Chaim's listening to Rayford. Maybe God is talking through them."
"Men! Can't you see it, Bobbi? They try to take over and run the show. It always happens like that."
Just then the rattle of keys turned their attention to the heavy metal door between the holding area and the station proper. It clanked open and a guard entered, fol owed by Chaim with his trademark grin.
"You do know how to get me acquainted with the streets of Tokyo, don't you!" he said.
"So how did you find us?" Bobbi asked, when they had cleared the formalities and left the station.
"I prayed," Chaim answered. "It is what we do, you know.
"And then I called the police. Thank God, the first station I called happened to be this one, and they knew English," he said as he unlocked the Hi-Ace.
Chaim handed the keys to Sheree. "You drive," he said.
When they were inside, he continued. "It seems your story checked out, so they dropped the charges. But how on earth did you end up in such a wrong place at such a wrong time anyway? I thought you were going into the city to collect mail."
"It's a long story," Sheree said glumly, and Bobbi decided not to add anything further.
That night Bobbi spoke privately with Chaim, but Sheree made no further attempt to communicate deeply before he left.
Chaim's final defence came just before he checked in for his flight to Beijing the next morning.
"Something big is happening," he said. And it's not just happening inside people's heads. Your members are going to want some direction. You can help them if you stay open to all that the Spirit is telling you. Please think about it."