A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce - HTML preview

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Nobody spoke. He said again:

—I think there were more strangers down than last Christmas.

He looked round at the others whose faces were bent towards their plates and, receiving no reply, waited for a moment

and said bitterly:

—Well, my Christmas dinner has been spoiled anyhow.

—There could be neither luck nor grace, Dante said, in a house where there is no respect for the pastors of the church.

Mr Dedalus threw his knife and fork noisily on his plate.

—Respect! he said. Is it for Billy with the lip or for the tub of guts up in Armagh? Respect!

—Princes of the church, said Mr Casey with slow scorn.

—Lord Leitrim’s coachman, yes, said Mr Dedalus.

—They are the Lord’s anointed, Dante said. They are an honour to their country.

—Tub of guts, said Mr Dedalus coarsely. He has a handsome face, mind you, in repose. You should see that fellow

lapping up his bacon and cabbage of a cold winter’s day. O Johnny!

He twisted his features into a grimace of heavy bestiality and made a lapping noise with his lips.

—Really, Simon, you should not speak that way before Stephen. It’s not right.

—O, he’ll remember all this when he grows up, said Dante hotly—the language he heard against God and religion and

priests in his own home.

—Let him remember too, cried Mr Casey to her from across the table, the language with which the priests and the

priests' pawns broke Parnell’s heart and hounded him into his grave. Let him remember that too when he grows up.

—Sons of bitches! cried Mr Dedalus. When he was down they turned on him to betray him and rend him like rats in a

sewer. Low–lived dogs! And they look it! By Christ, they look it!

—They behaved rightly, cried Dante. They obeyed their bishops and their priests. Honour to them!

—Well, it is perfectly dreadful to say that not even for one day in the year, said Mrs Dedalus, can we be free from these

dreadful disputes!

Uncle Charles raised his hands mildly and said:

—Come now, come now, come now! Can we not have our opinions whatever they are without this bad temper and this

bad language? It is too bad surely.

Mrs Dedalus spoke to Dante in a low voice but Dante said loudly:

—I will not say nothing. I will defend my church and my religion when it is insulted and spit on by renegade catholics.

Mr Casey pushed his plate rudely into the middle of the table and, resting his elbows before him, said in a hoarse voice

to his host:

—Tell me, did I tell you that story about a very famous spit?

—You did not, John, said Mr Dedalus.

—Why then, said Mr Casey, it is a most instructive story. It happened not long ago in the county Wicklow where we are

now.

He broke off and, turning towards Dante, said with quiet indignation:

—And I may tell you, ma’am, that I, if you mean me, am no renegade catholic. I am a catholic as my father was and his

father before him and his father before him again, when we gave up our lives rather than sell our faith.

—The more shame to you now, Dante said, to speak as you do.

—The story, John, said Mr Dedalus smiling. Let us have the story anyhow.

—Catholic indeed! repeated Dante ironically. The blackest protestant in the land would not speak the language I have

heard this evening.

Mr Dedalus began to sway his head to and fro, crooning like a country singer.

—I am no protestant, I tell you again, said Mr Casey, flushing.

Mr Dedalus, still crooning and swaying his head, began to sing in a grunting nasal tone:

O, come all you Roman catholics

That never went to mass.

He took up his knife and fork again in good humour and set to eating, saying to Mr Casey:

—Let us have the story, John. It will help us to digest.

Stephen looked with affection at Mr Casey’s face which stared across the table over his joined hands. He liked to sit

near him at the fire, looking up at his dark fierce face. But his dark eyes were never fierce and his slow voice was good

to listen to. But why was he then against the priests? Because Dante must be right then. But he had heard his father say

that she was a spoiled nun and that she had come out of the convent in the Alleghanies when her brother had got the

money from the savages for the trinkets and the chainies. Perhaps that made her severe against Parnell. And she did not

like him to play with Eileen because Eileen was a protestant and when she was young she knew children that used to

play with protestants and the protestants used to make fun of the litany of the Blessed Virgin. TOWER OF IVORY, they

used to say, HOUSE OF GOLD! How could a woman be a tower of ivory or a house of gold? Who was right then? And

he remembered the evening in the infirmary in Clongowes, the dark waters, the light at the pierhead and the moan of

sorrow from the people when they had heard.

Eileen had long white hands. One evening when playing tig she had put her hands over his eyes: long and white and

thin and cold and soft. That was ivory: a cold white thing. That was the meaning of TOWER OF IVORY.

—The story is very short and sweet, Mr Casey said. It was one day down in Arklow, a cold bitter day, not long before

the chief died. May God have mercy on him!

He closed his eyes wearily and paused. Mr Dedalus took a bone from his plate and tore some meat from it with his

teeth, saying:

—Before he was killed, you mean.

Mr Casey opened his eyes, sighed and went on:

—It was down in Arklow one day. We were down there at a meeting and after the meeting was over we had to make

our way to the railway station through the crowd. Such booing and baaing, man, you never heard. They called us all the

names in the world. Well there was one old lady, and a drunken old harridan she was surely, that paid all her attention to

me. She kept dancing along beside me in the mud bawling and screaming into my face: PRIEST–HUNTER! THE PARIS

FUNDS! MR FOX! KITTY O’SHEA!

—And what did you do, John? asked Mr Dedalus.

—I let her bawl away, said Mr Casey. It was a cold day and to keep up my heart I had (saving your presence, ma’am) a

quid of Tullamore in my mouth and sure I couldn’t say a word in any case because my mouth was full of tobacco juice.

—Well, John?

—Well. I let her bawl away, to her heart’s content, KITTY O’SHEA and the rest of it till at last she called that lady a

name that I won’t sully this Christmas board nor your ears, ma’am, nor my own lips by repeating.

He paused. Mr Dedalus, lifting his head from the bone, asked:

—And what did you do, John?

—Do! said Mr Casey. She stuck her ugly old face up at me when she said it and I had my mouth full of tobacco juice. I

bent down to her and PHTH! says I to her like that.

He turned aside and made the act of spitting.

—PHTH! says I to her like that, right into her eye.

He clapped his hand to his eye and gave a hoarse scream of pain.

—O JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH! says she. I’M BLINDED! I’M BLINDED AND DROWNDED!

He stopped in a fit of coughing and laughter, repeating:

—I’M BLINDED ENTIRELY.

Mr Dedalus laughed loudly and lay back in his chair while uncle Charles swayed his head to and fro.

Dante looked terribly angry and repeated while they laughed:

—Very nice! Ha! Very nice!

It was not nice about the spit in the woman’s eye.

But what was the name the woman had called Kitty O’Shea that Mr Casey would not repeat? He thought of Mr Casey

walking through the crowds of people and making speeches from a wagonette. That was what he had been in prison for

and he remembered that one night Sergeant O’Neill had come to the house and had stood in the hall, talking in a low

voice with his father and chewing nervously at the chinstrap of his cap. And that night Mr Casey had not gone to Dublin

by train but a car had come to the door and he had heard his father say something about the Cabinteely road.

He was for Ireland and Parnell and so was his father: and so was Dante too for one night at the band on the esplanade

she had hit a gentleman on the head with her umbrella because he had taken off his hat when the band played GOD

SAVE THE QUEEN at the end.

Mr Dedalus gave a snort of contempt.

—Ah, John, he said. It is true for them. We are an unfortunate priest–ridden race and always were and always will be

till the end of the chapter.

Uncle Charles shook his head, saying:

—A bad business! A bad business!

Mr Dedalus repeated:

—A priest–ridden Godforsaken race!

He pointed to the portrait of his grandfather on the wall to his right.

—Do you see that old chap up there, John? he said. He was a good Irishman when there was no money in the job. He

was condemned to death as a whiteboy. But he had a saying about our clerical friends, that he would never let one of

them put his two feet under his mahogany.

Dante broke in angrily:

—If we are a priest–ridden race we ought to be proud of it! They are the apple of God’s eye. TOUCH THEM NOT,

says Christ, FOR THEY ARE THE APPLE OF MY EYE.

—And can we not love our country then? asked Mr Casey. Are we not to follow the man that was born to lead us?

—A traitor to his country! replied Dante. A traitor, an adulterer! The priests were right to abandon him. The priests were

always the true friends of Ireland.

—Were they, faith? said Mr Casey.

He threw his fist on the table and, frowning angrily, protruded one finger after another.

—Didn’t the bishops of Ireland betray us in the time of the union when Bishop Lanigan presented an address of loyalty

to the Marquess Cornwallis? Didn’t the bishops and priests sell the aspirations of their country in 1829 in return for

catholic emancipation? Didn’t they denounce the fenian movement from the pulpit and in the confession box? And didn’t

they dishonour the ashes of Terence Bellew MacManus?

His face was glowing with anger and Stephen felt the glow rise to his own cheek as the spoken words thrilled him. Mr

Dedalus uttered a guffaw of coarse scorn.

—O, by God, he cried, I forgot little old Paul Cullen! Another apple of God’s eye!

Dante bent across the table and cried to Mr Casey:

—Right! Right! They were always right! God and morality and religion come first.

Mrs Dedalus, seeing her excitement, said to her:

—Mrs Riordan, don’t excite yourself answering them.

—God and religion before everything! Dante cried. God and religion before the world.

Mr Casey raised his clenched fist and brought it down on the table with a crash.

—Very well then, he shouted hoarsely, if it comes to that, no God for Ireland!

—John! John! cried Mr Dedalus, seizing his guest by the coat sleeve.

Dante stared across the table, her cheeks shaking. Mr Casey struggled up from his chair and bent across the table

towards her, scraping the air from before his eyes with one hand as though he were tearing aside a cobweb.

—No God for Ireland! he cried. We have had too much God In Ireland. Away with God!

—Blasphemer! Devil! screamed Dante, starting to her feet and almost spitting in his face.

Uncle Charles and Mr Dedalus pulled Mr Casey back into his chair again, talking to him from both sides reasonably. He

stared before him out of his dark flaming eyes, repeating:

—Away with God, I say!

Dante shoved her chair violently aside and left the table, upsetting her napkin–ring which rolled slowly along the carpet

and came to rest against the foot of an easy–chair. Mrs Dedalus rose quickly and followed her towards the door. At the

door Dante turned round violently and shouted down the room, her cheeks flushed and quivering with rage:

—Devil out of hell! We won! We crushed him to death! Fiend!

The door slammed behind her.

Mr Casey, freeing his arms from his holders, suddenly bowed his head on his hands with a sob of pain.

—Poor Parnell! he cried loudly. My dead king!

He sobbed loudly and bitterly.

Stephen, raising his terror–stricken face, saw that his father’s eyes were full of tears.

*

The fellows talked together in little groups.

One fellow said:

—They were caught near the Hill of Lyons.

—Who caught them?

—Mr Gleeson and the minister. They were on a car. The same fellow added:

—A fellow in the higher line told me.

Fleming asked:

—But why did they run away, tell us?

—I know why, Cecil Thunder said. Because they had fecked cash out of the rector’s room.

—Who fecked it?

—Kickham’s brother. And they all went shares in it.

—But that was stealing. How could they have done that?

—A fat lot you know about it, Thunder! Wells said. I know why they scut.

—Tell us why.

—I was told not to, Wells said.

—O, go on, Wells, all said. You might tell us. We won’t let it out.

Stephen bent forward his head to hear. Wells looked round to see if anyone was coming. Then he said secretly:

—You know the altar wine they keep in the press in the sacristy?

—Yes.

—Well, they drank that and it was found out who did it by the smell. And that’s why they ran away, if you want to know.

And the fellow who had spoken first said:

—Yes, that’s what I heard too from the fellow in the higher line.

The fellows all were silent. Stephen stood among them, afraid to speak, listening. A faint sickness of awe made him feel

weak. How could they have done that? He thought of the dark silent sacristy. There were dark wooden presses there

where the crimped surplices lay quietly folded. It was not the chapel but still you had to speak under your breath. It was a

holy place. He remembered the summer evening he had been there to be dressed as boatbearer, the evening of the

Procession to the little altar in the wood. A strange and holy place. The boy that held the censer had swung it lifted by

the middle chain to keep the coals lighting. That was called charcoal: and it had burned quietly as the fellow had swung it

gently and had given off a weak sour smell. And then when all were vested he had stood holding out the boat to the

rector and the rector had put a spoonful of incense in it and it had hissed on the red coals.

The fellows were talking together in little groups here and there on the playground. The fellows seemed to him to have

grown smaller: that was because a sprinter had knocked him down the day before, a fellow out of second of grammar.

He had been thrown by the fellow’s machine lightly on the cinder path and his spectacles had been broken in three

pieces and some of the grit of the cinders had gone into his mouth.

That was why the fellows seemed to him smaller and farther away and the goalposts so thin and far and the soft grey

sky so high up. But there was no play on the football grounds for cricket was coming: and some said that Barnes would

be prof and some said it would be Flowers. And all over the playgrounds they were playing rounders and bowling

twisters and lobs. And from here and from there came the sounds of the cricket bats through the soft grey air. They said:

pick, pack, pock, puck: little drops of water in a fountain slowly falling in the brimming bowl.

Athy, who had been silent, said quietly:

—You are all wrong.

All turned towards him eagerly.

—Why?

—Do you know?

—Who told you?

—Tell us, Athy.

Athy pointed across the playground to where Simon Moonan was walking by himself kicking a stone before him.

—Ask him, he said.

The fellows looked there and then said:

—Why him?

—Is he in it?

Athy lowered his voice and said:

—Do you know why those fellows scut? I will tell you but you must not let on you know.

—Tell us, Athy. Go on. You might if you know.

He paused for a moment and then said mysteriously:

—They were caught with Simon Moonan and Tusker Boyle in the square one night.

The fellows looked at him and asked:

—Caught?

—What doing?

Athy said:

—Smugging.

All the fellows were silent: and Athy said:

—And that’s why.

Stephen looked at the faces of the fellows but they were all looking across the playground. He wanted to ask

somebody about it. What did that mean about the smugging in the square? Why did the five fellows out of the higher line

run away for that? It was a joke, he thought. Simon Moonan had nice clothes and one night he had shown him a ball of

creamy sweets that the fellows of the football fifteen had rolled down to him along the carpet in the middle of the

refectory when he was at the door. It was the night of the match against the Bective Rangers; and the ball was made just

like a red and green apple only it opened and it was full of the creamy sweets. And one day Boyle had said that an

elephant had two tuskers instead of two tusks and that was why he was called Tusker Boyle but some fellows called him

Lady Boyle because he was always at his nails, paring them.

Eileen had long thin cool white hands too because she was a girl. They were like ivory; only soft. That was the

meaning of TOWER OF IVORY but protestants could not understand it and made fun of it. One day he had stood beside

her looking into the hotel grounds. A waiter was running up a trail of bunting on the flagstaff and a fox terrier was

scampering to and fro on the sunny lawn. She had put her hand into his pocket where his hand was and he had felt how

cool and thin and soft her hand was. She had said that pockets were funny things to have: and then all of a sudden she

had broken away and had run laughing down the sloping curve of the path. Her fair hair had streamed out behind her like

gold in the sun. TOWER OF IVORY. HOUSE OF GOLD. By thinking of things you could understand them.

But why in the square? You went there when you wanted to do something. It was all thick slabs of slate and water

trickled all day out of tiny pinholes and there was a queer smell of stale water there. And behind the door of one of the

closets there was a drawing in red pencil of a bearded man in a Roman dress with a brick in each hand and underneath

was the name of the drawing:

Balbus was building a wall.

Some fellow had drawn it there for a cod. It had a funny face but it was very like a man with a beard. And on the wall of

another closet there was written in backhand in beautiful writing:

Julius Caesar wrote The Calico Belly.

Perhaps that was why they were there because it was a place where some fellows wrote things for cod. But all the

same it was queer what Athy said and the way he said it. It was not a cod because they had run away. He looked with

the others across the playground and began to feel afraid.

At last Fleming said:

—And we are all to be punished for what other fellows did?

—I won’t come back, see if I do, Cecil Thunder said. Three days' silence in the refectory and sending us up for six and

eight every minute.

—Yes, said Wells. And old Barrett has a new way of twisting the note so that you can’t open it and fold it again to see

how many ferulae you are to get. I won’t come back too.

—Yes, said Cecil Thunder, and the prefect of studies was in second of grammar this morning.

—Let us get up a rebellion, Fleming said. Will we?

All the fellows were silent. The air was very silent and you could hear the cricket bats but more slowly than before: pick,

pock.

Wells asked:

—What is going to be done to them?

—Simon Moonan and Tusker are going to be flogged, Athy said, and the fellows in the higher line got their choice of

flogging or being expelled.

—And which are they taking? asked the fellow who had spoken first.

—All are taking expulsion except Corrigan, Athy answered. He’s going to be flogged by Mr Gleeson.

—I know why, Cecil Thunder said. He is right and the other fellows are wrong because a flogging wears off after a bit

but a fellow that has been expelled from college is known all his life on account of it. Besides Gleeson won’t flog him

hard.

—It’s best of his play not to, Fleming said.

—I wouldn’t like to be Simon Moonan and Tusker Cecil Thunder said. But I don’t believe they will be flogged. Perhaps

they will be sent up for twice nine.

—No, no, said Athy. They’ll both get it on the vital spot. Wells rubbed himself and said in a crying voice:

—Please, sir, let me off!

Athy grinned and turned up the sleeves of his jacket, saying:

It can’t be helped;

It must be done.

So down with your breeches

And out with your bum.

The fellows laughed; but he felt that they were a little afraid. In the silence of the soft grey air he heard the cricket bats

from here and from there: pock. That was a sound to hear but if you were hit then you would feel a pain. The pandybat

made a sound too but not like that. The fellows said it was made of whalebone and leather with lead inside: and he

wondered what was the pain like. There were different kinds of sounds. A long thin cane would have a high whistling

sound and he wondered what was that pain like. It made him shivery to think of it and cold: and what Athy said too. But

what was there to laugh at in it? It made him shivery: but that was because you always felt like a shiver when you let

down your trousers. It was the same in the bath when you undressed yourself. He wondered who had to let them down,

the master or the boy himself. O how could they laugh about it that way?

He looked at Athy’s rolled–up sleeves and knuckly inky hands. He had rolled up his sleeves to show how Mr Gleeson

would roll up his sleeves. But Mr Gleeson had round shiny cuffs and clean white wrists and fattish white hands and the

nails of them were long and pointed. Perhaps he pared them too like Lady Boyle. But they were terribly long and pointed

nails. So long and cruel they were, though the white fattish hands were not cruel but gentle. And though he trembled with

cold and fright to think of the cruel long nails and of the high whistling sound of the cane and of the chill you felt at the

end of your shirt when you undressed yourself yet he felt a feeling of queer quiet pleasure inside him to think of the white

fattish hands, clean and strong and gentle. And he thought of what Cecil Thunder had said: that Mr Gleeson would not

flog Corrigan hard. And Fleming had said he would not because it was best of his play not to. But that was not why

A voice from far out on the playground cried:

—All in!

And other voices cried:

—All in! All in!

During the writing lesson he sat with his arms folded, listening to the slow scraping of the pens. Mr Harford went to and

fro making little signs in red pencil and sometimes sitting beside the boy to show him how to hold his pen. He had tried to

spell out the headline for himself though he knew already what it was for it was the last of the book. ZEAL WITHOUT

PRUDENCE IS LIKE A SHIP ADRIFT. But the lines of the letters were like fine invisible threads and it was only by

closing his right eye tight and staring out of the left eye that he could make out the full curves of the capital.

But Mr Harford was very decent and never got into a wax. All the other masters got into dreadful waxes. But why were

they to suffer for what fellows in the higher line did? Wells had said that they had drunk some of the altar wine out of the

press in the sacristy and that it had been found out who had done it by the smell. Perhaps they had stolen a monstrance

to run away with and sell it somewhere. That must have been a terrible sin, to go in there quietly at night, to open the

dark press and steal the flashing gold thing into which God was put on the altar in the middle of flowers and candles at

benediction while the incense went up in clouds at both sides as the fellow swung the censer and Dominic Kelly sang the

first part by himself in the choir. But God was not in it of course when they stole it. But still it was a strange and a great

sin even to touch it. He thought of it with deep awe; a terrible and strange sin: it thrilled him to think of it in the silence

when the pens scraped lightly. But to drink the altar wine out of the press and be found out by the smell was a sin too:

but it was not terrible and strange. It only made you feel a little sickish on account of the smell of the wine. Because on

the day when he had made his first holy communion in the chapel he had shut his eyes and opened his mouth and put

out his tongue a little: and when the rector had stooped down to give him the holy communion he had smelt a faint winy

smell off the rector’s breath after the wine of the mass. The word was beautiful: wine. It made you think of dark purple

because the grapes were dark purple that grew in Greece outside houses like white temples. But the faint smell of the

rector’s breath had made him feel a sick feeling on the morning of his first communion. The day of your first communion

was the happiest day of your life. And once a lot of generals had asked Napoleon what was the happiest day of his life.

They thought he would say the day he won some great battle or the day he was made an emperor. But he said:

—Gentlemen, the happiest day of my life was the day on which I made my first holy communion.

Father Arnall came in and the Latin lesson began and he remained still, leaning on the desk with his arms folded.

Father Arnall gave out the theme–books and he said that they were scandalous and that they were all to be written out

again with the corrections at once. But the worst of all was Fleming’s theme because the pages were stuck together by a

blot: and Father Arnall held it up by a corner and said it was an insult to any master to send him up such a theme. Then

he asked Jack Lawton to decline the noun MARE and Jack Lawton stopped at the ablative singular and could not go on

with the plural.

—You should be ashamed of yourself, said Father Arnall sternly. You, the leader of the class!

Then he asked the next boy and the next and the next. Nobody knew. Father Arnall became very quiet, more and more

quiet as each boy tried to answer it and could not. But his face was black–looking and his eyes were staring though his

voice was so quiet. Then he asked Fleming and Fleming said that the word had no plural. Father Arnall suddenly shut

the book and shouted at him:

—Kneel out there in the middle of the class. You are one of the idlest boys I ever met. Copy out your themes again the

rest of you.

Fleming moved heavily out of his place and knelt between the two last benches. The other boys bent over their theme–

books and began to write. A silence filled the classroom and Stephen, glancing timidly at Father Arnall’s dark face, saw

that it was a little red from the wax he was in.

Was that a sin for Father Arnall to be in a wax or was he allowed to get into a wax when the boys were idle because

that made them study better or was he only letting on to be in a wax? It was because he was allowed, because a priest

would know what a sin was and would not do it. But if he did it one time by mistake what would he do to go to

confession? Perhaps he would go to confession to the minister. And if the minister did it he would go to the rector: and

the rector to the provincial: and the provincial to the general of the jesuits. That was called the order: and he had heard

his father say that they were all clever men. They could all have become high–up people in the world if they had not

become jesuits. And he wondered what Father Arnall and Paddy Barrett would have become and what Mr McGlade and

Mr Gleeson would have become if they had not become jesuits. It was hard to think what because you would have to

think of them in a different way with different coloured coats and trousers and with beards and moustaches and different

kinds of hats.

The door opened quietly and closed. A quick whisper ran through the class: the prefect of studies. There was an

instant of dead silence and then the loud crack of a pandybat on the last desk. Stephen’s heart leapt up in fear.

—Any boys want flogging here, Father Arnall? cried the prefect of studies. Any lazy idle loafers that want flogging in this

class?

He came to the middle of the class and saw Fleming on his knees.

—Hoho! he cried. Who is this boy? Why is he on his knees? What is your name, boy?

—Fleming, sir.

—Hoho, Fleming! An idler of course. I can see it in your eye. Why is he on his knees, Father Arnall?

—He wrote a bad Latin theme, Father Arnall said, and he missed all the questions in grammar.

—Of course he did! cried the prefect of studies, of course he did! A born idler! I can see it in the corner of his eye.

He banged his pandybat down on the desk and cried:

—Up, Fleming! Up, my boy!

Fleming stood up slowly.

—Hold out! cried the prefect of studies.

Fleming held out his hand. The pandybat came down on it with a loud smacking sound: one, two, three, four, five, six.

—Other hand!

The pandybat came down again in six loud quick smacks.

—Kneel down! cried the prefect of studies.

Fleming knelt down, squeezing his hands under his armpits, his face contorted with pain; but Stephen knew how hard

his hands were because Fleming was always rubbing rosin into them. But perhaps he was in great pain for the noise of

the pandybat was terrible. Stephen’s heart was beating and fluttering.

—At your work, all of you! shouted the prefect of studies. We want no lazy idle loafers here, lazy idle little schemers. At

your work, I tell you. Father Dolan will be in to see you every day. Father Dolan will be in tomorrow.

He poked one of the boys in the side with his pandybat, saying:

—You, boy! When will Father Dolan be in again?

—Tomorrow, sir, said Tom Furlong’s voice.

—Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, said the prefect of studies. Make up your minds for that. Every day Father

Dolan. Write away. You, boy, who are you?

Stephen’s heart jumped suddenly.

—Dedalus, sir.

—Why are you not writing like the others?

—I…my…

He could not speak with fright.

—Why is he not writing, Father Arnall?

—He broke his glasses, said Father Arnall, and I exempted him from work.

—Broke? What is this I hear? What is this your name is! said the prefect of studies.

—Dedalus, sir.

—Out here, Dedalus. Lazy little schemer. I see schemer in your face. Where did you break your glasses?

Stephen stumbled into the middle of the class, blinded by fear and haste.

—Where did you break your glasses? repeated the prefect of studies.

—The cinder–path, sir.

—Hoho! The cinder–path! cried the prefect of studies. I know that trick.

Stephen lifted his eyes in wonder and saw for a moment Father Dolan’s white–grey not young face, his baldy white–

grey head with fluff at the sides of it, the steel rims of his spectacles and his no–coloured eyes looking through the

glasses. Why did he say he knew that trick?

—Lazy idle little loafer! cried the prefect of studies. Broke my glasses! An old schoolboy trick! Out with your hand this

moment!

Stephen closed his eyes and held out in the air his trembling hand with the palm upwards. He felt the prefect of studies

touch it for a moment at the fingers to straighten it and then the swish of the sleeve of the soutane as the pandybat was

lifted to strike. A hot burning stinging tingling blow like the loud crack of a broken stick made his trembling hand crumple

together like a leaf in the fire: and at the sound and the pain scalding tears were driven into his eyes. His whole body

was shaking with fright, his arm was shaking and his crumpled burning livid hand shook like a loose leaf in the air. A cry

sprang to his lips, a prayer to be let off. But though the tears scalded his eyes and his limbs quivered with pain and fright

he held back the hot tears and the cry that scalded his throat.

—Other hand! shouted the prefect of studies.

Stephen drew back his maimed and quivering right arm and held out his left hand. The soutane sleeve swished again

as the pandybat was lifted and a loud crashing sound and a fierce maddening tingling burning pain made his hand shrink

together with the palms and fingers in a livid quivering mass. The scalding water burst forth from his eyes and, burning

with shame and agony and fear, he drew back his shaking arm in terror and burst out into a whine of pain. His body

shook with a palsy of fright and in shame and rage he felt the scalding cry come from his throat and the scalding tears

falling out of his eyes and down his flaming cheeks.

—Kneel down, cried the prefect of studies.

Stephen knelt down quickly pressing his beaten hands to his sides. To think of them beaten and swollen with pain all in

a moment made him feel so sorry for them as if they were not his own but someone else’s that he felt sorry for. And as he

knelt, calming the last sobs in his throat and feeling the burning tingling pain pressed into his sides, he thought of the

hands which he had held out in the air with the palms up and of the firm touch of the prefect of studies when he had

steadied the shaking fingers and of the beaten swollen reddened mass of palm and fingers that shook helplessly in the

air.

—Get at your work, all of you, cried the prefect of studies from the door. Father Dolan will be in every day to see if any

boy, any lazy idle little loafer wants flogging. Every day. Every day.

The door closed behind him.

The hushed class continued to copy out the themes. Father Arnall rose from his seat and went among them, helping

the boys with gentle words and telling them the mistakes they had made. His voice was very gentle and soft. Then he

returned to his seat and said to Fleming and Stephen:

—You may return to your places, you two.

Fleming and Stephen rose and, walking to their seats, sat down. Stephen, scarlet with shame, opened a book quickly

with one weak hand and bent down upon it, his face close to the page.

It was unfair and cruel because the doctor had told him not to read without glasses and he had written home to his

father that morning to send him a new pair. And Father Arnall had said that he need not study till the new glasses came.

Then to be called a schemer before the class and to be pandied when he always got the card for first or second and was

the leader of the Yorkists! How could the prefect of studies know that it was a trick? He felt the touch of the prefect’s

fingers as they had steadied his hand and at first he had thought he was going to shake hands with him because the

fingers were soft and firm: but then in an instant he had heard the swish of the soutane sleeve and the crash. It was cruel

and unfair to make him kneel in the middle of the class then: and Father Arnall had told them both that they might return

to their places without making any difference between them. He listened to Father Arnall’s low and gentle voice as he

corrected the themes. Perhaps he was sorry now and wanted to be decent. But it was unfair and cruel. The prefect of

studies was a priest but that was cruel and unfair. And his white–grey face and the no–coloured eyes behind the steel–

rimmed spectacles were cruel looking because he had steadied the hand first with his firm soft fingers and that was to hit

it better and louder.

—It’s a stinking mean thing, that’s what it is, said Fleming in the corridor as the classes were passing out in file to the

refectory, to pandy a fellow for what is not his fault.

—You really broke your glasses by accident, didn’t you? Nasty Roche asked.

Stephen felt his heart filled by Fleming’s words and did not answer.

—Of course he did! said Fleming. I wouldn’t stand it. I’d go up and tell the rector on him.

—Yes, said Cecil Thunder eagerly, and I saw him lift the pandy–bat over his shoulder and he’s not allowed to do that.

—Did they hurt you much? Nasty Roche asked.

—Very much, Stephen said.

—I wouldn’t stand it, Fleming repeated, from Baldyhead or any other Baldyhead. It’s a stinking mean low trick, that’s

what it is. I’d go straight up to the rector and tell him about it after dinner.

—Yes, do. Yes, do, said Cecil Thunder.

—Yes, do. Yes, go up and tell the rector on him, Dedalus, said Nasty Roche, because he said that he’d come in

tomorrow again and pandy you.

—Yes, yes. Tell the rector, all said.

And there were some fellows out of second of grammar listening and one of them said:

—The senate and the Roman people declared that Dedalus had been wrongly punished.

It was wrong; it was unfair and cruel; and, as he sat in the refectory, he suffered time after time in memory the same

humiliation until he began to wonder whether it might not really be that there was something in his face which made him

look like a schemer and he wished he had a little mirror to see. But there could not be; and it was unjust and cruel and

unfair.

He could not eat the blackish fish fritters they got on Wednesdays in lent and one of his potatoes had the mark of the

spade in it. Yes, he would do what the fellows had told him. He would go up and tell the rector that he had been wrongly

punished. A thing like that had been done before by somebody in history, by some great person whose head was in the

books of history. And the rector would declare that he had been wrongly punished because the senate and the Roman

people always declared that the men who did that had been wrongly punished. Those were the great men whose names

were in Richmal Magnall’s Questions. History was all about those men and what they did and that was what Peter

Parley’s Tales about Greece and Rome were all about. Peter Parley himself was on the first page in a picture. There

was a road over a heath with grass at the side and little bushes: and Peter Parley had a broad hat like a protestant

minister and a big stick and he was walking fast along the road to Greece and Rome.

It was easy what he had to do. All he had to do was when the dinner was over and he came out in his turn to go on

walking but not out to the corridor but up the staircase on the right that led to the castle. He had nothing to do but that: to

turn to the right and walk fast up the staircase and in half a minute he would be in the low dark narrow corridor that led

through the castle to the rector’s room. And every fellow had said that it was unfair, even the fellow out of second of

grammar who had said that about the senate and the Roman people.

What would happen?

He heard the fellows of the higher line stand up at the top of the refectory and heard their steps as they came down the

matting: Paddy Rath and Jimmy Magee and the Spaniard and the Portuguese and the fifth was big Corrigan who was

going to be flogged by Mr Gleeson. That was why the prefect of studies had called him a schemer and pandied him for

nothing: and, straining his weak eyes, tired with the tears, he watched big Corrigan’s broad shoulders and big hanging

black head passing in the file. But he had done something and besides Mr Gleeson would not flog him hard: and he

remembered how big Corrigan looked in the bath. He had skin the same colour as the turf–coloured bogwater in the

shallow end of the bath and when he walked along the side his feet slapped loudly on the wet tiles and at every step his

thighs shook a little because he was fat.

The refectory was half empty and the fellows were still passing out in file. He could go up the staircase because there

was never a priest or a prefect outside the refectory door. But he could not go. The rector would side with the prefect of

studies and think it was a schoolboy trick and then the prefect of studies would come in every day the same, only it

would be worse because he would be dreadfully waxy at any fellow going up to the rector about him. The fellows had

told him to go but they would not go themselves. They had forgotten all about it. No, it was best to forget all about it and

perhaps the prefect of studies had only said he would come in. No, it was best to hide out of the way because when you

were small and young you could often escape that way.

The fellows at his table stood up. He stood up and passed out among them in the file. He had to decide. He was

coming near the door. If he went on with the fellows he could never go up to the rector because he could not leave the

playground for that. And if he went and was pandied all the same all the fellows would make fun and talk about young

Dedalus going up to the rector to tell on the prefect of studies.

He was walking down along the matting and he saw the door before him. It was impossible: he could not. He thought of

the baldy head of the prefect of studies with the cruel no–coloured eyes looking at him and he heard the voice of the

prefect of studies asking him twice what his name was. Why could he not remember the name when he was told the first

time? Was he not listening the first time or was it to make fun out of the name? The great men in the history had names

like that and nobody made fun of them. It was his own name that he should have made fun of if he wanted to make fun.

Dolan: it was like the name of a woman who washed clothes.

He had reached the door and, turning quickly up to the right, walked up the stairs and, before he could make up his

mind to come back, he had entered the low dark narrow corridor that led to the castle. And as he crossed the threshold

of the door of the corridor he saw, without turning his head to look, that all the fellows were looking after him as they

went filing by.

He passed along the narrow dark corridor, passing little doors that were the doors of the rooms of the community. He

peered in front of him and right and left through the gloom and thought that those must be portraits. It was dark and silent

and his eyes were weak and tired with tears so that he could not see. But he thought they were the portraits of the saints

and great men of the order who were looking down on him silently as he passed: saint Ignatius Loyola holding an open

book and pointing to the words AD MAJOREM DEI GLORIAM in it; saint Francis Xavier pointing to his chest; Lorenzo

Ricci with his berretta on his head like one of the prefects of the lines, the three patrons of holy youth—saint Stanislaus

Kostka, saint Aloysius Gonzago, and Blessed John Berchmans, all with young faces because they died when they were

young, and Father Peter Kenny sitting in a chair wrapped in a big cloak.

He came out on the landing above the entrance hall and looked about him. That was where Hamilton Rowan had

passed and the marks of the soldiers' slugs were there. And it was there that the old servants had seen the ghost in the

white cloak of a marshal.

An old servant was sweeping at the end of the landing. He asked him where was the rector’s room and the old servant

pointed to the door at the far end and looked after him as he went on to it and knocked.

There was no answer. He knocked again more loudly and his heart jumped when he heard a muffled voice say:

—Come in!

He turned the handle and opened the door and fumbled for the handle of the green baize door inside. He found it and

pushed it open and went in.

He saw the rector sitting at a desk writing. There was a skull on the desk and a strange solemn smell in the room like

the old leather of chairs.

His heart was beating fast on account of the solemn place he was in and the silence of the room: and he looked at the

skull and at the rector’s kind–looking face.

—Well, my little man, said the rector, what is it?

Stephen swallowed down the thing in his throat and said:

—I broke my glasses, sir.

The rector opened his mouth and said:

—O!

Then he smiled and said:

—Well, if we broke our glasses we must write home for a new pair.

—I wrote home, sir, said Stephen, and Father Arnall said I am not to study till they come.

—Quite right! said the rector.

Stephen swallowed down the thing again and tried to keep his legs and his voice from shaking.

—But, sir—

—Yes?

—Father Dolan came in today and pandied me because I was not writing my theme.

The rector looked at him in silence and he could feel the blood rising to his face and the tears about to rise to his eyes.

The rector said:

—Your name is Dedalus, isn’t it?

—Yes, sir…

—And where did you break your glasses?

—On the cinder–path, sir. A fellow was coming out of the bicycle house and I fell and they got broken. I don’t know the

fellow’s name.

The rector looked at him again in silence. Then he smiled and said:

—O, well, it was a mistake; I am sure Father Dolan did not know.

—But I told him I broke them, sir, and he pandied me.

—Did you tell him that you had written home for a new pair? the rector asked.

—No, sir.

—O well then, said the rector, Father Dolan did not understand. You can say that I excuse you from your lessons for a

few days.

Stephen said quickly for fear his trembling would prevent him:

—Yes, sir, but Father Dolan said he will come in tomorrow to pandy me again for it.

—Very well, the rector said, it is a mistake and I shall speak to Father Dolan myself. Will that do now?

Stephen felt the tears wetting his eyes and murmured:

—O yes sir, thanks.

The rector held his hand across the side of the desk where the skull was and Stephen, placing his hand in it for a

moment, felt a cool moist palm.

—Good day now, said the rector, withdrawing his hand and bowing.

—Good day, sir, said Stephen.

He bowed and walked quietly out of the room, closing the doors carefully and slowly.

But when he had passed the old servant on the landing and was again in the low narrow dark corridor he began to

walk faster and faster. Faster and faster he hurried on through the gloom excitedly. He bumped his elbow against the

door at the end and, hurrying down the staircase, walked quickly through the two corridors and out into the air.

He could hear the cries of the fellows on the playgrounds. He broke into a run and, running quicker and quicker, ran

across the cinderpath and reached the third line playground, panting.

The fellows had seen him running. They closed round him in a ring, pushing one against another to hear.

—Tell us! Tell us!

—What did he say?

—Did you go in?

—What did he say?

—Tell us! Tell us!

He told them what he had said and what the rector had said and, when he had told them, all the fellows flung their caps

spinning up into the air and cried:

—Hurroo!

They caught their caps and sent them up again spinning sky–high and cried again:

—Hurroo! Hurroo!

They made a cradle of their locked hands and hoisted him up among them and carried him along till he struggled to get

free. And when he had escaped from them they broke away in all directions, flinging their caps again into the air and

whistling as they went spinning up and crying:

—Hurroo!

And they gave three groans for Baldyhead Dolan and three cheers for Conmee and they said he was the decentest

rector that was ever in Clongowes.

The cheers died away in the soft grey air. He was alone. He was happy and free; but he would not be anyway proud

with Father Dolan. He would be very quiet and obedient: and he wished that he could do something kind for him to show

him that he was not proud.

The air was soft and grey and mild and evening was coming. There was the smell of evening in the air, the smell of the

fields in the country where they digged up turnips to peel them and eat them when they went out for a walk to Major

Barton’s, the smell there was in the little wood beyond the pavilion where the gallnuts were.

The fellows were practising long shies and bowling lobs and slow twisters. In the soft grey silence he could hear the

bump of the balls: and from here and from there through the quiet air the sound of the cricket bats: pick, pack, pock,

puck: like drops of water in a fountain falling softly in the brimming bowl.