Black Sun by Clifford Beck - HTML preview

Chapter 20

The morning sun arrived as a long sliver of pale light, illuminating the floor beneath the storeroom door. Ryan was suddenly jolted from sleep by a pain in his neck, the result of drifting off in a sitting position. Looking around, he saw the vague shapes of boxes, both large and small, scattered around in front of him. He was not a man of faith, but a string of ancient words appeared in his mind. ‘And behold, there was light.’ Yet, the words themselves meant nothing in comparison to the relief he felt at seeing what had been a broad expanse of nothingness filled with enough light to reveal the material world. It had been there all along but now, lay powerless against his far less fearful mind. Getting to his feet, Ryan felt the first shooting pain of cramped muscle dart up through his neck. Turning and twisting, he worked the kinks out of his back, hearing an audible series of pops and cracks work their way out of his spine. Once he was completely upright, his eyes followed the stream of light that lead to where the door met the cold linoleum floor. The doorknob was in plain view as a reflection from the floor cast a faint hint of light from beneath it, creating a shadowy marker of its location.

Inching up to the door, Ryan put an ear to the narrow crack between the door’s edge and its wooden frame and, holding his breath, tried to pierce the emptiness that lay just on the other side. Hearing nothing, he let out a sigh of relief yet, he still had to open the door and in spite of the silence, he knew that anything or anyone could still be waiting. He put a hand on the doorknob while glancing back at Abigail, who sat sleeping with her side against the wall, curled up in a protective ball. With his suspicion peaking, Ryan slowly turned the knob until he felt its latch release. Now came the moment he had been dreading as he pulled gently, Ryan opened the door a hair’s breadth at a time until a narrow shaft of light shown through, illuminating the globe of his cautious, yet inquisitive eye. Again, he let out another sigh as the last wave of tension left his body. But, this was only the beginning. If they were to continue on to Albany, they had to leave and this meant going out, once again, into the unknown, into a place where every conceivable threat hung over their heads with unrelenting determination. However, Ryan would have to overcome one important hurdle. He would have to convince Abigail that it was safe to continue, and after the events of the previous night, he was not entirely certain that her mind would allow her to leave.

Opening the door by several more inches, Ryan peered around the edge of the door frame. The morning provided a pale orange light, igniting the glass fragments that had been strewn across the floor. For a moment, he allowed himself to get caught up in a moment that could only be defined as magical as his eyes became transfixed on the sparkling glimmer of the tiny random particles of light. At any other time, Ryan would have seen so much more beauty in the sight that lay just beyond the storefront. But the grace of this accidental artwork was more than offset by what had created it and recovering himself back to the moment, he saw the need to continue, still with great caution.

Looking back at Abigail again, Ryan thought that it would take no time to investigate beyond the storeroom door, just to see what damage had been done. They still required supplies, and Ryan needed to know if last night’s visitors had taken anything that might be important to their continued journey. He opened the door just enough to slip through, but as Ryan quietly pulled it shut, he realized a terrifying fact. As they sat drowsing in the dark, the door to the storeroom had been unlocked. Anyone could have walked in while they slept, and the consequences of such carelessness would have been fatal. However, Ryan would not breathe a word of his mistake to Abigail, preventing her from losing her trust in him.

The door closed silently as Ryan turned the knob, making sure that its latch remained open and not in contact with the door frame. Only then would he slowly release the doorknob. Not only did he want to avoid being heard by anyone who may still be about, but he didn’t want to wake Abigail until they were ready to collect what they needed. Now, he stood looking out through the store. Nothing had been taken, but the floor was covered with sharp fragments of glass that popped and crackled underfoot. Step-by-step, Ryan made his way to the store’s entrance, and peering around the stainless steel frame, looked for any sign that the vandals may still be somewhere in the mall. He walked out into the hallway and, stopping in the middle, put an ear to the air. The only sound he heard was his blood coursing through the vessels in his neck, beating a quick rhythm in his ears. It was only moments before he decided that the visitors of the previous night had indeed left, perhaps out of boredom. Very likely, they had moved on to other places where other acts of destruction would be just as easy as smashing a window and probably just as satisfying. But now, there was work to do and with as much shelter as the mall provided, it also imposed more than a touch of madness, with its vast emptiness and dark, humid nights of isolation. The word ‘spooky’ would not begin to describe the feeling that had etched itself on Ryan’s brain, and he was more than certain that Abigail felt the same way.

Satisfied with his assessment, Ryan turned back to the store as he organized his thoughts for what they needed. He knew they couldn’t carry everything they wanted, so they would have to prioritize, taking only what was critical for their survival. But, as he turned to face the store’s entrance, what waited for him was startling enough to leave him light-headed. It was Abigail. She had the terrifying experience of waking up alone and in the dark, and was more than upset at being left to find her way out. “What the fuck is wrong with you!” she yelled. As certain as Ryan was that they were alone, he tried to calm her so as not to attract anyone who might still be somewhere nearby. “I know,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, but you have to be quiet.” Abigail was not impressed with Ryan’s concern for their safety as she was caught up in the very real fear of being abandoned and in her panic, she raised both hands and beat them on Ryan’s chest. “You just left me there in the dark!?” she continued. “You know how I feel about being left alone! Why did you fucking leave me?!”

Ryan waited for her to exhaust herself before explaining his reason for stepping out.

“Abby,” he began. “Please, listen. I would never leave you. I promise. But, I had to find out if anyone was still here, and I would rather have faced them alone, rather than take the chance that you might get hurt. I had to check to see if they were gone, okay? I promise I will never leave you.”

Fear mixed with exhaustion as Abigail's eyes teared up. She realized that her reaction had been brought on by the terror of waking in dark isolation and letting her panic subside, looked into Ryan’s remorseful eyes. He thought he’d only be a few minutes in his investigation and did not expect Abigail to wake so soon. He not only understood her reaction but felt that he deserved to be on the receiving end of her anger, having promised her, at another time, that he would never abandon her. Now, with her anger having dissipated, Abigail stood in front of him with guilty eyes. After having beaten him on the chest, she suddenly feared that he would walk away, leaving her behind to face the world alone. But, the cruelty of abandoning her, or anyone else, was not a quality Ryan possessed and the painful expression on her face acted to further bind them. But as her guilt mounted, Abigail stepped closer as tears ran down her face. She needed to be sure that he would always be there for her, that she would never again wake up alone, discovering that he was gone forever. “Ryan,” she began.

She reached up and, gently clutching his shirt, pulled him in and placed a soft, warm kiss on his neck. “I’m sorry,” she continued. “I guess I kind of lost it, didn’t I? I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me?”

A moment of hesitation passed as Ryan relaxed at the sound of her voice and the nearness of her body.

“Of course, I forgive you,” he replied. He brought up his hands and wrapped his arms around her, letting her feel the warm comfort of true forgiveness. Her tears went from a trickle to a torrent as Abigail cried on his shoulder. However, these were no longer tears of pain or anger, but of joy and relief. Before the sun had blackened the world, she thought that, maybe someday, she might find a man who would care for her in the face of whatever life threw at her. Now, as the end of the world lay before them, she had found the person she had always wished for. He was far from Prince Charming. This she had always taken to be a fallacy, but he was kind, understanding and put her safety above his own, and this was more than enough.

Their embrace seemed to go forever and given the circumstances, they somehow managed to lose themselves in that one irretrievable moment. But reality soon leaped out from the darkness as both realized that they were still surrounded by dimly lit isolation. Looking around at the destruction of the previous night, they both felt the need to quickly make their out and continue to Albany. Yet upon discussion, there was something else, the feeling that if they didn’t encounter any more trouble, the mall could be safer than continuing on to a place that would likely be far more dangerous. But, between the mall’s unlit interior, its unbearable silence and the lack of friendly faces, they decided that the best thing to was to pack what they carry and keep moving. With this decision, Abigail also expressed her need to be back in a familiar place and that not all of Albany was dangerous. However, Ryan knew from having seen the condition that Troy had been left in, that Albany would likely be in a similar state.

Unlocking themselves from each other's embrace, they walked back into the store and began searching for what they needed. Large objects would be broken down into smaller sizes for the sake of conserving weight, but Ryan had also developed a mental list of items he felt were crucial to their survival. Having found himself sitting in complete darkness during the previous night, he had taken the opportunity to organize his thoughts. He also began to catalog the items he felt they required most – freeze-dried food, water filters, extra clothes, a first aid kit, cooking supplies as well as a modest survival kit. He also decided that it would be reasonable for each of them to carry pepper spray. The sound of a gunshot could easily bring unwanted attention, but the quiet hiss of a small can of pepper spray would go largely unnoticed. The unexpected appearance of trouble would be quickly brought to the ground and rendered harmless.

Within the space of an hour, Ryan and Abigail had packed what they needed, including the bottles of water they had retrieved from the mall’s CVS. Now, in the haze of the early morning light, they left the mall and, once again, headed towards the Albany skyline. It was early enough that, if necessary, they could hide in the shadows and go relatively unnoticed. But the sanctuary they approached was also a place that inspired their fear. Albany, once a thriving metropolis, was dead, replaced by block after block of empty shells, haunted by the barely living and the rotting dead. They each had their fears. For Ryan, it was the dead. He was completely unaccustomed to the sight of death, and the injuries he had seen left his stomach turning, in spite of his best effort to remain strong. Abigail, however, feared both the living and the dead. Also, ignorant to the sight of death, the impression left on her was one of shock. Especially striking was the grimace left on the faces of the dead, the open eyes, the slightly open mouth smile as if heaven itself had opened before them, displaying all its rewards before their unblinking eyes. Then, there was pain. Some appeared to have been conscious long enough to feel the damage that had been done by the devices they had come to be so dependent on. They lay sprawled on the ground or sat quietly behind the wheel with wide eyes and open mouths, their faces twisted into a cast of pain and confusion. Amongst the living, Abigail feared them all, knowing what people were capable of. Now that the world appeared to have come crashing down, the idea of a civilized society had vanished into a vague memory. Those still left had either become recreational murderers, victims, or survivors, determined to live out their days away from the new culture of desperation, the weak falling victim to the strong. But, it could be said that the promise of survival would be held out like an olive branch to only one breed of people. Those who could hold themselves together in the face of catastrophe were intelligent enough to be truly resourceful, to fight off the animals that were once human. But for Abigail, there was only one person she would trust, and he had repeatedly promised to always be by her side, no matter what difficulties befell them. All others would never be trusted, and she would consider each to be as dangerous as any hardened criminal.

Crossing route five, Ryan and Abigail continued towards Albany. With every step, it seemed to get larger until standing a few miles from the Pine Bush Preserve, it loomed over them with eyes of warning, as if to stare them down, to frighten them into fleeing. But they stood fast against the monster, partly out of defiance, partly out of the desperation of having nowhere else to go but what was familiar. Ryan turned to Abigail with a question of why she wanted to go to Albany in the first place. “So,” he began. “Do you really think an ounce of weed is worth all this trouble?”

Throughout their journey, she’d had time to consider the very same question and had no doubt that her nerves needed its fragrant, soothing aroma. But perhaps, she had been somewhat short-sighted, believing that her need for serenity was her only priority. Now, she realized that Albany was far more than a small apartment where she studied and lit her mind ablaze, elevating herself into the non-cerebral. It was now a place of infinite resources and taking up residence in the right place. It would also become a much-needed shelter from the storm of a different kind of war, a campaign pitting intellect against ruthlessness in an ongoing fight to live, as all things have the right to.

Abigail was slow in her response, having hesitated long enough to think about where she had been as opposed to where she now found herself.

“Well,” she replied. “I suppose it’s not really that important, but I’ve got to tell you, it sure wouldn’t fuckin’ hurt right about now.” Although Ryan had never been one to partake in the unearthly pleasure of smoking marijuana, he completely understood her desire to use it, letting his only response emerge as a slight grin. But, they still had a considerable distance to walk and studying the city, both became keenly aware that the true dangers of their journey now lay within its borders. However, as fear, again, raised its head, it was Abigail who decided to break the mounting tension and touching him on the arm, joked with him about her anticipated step off the edge of reality.

“So,” she began. “You ever tried it?” His concentration broken by her unexpected question, Ryan turned to her with a hesitant response.

“Uh, no,” he answered. “I’ve never really thought about it.” She wasn’t sure why, but somehow, Abigail didn’t expect him to be the kind of person who might occasionally participate in the procuring of a good buzz. Yet, Albany still stood before them, grinning with foreknowing at what lay ahead, fully aware that their journey would only be temporary. The forces that lay beyond their control waited to carry out their exile with the cruelty of an angry God.