Anthology Complex V by M.B. Julien - HTML preview
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M.B. Julien
Volume 2 - Composition 2
(2:2 / 5 / V)
Part 5
M.B. JULIEN
Chapter 41
SNOWY PASTURES
2:2:5:41
ACT I
SCENE I - A blizzard in the middle of winter during the night time and on a dark road
♪ And take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind
♪ Down the foggy ruins of time
♪ Far past the frozen leaves
♪ The haunted, frightened trees
♪ Out to the windy beach
♪ Far from the twisted reach
♪ Of crazy sorrow
♪ Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free
♪ Silhouetted by the sea
♪ Circled by the circus sands
♪ With all memory and fate
♪ Driven deep beneath the waves
♪ Let me forget about today
♪ Until tomorrow
Michelle was completely lost as she drove down a road she had never been on before.
She could barely see in front of her, passing by signs until finally she came to a detour.
The turn easily made her even more lost than she was already, and the snow just kept on falling down onto the land wet and heavy.
Michelle Erin: I can't see a thing! I have to get warm! I've got to find a town or something and get out of this crazy storm...
After driving for a few more miles, Michelle saw what she believed to be a sign to the entrance of a town, but the sign was buried in snow in the form of a mound.
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SCENE II - Foster Residence
♪ Dear Erin
♪ I hope you're well and what you've done is right
♪ Oh it's been such hell
♪ I wish you well and hope you're safe tonight
♪ It's been a long day coming and long will it last
♪ When it's last day leaving, and I'm helping it pass
♪ By loving you more
Michelle Erin: Is that a house over there in the distance? Maybe someone is home and will give me assistance...
Michelle drove over to the home, standing all alone with only a gnome, and then knocked on its door. No one answered at first, but suddenly it peaked open a short and angry old man.
Michelle Erin: Hi. I am lost. I don't know where I am. My name is Michelle, can you help me Mr. Sam?
Old Man Sam: Look, girl! Get off my property! 'Fore I get my shotgun and saw you off properly!
Michelle became very afraid of the old man's demeanor and left abruptly, but the blizzard became stronger and she could not find her car. Instead, she continued to walk down the icy road, thinking about where she was and how she was going to get home.
SCENE III – Town Library
♪ He seemed impressed by the way you came in.
♪ "Tell us a story, I know you're not boring."
♪ I was afraid that you would not insist.
♪ "You sound so sleepy, just take this, now leave me."
♪ I said please don't slow me down.
♪ If I'm going too fast.
♪ You're in a strange part of our town...
Michelle Erin: This storm is relentless, I can't see anything but white. How do people 2 | SNOWY PASTURES
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even live here? It gets so cold at night... I hope Scoot is well fed, and resting in bed, he was in so much pain when I left because he hurt his head while I read. I hope he didn't eat my new cookbook, I want to make that peach pie with that plump look! Mom and dad will be surprised when they see my new talents, surely, then, they will have to raise my allowance!
Just then, in the white distance, a building began to take form in the storm, maybe this was a place Michelle Erin could become warm. She walked into the library, and the place was filled with people, though in a moment or two they would all be leaving as the library was closing.
Lilith the Librarian: Howdy, if you're new, the bathroom is along this wall, it's perpendicular. Otherwise, are you looking for a book in particular?
Michelle Erin: No... I'm lost. Can you tell me where I am?
Lilith the Librarian: You don't know where you are? Why, you're in! … Hmm, no, that's just too far.
The librarian went through stacks of papers as she was unsure of the town's location, and mysteriously, she could not find any papers with any addresses, and this was, indeed, a strange provocation.
Lilith the Librarian: I'm not sure what to do, the best I can offer is to call the police for you.
Deputy Krauser: Lilith, what was that you said? Does someone need assistance from Big Ted?
Lilith the Librarian: (laughing) Yes, silly, this girl is lost and all alone, can you take her to the police station so she can use a phone?
Deputy Krauser: You know I'd do anything for you, Lilith, apple of my eye in...
Ted Krauser's radio then signed off, his precinct alerting him of possible bandits in the town, but he was fearless in front of Lilith, so he shrugged it off without a sound. He put his arm around Michelle and walked her out to his vehicle, and as she left, she saw a sign on the ceiling she had not seen before.
“Almost we are persuaded that there is something, after all, something essential, waiting for all of us in the dark areas of the world, and originally loathsome, immeasurable, and certainly, nameless.”
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SCENE IV – A curved road with a cliff on its side, inside Big Ted's vehicle
♪ Each one with the money in their pocket
♪ Could go out and buy themself a brand new car
♪ But they all held the money they had
♪ Money they hoped would take them very far
♪ The sky was bright, a traffic light, now and then a truck
♪ And they hadn't seen a cop around all day, what luck
♪ They brought everything they needed
♪ Bags and scales to weigh the stuff
♪ The driver said the border's just over the bluff
Deputy Krauser: You have two first names? Were your parents lames?
Michelle Erin: No...
Deputy Krauser: Do you prefer Erin or Michelle? Or is that a difference you cannot tell?
Michelle Erin: I much prefer Michelle over Erin, Michelle was my grandmother's name and she was from Bebarron.
Deputy Krauser: Okay, Michelle wins, you can call me Ted, wait, what... Is this where the road ends or where it begins?
The two had driven into an area of the town where the road came to a dead end, and immediately Michelle remembered that this was the exact place she was when she took the detour earlier in the night. Ted, confused, went to the trunk of his car to retrieve his map of the town, but returned even more puzzled, as he could not find it and for some reason could not remember the name of the town he policed. Sitting there, thinking hard for a moment, he reversed the car and suddenly the route to the police station took hold in his mind.
Deputy Krauser: Okay, okay, it's coming back to me now, I remember which way to go and I remember how.
As they drove towards the station, a slow driving black car almost brushed sides with them. Inside there were three men and a woman, covered in black from head to toe and then back to head again.
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SCENE V – Town Police Station
♪ Home, home again
♪ I like to be here when I can
♪ When I come home cold and tired
♪ It's good to warm my bones beside the fire
♪ Far away, across the field
♪ The tolling of the iron bell
♪ Calls the faithful to their knees
♪ To hear the softly spoken magic spell
Deputy Krauser: We almost got lost! I almost hit a bin! Just ask the girl! Her name's Erin!
Michelle Erin: It's true, it's true. It's terrible out there. It's cold and dark and snowy, I'm just glad to be in here where there is warm air.
Sheriff Doug: Well, it's good to know that you are safe. Let's get you a form and some tea from the cafe.
Michelle filled out the form, providing her full identity. Michelle Erin, fourteen years of age, African-American, five foot five with a birthmark that was beige.
Sheriff Doug: Don't worry, we'll get you home before long, away from this blizzard storm. You'll be home again, where it's safe and warm.
Michelle Erin: ...I have a question, do you know Mr. Sam? He was the first person I ran into and he was mean like a bloodied clam.
Sheriff Doug: Mr. Sam? Oh, he's a real meanie. But don't mind him, he's harmless, it's the nice people you want to keep in your scenery.
After a moment, Douglas McCown could not find any information on Michelle Erin, and what's more, the database did not store any information on any town, not even his own. It was decided, after an hour of failure, that Michelle would temporarily be stored at a motel for the night and they would pick back up in the morning when hopefully the blizzard had subdued.
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ACT II
SCENE I - Hunter's Moon Motel
♪ For too long now, there were secrets in my mind
♪ For too long now, there were things I should have said
♪ In the darkness, I was stumbling for the door
♪ To find a reason, to find the time, the place, the hour
♪ Waiting for the winter Sun and the cold light of day
♪ The misty ghosts of childhood fears
♪ The pressure is building and I can't stay away
♪ I throw myself into the sea
♪ Release the wave
♪ Let it wash over me
♪ To face the fear I once believed
♪ The tears of the prisoner for you and for me
The motel was owned by husband and wife, but the couple was strange, indeed, and both lived an ironic life. The husband liked men and wife liked women, but neither knew this fact of the other for they lied from the beginning. They fibbed and fabbed to seem socially normal, and though they fought constantly, in the presence of guests they always appeared to be formal.
Luis the Husband: Hello! Welcome to the Hunter's Moon motel!
Lois the Wife: We are so glad you're here! We treat everyone well!
Michelle Erin: Hi, I need to stay here if that's all right. Deputy Ted drove me here just for the night.
Deputy Ted: (walking in) That's right, that's right, the station will pay the bill. Give the girl your finest room with the least amount of chill.
For the next ten minutes arrangements were made for Michelle, and she thought to herself, “What a fine motel.” She was brought and shown to her warm room, and the heater was already on, and soon after she was left alone in the room, everyone else was gone.
Not too long after, she went to the bathroom to wash her face, but in the corner she saw a sort of map, and it looked like it had a name to this place. At the top of the map was the 6 | SNOWY PASTURES
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name “Snowy Pastures,” and it had a view of the entire town, and its motto was “Terra Incognita.”
The strange map seemed to have a gray light on it, and everywhere she moved, the gray light followed. This told her that the map had a sort of censor, and wherever it was, it would know.
Intrigued, Michelle sat on the bed and looked all over the map, seeing a library, a beauty salon, a school, a cabin and much more. The location that stuck out most to her was named “Cardice,” and this was only a few yards from the Hunter's Moon Motel. For an unknown reason, Michelle could not fall asleep, and growing ever curious, she left the motel to visit Cardice.
SCENE II - Cardice Cemetery
♪ The dogs are howling at the midnight moon.
♪ I'm on my way to where the black rose blooms.
♪ The mountain's high, the night is cold.
♪ I feel the sunshine; a black rose grows.
♪ Together again, we're as common as sin, they say.
♪ We just walk around the stones they throw.
♪ Night after night, we steal away to where.
♪ Love don't see no colors in the shadows.
Michelle Erin: What a bitter cold wind, the worst I've ever experienced! It's a good thing I'm close though, only a few more yards until I'm there!
Suddenly, Michelle saw a grate, and she suspected the way to Cardice was just under this plate. She lifted it up, and a smell of death came from below, and though she was scared, her curiosity would only grow.
She climbed down the ladder into the darkness it carried, and finally touching down, there was no more snow, there were only things buried. She walked down the long way, brick walls on either side, to a place of mourning, for all those who have died.
Egor the Undertaker: Halt! Who has given you permission to enter this tomb? This is a place of peace for many to call home!
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Michelle Erin: I'm sorry, I'm lost, I didn't know where I was going. I'll leave immediately, surely I stumbled upon here only without knowing.
Egor the Undertaker: (examining Michelle) ...It's okay, you are just a girl. The dead will forgive you for intruding their world.
The living stood above the dead, and to eachother many words were said, and at some unmistakable hour the undertaker was rid of his dread. He had not seen a soul in years, but now someone had played the role of wiping away his invisible tears.
Egor the Undertaker: Haha! Let me guess, he threatened to saw you off properly?
Michelle Erin: Haha! Yes! Then I ran off his property!
Egor the Undertaker: That's Old Man Sam for you, always angry and gory.
Michelle Erin: Why is that? Does he have a story?
Egor the Undertaker: Girlfriend, sit down, make yourself right. I am going to tell you a tale of Sam's plight. Sam Foster was born without a penis, but at a young age he was deemed a genius. While all the other boys were poking the girls, he was all by his lonesome in a world of chocolaty vanilla swirls. His father owned the ice cream shop just down the way, and his mother, a criminal woman, was held in Ganigen Bay. So I guess you could say, raised primarily surrounded by ice, this cold town was a good fit for a person who wasn't very nice. After his father died, and his mother still locked away, he attempted to break her out of prison just before execution day. He failed, miserably, comically, but escaped authorities with artistic delusion, and today we guard his past as he lives with us in his own seclusion.
Michelle Erin: He has no penis? That's awful, I guess. They say the Lord works in mysterious ways, but sometimes it seems like it's just a mess!
Egor the Undertaker: ...Only those he loves does he bless...
Michelle Erin: Hey Egor, would you be so kind as to tell me the time?
Egor the Undertaker: It's just past midnight, when the town's border lights begin to shine.
SCENE III - Hunter's Moon Motel
♪ Plato's cave is full of freaks
♪ Demanding refunds for the things they've seen
♪ I wish they could believe
♪ In all the things that never made the screen
♪ And just slow down everyone
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♪ You're moving too fast
♪ Frames can't catch you when
♪ You're moving like that
After Michelle had left Cardice, she felt hungry and wondered about rice. She was entering the motel now, and at the front desk she saw the two sons of Luis and Lois, she greeted them, and them her, then passed by a flower that was bluish and lotish. On her way to her room, she saw Lilith in the distance, and Lilith walked to her with a face that was grimace.
Lilith the Librarian: Jesus! It's cold, I can feel breakage in my knee bone! Hey, you're still here? I thought they brought you home?
Michelle Erin: Nope. Hehe. I'm still here. They put me in this hotel, I mean motel, to wait for the snowstorm to clear.
Lilith the Librarian: Oh wow! Yay! That means I have a new neighbor! Would you like to come in? Tonight you can be my entertainment and savior!
Just then a town light rose green in the west, and a blue one, a red one, a yellow one, north south and east, all rose at behest. But who was giving the command, Michelle thought, so she asked her new friend Lilith, this question that she caught.
Michelle Erin: What are those lights rising at every which way? Has the town entered some holiday?
Lilith the Librarian: No, no, they go up each night honey, and boy are they beautiful, the yellow one is so sunny!
After talking this way of the prettiness of each light, Lilith agreed to take Michelle to the closest one tonight. And so they got in her car and began their tour, and in no time did they arrive at the blue light sight.
SCENE IV - Near a lake
♪ Bear paws and rascal power
♪ Watching us in your garage
♪ Little girl you ate the neighbor
♪ The nova is over
♪ Wake up and play
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♪ By the radio
♪ Make room for Erin's bare feet
♪ The love of a martian
♪ Tick tock and waiting for the meteor
♪ This clock is opening another door
♪ Blood flowers in the kitchen
♪ Signing off and winding down
♪ This martian ends her mission
♪ The nova is over
Lilith the Librarian: Each light is an exit to the outside of this place, this blue one leads to a lake that we all call Lake Lace. The yellow one leads out to a mountain, and the green one a forest, the red one is the least exciting, leading out to simply a field we call Tourist. It is most likely the path you took to get here, am I right?
Michelle Erin: I think you are, I don't remember a forest or a mountain or a lake, I just remember fields, which is probably why I got lost while I was eating some cake.
Lilith the Librarian: The forest is my favorite, but I've only been once in July. You see, I was born here, and I have never left, I don't know why.
SCENE V - Hunter's Moon Motel
♪ There's a feeling I get
♪ When I look to the west
♪ And my spirit is crying for leaving
♪ In my thoughts I have seen
♪ Rings of smoke through the trees
♪ And the voices of those who stand looking
♪ And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune
♪ Then the piper will lead us to reason
♪ And a new day will dawn
♪ For those who stand long
♪ And the forests will echo with laughter
Michelle Erin: Thank you so much for taking me to Lake Lace. Gee, I couldn't sleep all night, I tried my back, my side, even my face!
Lilith the Librarian: You can't sleep, too? I thought I was the only one. I can't sleep either unless it's under the morning Sun. In the night, I'd thought I'd slept, but I don't 10 | SNOWY PASTURES
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wake up refreshed. I only wake up more tired than when I laid down my head to rest. But tonight there is no fear, for I have you! Come into my room, we can talk all night, about that light that is so blue...
Inside, Michelle asked Lilith if she could use her telephone, she wanted to try one call to see if she could reach her mother, Shawnoan. And when she dialed the number, the phone began to ring clear, but suddenly there was a ringing in the sky, and there was a ringing in her ear.
Michelle Erin: Did you hear that ringing, it was so loud!
Lilith the Librarian: I didn't hear a thing, but I think I saw something move in that cloud!
They both went to the window and saw a cloud with no core, and it confused the both of them, for as it got closer, a lightning struck from it and hit the drug store.
ACT III
SCENE I - Town Drug Store
♪ On the hill the stuff was laced with kerosene
♪ But yours was kitchen-clean
♪ Everyone stopped to stare at your technicolor motor home
♪ Every A-Frame had your number on the wall
♪ You must have had it all
♪ You'd go to Snowy Pastures on a dare and you'd go it alone
♪ Could you live forever?
♪ Could you see the day?
♪ Could you feel your whole world fall apart and fade away?
When Lilith and Michelle arrived at the drug store, they found a shocking site. The automatic door was consistently going back and forth, slamming into the body of Simore Albrite. He had been knocked on conscious, still breathing in form, but his body was reaching hyperthermia because of the growing storm.
Lilith the Librarian: Quick, we've got to move his body to where there's heat, then call Ted and tell him about this situation at Simore's Drugs & Meat.
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Male Bandit 1: Hey lady, hold it right there! I've got a gun, she's got a knife, so don't you dare!
Male Bandit 2: Let's lock them in the store! We got what we came for, no need to puzzle up more!
Male Bandit 3: I'll take the girl, you take the lady. You guys, don't do anything stupid, and you'll survive this, maybe...
And in blitzing fashion, Lilith ran into the storm, and when Michelle saw the confusion on the female bandit's face, Michelle too blitzed into the storm in evasion. The female bandit, along with one of the male bandits, ran after Lilith, while the other two bandits chased after Michelle.
Michelle Erin: Heelloo!! Someone help mee! Heeellloooo! Is anyone there!!! Helloooo!
I'm being chased!! Please!! Someone must care!!!!
But no one came to help her, perhaps it was so that no one cared. And slowly, the bandits won in closing speed, until they snatched her by the neck to continue their deed.
SCENE II - Somewhere near the yellow mountain light
♪ Mirrors on the ceiling
♪ The pink champagne on ice
♪ And she said "We are all just prisoners here, of our own device"
♪ And in the master's chambers
♪ They gathered for the feast
♪ They stab it with their steely knives
♪ But they just can't kill the beast
♪ Last thing I remember
♪ I was running for the door
♪ I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
♪ "Relax," said the nightwatcher
♪ "We are programmed to receive
♪ You can check-out any time you like
♪ But you can never leave!"
Male Bandit 3: You're lucky we don't kill you, running like that. Make me run again and I'll skin you like a cat.
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Male Bandit 2: Yeah, yeah, he's right you know. Ain't too much fun running in this town, ain't much fun running in this snow!
Michelle Erin: What do you want with me, I know nothing about your crime and there was nothing that I heard. Please, let me go, I won't tell a soul, I promise... You have my word.
Male Bandit 3: ...No one in this town is trustworthy, not a single one. You know why Simore the Businessman is out right now? He was selling us dope illegally, because selling drugs legally is no fun.
Male Bandit 2: Yeah, yeah, and now that we're done with him, we're onto you and your lady friend. We're gonna hold you both ransom and demand five million dollars. Hell, maybe even ten.
As the triplet got closer and closer to the yellow light, Michelle began to develop mental images in her mind. The closer they got, the more she saw the image of her yellow lamp back home. This continued until finally they arrived at the cabin hideout the bandits had built. There, they found their remaining bandit friends.
Female Bandit: The lady escaped our grasp, but that's no problem, not here. She ran towards the red light, and there's nothing out there, so chances are she'll freeze to death with the deer.
Male Bandit 2: Excellent. Say, what time is it now? I need a drink after all this mayhem.
Male Bandit 1: Must still be early in the morning, no? Maybe one or two a.m.?
It was two a.m. in this town with a snowy past, and at last, all laid down very fast. It must have been at least thirty minutes until an echo was heard, and when the third bandit looked out of his window towards the mountain past a tree with a funny branch, he saw the coming of a wild avalanche.
Male Bandit 3: Oh my God! Everyone! Go to the fridge and grab all the ranch! We've got to get outta here before the avalanche!
And so all four bandits went into the kitchen in a scurry, for they needed to grab all of the stolen ranch they could find, they needed to do this in a hurry. Just before they left, though, they unlocked the door to Michelle's room to set her free, to give her at least some kind of chance to survive this avalanche, to help her in some degree.
As the avalanche came down hard, at first the four bandits all ran in different directions in 13 | SNOWY PASTURES
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wildly crazy fashion. Michelle was the last to leave, and her odds of survival was that of a fraction.
She ran and she ran, and then she ran some more, and somehow she ran past bandit number four. She ran faster, harder, carefree, and suddenly she passed bandit number three. She ran with a second wind towards the light that was blue, and now she was past bandit number two. And finally, she sprinted, it was a record run, and of course, she ran past bandit number one.
After running faster than all of her captors, she turned around, and the sight she saw was amazing to procure. All of the bandits had been buried by the avalanche, and now the avalanche had begun to bury her.
SCENE III - Under an avalanche
♪ Are you such a dreamer
♪ To put the world to rights?
♪ I'll stay home forever
♪ Where two and two always makes up five
♪ I'll lay down the tracks
♪ Sandbag and hide
♪ January has April's showers
♪ And two and two always makes up five
♪ It's the devil's way now
♪ There is no way out
♪ You can scream and you can shout
♪ It is too late now
♪ Because you have not been
♪ Paying attention
Michelle was beginning to suffer frostbite, and losing a limb, she thought she might.
Buried by the ice and snow, she continued to climb towards the sky, until finally she found the top on high. She lifted herself up, looking around for any bandits, then she lifted herself out and wondered if they had all been killed by the avalanche.
It only took a few minutes for her to see that she was wrong, and though three of them were indeed killed by the avalanche, bandit number two was alive and well and walking 14 | SNOWY PASTURES
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towards her with a rare two-dollar bill and a jar of ranch.
Male Bandit 2: ...Yeah, yeah, I'm still here, thank God for that one tree! Hey, girl, get back here, if you tell a soul about me, I'll murder your whole family!
When the second bandit began to chase her through the blizzard, Michelle ran again, this time finding a street.
Michelle Erin: Heelloo!! Someone help mee! Heeellloooo! Is anyone there!!! Helloooo!
I'm being chased!! Please!! Someone must care!!!!
And this time someone did care, for in the distance, was a slow moving vehicle with a blinding light. She flagged it down, standing in front of it, telling the driver of her plight.
Stranger: What are you doing in the middle of the road? Get in here, you're crazy, you'll catch a cold!
When Michelle entered the car, the driver told her that he was lost, that he somehow happened upon this town, and now he needed guidance, help, so she told him to drive forward until they could finally see something that resembled buildings. All the while, she constantly looked back to see if the second bandit was still following them.
Michelle Erin: Oh! I almost forgot, I've got a map in my right pant! That will help us find our way out of this trouble, because stand it no longer, I simply can't!
Michelle saw that they were passing by Sam Foster's residence, and when the driver told her that he spotted a house, she told him to keep driving like a scared little mouse.
SCENE IV - Fulcrum Street
♪ If I leave here tomorrow
♪ Would you still remember me?
♪ For I must be traveling on, now
♪ Cause there's too many places I've got to see
♪ But, if I stayed here with you
♪ Things just couldn't be the same
♪ Cause I'm as free as a bird now
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♪ And this bird you can not cage
It wasn't too long until they happened in front of a car, and in front of that car another car and another car, and eventually it revealed itself that there was a very long row of cars.
And in the curve at the end of the road they saw Big Ted speaking to a driver of a car, and he pointed in a direction and the car went in that direction.
Deputy Krauser: Hello sir, I will need you to follow my instruction. There has been an avalanche, registered a 7.8, and it is possible it will cause great destruction. You see, it is possible that Lake Lace will tsunami onto our town, so you need to make a right here and head towards the school where you will be taken underground.
Stranger: Oh wow! This seems quite scary! I can't even tell...
Deputy Krauser: Hey! Erin! Is that you? I thought you were staying at the motel?
Michelle Erin: I was, I was, until a fair...
Deputy Krauser: Speaking of the motel, have you seen Lilith? She's not there, and I can't find her anywhere.
It was at this moment that Michelle lied, fearing that if she mentioned the bandits, she would be brought in and ran the risk of putting her family at stake.
Michelle Erin: ...I have no idea where she is, but I think she said something about going to the lake...
SCENE V - Fulcrum High School
♪ To the centre of the city where all roads meet, waiting for you
♪ To the depths of the ocean where all hopes sank, searching for you
♪ Well I was moving through the silence without motion, waiting for you
♪ In a room without a window in the corner I found truth At three-thirty a.m. Michelle wandered into Fulcrum High School, as did the rest of the town, for anyone who stayed anywhere else was nothing short of a fool. She was placed into a classroom with a glass broom that was kept on display, because the basketball team of the school was swept after a four point play.
Raymonde the Teacher: I don't know why they put us in here every time there is an avalanche, my God. The lake never tsunamis, it's just a stupid theory by Rod!
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Michelle Erin: You never know what can happen, I have seen a lot of crazy things, like one time a tornado flew up into the air and killed a bird that sings!
Raymonde the Teacher: Really? That's weird. I didn't know that could happen. Maybe Rod is right, maybe that's why he's the captain...
One by one by one the classroom with a glass broom was filled to evade doom, and suddenly there were a hundred people in there, packed like an apocalyptic tomb.
Luis the Husband: Look sons, down there, the lake is rising!
Lois the Wife: Holy moley, you're right! It's getting even bigger, look it's resizing!
And when everyone in the class room with the glass broom that now had a brass moon looked to the north out of their window, they saw the extremely high tide of Lake Lace overtaking their town.
Old Man Sam: My house! My God! My property! I'm going down there right now to saw off that water properly!
Michelle looked up quickly for the speaker of these words, for they sounded terribly familiar, like a dozen angry birds. That's when she saw Sam Foster, the man who had threatened to kill her like a flee, but her fear was compounded when she saw a jar of ranch, and the second bandit who had threatened her family.
Male Bandit 2: (staring at Michelle) ….......
As Sam ran for the door, causing a commotion, Michelle escaped through a connecting room and now had a better view of rising ocean. Lake. Not ocean.
Michelle Erin: If he finds me he'll kill me, I just know. There has to be other safe places here, somewhere where no one else will go.
As Michelle toured the entire school, she could hear the sounds of Lake Lace forming a new pool. It was now causing destruction on the northern side of the town, and soon the whole place would be swimming in a new compound. She heard the houses, the trees, cars, buildings, smacked by the water, and suddenly she found a secret escape at the bottom of the school, though it was lit and from the rest of the school, and was much hotter.
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ACT IV
SCENE I – A section of an underground network
♪ Falling, I'm falling
♪ Have you ever walked through a room
♪ But it was more like the room passed around you
♪ Like there was a leash around your neck that pulled you through
♪ Have you ever been at some place
♪ Recognizing everybody's face
♪ Until you realized that there was no one there you knew
♪ Well I know
♪ Some days, my soul's confined and out of mind
♪ Sleep forever
♪ Some days, I'm so outshined and out of time
♪ Have you ever
♪ Falling, I'm falling
She climbed down deep into the unknown until she felt the floor, and the first thing she realized was that this underground was much like that of where she found Egor.
Browsing, she came across a brick room with a large number of screen displays. When she got closer, she realized that the displays were viewings of the entire town; she saw a screen of a prison, a high school, a library, Sam swimming towards his house hastily, a cemetery, all the roads that led into the town and much more.
Julio the Nightwatcher: Who is that, show your hands! Don't think about anything, don't conjure up any plans!
Michelle raised her hands quickly and turned around to see a nightwatcher. He approached her cautiously and asked her what it was that she was doing, to which she replied she was simply lost and fell down the well. Being only a girl, his suspicions of spying activity demolished.
Julio the Nightwatcher: This is where we monitor the town, to see if there is any mischief going down.
Michelle Erin: Do you have a camera for the entrance to this place? I may have been 18 | SNOWY PASTURES
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followed and left a trace.
The nightwatcher pointed to a screen in the upper right section, and this was when they both noticed the second bandit climbing down the well with a jar of ranch.
Julio the Nightwatcher: Where are you going, we've only just met? Did you misplace something back home? Or did you forget?
Michelle did not answer, but only kept running for she feared the bandit of great fear, and sometime later, she saw that she was walking underneath a lady prison and heard voices that were very near.
Inmate 1: Did you hear about the tsunami? Is it real?
Inmate 2: Yeah woman, of course it's real. Real as oatmeal.
Michelle kept walking, and eventually she came into another room. The room was filled with gloom, as it was a past artifact of many loans and had many ice cream cones. Sam Foster's father had once dwelled here, but not here, but when the ice cream shop was up there. There she hid, under a lid, and the room became of something candid.
Male Bandit 2: Come back, Giselle! I don't want to hurt you no more! I love you, Jenelle, let's go back to what we were like back at the drug store!
But Michelle did not buy into his tricks, so the bandit went around screaming at everything he kicks. And finally he came to where Michelle was hiding, and he lifted the lid and saw an enjoyable sighting. Though at this sight, they both heard a sound. It was the drowning lake! And the drowning lake was bound!
SCENE II – Underground tunneling way
♪ Kiss me goodbye
♪ Pushing out before I sleep
♪ Can't you see I try
♪ Swimming the same deep water as you is hard
♪ The shallow drowned lose less than we
♪ You breathe the strangest twist upon your lips
♪ And we shall be together
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♪ Kiss me goodbye
♪ Bow your head and join with me
♪ And face pushed deep reflections meet
♪ The strangest twist upon your lips
♪ And disappear the ripples clear
♪ And laughing break against your feet
♪ And laughing break the mirror sweet
♪ So we shall be together
The second bandit, along with Michelle, were carried away down a long tunnel by part of Lake Lace, and all through the race, the bandit maintained a strong face. But suddenly Michelle heard a large gasp for air, and when she looked to the bandit, he was no longer there.
She continued down the way, cruising and abusing, just relaxing and feeling good, until suddenly sea animals appeared out of nowhere and put her in a frightful mood.
Martin the Turtle: What in the name of Elijah is going on? I was sleeping and then all of a sudden I wake up in Hong Kong!
Nick the Shark: This isn't Hong Kong, you dunnell! Lake Lace flooded a town and now we're in a tunnel!
Their brief appearance was cut short as the tunnel split into two, the sea animals going left and Michelle going right, into what one might call the place of zhambu.
She passed by many things; a junkyard, broken down doors, abandoned huts, until finally she came upon a hidden room, a place of governance, always kept clean by a sweeping broom.
Ivan the Town Mayor: What is this? Why have you crashed our council meeting? Did you have an appointment? Or is it the tsunami you're fleeting?
Michelle Erin: I was overtaken by the Lake Lace water. Who is that you're holding? Is that your daughter?
Jeter from the Department of Corrections: Don't try to change the subject! You, over there! Detain her. We'll put her in a holding cell, that should refrain her.
And so the town mayor watched with his daughter in his arms as they took away 20 | SNOWY PASTURES
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Michelle, and after all was said and done they continued their council meeting on tax cuts.
Being brought to her holding cell, Michelle saw many imprisoned faces, and she saw on their expressions, the fantasy of many places. The cell door opened and she was pushed inside, the cell door closed then locked, and this gave her no place to hide.
“What is this place?,” she thought outloud, such a damn strange town with a damn strange cloud. And suddenly she heard a whisper in the cell next to hers, so she went over to the wall to ask the occupant a question.
“Hey, do you know where we are?,” she asked. “We're in prison,” the person replied.
“No, what town is this?” “It's... Hmm... That's weird. I can't remember its name, even though I can remember the last time I shaved my beard...”
Michelle went back onto the bed and thought for a long while, and if you could measure this long while it would come in the form of a mile.
Egor the Undertaker: Michelley, is that you? What are you doing in jail? And why do you look so blue?
Michelle Erin: Egor! It's you! Can you help me out? Can you please tell these people that I'm not a spy or a clout!
Egor the Undertaker: Ivan's my brother, the mayor of this town. I'll speak to him promptly, just wait, I'll be back around.
SCENE III – Mayor's Office
♪ You didn't realize about the other life that we can give you
♪ We'll open up your eyes and make you see the light that's all around you
♪ We'll help you work it out and then you'll never doubt
♪ Our intuition, our vision, our decision, our mission, so listen
♪ We're going to lead you down to where the Sun is always brightly shining
♪ We'll push away the clouds and show you there's a gold and silver lining
♪ We'll take away the pain, you'll want to try again
♪ You won't be sorry, so don't worry, don't worry, so hurry and join me Egor entered into Ivan's office to see him for the first time in three years to speak about 21 | SNOWY PASTURES
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Michelle. Ivan, at first glance, knew that his brother came to bargain with him, this, from his face, he could tell.
Ivan the Town Mayor: Hello brother! Have you seen mother?
Egor the Undertaker: I see her everyday Ivan, someday you should stop by the cemetery, there is a lot to discover.
Ivan the Town Mayor: I'm much too busy, this town is like a small city, but enough small talk! Let's chitty chat chitty. What's on your mind, Iggy?
Egor the Undertaker: The girl you've captured, imprisoned, I know her, she is of no harm, you should let her go.
Ivan the Town Mayor: We have to ask her questions first. For example, what she saw on our screens, and how much does she know.
Egor the Undertaker: She is not from this town, she is just passing through.
Ivan the Town Mayor: In that case, I'll take your word, but I hope you are correct brother, I don't want to have to deal with Hugh.
SCENE IV – Underground tunneling way
♪ I looked out this morning and the Sun was gone
♪ Turned on some music to start my day
♪ I lost myself in a familiar song
♪ I closed my eyes and I slipped away
♪ It's more than a feeling, more than a feeling
♪ When I hear that old song they used to play
♪ And I begin dreaming
♪ So many people have come and gone
♪ Their faces fade as the years go by
♪ Yet I still recall as I wander on
♪ As clear as the Sun in the summer sky
In the next ten minutes, Egor arranged for the release of Michelle, and finally she was released as they both walked through a dark part of the underground circuit.
Michelle Erin: Gee, Egor, thanks!
Egor the Undertaker: No problem, Michelle, just make sure you stay away from the lake and the river banks.
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Egor showed Michelle back to the opening of where he first met her, which would also lead her back to the motel. But Egor had one last thing to say to her before she went on her way.
Egor the Undertaker: In this place, the mouth has a missing tooth, and one is only allowed a voice when they are ready to speak the truth.
SCENE V – Hunter's Moon Motel
♪ I lived a quiet life
♪ A stranger to champagne
♪ I never dreamed to venture out
♪ To cities of the plain
♪ I'd heard about their way of life
♪ Took it with a pinch of salt
♪ The freedom and the time to play
♪ A life so easy
♪ It intrigued me
♪ When you called to say...
When Michelle made it back above ground, she could see the disaster and damage the tsunami caused in the long distance, and she was thankful that this part of the town had a sort of resistance. Michelle went into her motel room and planned to stay the night, waiting for the storm to slow down and fade away, but this would not be the case. The night was still young.
After once again not being able to fall asleep, she realized it was nearly four in the a.m.
And she heard not a sound, not a peep. She went over to the window and stared out into deep space, and when she looked back down, in the distance she saw a truck headed towards the green light, leaving a wide trace.
She watched and watched, and finally out came sheriff Doug, who got out of his truck and walked over to a small area of land where he dug.
After digging, he buried an item and then got back into his car and drove away, and not more than five minutes later did a woman come out of the forest and retrieve what he had left behind.
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In her mind, Michelle wandered, then pondered, and then remembered Lilith and how she said each light was an exit to the town. Wanting to escape the town, Michelle took her map out and began walking through the snowstorm to the green light, perhaps to escape through the forest.
ACT V
SCENE I – Fuchisa Forest
♪ So tired of the straight line
♪ And everywhere you turn
♪ There's vultures and thieves at your back
♪ And the storm keeps on twisting
♪ You keep on building the lies
♪ That you make up for all that you lack
♪ It don't make no difference
♪ Escaping one last time
♪ It's easier to believe in this sweet madness, oh
♪ This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
With great stealth, Michelle passed a cabin house in the woods, a cabin who was occupied by the same individual she saw retrieve Doug's left behind. But suddenly a booby trap caught her leg. The individual ran out of her home, alerted at the same.
Yajir the Hunter: Little girl, what are you doing out here setting off my traps! You're lucky it was a humane one, I made it especially for the furry blaps...
Michelle Erin: Sorry, ma'am! You see, I've been lost for a long while now, I just want to get home but I don't know how!
Yajir the Hunter: (releasing Michelle) Wow, you smell like mustard and grime...
Michelle Erin: I know, I just got back from doing hard time...
After being released, the hunter asked where she was headed, which she replied, anywhere away from here. The hunter warned her that no one has ever left through the woods, and warned that she would eventually become lost, but this did not bother Michelle, for she felt she was already lost, so she went on her way and began at the forest.
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Michelle walked, and walked, and walked, until finally she realized she was walking by the same set of trees. This is when she realized she was going in circles, and choosing a random direction different than before, she eventually came upon a lost letter in the frozen ground.
“In 1804, a great settler by the name of Richy Foster began building a town with the help of his colleague, Mitchy McCown. The town would become a great success, attracting all types of attention and many new residents. Because of its constant cold weather, its snowy atmosphere made it somewhat of a 'Winterland,' where families would come together to participate in festivals and carnivals decorated with the type of decor you would find around the time of Christmas. As the town grew, so did its architecture. A school, a library, a prison, dozens of stores, even an underground circuit and tunneling system was built to further progress its establishment. But, tragedy struck when a man by the name of Bipee gave the town a visit. Bipee, at first, was delighted by the family-friendly culture and holiday like presentation the town had, but he soon found it was difficult to leave the town to return home. There were constant blizzards, avalanches, tsunamis, earthquakes, and there was snow every which way he went. When he asked the town residents for help, he received none, and so he became disgruntled, eventually to the point he put a hex on the town, saying no one again shall ever be able to leave it, and those were born in it would never know of the town's name. He erased the knowledge of the town's name so that those who were born in it would never understand the concept of a certain piece of land. They would forever assume this land was the only one there was, and by doing this, it was unlikely one would say 'I want to go here or there.'”
Reading further into the letter, Michelle saw that it was Simore Albrite who put a hex on the town, and immediately, she tried her best to retrace her footsteps as the snow grew heavier. When Michelle finally found the green light, she followed it until Simore's Meat
& Drugs came into sight. The store was somewhat damaged by the tsunamic waters but was still somewhat approachable. She saw that Simore's body was gone, so she entered into the store and began looking for him. She checked the front, the sides, and finally, the back, where she found him bandaging deep wounds.
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SCENE II – Town Drug Store
♪ On a cobweb afternoon
♪ In a room full of emptiness
♪ By a freeway I confess
♪ I was lost in the pages
♪ Of a book full of death
♪ Reading how we'll die alone
♪ And if we're good, we'll lay to rest
♪ Anywhere we want to go
♪ On my deathbed I will pray
♪ To the gods and the angels
♪ Like a pagan to anyone
♪ Who will take me to heaven
♪ To a place I recall
♪ I was there so long ago
♪ The sky was bruised
♪ The wine was bled
♪ And in the snow you led me on
Simore Albrite: Let me alone. We don't got no service and we ain't got no phone.
Michelle Erin: Simore, I have read the history of this place, and I know you are the one who took away its name and its face.
Simore Albrite: (turning around) Ah... You see, everyone else here is asleep, they have no idea what I did.
Michelle Erin: But it doesn't make sense... In doing so, you inadvertently locked yourself in here and can't get back to your wife and kid.
Simore Albrite: I suppose you are right, but I enjoyed trading the dark for the light.
Michelle thought about what he said and realized that since she had been trapped here, it had always been dark and night. Never did she see any day, not even a ray of sunlight.
Michelle Erin: You've got to remove the hex so I can go back home!
Simore Albrite: I'm sorry, little girl. That is one thing I can't do. It has been so long that the hex is now permanent, and the sky will never again be blue.
Defeated, Michelle sat on a chair next to the register. And suddenly, Simore began 26 | SNOWY PASTURES
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speaking more on the past of the town.
Simore Albrite: I still remember when I first got lost here. I passed by a red light and a sign that read “Welcome to Snowy Pastures.” I came for the holiday spirit and all the fun and games. I remember that this place is somewhere in Chicago, Illinois. I think somewhere in the center. But it has been so long I can't remember the origins.
Michelle Erin: ...The more I think about it, the harder a time I have of remembering where I was before I got lost here. It has only been a few hours, but I don't even know where I was going or from where I came.
Simore Albrite: That's what this place does, if you stay in it long enough. It becomes your world...
Michelle Erin: I don't want this stinky cold old town to be my home! I want to go back to my real home!
Michelle then stormed out of the drug store into the stormy storm. As she ran, she ran past a sign that read “There is no reason to your existence. It may seem cold at first, but it is liberating!” Though she did not see it, it was there.
SCENE III – Security Station
♪ "There must be some kind of way out of here,"
♪ Said the joker to the thief,
♪ "There's too much confusion.
♪ I can't get no relief.
♪ Businessmen – they drink my wine,
♪ Plowmen dig my earth.
♪ None will level on the line,
♪ Nobody of it is worth.
♪ "No reason to get excited,"
♪ The thief – he kindly spoke,
♪ "There are many here among us
♪ Who feel that life is but a joke.
♪ But you and I – we've been through that.
♪ And this is not our fate.
♪ So let us not talk falsely now.
♪ The hour's getting late.
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Michelle decided to go back underground to find the security station she had come across before. Her plan was to look around and find an escape or at least some kind of detour.
When she found it, she again saw that it was left unoccupied, so she sat and looked at every camera while she ate leftover pie.
She looked around the motel she was staying inn, but there was no escape, there wasn't even a bin. She looked around the high school, but the temperature there was way too cool. She looked at the lady prison, but she didn't even want to go there, it would be a bad mission. She looked around the library, but that place was too sticky and hairy. She looked around the police department, but it was of no use for that place was in the very middle of the town's compartment. Her heart jumped when she saw a frozen body near Lake Lace, and she wondered if it was Lilith, but she could not see a face. Finally, she checked in the direction of the red light, where she saw only a very wide snowy pasture, and though it looked out into the unknown, she knew that this was the only place that would even give her a chance at escape, though she had no idea what was beyond its limits. Before leaving, Michelle spotted her lost car and made plans to recover it. Using her map, she located it and began digging around it to save it from the snow. When she finally got in, it took a moment or two for it to finally start, but eventually it began moving and in the direction of the red light.
SCENE IV – The red light, near a snowy pasture
♪ There's a place where everyone can be happy
♪ It's the most beautiful place in the whole world
♪ It's made of candy canes and planes
♪ And bright red choo-choo trains
♪ And the meanest little boys and the most innocent little girls
♪ And you know I wish that I could go there
♪ It's a road that I have not found
♪ And I wish you the best of luck, dear
♪ Drop a card or a letter to my side of town
♪ Because there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend
♪ But I'm amazed at the hate that you can send because
♪ You... You painted my entire world
At one moment or another, she began driving towards what was now a location damaged by a recent tsunami, and at another moment, she passed by Old Man Sam's home.
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Making a right turn, she found a field that led directly to the red light and began driving towards it with no intention of slowing down. The closer she got to the red light, the more unconscious she felt, and suddenly visions of a red cord came into her mind.
Instinctively, Michelle reached out for the red cord and caught a hold of it in her mind, but letting go of the driving wheel her vehicle suddenly spun out of control and began flipping and sliding against the snowy pasture.
When Michelle opened her eyes, she saw that she was now in her bedroom, grasping tightly a red headphone cord. She could not believe that she had just awoken from a dream, because the whole ordeal had felt so real to her.
SCENE V – Chicago, Illinois
♪ I listen to these voices
♪ Or is it this house that's giving me chills
♪ As I lie upon this little girl's bed?
♪ Who's at the door? Who's walking near?
♪ Or has my imagination spilled?
♪ This little girl all grown up still fears
♪ Where can I go, where can I hide
♪ From these evil sufferings?
♪ Oh, these images painted on my walls
♪ They say there's a place that I can
♪ Hide in the shadow of your wings
♪ Oh Lord, bring me to this place of refuge
It was only around six a.m. and was still dark out, and when she rose to look out of her window, she saw a deep snow falling and that the ground had been covered in at least ten inches of snow. “Wow,” she thought to herself as she marveled at the snow and at a single glowing purple light in the far distance.
In a direction of her room was a yellow lamp, and in another was a blue television, and in yet another was a green computer.
On the ground beside her bed was Scoot, who was sound asleep with a chewy toy that resembled a girl bandit. When she looked to the right of her television, she noticed a film 29 | SNOWY PASTURES
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named “Harvest Moon Motel.” Near her bookbag, she noticed a book she was studying in class that dealt with the dangers of water.
It all came very clear to Michelle Erin when she found her school identification card and looked at it in detail, and upon this discovered that it instead read Erin Michelle.
EPILOGUE
In the evergrowing vastness of the dream world, there are many “Snowy Pastures” that are adventured each night. Some places are not snowy towns, but brightly lit summer cities, or deserts that run for miles with long stretches of clear blue sky. Some take place by rivers with huts on either side or in volcanic areas that continually erupt. In each of these places is a unique cast, and if you visit a place like one of these in your dreams, the people may stay the same or may change completely.
These worlds, they are never fully designed and questions often go unresolved. Though these places may be incomplete, they are real when contained within the dream world.
Depending on the dreamer's location and what the dreamer has experienced up until that moment they lay down to rest their eyes, the dreamer will unlock one of these worlds to adventure. This world that the dreamer has unlocked will not always be brand new, for it could have been traveled by a previous dreamer who had already left. A previous dreamer who too occupied a similar location and had similar experiences may have visited Snowy Pastures long before, or may visit it long after.
With the same concept in mind, some have speculated that our own real world is only one of these many places. And before we were all brought to this universe to inhabit this Earth, our outer selves met the same demanding criteria to dream of a nameless and mysterious anthology world.
THE END
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Chapter 42
ALCOVES
2:2:5:42
ALL the music in this God forsaken world couldn't save it. All the songs of love and peace fall on deaf ears and are lost in the trashed towns of yesterday.
I was staring out of my window, watching heavy snow fall. They say this will be the worst blizzard in twenty years. They can't even comfortably predict the amount, they just know this will affect the daily process we all love to go through.
A sound came from the living room, a sound telling me that Lynne had just sent me a message on a device she now forces me to use.
Lynnette: Spook
Unregistered: ?
Lynnette: They stopped the train
Lynnette: Don't know when 8I'll be home
Unregistered: Oh. How was work?
Lynnette: Fine, just left the airport. Giselle never showed up to relieve me but there was no way I was staying
Lynnette: Now with this weather, I'm thinking maybe I should have stayed...
Lynnette: What are you done?
Lynnette: Done*
Lynnette: Doing**
Unregistered: Nothing
Lynnette: I'm going to send you a picture okay?
Unregistered: Do it
Lynnette: Lol
Unregistered: You breathed on the window and drew the pi symbol? It's that cold inside the train?
Lynnette: Yes. Brrr
Unregistered: Why did you sent that? Did something new pop into your head?
Lynnette: No... I'm going to bake us a pie when I get home. Lol!
Unregistered: Don't play with my em9tions like that Lynnette: Sorry Spookie...
Lynnette: Em just told me she refuses to drive so the kids will be with her probably until school starts back up
Lynnette: This guy sitting in front of me keeps falling asleep to catch his head Lynnette: I have a question
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Lynnette: What does sPphire muses mean?
Unregistered: F4om the poem?
Lynnette: Yeah
Unregistered: If I ever wrote a song or painted a picture or wrote a book it would be about you. Isn't that what a muse is?
Lynnette: But why sapphire? Why blue?
Unregistered: Your blue rosedress with the nirds on it Lynnette: I'm assuming crystal desires is sex?
Unregistered: Yes
Lynnette: Spinel feelings?
Unregistered: This I'd more than one question...
Lynnette: Is that sex too?
Unregistered: Not everything is sex Lynne
Lynnette: Then?
Unregistered: You give me feelings. Sometimes I can't even stand up straight because they're so overwhelming
Lynnette: Spine?
Unregistered: Yes!
Lynnette: Amber passion. My fruit
Unregistered: (:
Lynnette: Gre3n is the color of money, you treasure me like money?
Unregistered: No. It means I'm glad we live like simple folk Lynnette: But you still treasure me right?
Unregistered: Like the last emerald on ERth. You know you are the déijà queen Lynnette: And you know you are the Spookster of my life. ;]
Lynnette: The traine is moving again
Unregistered: Cool
Lynnette: We just passed Jacksonville. Thank you for jeeping me entertained. I'll see you soon Spookie
Unregistered: :]
I put down the phone and go back into my bedroom and back to the window where the snowfall continues to fall wet and heavy. Street lights light up the dark street to help pedestrians, but that snow down there is just too tall.
I wonder why she had pi on her mind. Since we've started having these conversations she has demonstrated a strange mind, and I'm very curious to know what she is thinking.
When she sent me the picture of her pie, it immediately reminded me of a dream I had 32 | ALCOVES
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last year where I was looking at inscriptions inside an alcove. One of the carvings, of course, was a circle, which is what flared in my mind.
A philosopher would have you believe that we are all dying from the moment we are born. A mysticist would have you believe that while the philosopher is right, each second closer to death is a second closer to rebirth. A second closer to repeating the cycle.
Newton's third law would have you believe that birth and death work in opposing ways, acting on eachother, which is why even though you are a second closer to death, you are also a second closer to being reborn.
You want to know who told me that? She did. I gave her the barework, told her about these ideas in the first place, and then she gave me a way of looking at it that I had never thought of before. I am going to use her and pick her brain to further my studies.
Thinking about that alcove always increases my depression, because it is a dream that is on the same dreamline as “Sleep When You're Dead,” a dream including my father. By association with his illness, it reminds me of Lynne's, and it never lets me forget that disease is a major part of the cycle of life.
My finger still twitches from time to time, and it has gotten worse since I last spoke to you. I hope I don't have a neurological disease or any condition that may affect my motor skills. It's probably nothing. Let me not worry. Let me instead wonder about life until death. Let me forget about today until tomorrow.
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Chapter 43
GOD'S TRIANGLE
2:2:5:43
I told Lynne it was a nice song as we walked out of the blizzard and back into our apartment building. I followed her into her apartment, closing the door behind me, and then asked her if she realized the song had religious overtones.
“Besides Genesis?,” she asked. “Doesn't it seem more like Adam and Eve?,” I asked.
She thought about it and then partially agreed.
We kept our coats on and went inside into her bedroom to finally sleep. I say we kept our coats on because it was necessary to sleep with them; something with the heating system in the building was wrong and the landlord was taking his sweet time to fix it.
As we laid there in silence, every once in a while I could have sworn I saw her breath evaporate into the thin air. It took only ten minutes for the cold air to begin to annoy the both of us and we soon found that it was difficult to sleep.
“Do you believe in God?,” she suddenly asked me. I turned to look at her, “You really want to get into this now?” “I do,” she replied. “I believe in a higher being, but not a personal God.” “Personal God?” “I didn't adopt the same God as you.” “So no 'thy son thy father and thy holy spirit' for you?” “No.”
“...I am academically religious, though,” I told her. I told her to take out her phone and look up a certain verse. She reached over with her cold hand and began searching for it, and once she had found it, she read it aloud. “And I saw the beast, the kings of the earth, and their armies, gathered together to make war against Him who sat on the horse and against His army.”
The moment these words left her lips she became naked, clothed only with a single leaf. I looked around and at first I thought of Datura, but eventually I realized the walls were painted that of a garden.
“God fighting Satan during the end of times? The Christ and the Antichrist waging war?,” she asked.
“Yeah maybe, I don't know, but something I always found interesting about the Antichrist is that he is never actually referenced as a person,” I said, “he is as much an idea or an entity than a real person.” “But you just called him a he, and so did that verse.”
In a way she was right, but pronouns are often used as substitutes.
Suddenly her phone made a noise and she told me it was a message from some Chloe.
After reading it, she continued on the subject. “How does it all end anyway? I never read that far.” “Everyone knows how it ends. Jesus comes back and beats up the Antichrist.”
We continued our discourse on the Antichrist for some time because it was much too cold to sleep, and many things were learned of it all.
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The entire existence of an “Antichrist” is based on the abstract idea of “free will.”
Without free will, nothing could be deemed “good” or “evil,” there would be no concept of either because when we judge a person, our judgement is predicated on the fact that this individual had a choice in what he or she did. If there is no real concept of good and evil, can there be a Heaven and a Hell?
If free will is not available in our universe, should people who are anti-christian be held accountable for their opposition? Should anyone be held accountable for anything?
Some have said the Antichrist is doomed to be the first person to be cast into the lake of fire; doom implies a sort of fate, it just doesn't seem fair.
“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most, our one fellow and brother who most needed a friend yet had not a single one, the one sinner among us all who had the highest and clearest right to every Christian's daily and nightly prayers, for the plain and unassailable reason that his was the first and greatest need, he being among sinners the supremest?”
If Satan hadn't tempted Eve, would man still find sin? It seems inevitable. Free will leads to evil which leads to sin, and no one knew that better than Satan, not even God, who was warned by Satan himself of the fragile nature of human beings.
As Lynne and I were discussing these things, I saw many things on the room's walls.
Many different types of trees with many different fruits, wildlife, and though she was completely clothed, my mind saw the bareness of her bottom and the juices of her fruit.
Almost falling asleep after several minutes of silence, I heard her say that she was going to make some hot oatmeal to help her fall asleep, and she asked if I wanted any. I eventually got up and went into the living room to turn on the television while she made it.
I found myself flipping through channels half asleep, passing mostly commercials, then finally landing on channel fourty, hearing mainly elevator music, and waiting for the two a.m. news.
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Chapter 44
MONOLITH
2:2:5:44
MANY nights ago, I had a dream. The blue marker on the wall at first confused me, and then suddenly I found myself inside a dark room with switches on the walls. They were colored and titled, in red, yellow, green; named uniquely to fit its color connotation.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance; yellow, red, yellow, red, green. As I walked about the room reading all of the titles but flipping none of the switches, I began to notice a pattern. No two identical colors were ever in direct succession. Much articulation, no yada-yada.
OF the many things we will learn as life forms, pattern recognition is surely one of them. Imagine standing in front of a holographic line of squares that reel off into space.
Each square is yellow, and one by one they pass you by as you watch them. There is of course a pattern, each square is yellow, but that doesn't seem like a real pattern, does it?
Only facile.
NOW imagine the line of squares are still showing mainly yellow squares, but for every three yellow squares there is a red square. Suddenly something sparks in your mind, and you recognize that after every third yellow square, there will be one red square.
New obscured wonders.
ONE final color, green, is added to the reel. It will display only after nine yellow squares have been shown, will only appear after red squares, and each time it is displayed it will be increased by one (starting from its second display), which is to say, the fourth time a green square appears, there will be four green squares in succession. Our notion elaborated.
LIKEWISE to many things, the basic set of yellow squares is much less complex than the most recent set of squares, and through an increase in complexity, one may recognize a pattern and become aware. A subject may notice a pattern and after a period of time may even be able to predict the changes. Linked into knowledge, evolution, wonder, interperception, science, enmity.
I often wonder, could consciousness be derived from pattern recognition? Perhaps long ago life was but a series of actions and reactions interlaced with patterns that organisms would eventually become wise to, and in doing so, developed a part of the brain to better organize and understand patterns. Interperception.
THE thing I also think about is if a creator designed a reel long enough to outlive the subject so the subject would never become aware of a pattern in the first place. If the goal of the creator is to fool the subject, then a good idea would be to randomize the reel.
Imagine a patterned reel designed to loop indefinitely, and each reel is randomized from 36 | MONOLITH
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loop to loop. No one would ever figure out that joke from God. The humorless entity.
HALFWAY through browsing the many switches on the walls, I realized that I myself was in a patterned reel, and when I looked up at the ceiling, I saw the acronym ATCG written on it. I thought about it, but could not find any significance for it. I must be in a sacred place. Hours and lifetimes flew way above YHWH.
MOVING back into the real world, I noticed the sound of drilling and saw that our neighborhood's damaged sidewalks were all being repaired. Making one vast improvement neighboring greatness.
OVER by the men who were working were Dam Son and Gun Ho, probably asking them questions about their profession. The sight of them reminded me of Tao, then May-ling. Tao recently phoned me the other day and sounded like a middle-aged married man with children who was going though a mid-life crisis. Perhaps that is what he deserves.
It's much nicer having Tian live under me, anyway. Oh, very eventful really.
NOTHING in the mailbox as I later left my apartment and entered into the snowy cold night. It was my plan to visit Lynne at work. As I walked to the train station I passed by a number of shivering trees, thought about how some trees can tell you their age if you open them up and count their rings. Nested Os that hide interlayered neoteric generations.
OLD trees like these have many rings for many years of living, and each year, some of them add a new layer to their ring, adding to an interesting pattern that tells us many things. The green square, each iteration, or each loop, it will increase by one, and because we know this, we can have a good idea of which loop number we are in. If we all, the universe included, live in a loop function, is there something here that can literally tell us which loop we are on? One, last, diverged?
LATER, at the train station (which had the jingling sound of Christmas music), I paid the toll and walked up into the air to wait with everyone else, patterns and designs on my mind. Like a theorist, ever reflecting.
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Chapter 45
REDISCOVERY ROAD
2:2:5:45
“THE next stop is Chase. Doors open on the left in the direction of travel at Chase.”
At eleven p.m. I looked out of the train's windows and into the escape of our town. The holiday season decorated both the town and its neighboring city like a midnight festival.
After Chase was Mulford, the stop which had much construction in process. The train climbed the risen tracks and you could see the piles of debris which would become something new.
This sight made me think of all the revolutions that have taken place in the history of the Earth. All the peaceful and violent rebellions old stories have to tell.
It seems to me there are two types of revolutions; progressive revolutions and aggressive revolutions. Progressive revolutions, which side with peaceful rebellions, come from the need of improvement through means of discourse and brainstorming, whereas, I would say, aggressive revolutions are mainly led by the oppressed through means of violence, force, and overthrowing established systems.
The most noticeable progressive campaign I think is politics, which tells us progressive revolutions hardly ever inspire progress and are more likely to be very passive. The most noticeable aggressive campaign I think is war, a revolution type where by the end of it, nothing is the same and things will indeed change. War itself is transgressive by nature, but if there is one thing it does inspire, it is change. War has changed this world more than politics.
Progressive groups don't ever seem to be as effective as aggressive groups. One might also see that progressive groups are never as united as an oppressed aggressive group.
Those in congress tend to maintain their own agenda, but the oppressed, who have less, are united by a single goal. Maybe a person doesn't find independence from progress, but from aggress.
“This is Fulcrum. Transfer to Blue Line, Metra, and South Shore trains at Fulcrum.
This is a Red Line train to 45th.”
When the train started up again, only a moment later it began to dive deep into a dark tunnel and became a subway. The next stop we'd reach was Cardience. After that was Seventh, followed by Park Road, which was followed by Washington. Carver and North/33rd succeeded these until I found my stop, Jackson, and left the subway to walk up some stairs into a dark city accompanied by snowfall.
I walked a little, then took a bus to the airport where I entered into a place with many establishments. As soon as I entered I realized that the holiday spirit and the music of Christmas had followed me there. There is no escape from the dreaded holiday season; 38 | REDISCOVERY ROAD
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even at home I am constantly bombarded by the human ability to disguise darkness.
In the distance I see Lynnette, but she has yet to see me. She is serving two midnight customers, and a third has just sat down. I walk past a hallway that seems to lead down to many offices, each inch of it decorated with wreaths. I think to myself, passing this corridor, that a multitude of celebrated holidays have unsettling origins.
I sat down and waited for her to finish tending to the customers, and finally she came over, smiling, leaning over the counter and telling me about the street musicians who concerted earlier in the night.
Eventually she got me a cup of milk and an oatmeal cookie, and after searching through my pockets, I gave her a two dollar bill. She tells me of it, for she thought I hadn't known of it, and I say that's all I have. She looked at it as if it was something she had never seen before.
The airport's radio was tuned into 97.9 “The Sound,” and every once in a while they would play a holidus song. For thirty minutes, patrons came and left but there was never more than three, and finally after an hour, or at one a.m., they almost stopped coming completely.
There was a final man, old, maybe in his sixties, drinking a cup of coffee, and Lynne, joking at the matter but waiting patiently, finally said, after he left, “The night is finally ours.” She said this, ironically, as a song about midnight and the afterhours came over the radio.
She went to the other side of the place and kneeled down to take out her bookbag and purse, and then walked back over to me laying down a bunch of papers. She pointed at one, and I saw that it was a poem, or perhaps song lyrics. I read them, saw that it was about the Russian Revolution in 1917, and then asked her why she wanted me to read it.
She told me that she found the words used in the piece of writing very harsh, assertive, aggressive, so much so that she could feel the anger of the person who wrote it.
It stood out from the rest of the works to her, like a black psalm written under white lamps or a black rose growing in white snow. The work had interested her so much that we spent a great deal of time talking about it.
I have looked into countless wars, but the Russian Revolution is one war I have not read much about. But still, there have been times I have dabbled in it, and remembering what I have read, I know that that revolution started and ended the same way most do.
The “Whites” had the fatal inability to focus on a common goal. The “Reds,”
however, were blessed with that single-minded sense of purpose.
A father embarks on the task of moving a desk into a room. He struggles, and finally his wife shows up and agrees to help from the other side. There is little improvement, and finally their adult son and adult daughter show up and also agree to help move the piece 39 | REDISCOVERY ROAD
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of furniture. The son enters the room through another door, as did the mother, and the daughter works alongside her father. For almost the entirety of a complete minute, the family members did not know they were on opposing sides, the mother and son attempting to push the desk out of the room, the father and daughter attempting to push the desk into the room. All this because the most important question was never asked,
“Are we moving it into the room or out of the room?”
At four a.m., or maybe in the middle of three a.m., the airport's goods area had significantly less people in it. Lynne takes out a small sign that tells any would-be customers that she will be back soon, and we walk only a few yards to a small neighboring music store. A ten minute break in a ten hour shift.
Entering the store, Lynne saw that Jasmin had not yet clocked in, or perhaps was not working this day. She disappeared into the store, then came back around and found me, handing me an album of instrumental Spanish love songs. “Senorita,” I said, “Can you tell me where we're headin'? Patriot County Road or Armageddon?” She laughed.
She left again, probably to buy it, but what caught my attention most was cover art depicting an atomic explosion. War and politics are inseparable, yet so distinguishable; when you walk through a country, you will know which type of revolution passed by before you.
After we went back to her employment, I bade her farewell and told her that I would see her at home. When I got back to my residential area, I again saw the men who were fixing many sidewalks. One sidewalk square, which was recently refurbished, had been vandalized. It read “doodoo.”
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Chapter 46
THE BLUE PETAL OF THE NORTHERN
2:2:5:46
“HE saved many, but he can't even save himself!,” someone shouted to another as they passed by Jesus who was on the cross. He had been crucified, along with two others, and after being nailed to the cross he was placed in a lake with waves that continually crashed into his body, causing him to gasp for air after each crash.
I swam closer to the Christ, seeing the face of suffering from very far away. When I was close enough, I spoke to him, saying, “Why do you allow yourself to suffer?” He did not reply, but only gasped for air after another wave crashed into his body.
“I have seen you made the lame to walk, I have seen you cure of illness those who are sick. In the evening Sun I saw you fill the bellies of those without food, and in the nightly Moon I saw you make what was impure, holy. Surely, if you are capable of these great things, you are capable of saving yourself!” The Christ again did not reply, but only showed the face of pain.
“If you are truly the son of man, rise now, out of these waters, flood them into the town and destroy those who have found you guilty! They are the sinners, not you!”
Again, the Christ did not reply, and only a face of doubt remained after another wave crashed into his body.
It was now that the tide ceased, and this gave the Christ a moment to speak, but his words were few in numbers. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?,” he asked.
For a long time there was a long silence, but no reply was to be given; instead, the tide returned higher than before.
“You have saved many, but no one has come to save you. You cannot even save yourself. Your failure is my failure, Lord, and I carry this faith no more.”
I swam to his body and injected him with a serum. His sad face was no more, and his lips became blue. He was free from the torment of the world.
The first person I see leave is Amy. I am almost certain she has lost at least one hundred pounds. What is she doing? Ah, well, she just spilled all of her coffee onto the snow. She's cursing now, without coffee she's going to have a rough morning.
The next to leave, about twenty minutes later, are five children, two of them being the inseparable duo of Dam Son and Gun Ho. Dam Son, distinguishable from his brother by his lighter skin color, walked up to the coffeed snow and knelt at it. He then put one of his fingers in the black snow and smelt it. The moment he licked it his mother came shouting out of the apartment building and almost gave him a heart attack.
After her outburst, she walked towards her car and I suppose left for work. I never saw the father leave the house, however.
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A moment after she left someone else came to pick up the five children, and it was after this that I saw Jasmin leave the building. It was possible she was on her way to work, which was at the same airport of Lynne. She did not enter a vehicle but instead walked south until she was completely out of my range of view.
For whatever reason, when leaving she did not walk through the snow-flattened parking lot, but across the grass, which meant she would be walking in fresh, almost knee-high, snow. It didn't make sense.
Tian did the same thing when he left to wherever he was going. He went south, found Jasmin's footsteps, and carefully walked into them to escape the apartment building.
Suddenly I heard a shout. Someone was possibly yelling out the name “Mecca.”
Hearing it again, I looked to my right to see a teenaged girl yelling at someone who may have lived on the third floor.
“Tasha,” she said back, “I'll be down in five minutes.” When the two left, they walked by the blackened snow and were careful to avoid it.
The next pair were Mike and Deanna. Nothing interesting came from them, but my mind wandered onto Boris. Whatever happened to him?
For a long time there was no one, but construction men came out to play with the town. I couldn't see them, but I could hear them near the train station, a place that at the moment looked like a meadow of moths.
And from that meadow of moths now walking toward the apartment building was Lynne in her sky-blue work uniform. She walked toward the building, cellular phone in hand, sending what seemed to be a message. My assumption was confirmed when my own cellular phone began to play a song, but before I could turn, I see her walk over a patch of black ice.
She went every which way; this way, that way, then this way again, until finally she caught herself to balance herself out, relieved that she did not fall to the ground. When she was done, she looked around, perhaps wondering if she was being watched.
The phone continued to play until she put her own phone into her purse. She walks by the black snow, looks at it for a moment, then enters the building.
Eventually I hear her open the door to my apartment and for a while I can hear her going though the apartment; in the fridge, turning on the television, checking if the heater works.
Muhammad, who is regarded as the final prophet by Muslims, preached of the same virtues as Jesus Christ. And yet, their followers seem to oppose eachother, sometimes the opposition leading to violence, even holy war.
“One's individual pursuit for truth is much better than a group's pursuit,” Muhammad once said to me in a dream, “We must each find our own kind of wisdom, then we can 42 | THE BLUE PETAL OF THE NORTHERN
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heal the world.”
Though many of their words were of peace, a part of their legacy is embedded in violence. You can never know what a follower will do with your teachings, no matter how articulate you are.
Lynne didn't come into the room and I never saw her, and after about ten minutes, I heard her leave again to find her walking out of the apartment building. I noticed that she had a garbage bag in her hand, but she hadn't noticed that it was leaking a dark liquid as she walked through the snow.
Looking ahead of her I saw that there was a garbage truck sitting idly on the other side of the road, and after she crossed the road, she threw the garbage bag into its back, alarming a nearby garbage man.
This was my last windowed observation, though I made a general observation on the way to the bathroom. When you surround yourself with the common people, you become one of them, and no one is more important than the commoner, whose common day can be deemed meaningless or instead filled with parable.
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Chapter 47
SATURN STALEMATE
2:2:5:47
I am looking out of my window at many light and thin smoke streams that rise from the tops of apartment buildings. The night does it well by contrast as do the cloudless stars.
Down below there is an elderly man, his arms against his back, chin raised toward the sky, too looking at the dark sky. His thoughts are hidden from me, as is his face, but I am sure he is no stranger to the human condition.
Lynne works three days in the week, but this is either the fourth, fifth, sixth or seventh because she has been in my apartment all day. It's funny how much she talks to herself and some of the things she says are hilarious. Some strange. Others, I have no idea what to think. In the morning I am sure I heard her talking in the kitchen, perhaps to the microwave, because she could not get it to set on the right time. Only a week prior I heard her having a similar conversation to the stove.
Her discussions are not always with herself or to inanimate items, I can swear sometimes I've heard her talk to imaginary people. I'm not saying she's created people in her mind, but moreso preparing to say something to someone she actually knows by pretending they are actually there, as if in a play.
I can hear her right now, asking someone a question. It sounds like she's asking the person if “anyone is home.” You'd think these walls would block out soft talking but they don't. That's when I feel her put her soft hand on my shoulder. I look at her.
“I said 'Is anyone home?'” I don't reply. She tells me a friend was dropping something off at her apartment and that she would be back in ten minutes. I say okay.
A minute or two after she left, I saw a truck pull up with a large rug in the back. Out walked a large woman who had interestingly small eyes, and then a man of average appearance. I later saw Lynne approach them and then even later realized they were bringing the rug into Lynne's apartment.
Eventually, Lynne came to my apartment and dragged me to her's. We walked through a hallway which now hung a painting of Lake Cellardoor. There, in the living room, I saw the woman and the man judging the appearance of the laid out rug. “What do you think?,” Lynne asked. “It looks fine,” I answered. She couldn't tell if I really cared or not.
She paid them, well, the man, and told me that this was Chloe and Bob. She told them both that I was her mate, and this is when Chloe looked me all the way up and then all the way down, judging me like she had the rug. It felt like Lynne told her something that I had told Lynne in confidence.
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staring at the rug. “I don't like it!,” she repeated. “Then why did you buy it?” I asked.
Already it was four in the p.m. and already the winter Sun had died. “You know where this rug would really work?” “Where?” I wasn't actually interested. “The basement.” “What basement?” “At the home.” “You want to lug this thing all the way over there?” “It's not that big...”
And so through a dark and cold winter night, filled with dead trees and smoking buildings, we carried the rug on our shoulders.
On what I would say was the third mile, she became tired and requested a break. We walked the rug over to a stranded bench, placed it down in front of it and sat down. “If it doesn't look good there we can just bring it back,” she joked.
After a moment she took a deep breath inward, then outward, sending the smoke flying upward towards the sky. She followed it with her eyes until her eyes met the lit sky.
“I came up with a theory,” she said. I create my own smoke. “It's about the formation of the early universe, or just the formation of the universe in general... Do you ever wonder why when you leave cords laying around, they turn into big balls of random cords?” “Once or twice.”
“I think if you look at the universe that way, you get like some kind of spiral grid system.” “...Elaborate.” “Alright, so you have energy and momentum from maybe something like that big bang you were telling me about. But in it, matter doesn't just move in a straight line, it moves based off of a reaction in any way or direction, even in spirals and whatnot.”
I looked at her in a confused state. “I don't know!,” she got excited and then laughed.
“I'd have to draw it for you.” It was after this that a tornado appeared in the sky just underneath the Moon. When she too saw it, she pointed at it, saying “see the way it moves?”
“So then, my theory is, if there really is something like this invisible grid, then it will have a signature and we can learn something about the universe. Like, if the signature looks random and spirally and chaotic, that could mean there is no creator, but if it looks patterned and intricately designed, that could mean there is a creator.”
The sky opened up to the tune of her voice and there were now twice as many stars in the sky. I wondered to myself, if it was possible to create something and not leave behind a signature in it. To not leave behind some kind of clue or style or framework in the creation.
“Part of your theory makes me think of an atomic grid system. Each atom in the universe being magnetically connected, being able to transfer information to other atoms in its 'neural' network, its network reach based off of proximity.” “What do you mean 45 | SATURN STALEMATE
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based off of proximity?,” she asked.
“Through something like atomic radiation, an atom can send and receive information from nearby atoms. And through atomic entanglement, an atom can interact with another atom that is very distant to it.” She hesitated, “What I see in my head is a massive wave of disintegrating atoms.”
Suddenly we heard footsteps, and before we could look, a dog began barking at us loudly. The walker quieted the dog down and eventually they passed by us, and this is when we decided we needed to carry on.
I got up and began picking up my end of the rug, and when I saw that she was still sitting, I asked her if she was going to get up. “Well, give me a minute, let me get it together. Just gotta pick myself up from off the floor.” As she rose to her feet a green dust of aurora began to settle in the west, and grabbing her end, she said “I'm ready when you are, senor.”
Throughout the journey the earth shape-shifted into many different forms and the skies were never the same thing twice. The smoke and the stars were settling from unforgettable abroach.
Lynne tells me that her favorite planet is Saturn, that it has been since she was small.
It was her favorite because it had a pretty ring. The thought of Saturn made me wonder more about the atom world, and, eventually, Lynne and I did not walk on Earth, but on the mysterious planet of Saturn.
Is there precedence that when an object moves, its information changes or even becomes unobtainable, and when it returns to its previous state, that same information reverts back to what it was or becomes once again obtainable?
For example, let us assume that when an atom is in movement, its location is not obtainable or at the very least is more difficult to obtain as opposed to when it is stationary. This would pose a problem for neighboring atoms during atomic radiation, because we know constant movement means a constant flow of updating that atom's movement from position A to B to C to D. Constant updates could make for an unstable universe, but I think the universe has found a solution in dictating the natural movement of physical things.
It seems, from what I have seen, that things naturally tend to travel in a straight line.
This may be a product of the universe choosing to forgo a complicated path of A to B to C to D and to just simply choose A to D, and if an atom has knowledge of its eventual destination, it may choose the quickest route, the quickest route always being a straight line.
The atom would choose this simple path over the complicated path to avoid information loss, because its network of neighboring atoms rely on receiving that atom's 46 | SATURN STALEMATE
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location, or other such information, to keep the universe stable. In unstable circumstances, it may delve into that massive wave of disintegrating atoms.
We walked on Saturn for miles, and often Lynne would point out the colorful rocks that floated in the sky, all these rocks that designed the ring she adored. Her favorite among them were the ice blue stones of the black sky.
The way back to Earth was through Feng Shui, and after we entered the home we went into the basement and she laid out the rug. The lack of items down here served the appearance of the rug well, and we both saw this. The designs on the rug, for some reason, reminded her that she was to draw for me her “Arbitrary Grid” theory.
We relocated to Datura, where on a spishak bed she put a piece of paper to a book to a pen and began drawing curved lines and the motions they were traveling in. Observing the illustration, what I saw was the abstract idea of a universe created purely from momentum and energy.
As I look at it, I see her go to the corner of the room to grab what seemed to be a modified piece of cushion from one of the couches in the basement. She had cut it to be very thin, and for whatever reason laid it down to sit on it, and told me she was going to be doing some “yoger,” or “yogie,”; something along those lines. She said she started doing it to help her slow down the storms and hurricanes in her mind.
I look over the diagram once more and inside her purse, which was on the bed beside me, I spotted a familiar two-dollar bill. Before I could ask her about it, she requested my help.
For the span of the next hour, I was aid to her yogesh efforts. I wasn't much of an aid, however, since I tickled her every chance I got.
Her legs in the air of a headstand, I held them fixed and then tickled the bottom of her real foot as the laughter sent her bowling forward. The both of us standing aface eachother, her right leg raised against my left shoulder, she held her hands to my back until I tickled her ribcage and she forced herself away from me. Her arms out to reach the soles of her feet, I forced her body forward as her legs laid flat on the ground, and she fought back to me after I began tickling her lowerback to her highback. The back of her head to the ground, her midsection vertical, her legs coming toward her to touch down where I was holding them down, I tickled the back of her thighs as she laughed and kicked me with a now free silver foot. Her feet spread apart and and her lowerback pointed toward the ceiling, her midsection slanted as a ramp to the floor of her outstretched arms, I played drums on her buttocks but stopped after she threatened to release gaseous chemicals. Her haired demoiselle parts clothed yet exposed, she laid on her side, her left leg raised above her where I held it in flight, and with my other hand I tickled the inside of her highthigh, and she laughed until she brought down her raised leg 47 | SATURN STALEMATE
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to ring around my neck. Positioned as if to do a pushup, I held her feet about half of a foot in the air as she did ten of them, and when she went on to do the next five I continually raised them until she had landed on the top of her head. We tried again, but this time I slowly forced her legs away from eachother to complete a sort of air-split, and it may have been the one completed practice move she did the whole time. The final thing I helped her with was a pose; she wrapped her legs around my standing body, facing me, and then arched backwards to reach the ground with her arms. When I saw my moment I tickled her armpits, and for a while she fought, raising herself back up, still tickling her, she came forward too quickly and accidentally headbutted me.
The momentum and the energy and force of the impact sent me unbalanced and we both crashed into something in the corner of the room.
Sitting on the ground, I see that she has a mark on her shoulder blade. I myself could feel swelling beginning around my eye. “Thanks,” she said, “You can leave now. I don't need your help anymore.” She was half joking and half serious. Playful but fully played.
“Get out.” “I was going to leave anyway. It's boring here.”
I left the room and went to an adjacent room. Tired, I stand at its sole window and continue my observation of the integrated universe. After maybe ten minutes I saw a shadowy figure walk across a lit room in a home across the street. Probably it was Joyce, stumbling around for something elder.
The more my mind wonders, the emptier it becomes. All that is left in it are the sounds of someone humming softly. Humming, here, then there, then here again. Musical humming from the song of a bird.
All of the houses in this neighborhood have smoke coming from them; I am looking out of a window at many heavy and thick smoke streams that rise from the tops of house buildings. Houses whose residents have found the answer to the most standard question.
Often times I would have answers for everyone else, but those same answers would not work for me. I eventually realized it was because I had different questions. When I became aware of this, I stopped trying to use the answers to everyone else's questions, and I found the courage to address the stalemated ponderings of my own morbid heart.
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Chapter 48
THE SHADES OF A DISTANT LIFE
2:2:5:48
Unregistered: I just got on the train
Lynnette: Why?
Unregistered: To come see you...
Lynnette: But 8I'm already on the train home
Lynnette: I sent you a message an hour ago...
Unregistered: I didn't get that shit
Lynnette: Well now you are on the train for no reason Unregistered: Why off early?
Lynnette: I told you yesterday I was getting off at 2
Unregistered: I didn t get that either
Lynnette: No I told you in Pearson idiot
Lynnette: Don't get off, what stop are you at?
Unregistered: Leaving Mulford
Lynnette: Get on at Washington, I'll wait for you there. I needed to go to Publiks Lynnette: Off*
Unregistered: Ok
The train left the meadow of moths and eventually dove underground. I have thought about it for a long time now, and while I do agree that it is indeed true that the meek shall inherit the earth, I also believe that by then there will be nothing left of it.
Sometimes I wonder if she is less safe than she was before. There is decent security when Moon makes her appearance, but thieves scour trains late at night. She takes precautions; stay under lights, take the quickest route when walking, carries capsicum spray and a pocketknife. She sits in the car at the head of the train and makes small talk with the train operator. She calls a taxi if her shift starts too late in the night or ends too early in the morning. But still, peril thoughts invade my mind like night invades day.
At Washington, I get off the now emptied car and scour the stop. There were night dwellers, not too many, but just enough to force careful eyes. There was also the faint sound of music, and I later learned that it was by a musician who played for the riders of the night, had been doing so for many years now and had faithful listeners and made a modest salary.
Like a ghost, I heard him, but I never saw him, nor would I ever as she approached me from behind to greet me with her lynnettic kiss.
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♪ That night, her kiss told me it was over
♪ I walked out late into the dark
♪ The misty gloom seemed to soak up my sorrow
♪ The further I went on, I felt a spreading calm
♪ Then suddenly my eyes were bathed in a light
♪ And the lovely lady in white was by my side
♪ She said, "Like me I see you're walking alone
♪ Won't you please stay?" I couldn't look away
♪ She said, “I love the night
♪ The day is okay and the Sun can be fun
♪ But I live to see those rays slip away
♪ I love the night
♪ There's so much I can show and give to you
♪ If you will welcome me tonight
♪ If only you had been there my dear
♪ We could have shared this together”
Leaving the station, I also left the music. At approximately 2:40 a.m. we arrived at Publiks. There were very few people here. It took her all of five minutes to buy what she intended to buy and soon thereafter left.
On the train ride home she instinctively led me to the head of the car and for whatever reason introduced me to the train operator. He said he had “heard a lot about me,”
whatever that meant, and told me that my “wife” was one of the most interesting riders he had ever befriended during work.
The three of us got to talking and during the ride he relayed to us a grisly tale he witnessed his first year operating this route. Apparently an overweight white woman had been waiting for the train one morning to go to work, and as the train approached, she suddenly slipped and fell onto the tracks. She was run over, and after being recovered someway down the tracks, it seemed as if her identity had changed, for when they found her they saw that she was thin and black.
All of the riders and the train operator of that specific train that morning recalled seeing a large white woman slip onto the tracks, even this train operator, though the body of evidence said otherwise. Many thought perhaps the train had hit two people, but only the body of the black woman was found. If it had been one or two people who were mistaken, it would have made sense, but the majority of the witnesses claimed the same story of the identity change.
Pedro, that was his name, said goodbye to us as we exited on Main. Lynne and I enter 50 | THE SHADES OF A DISTANT LIFE
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my apartment and put away the groceries. One of her favorite things about working graveyard is what she calls “post midnight” grocery shopping, when there are fewer people and no lines.
About an hour later I go to the bathroom to check if there is any hot water running for the shower. I turn it on and wait. Lynne must have heard me checking, because a minute after she yelled, asking me if there was hot water. I pass my hand through the rain, all cold. I tell her no.
Thirty seconds later, I pass my hand again, but this time it's getting warmer... And warmer... And warmer... You have to understand, I have not had a decently warm shower all winter, which is why I did what I did next.
“The water is still freezing,” I yelled out to her, and then I undressed and went into the shower and felt the warm water strike my body. It felt amazing, and yet the feeling brought a thought of death. The thought of death made me think of the train accident, then another accident, where a squirrel was run over by a car. I think to myself in the shower, “A person can't think... A person can't think about life without thinking about death... If you do, then you will be unprepared... Unprepared when you die. And... A person can't think about death without thinking about life... If you do... You won't be prepared to live.”
The door to the bathroom swung open and Lynne saw that I was taking a shower. She slid the curtains and passed her hand through the warm water and caught me. She gave me an expression calling me a cunning liar, then immediately began undressing. I stop her, telling her there is no way two people can comfortably take a shower in here. She replied by telling me there was no debate, the next time we had hot water could be weeks from now and she hadn't taken a shower in four and a half days.
I agreed, but under one condition; I told her to bring a black bag from the freezer.
When she returned with the bag, she turned off the light so neither of us had to endure the awful awkwardness of standing staring nudity. The moment the lights went off, I thought the bathroom had become completely dark, but as she entered the tub, we both noticed that there was a bit of strange light entering through the thick glass and onto the shower curtain. Opening the tiny shower window, she realized it was the light that of the Moon.
She stood in front of me and I looked over her slightly luminescent nude body. That work of art. The body part I paid the most attention was her leg. Specifically, her flesh foot. I reached out and touched her thigh. I slid my hand down and up it. I did it again and again until she made a sound. I then took the black bag and out of it took a single purple heel.
I handed it to her, she bent over, she put it on her fleshed foot, then stood back up and pressed her body against mine. The most alluring thing about fantasy is complete control.
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The coming moments provided for both of us, or, well, I can only speak wholly for myself, the completion of an obsession. Her scarlight filled up my night sky; the starring ripped a whole into her thigh. She has become as forceful as I have. Decorated prostitute, pornographic actress. I am man, turned lougarou, and I have felt the most primordial desire of my body; no beast was meant to know such beauty. Oh, my Lynnetta. I have only words to play with...
When we were finished with eachother I forced off the purple heel and placed it back in the bag, then left her in the shower alone. Surprisingly, the water was still mostly warm.
I went to the freezer and placed the black bag in the back of it. I can only speak for myself, but something tells me I can speak for Lynne as well; the feeling of rapture was physical and psychological; her maimed body and my curious fantasy. There is nothing in the world like showing someone the ugliest parts of you and not being rejected. At times, even embraced.
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Chapter 49
FREE SPIRIT DIRE RAVEN
2:2:5:49
THE moment Becca placed the phone on the receiver, it began to ring. The number on the caller identifier read 646-0704, and she immediately brought the phone to her father, Connor.
410-2074: Hello?
646-0704: I'm calling for you to know Ava has applied for the car loan.
410-2074: Okay.
646-0704: She will be call you in next few days to discuss more details.
410-2074: Good. Thank you. Slan agat.
646-0704: Slan.
948-7255: Hello?
646-0704: I just call Connor, he is expecting call from you soon.
948-7255: Okay I will make call to let him know what bank and what details.
646-0704: Thank you Ava.
948-7255: Bye now.
646-0704: Slan leat.
Last night, I had a dream. On an Atlantic-bound ship, I see a captain who has a fascination for humor. He's lined up many people who want to sail the seven seas with him, but he will only allow one person onboard; the first person who makes him laugh.
My turn is up, everyone so far has failed miserably, and depending on his level of macabreity, he will or will not laugh. He stares at me.
“A farmer and a businessman were rivals since birth. The farmer had always envied the businessman for his success, wisdom and his status as a visionary. One night, a ghastly spirit came to him as he slept and woke him up, and told him he would grant him three wishes. The farmer was ecstatic. However, the ghastly spirit told him the desires came with a stipulation; whatever he received, his rival would receive twofold. He thought about this, then requested success. The next day, he did indeed receive success as he was offered a new deal concerning agriculture that would benefit him greatly. But on the same day, the farmer saw that the businessman too had received success and bought a home twice the size of his previous home. The farmer was somewhat jealous, but felt that he should have been thankful for his own success. That night, the ghastly spirit returned, asking for his second desire. The farmer asked for wisdom, so that he may learn to grow 53 | FREE SPIRIT DIRE RAVEN
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and be grateful for the success he encountered. The next day, the jealousy the farmer felt for the business man had disappeared, and when he saw his children, he told them many stories of life and how to live it. Later in the same day, the farmer was visited by the businessman, who too, had been a receiver of wisdom. The businessman came with gifts for the farmer's entire family, and he sat and ate with them at dinner, and he too told them great stories of life and how to live it. When the farmer saw that the businessman's advice was far greater than his own, and that the businessman's wisdom was much greater than his own, he became angry, though he did not show it directly. In the night, the ghastly spirit came as he had done for the past two nights and asked the farmer what his final desire was. The farmer thought long and hard, and finally, he told him of his final desire; he requested that he had one of his eyes removed.”
The captain of the ship bursted into tears, laughing uncontrollably. “Wow! Haha!
Wow!,” he excited. “That's hilarious! Because the businessman will lose two eyes!” I nodded agreeably. “Hahaha!,” he continued, “Get 'em on board now!,” he declared.
The second day sailing the Atlantic with him and his crew, I learn that his name is Captain Fennwick, and that my sole job would be to tell him jokes.
“This is Fulcrum. Transfer to Blue Line, Metra, and South Shore trains at Fulcrum.
This is a Red Line train to 45th.”
I get up after Lynne and follow her to the door of the train car. The second blizzard of the terrible winter has already begun. We both walk to the other side of the station and wait for the South Shore train to come.
Lynne is upset because Claire called her early in the morning and threatened to kill herself. She called from Italy, I believe that's what she said, and was looking for attention.
Lynne calmed her down but I don't think Claire showed any appreciation for her efforts, which in turn upset Lynne, making her realize that Claire is constantly unstable. Lynne, quite frankly, was tired of it. Tired of always being the first or second call, always being there, and then often mistreated in some way later on by her. I think it's kind of funny, she probably wishes she would do it already.
Last year, 2,268 people died from suicide each day. 827,820 a year, 68,040 a month, 17,010 a week, 94.5 an hour, 1.5 a minute. This leaves you with a suicide every forty seconds; and this is only for successful suicides, as much as twenty people will attempt it.
That means that today, every forty seconds, there will be a person who feels they do not have something or someone to live for. A person who is alone, the weight of the world on their shoulder, the heaviest crown, and has not a single person they feel they can connect to. Their attempt will be successful, and their success is basically a big “fuck you” to everyone they know. Your existence was not enough to save them. Did I mention that today is Christmas?
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We get on the train and take the nearest seats. Cerveza... Frankfort... Lincoln...
Argus... Leavenworth... Little Bay... I noticed that one of the final stops was called
“Cellardoor Lake.”
At Keneckie, we got off and switched to the Purple Line train. Suffolk... Hove Beach... Kennedy... Bohan... Yelowe was the closest stop to Emily's apartment, so we got off there and began walking through the ever-increasing snowfall. By this time, most of the taxis and most of the whores were only taking calls for cash.
“Wait, hold on,” I demanded, “I need to tie my shoes.” I kneel down and begin to tie my shoes, Lynne and I staring at eachother. “I'm almost done,” I said looking directly at her. The moment I finish tying them, the power on the other side of the street went out completely. Lynne and I both look in that direction in confusement, and it isn't too long until the power on our side of the street goes out as well. Every light; the street lights, building lights, house lights, Christmas lights.
In the darkness I saw Lynne's eyes become owl, “I can't see sheet!,” she exclaimed. I stand up and realize that not many things were too visible, then turn to her and smile in shadiness. The sudden of the darkness must have caused a slight freight in her vocal patterns because the way she said “shit” was flexed with an accent. “Sheet?” “I meant shit.” I laughed. We both turn our heads as a car drives past us, illuminating the area for a second or two then sending it back into darkness.
We continue walking in the direction we had been and I come up beside her and put my arm around her. I ran my hand up the side of her jacket, groping and fondling the skin of her waist. “Say it again,” I said. “...I can't see sheet...,” she replied. Her “accent”
excited me and as I moved my hand about her side I felt that she was wearing two pieces of undergarments.
We walk four more blocks and by that time we realize we are lost in the void of light.
She tries to observe surroundings but this is no help. After a while she takes out her cellular phone and dials her mother.
“Mom, we are lost. No, we got off at Yelowe. I didn't know that. Just tell us how to get there.” She removed the phone from her ear and requested that I find a street sign.
“We are on Emery and Creek. The store with the big orange sign? Yeah I see it. Okay...
Okay... Okay, we should be there in like twenty minutes.” She hung up the phone and told me we were supposed to get off at Union Drive. I call her an idiot. “Ediut.” I smiled.
We were there in ten. We journeyed to the fourth floor through the dark building and then knocked on Emily's door. Sara answered it, glasses and all, and when she saw us she was excited and revealed to us a chipped front tooth.
There was only one lit candle in the living room and one lit candle in the bathroom.
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punished him by making him stay in the bathroom, though by the time we got there it was almost time for him to be freed from his isolation. I've noticed that Dave is a boy who doesn't like being told he can or can't do certain things. This is both good and bad as a human characteristic.
“You should have taken the Red Line to Jacksonville, then taken the Brown Line to Union Drive,” Emily suggested. Now I know why Lynne calls it Jacksonville when it is actually just Jackson; she gets it from her mother. That's funny.
When Dave came out of the bathroom in a gloomy fashion, Lynne told them she brought gum for them, and they both then went over to her purse and collected it. I could hear them both chewing like goats and cows in the unquiet darkness. “Don't worry, the power will be back on soon,” Emily assured, “it's been doing this all day.”
In the corner of the darkness, Sara used her laptop computer, eventually inviting us all to come look at a reel of funny pictures. The backlight of the computer screen made visible everything that was within its grasp. Emily immediately noticed Lynne's wedding band and her black necklace, which elegantly adorned the déijà bride.
As she scrolled through the pictures the lights suddenly reappeared; the Christmas lights dawned like magic and the small Christmas tree revealed itself like a ninja; suddenly everything in the apartment could be readily observed.
There was only one Christmas gift given and received, a musical player for Dave and Sara. I don't think Emily was one for the holidays. I noticed that, in her apartment, she had no pictures, and the Christmas tree was put together in a spishak fashion. Very soon after the lights came back on, she left us and returned to the only other room in the apartment.
Think about what goes on right before and right after a posed photo is taken. You don't see the real parts, you only see the fake parts, because people are mostly superficial and shallow, especially when the spotlight is on them. Compare and contrast the attendance of your wedding and your funeral, that's when you will know who your friends really are.
I had this dream one time where I was in court. On the last day of the trial, the verdict was read. “We, the jury, find the defendant to be guilty of the charge at hand.” There were howls and screams of relief as the handcuffs were put on me. The families of my alleged victims declared death not a soluble solution for me, so I was to spend the rest of my natural life in solitude.
When I speak to the priest on the way to my cell, he tells me that in my eyes he has seen something he's never seen before in any person, chained or freed. He told me it was the look of defeat and salvation both in one, as if I had seen or figured out something no one else has.
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Life imprisonment. When you have no future, there is this illusion that anything is possible, as opposed to having a life plan and the illusion that a life plan can imprison you. After all, “man plans, God laughs.” Many of us tend to adopt Gods and plans.
When there was nothing left of the day, Dave went to the living room, to the couch, and pulled out its bed like a magic trick. The four of us prepared to dream and when Lynne asked for the remote, she was reminded that it no longer worked. She turned it on manually, but then learned that the channel buttons did not work properly, and the channel itself was stuck on a jazz station. She left it on because I think she and the kids usually used the television to aid them in falling asleep. I myself did not like it, I required complete silence and darkness to dream. Because the genre was jazz, however, it did not prevent me from falling asleep in due time.
After Sarah started snoring, Lynne made a small movement and said “Keek eh deh baul.” It made me smile and I'm sure she saw it, and I know she felt my wandering hand on the inside of her forearm under the covers. Her accent was a charm, it put me under her spell, the Vodou of a free spirited dired raven.
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Chapter 50
THE CHARM CITY
2:2:5:50
THREE years ago, a dream came to me in my sleep. The man of darkness, I followed him into an office building of one hundred and sixty-one stories and search every hallway and room I could find. It wasn't until I unlocked a room with the title of “=OW[[]]z^J”
and stepped inside that I found a place with hundreds of switches on the wall. Being overtaken, I hear the door close shut behind me and it locks.
In a far away corner there is a big screen with nothing on it, next to it a definition for the word “cleanslate,” and as I begin to walk toward it the door to the room opens. I wait, pending the visitor, and I am shocked when I see it is him. The man I have been looking for for all these wasted years.
He moves forward into the room and the door behind him shuts, then locks. It was immediately after this that a table was raised exactly in the center of the room. On it, there were two sets of six-sided dice; one black, one white. There were also two chairs that reflected the color of the dice.
Instinctively, the man in black sat in the black chair and took hold of the black dice, and following, I sat in the other and took hold of the others. On the table were instructions for a game entitled “Hazard.” The rules stated that white always rolled first.
“I see you are one who does not run from darkness. You follow it,” these were his first words to me since Seattle. My first to him, “They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick.”
I set the main to six. I roll the dice in my hand, and then onto the table. They land on three, and per the rules this means I have lost and the position of the caster is therefore transferred to Dice.
Dice made no expression as he grabbed the black dice; he put his arm forward and up into the air, said “seven,” then suddenly dropped them with his palm facing the table.
They land on four. Per the rules, he rolls again and they land on ten. Once more gives him two. He finally wins on the fourth throw when the dice land on four.
On his side of the table he received a score of 0.0.0.4.0.0 and was coursed to roll a new round, but before doing so, continued the conversation.
“I was not born like you, I was created from an experiment. In a city where angels dared, I was covered in darkness and withdrew my gun on a man casted in light. The scenario was created to test the entropy of man, and to see if he would act out of goodness or out of evil, where evil was the same as being idle. Because man had been given entropy, he was to be born into sin. Original sin. A sin that no matter how much light shines, will always be a part of him so long as he is allowed to govern his own 58 | THE CHARM CITY
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existence.”
“Are you suggesting that good and evil are bound to the notion of free will?” “Under the branch of phythics, yes. One can be neither good nor evil in a predetermined universe.