CHAPTER 31
(A Hot Day In Richmond VA)
07-12-2018
Celadon fulfilled their end of the bargain by issuing me another tractor to drive. I was elated that just a couple days ago I was FINALLY able to have a very long phone chat with the operations manager so we could be on the same page. It was Thursday and I was expecting a VERY LARGE PAYCHECK. Most of this large paycheck was to consist of retroactive owed wages that was agreed to be back paid. In addition to the verbal agreement via telephone Mr.Paul agreed that THE VERY FIRST LOAD would have me routed back to the house so I could get the rest of my much needed trucking gear. But would all of these promises be fulfilled or had I weeks ago made an egregious error by interrupting "Mr.Paul's" big Wendy's sand which break?
Tractor 549412 was nice and clean inside but that meant nothing to a trucker like me. I needed a truck immune to their "Peek-A-Boo" system. I needed a tractor that couldn't be dictated by my bosses bosses that hid behind the curtains while me, "The Big Show" was in progress. Evidently the company knew what I needed and fooled me quite well with a tractor I felt was suiting my needs.
Meanwhile ONE HOUR OF IDLING
This all felt too surreal. Tractor 549412 had the same security coded black box like 549797 yet THIS one actually wasn't shutting off. Four damn years of driving and I FINALLY get a truck where I'M in control! I thought to myself. But was I really in control? Was God in control or had Celadon still felt the need to play God?
It was nice finally having a tractor that didn't shut off every four minutes as humans have been known to die being left in hot cars. Sure you could try rolling down the windows if you didn't mind bees, wasps, and ticks having their way with you. Everything with tractor 549412 was checking out okay but I still had a problem on my hands. I had checked online tomorrow's paycheck and not only did the company not have any intentions of paying back all the owed money, one of my imaginary wives in the payroll had the audacity to take out for a $350.00 cash advance that I had never collected. I knew it wasn't a minor Freudian Slip because my online pay stub showed it contained Purchase Order numbers along with it showing that it had been picked up somewhere. How could someone not have done this on purpose? I thought to myself, Why do these witches bask and revel in their glory by HARRASSING my paychecks? Do they really think they have the legal right to prep me for marriage?
Things in Richmond Virginia had been weird all day but if truth be told over the years I have grown inure to this immature harassment. My initial 2014 trainer warned me upfront before I entered the trucking industry that I would get screwed with. It took me back to the time I had my psychologist of two years that NEVER laughed falling into a Full fledged LMFAO when I told David Earhart that I was so frustrated with my short comings in life I may as well get a tattoo on my forehead that reads "SUCKER". Sure my joke had some humor but I had never seen David busting up like that. His laughter was too out of his regular chuckle norm that I became even more worried than I already was. Was the joke so funny because it was true? Was every 20 year old sandwich artist girl out there going to try to short chump me five bucks making change on a twenty?
Had I spent enough time with David that he could see the world through my eyes finally?
My years of FEDERALLY MANDATED PSYCHOTHERAPY had some very unusual moments. One of the counselors not assigned to me often had to pass me in the lobby area. I knew that HIPPA was one big funny jokes as that young Chicky Momma always used to drop me hints that it wasn't just the people in the White House engaging in one big pissing contest with all those CNN leaks it was happening in PA counseling center as well. I knew there was some Wiki leaks going on because EVERY time the unassigned counselor passed me she made a point of flipping up her Manila folder over the side of her face like a flag on a mailbox so I couldn't accuse her of monitoring my thoughts. I knew there was some wiki leaks in there and once I had even caught a bumper crop of those college credentialed counselors playing a good ole fashion game of "Grab Ass" behind closed doors.
Things on July 12th had been weird since the moment I pulled into the Richmond terminal. I was not surprised in the least when the "Out Of Order" was hung on the door of the shower room. In the six months I had worked for this company NOT ONCE had the company complimentary truck wash been open for me in both the Indy and Laredo terminal. Reindeer games I liked to call them. Except I was no forgiving TURN THE OTHER CHEEK RUDOLPH!
As if the reindeer games weren't enough, I was curious why my dispatcher took over three hours to answer me about a missing $100 in layover pay. But that wasn't the weird part. I of course get ignored all the time. The REALLY weird part was how Celadon was evidently able to Edward Snowden like control MSN mail! I was quite certain my initial email pay stub I had read for tomorrow's pay had showed $317. When I reopened it three hours later it now read $340. How was the company able to rescind emails and edit them? Had this multi million if not billion dollar company partnered with MSN where they could manipulate emails ALREADY sent? Was it time for me to watch the Edward Snowden movie? Had the PEEK-A-BOOS toyed with me enough over the years that I was now harboring their deep dark "Peek-A-Boo" secrets?
My tractor continued to idle and my very first load assignment for my new tractor finally beeped on my Qualcomm. It was for a load that needed to be picked up way far south and wasn't headed anywhere close to PA so I could get the rest of my stuff. Much of the stuff was imperative so if they didn't route me home pronto I would be forced to re-purchase much needed trucking gear. Those brooms were almost $25.00 at the truck stops. It couldn't be any more clear my company was trying to bankrupt me. If that wasn't bad enough after I hooked up to a trailer in their lot I noticed my new tractor had a flat tire! How was this even possible? Hadn't it JUST been inspected two hours ago by their mechanics. And another ongoing issue that had my shorts in a bunch? CELADON STAFF REFUSED TO SIGN MY TRUCK RECOVERY PAPERS.
I tried desperately to keep my composure. It was mid July and hotter than our President's Federal tax returns. I tried to think positive as I was already having some second thoughts about accepting Lisa's job offer at Big G Express because one of their disabled drivers had given me a dirty look at a Petro weeks ago which had me utterly confused. I liked my dispatcher but this incessant needling from the payroll/mechanics was just pushing it too far. I inhaled. I exhaled. I inhaled yet once again. Then exhaled.
And right then and there that's when Sell-A-Ding-Dong showed me who's REALLY in control of that truck!
The moment I hit the send button complaining about the harassment my truck shut off!
It was like I could feel the funny man controlling my tractor from far, far away. Did they not like my free-form message?
The super hot Simoom and sirocco winds began to immediately penetrate through the molding in the door. I knew I had better quickly put the pen down from writing the load assignment and re-start tractor 549412 if I wanted to survive.
Sure enough the tractor fired up and the AC kicked back on. I passed it off in my big massive brain that the truck shutting off was only a fluke. Surely it would continue to idle for an hour like it had done earlier?
FOUR MINUTES LATER
THE damn truck shut off once again right in front of my face. I could literally FEEL the perpetrator mechanic from far, far away giggling up a storm. Tormenting me like I was some kind of newly discovered daddy long legger and he had the right to tear my legs off one by one. Seven legs torn off with one last leg to stand on!
I started the tractor up ONE MORE TIME.
TWO MINUTES LATER
THIS time I couldn't even get my official four minutes of air! 549412 shut off before I could even enter the pickup address into my new wife Samantha. (Celadon authorized the kidnapping of my previous wife Jill at the J-Hooks lot).
I had had enough. The stolen paychecks were one thing but now safety had become a factor. I would need sleep eventually if I wanted to be a safe driver. I had witnessed numerous amounts of serious crashes along the highways from those Grid Iron Express boys (Western Express) trying to go all out with running and gunning to get those lofty paychecks to make payments for their parole officers so the courthouses could buy new flower pots while the rest of the world spiked their blood pressure with 1200 mg sodium crackhead ten cent soups so lofty medical bills could get tacked to those Trumped up fines.
I managed to wipe away just enough sweat from my brow so that I could finally see the Qualcomm to resend them my resignation that I had already submitted weeks ago.
"I've had enough of this HARRASSMENT. I QUIT!"