CHAPTER 34
(Arbitrating Into The Lunch Hour)
There would be no Wendy's Triple Cheeseburger for either Mr. Paul or me today. Or if there would, it was going to come rather late for the BOTH of us.
I knew it was only Sell-A-Ding-Dong (Celadon) talk but it was still kind of funny. Mr. Paul and his attorney Dennis sat across the table from me in the processing office of the courts separate from the actual court room. I had previously watched YouTube helpful hint videos at the Library and could hardly wait to show off a new word I had learned. Arbitration. Before I fully splayed out 25 Manila folders on the table I sized up my very tall match Mr. Dennis the corporate attorney for the company. He looked quite edumacated and with his age I knew he was a heck of a lot more edumacated than I was. I could tell his curiosity was piqued at this point. A man driving over 600 wages, lots of trips to Staples, all over some owed wages. The question was how much?
I put my hat on the table first. "So this must be the arbitration point?"
I didn't get too much of a response before the actual "Arbitrator" showed up at our table. It was good to FINALLY HAVE A MEETING WITH MR.PAUL AFTER 3 FAILED PREVIOUS ATTEMPTS. I guess dragging your operations manager to court just might be one way to ensure a tete-a-tete meeting.
Mr. Paul didn't feel like talking to me so he let his attorney do the work.
Dennis was very professional. My little brother had always warned me to beware of older attorneys because they always seem to win.
"So what are we looking at?" Asked the attorney looking to strike a deal.
I had already sent them the demand letter months ago. It was an entire two months later and my patience had already been tested enough. My Initial notice of claims stated they still owed me around $800 and some change but the debt had grown substantially since then because I continued to comb through my 25 paychecks until I found more and more and it had nearly doubled. There was one small problem however. I was a gambler. Something told me I could squeeze a heck of a lot more just for my pains and sufferings. Since I filed suit I couldn't help but notice the needle on my online reputation score was dipping towards the yellow zone.
"Five thousand dollars. Give me five thousand dollars and I'll sign off on the case."
Quite a grimace ensued from the both of them. I think even Mr. Paul couldn't help but grin. But I was serious. Dead serious. I had gone all in on this case.
"Can I see the spreadsheet?" Asked Mr. Dennis.
"Sure." I handed an extra copy to him. As he scrutinized it I pulled one of my folders with bank statements in it. I wanted the attorney to see that when the payroll ladies claim that fixing a paycheck on payday is not possible they are lying. I had the proof right in my bank statements that the company back in May had in fact made "two" direct deposits in the same day after I had put up a fuss. I knew that EVERY trucker out there would JUST LOVE to know that phone calls could be made and fixing pay shortages could be dealt with right then and there. The whole "wait until next paycheck" was nothing more than a lazy payroll department's lie.
As we sat at the table I suddenly remembered something. The contract! I had bugged this company since my 01/31/2018 hire date for the payment contract I had signed. Surely these people would be smart enough to bring the initial contract!
I closed my manila folder and looked at Mr. Paul sitting across from me. He sure didn't feel like being too friendly today.
"The payment contract. Do you guys have the payment contract I signed in January?"
Mr. Paul suddenly got real cocky on me. "What contract?" He said dubiously but I knew he knew what I was referring to.
I could see the corporate attorney getting confused by the tension building up. I had already deduced at this point that Mr. Dennis knew very little about this small claims case. I was very much certain the case had only been brought to his attention within the past few days. One thing was for sure. His Manila folder was looking mighty thin. I don't even think he could come up with more than ten papers.
It seemed as though I had already been outsmarted by the attorney because the "alleged" contract popped out of nowhere. I think it was secretly hidden under the attorney's left arm the entire time.
Mr. Dennis moved his arm out of the way completely so I could take a look at it. It looked like it had been scaled down and manipulated. The signature looked electronic and not like the initial pen one I signed in January. I was getting utterly confused.
Mr. Paul began to make himself look foolish. He kept his hardball demeanor the same.
"Like the contract you signed over there." Said Mr. Paul. I chuckled as I surely didn't recognize it looking like that.
How could I have known if Paul photo-shopped one on his laptop?
"Is that something you just recently made on your computer?"
The corporate attorney began to feel uncomfortable. The courts already had email proof I had requested a copy of the contract months ago but was stonewalled.
They still had no intentions of giving me a copy of that contract to keep for myself. The attorney stood up from his chair slowly.
"Paul I would like to speak to you in a separate room. Do you mind if I speak with Paul privately for a while?"
I nodded. I needed them to walk away anyways so I could take a better look at that thing. What was the 26 weeks about on the contract? I SURELY didn't remember that?
The duo walked over towards an adjacent room where I could still see them but not be able to hear them. They had never allowed me a copy of the contract that I allegedly signed in January but I was able to peek at it across the table well enough to read it. It was very succinct so I did my best to memorize it. I was quite certain it wasn't the real contract mostly because the big "PAYMENT" font did not look the same as the contract I still had from 2014. I was quite certain Mr. Paul was up to no good. Forgery was a serious crime. Especially when it came to contracts. But what could I prove? Did I initially have a copy from January to prove other wise?
I stared intently at their contract trying so desperately to look for three letters together "HHG" but I was 100% certain the House Hold Goods abbreviation was not on the photo chopped looking document. Then I realized their strategy. It wasn't the initial contract. The attorney was testing my memory and trying to trick me for a good argument. I could hear his coup de grace argument in my mind as I imagined him pulling out "the actual" contract to hand to the judge. Your honor. If Mr. Steidler clearly states he doesn't believe the other contract was what he initially signed then how would he know that unless he had a copy?
It was a good strategy but it would fail miserably. Because of the dates, the 5/18 newer contract would supersede the older one and that of course didn't mention any House Hold Goods miles which doesn't even exist anyways. I had deduced there was a good possibility Mr. Paul could have contributed to inventing a new mileage calculating scam. But even if the House Hold Goods mileage pay held any weight in court it wouldn't matter because after cloying amounts of research, I was able to prove that Mr. Paul's HHG scam contradicted itself and I had proof that even with the scam I was getting shorted quite a bit. I knew what my coup de grace argument was going to be in the hearing and it would surely draw gapes from the courtroom. If the judge would ever agree to allowing the HHG scam to hold weight my closing argument was going to be "Okay then prove I was out of route."
I gave the contract one last stare down. There was no mentioning of HHG mileage pay period which didn't make any sense. Was this attorney seeking the truth and Mr. Paul was covering his tracks by manipulating the contract because he didn't want the corporate attorney to know just how very deep the scam went?
The zip code to zip code scam did in fact go very deep. There of course was a big catch to all of this. Was this mileage scam being used on ALL the drivers?It wasn't. Only on stupid people or convicted criminals too afraid to say anything. Basically how the company was breaking the law was they were intentionally taking extra time by going into the settings mode and hitting the "shortest route" button but supplying the longer route to the drivers that was more practical because was highway miles which could be achieved sooner. When the new drivers would speak up about it the companies would then try defending themselves by suggesting the drivers weren't following the routing provided which simply wasn't true. In the House Hold Goods scam it clearly states that "if the out of route miles are greater than ten percent" then the mileage pay could be disputed. That was the whole crux of the scam. "The out of route miles".
The scam Celadon had created was pure genius but obviously would never hold any weight in court to anybody that could understand basic English and add and subtract. It mentioned thresholds of the zip codes and a bunch of zany curve balls to throw off inquisitive drivers like myself wondering about those 20,000 unpaid accrued miles at the end of the year.
I continued to splay out my twenty five Manila folders onto the table while Mr. Paul had his meeting with the corporate attorney in the adjacent room. What they were talking about in there I'll never know but at one point I heard Paul giggling loud all triumphant like. Because of my mental condition, these unknown laughter outbreaks can exacerbate my mind and potentially make me a dangerous man. I've struggled with this quite a bit in life sitting at restaurants and hearing laughter at a table across the room and assume they know who I am and are making jokes about me. This never bodes well with me.
Especially from a guy like Mr. Paul. I knew he was a lot smarter than me with the way he carried himself but I was quite certain I was taller and skinnier. I have to admit I did envy his college credentials but that was really about all.
I continued to organize my folders when the arbitrator lady in the yellow dress accosted me. She evidently was the messenger for both Mr. Paul and the corporate attorney.
She smiled pleasantly at me. "How much did you say you wanted again?"
I was adamant. "Five thousand bucks. Would you like to see my graph?"
Before she could reply I unfurled my nearly ten foot net graph proving my financial losses as I had gone months without income. As I pointed to things on my graph some young guy in his twenties I noticed was watching us and appeared to be starting a tweet-a-thon. I surmised he was tweeting updates to a very much curious Celadon crowd just a couple miles up the street. Mr. Paul was going to lose today, I was very certain of that. He could text the company updates all he wanted because I was certain his texts most likely read. "May day, May Day, Blaker209 is here with lil Paul and he's taking all our money. Hide the bills from the auditor before we all lose our jobs."
The arbitrator seemed to think that my $5,000.00 demand was a bit ludicrous. My ludicrous demand was countered by a ludicrous offer.
"Two hundred and sixty eight dollars." She said matter-of- factly.
I chuckled. This was evidently some kind of joke. This was Mr. Paul being Mr. Paul. I was quite certain the corporate attorney had only learned as of today details of the case as to what was going on. Mr. Paul was trying to worm his way out of this one so he could get back to his comfy Operations Manager desk and get back to eating that big triple decker sandwich from Wendy's. We were very much inching our way towards the lunch hour and my case was supposed to be at 8:30am.
"I, I'm sorry mam but I'm very adamant about $5,000.00."
The arbitrator still tried. I could tell she was sensing I was quite serious. I couldn't do anything with $268.00 and I was so traumatized that it had reached this level I wasn't even going to settle for $4,999.99 to keep this case out of court.
The lady in the yellow dress just looked at me. "They're not going to offer anything like that. You won't get an offer like that today."
I stared at that beautiful yellow dress of hers. I really wished I had Mr. Ed my therapy horsey stick with me today. A couple pokes with Mr. Ed and I just might talk these people into five thousand bucks. I knew they were good for it. Bunny had told me so. But this mighty fine yellow dress soaking up the atmosphere? Gravitated my mind towards the Kentucky Derby. I abruptly changed the subject and showed off the very thing I was good at. Horsey Talk. I pointed towards the 2014 KY derby on my net graph. It was the biggest line on my graph. The tweeting tweeter guy was still off to the side spying on us so I lifted the graph from the table so he could see it as well. There was nothing more I could do at this point but kill time so I started my little game of show and tell. Mr. Paul had already wasted plenty of "MY" time so why not waste "Theirs" by running them around in little circles with Horsey talk.
"I nailed the trifecta in 2014 you know when I just started with Celadon." I said.
The lady in the yellow dress just smiled. "Oh that's nice."
I continued. "Did you know that ever since Orb won in 2013 where Tom Brady wagered $4,000 on it and turned it into $28,000.00 the last minute favorite horse has always won the Kentucky Derby?"
She smiled a little more as if I was suddenly piquing her interest. Here I was in a courthouse supposed to be arbitrating and I was flirting with a lady in a yellow dress showing off my horsey skills knowledge. I named off all the winning horses over the years at the KY Derby.
"Yeah I'm serious. In 2013 it was Orb, 2014 California Chrome, 2015 American Pharoah, 2016 Nyquist, 2017 Always Dreaming, and 2018 Justify. ALL of these horseys were favorites. That's quite a pattern don't you see?"
The arbitrator appeared confused. "See what?"
"Celadon purposely thwarted my horsey plans this year. I don't have a 401k. The horsey market IS MY 401k. These people costed me thousands of dollars by purposely making me home late to my home time for the big race. I had given them more than two weeks advance notice to get me home."
I could see the wheels turning in her head. I knew she was probably confused at this point. She most likely didn't know how the ponies worked and didn't fully fathom my financial detriment by the company not giving me adequate time to prepare for the horsey race. I consider myself a "Professional" horsey player. I knew that one day my nickname would eventually make it's way onto the big screen one of these years when those little jockeys cash in on their annual two minutes of nationwide fame. We would one day see on the big screen.
UNCLE B's PICKS.
I eventually got cut off with my horsey talk when my audience disappeared for a moment. The lady in the yellow dress finally approached me with a new notice of claims. She slid the paper towards me followed by the initial notice of claims I had filed months ago with the courts. I listened to her because she was a bona fide attorney. I had even insisted she open my letter I had received in the mail from the corporate attorney from Celadon. So much weird stuff had happened since I reported an August 25th home invasion where my receipts had suddenly disappeared then reappeared a couple days after I filed a police report. I was under a psychotic episode because letters I was trying to mail to Mr. Spencer Cohn were being returned to me with red letters stamped "RTS" which evidently stood for return to sender. If that weren't weird enough it was hard to mail Spencer stuff in the first place as I believed I was being stalked by Farmer Johns hard core Republican thugs taunting me with big hitched up Ford F-350s that polluted the atmosphere at 8mpg. It was all incredibly weird.
The arbitrator looked at me with very serious eyes. She pushed my initial notice of claims towards me. "Let me tell you something. I can fix this for you but you're gonna have to fill out a new notice of claims for the judge."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because you have listed on your spread sheet they owe you
$1687.56 but your notice of claims says they only owe you
$818.71. You can't exceed what you have listed on your claim."
I chuckled. "Oh."
She tried to help me. "Are you sure you want to change you're notice of claim? Because I'm letting you know if you lose you cannot go back to your initial notice of claim."
Oh shit. I thought to myself, This is quite a gamble I got going on here. A chance to double down? Lose the hearing and be out $818.71 by taking a crack at $1687.56? Why the hell not? I'm a gambler!
"Give me the new notice of claims paper." I insisted. "You sure you wanna do this? Because if you lose "
"Yeah I'm sure I can prove $1687.56. You see the initial notice of claims is old and I continued to find more money that they owe. They technically owe even a few more hundred than that but I don't have irrefutable proof so I put $1687.56 on the spread sheet."
The lady was no longer smiling. She was looking at me as though I had just lost by doubling down. She slid the paper towards me to fill out. I put the new amount on the line at $1687.56 and scrawled in Mr. Paul as the defendant. The arbitrator stopped me.
"No, no you can't do that. As part of this amending agreement you need to list Celadon as the defendant."
"Why? That's a company not a person?" I said. "Just trust me. Put down Celadon Trucking."
I did as the lady instructed me to do. My patience was wearing thin but it was still a learning experience. I now know for the future not to ask more than the notice of claims or I will look foolish. The bailiff finally came over towards us.
"Are you guys done working things out so we can see the judge? The judge is ready for us now." He said while holding a door open.
The arbitrator grabbed the new notice of claims form and looked at me.
"Are you ready to do this because we are running out of time."
"Yeah, yeah I'm ready. Just give me a minute to put away all these folders back in my suitcase."
I frantically tried to put all 25 manilla folders into chronological order so I could hopefully compress a two hour presentation into ten minutes before a judge. It was all part of my plan. Take your enemy by surprise I knew that if I whipped the papers out fast enough the corporate attorney would be taken off guard and surrender. I was getting my five thousand bucks one way or another that I had insisted upon. I was quite certain the corporate attorney was not prepared for me today as I had the upper hand by being unemployed with all the time in the world to work this case. Victory was going to be mine today.
Before long we all stood in a now very depleted courtroom. I didn't like that my audience had gone home for the day. Even Mr. Paul's rental friends had abandoned him and took off for lunch. The judge quickly came out still wearing that black robe. We all stood up and I patiently waited for the judge to speak first. I saw him leafing through some papers.
The corporate attorney finally spoke. "You're honor I have filed a motion to have Paul dismissed as a defendant. We have agreed that this is not a personal debt but rather a debt within the company therefore my client cannot be held accountable for this debt."
I was taken aback. Almost 90% of my case was about Mr. Paul dicking me around. The voicemail, tons of emails promising to fix, could this corporate attorney just wipe out my Queen like this so early in the game?
The judge looked over at me. "Can we agree to that Mr. Steidler?"
I hemmed and hawed a bit. Technically the lawyer was correct. This debt would not in fact come out of Mr. Paul's pocket. I already knew from the door that the phalanx of witches at Celadon had Mr. Paul wrapped around their little finger tips. I was never really trying to aim at Paul in the first place as they had him more docile than an ugly dog finally getting adopted from a grisly shelter in the bad lands. I wanted to have the witch hunt continued! I wanted to know which wicked witch of the Midwest was hiding behind Mr. Paul! Who was the guilty culprit that incessantly tinkered with my paycheck each week?
"Yes your honor that is in fact correct. I'm more interested in knowing who really was responsible for this debt."
The judge scratched his forehead quickly as if his interest was now piqued as well. "So we were not able to work this out today is that correct?"
"Correct your honor."
Honorable Judge Graves went for his pen and began writing things down. I was no dumb ass nor was the older attorney my brother had warned me about. I could still hear in the back of my mind what my brother once told me. It's the older attorneys that always win all the cases. If you need an attorney try to hire the oldest ones. They always seem to win!
Well I may only be 37 but I've spent a lot of time with my 84 year old Pop Pop. So much time that I've learned to mirror his idiosyncrasies. I can walk slow like Pop Pop. I can talk slow like Pop Pop. And even if I wanted to as well, I could put on an old man facade and pretend like I was too old to hear! I was in fact an actor on the side as well and had auditioned for the BETRAYED movie filmed in Pontiac MI. I could see to it that this young judge would have TWO old birds quibbling it out right in his courtroom. And if that wasn't enough? The Hat!
Don't forget who's got the SteamPunk hat!
As the judge started writing down things both me and the corporate attorney were smart enough not to interrupt him as he jotted down some notes.
He finally looked up. "I can reschedule this for a trial where you can have an hour and a half to two hours to present your case Mr. Steidler will that work for you?"
"Thank you your honor." I said.
The Judge looked over at Mr. Dennis, Paul's company hired attorney.
"How about December 3rd? Will that date work for you?"
Mr. Dennis just gaped in shock. There evidently was something big already planned for that particular date.
"Your honor. I have vacation planned for that day."
The Judge looked at me gaping as well. That really was quite a while from today. I needed my money now. Not another couple months from now. I was ready to quibble in the courtroom today. Was it my fault that they weren't ready for me today? Had not enough time already passed?
The judge looked at me. "Mr. Steidler?"
"I uh... Honestly your honor. I'm currently working at a pizza shop. I'm most likely going to be driving truck again by then and won't be able to get that day off."
"Okay." Said the Judge, "I understand because of the snow and everything. You live quite a distance from here don't you Mr. Steidler?"
I nodded. "Yes your honor. Did the whole trip by personal vehicle. Drove over 600 miles to be here today."
"Okay." Said the Judge, "I guess we can handle this sooner. Will October 29th work for you?"
"Yes your honor."
The Judge continued to be polite. This was technically "My" show after all. I'm the one that paid the court filing fees to check out all these folding tables and folding chairs. I had taken Spencer's advice by not leaking details to the Judge Mathis show to keep them guessing that I might have a doozy of a case worth hearing on television that they could pay me a lot of money for. I was always a big Judge Mathis fan and found him people smart and his rulings fair. Judge Mathis was a lot like Judge Judy and very hard to BS.
The Judge continued. "Should we try for 08:30am again?" "I honestly judge I'm more on point during noon hours.
I work second shift at the pizza shop and my body is geared towards second shift."
" Okay that's fine. About 1:30pm should be good?" I nodded. "That would be great your honor."
I managed to sneak a quick peek towards my left at Mr. Paul. He was sitting in that chair letting the corporate attorney talk for him but I couldn't see a clear picture of his facial expressions just yet. I peeked down a little lower and had a sudden flashback of my very first dispatcher back when I drove the little box trucks in 2013 Matt S. Paul evidently had one of those poochy things going on like comic book guy from the Simpsons! This was downright funny! I tried to keep a straight face as we were in a courtroom. Would I get one of those Kangaroo poochy things one day too from sitting on my ass all day long? Should I maybe put the pens,papers, and ink cartridges away for a while and step on treadmill before people portray me as Captain Kangaroo?
The Judge continued. "Okay then. We agree for a trial on October 29th. I've amended this notice of claims and this courtroom is adjourned."
I knew I would get one last sneaky Pete chance to glance at Mr. Paul before we would meet again next month on the 29th. To my surprise Mr. Paul was no longer gloating. There was redness of guilt in his eyes like a look of sudden defeat. I hadn't won nor lost today so why was Mr. Paul looking so glum?
I tried to play back in my mind the long meeting Mr. Paul had with the corporate attorney behind closed doors. Laughter had at one point erupted but had the corporate attorney abruptly change the topic during their meeting causing Mr. Paul to lose the giggles? What had gotten spoken about in there? Was the attorney super smart to recognize the money and time I had invested into this case and had to paint a better picture for Mr. Paul?
As I cruised along I-70 making the long 650 mile journey home empty handed I began to giggle out loud. I may not be bringing any money home today and I was at loss by calling off work for two days at the pizza shop but success had still fallen my way on this push. Earlier today during the case the corporate attorney had requested that I mail the courts a discovery. I was sure to state in the courtroom that months ago I had already asked Celadon if they wanted a discovery and was still vehemently stone walled. A discovery is basically all the evidence you have against the defendant.
I giggled to myself some more as I got in the left hand land and slowly eased past a tractor trailer governed at only 63mph. I may not have brought home any money today but technically I was in a win - win situation from here on out. An attorney practicing law for as long as Mr. Dennis has been doing would surely be followed by quite a substantial bill now that the case had turned into a full fledged trial. But that wasn't what had me giggling the most.
What had me giggling the most was knowing that most attorneys charge by the hour which could equal quite a lot of dough that Celadon would have to pay for. But what was REALLY the funniest part in all of this?
Could I possibly find a box big enough to mail them the discovery?