ass to get it done as soon as I can. Hopefully it’ll be enough to grab someone’s attention.
Everything else is good, we’ve got our cruise tomorrow and I’m really looking forward
to just relaxing. Nick keeps talking about moving back home and I just can’t cope with that
conversation now. I really wish he’d reconsider going back to school. I’m happy to be the main
bread-winner in our relationship, I don’t care about anything like that but I’m afraid he does.
Who knows? Maybe this idea will be just the thing we all need. If we get enough money I’ll
have the chance to do some really creative, innovative things. Maybe, just maybe, with my ideas
and Parker’s business sense, StyleSpur could make it. I could pay for David’s college, Dad can
get his knee replacement, Mom can retire finally...can you imagine?
7.
“Wait! Let me get one of us in front of the ship,” Ali begged.
“They are literally boarding. Like, right now,” said Lauren.
“They wouldn’t dare leave without us. Just one,” she said holding her phone out at arm’s
length for a selfie.
“If I don’t have a glass of champagne in my hand in five minutes I’m gonna throw you
overboard,” said Lauren through a forced smile. The phone clicked, their smiling faces frozen
for a moment on the screen.
“Done, done. See? That wasn’t so painful. Let’s go,” she said, looping her arm around
Lauren, guiding her up the gangplank. Nick and Pete, who Nick dubbed “what’s-his-name” at
the bar days earlier, stood just inside the entrance. Both men looked quite handsome with their
designer jeans, casual suit jackets, and sunglasses. Pete was an inch shorter than Nick, dark
skinned, and had a runner’s build.
“Ladies first,” Ali said as she strode past with a flick of her hair. Lauren had to laugh. Ali
was always the drama queen, always the center of attention.
The yacht was gorgeous. Well-dressed couples filled the two floors, seated at linen
covered tables or milling about in conversation. Light jazz music tinkled from a pianist at the
end of the dance floor and echoed beautifully throughout the open space. A hostess led them to
their table, a chilled bottle of champagne and carafe of orange juice waiting. Nick poured the
mimosas and Lauren proposed the toast.
“To good friends and good memories!”
“Absolutely,” Ali said with an enthusiastic clink. “This is more the life I should be
accustomed to. I think I’ll buy myself a yacht. No, wait! You can buy me a yacht,” she said
patting Pete on the arm.
“Of course, darling, anything you want.”
“Oh wow, you’ve got him so well trained already,” Lauren joked.
The two couples spent the next hour wining and dining as the yacht floated past the
sparkling skyscrapers of Manhattan. Lauren had to admit Pete seemed to be a good fit for Ali.
He took her dramatic side in stride and was witty enough to keep her interested. Ali had fickle
taste in men but if they could keep up, they stuck around. He was an investment analyst at J.P.
Morgan and Lauren couldn’t help but wonder if theirs was a relationship of opposites attract.
“So how did you two meet?” Pete asked Lauren as he took a bite of a decadent slice of
chocolate cake.
“Well, it was in my senior year at MIT,” Lauren said, meeting Nick’s eye. “We were both
at a mutual friend’s party and just started talking. Been together pretty much ever since.”
“So you went to MIT, too,” Pete said to Nick.
“No, I didn’t go to college. We actually went to the same high school but were a year
apart. We knew of each other but never really talked until Lauren came home for winter break.”
“Yeah, Nick’s an uneducated plebeian like me. Seriously, it’s disgustingly cute. These
“Yeah, Nick’s an uneducated plebeian like me. Seriously, it’s disgustingly cute. These
two would drive and meet halfway almost every weekend,” Ali said rolling her eyes.
“Actually, that’s where we were last weekend. We took a quick trip back to Lenox for old
times’ sake,” she said, finding Nick’s hand under the table.
“And then when you graduated you moved here?”
“Pretty much,” Lauren nodded. Her phone buzzed against the table.
“Work?” Nick asked tentatively.
Lauren nodded but ignored the call from Parker. “What can I do from here? I’m on a
freaking boat, right? What do you guys think about grabbing our drinks and heading outside?
And you,” she said pointing to Ali. “No more Instagramming!”
Ali leaned forward with a sneer. “I’d like to see you make me, pipsqueak. If I’m not
going to play in the WNBA, my size should count for something.”
They gathered their glasses and followed the men out on deck. Lauren grabbed Ali’s
hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Didn’t get the part?” she asked sympathetically.
“My agent keeps telling me not to worry, but how can’t I? It’s not like there are a ton of
shows casting Amazonians and it doesn’t help most lead men are short as hell. It’s just
frustrating.”
“I know, sweetie. Something will definitely come along soon, you’ll see. At least Pete’s
big, right?”
“Oh, he’s plenty big.” Ali elbowed her jokingly, doing her best Groucho Marx
impression.
Lauren leaned on the railing, the breeze whipping through her hair. For the brief moment
she was alone, she closed her eyes and savored the peace. The sun hot on her shoulders, the
sound of the water splashing against the hull of the ship. For a flash she felt completely and
totally in the moment, not thinking about the future, not worrying about her family or friends. It
was as though she was connected to the world around her, not merely existing within in. She
took a deep lungful of air and held it. A familiar voice broke her concentration and not one she
was expecting.
“Fucking hell. What the fuck are you doing here?” Her eyes snapped open to see Parker
standing at the railing next to her. He wore a tight-fitting pink collared shirt and khaki trousers.
The top button of his shirt was undone exposing a bit of dark chest hair.
“Parker, what does it look like I’m doing?” she said with barely restrained irritation.
“Whatever. I tried calling you. The site is completely jacked, I’m getting some really
nasty phone calls from clients and can’t get hold of any one person who can tell me why.” She
ignored his accusation.
Lauren whipped out her phone and checked the website. Parker wasn’t kidding, it wasn’t
responding at all. Scooping her dress underneath her legs, she sat on a padded lounge chair.
Limited by what she could do remotely, she attempted a few things but quickly exhausted her
options. Parker sat on the chair opposite grumbling at his phone. Lauren peripherally watched a
leggy blonde approach from behind him, holding a finger up to her lips to indicate a secret. She
slid her hands over his shoulders and squeezed his chest muscles with a giggle, bright red nails
digging into his skin. Her tight dress would’ve been perfect for a Friday night out clubbing but
was glaringly out of place at a posh brunch. Plus, she looks possibly underage.
“Baby, whattya up to?” she asked leaning over his shoulder to see his phone. Parker
ignored her presence completely.
“Alright, Sam just texted me. He says it’s something about a 500 error?”
Lauren sighed as the young girl straightened with a pout. Lauren gave her a brief smile
and wave, sensing the girl was miffed another woman was stealing Parker’s attention. “Hi, I’m
Lauren. I work with Parker.”
The girl smiled. “I’m Mandi.”
“Excuse me,” Parker snapped. “What the fuck is a 500 error?”
“Where are you seeing that?”
“Look,” he said as he angrily thrust his phone under her nose.
“Okay...well it’s something to do with the server. I can’t tell much more than that from
here.”
Parker’s green eyes flashed with anger. He scratched at his short beard and looked like he
was ready to pitch his phone into the water.
“Alright, this is what’s gonna happen. When this boat lands, you’re on a cab straight to
the office and you’re gonna sort this out. Sam and Raj heading there now. Even if they get
everything running again, I want your ass in there to see that what happened never happens
again, you got it?”
Lauren’s stomach sank as she saw Nick approaching with a glass of champagne and
moved to intercept. His expression clouded immediately when he saw her company. She opened
her mouth to say something first but he handed her the glass without a word and turned.
“Parker,” he said with his hand outstretched.
“Oh, hi Nate,” Parker replied, briefly grasping his hand without making eye contact.
“Oh, hi Nate,” Parker replied, briefly grasping his hand without making eye contact.
Nick towered over him, somehow inflating his size even further yet Parker pretended not to
notice.
“It’s Nick. We’ve met. Several times, actually.”
“Of course, right.” Parker turned his back to Nick and spoke to Lauren. “I trust you have
this under control and you’ll tell me when it’s fixed.”
“Yeah, I’ll take care of it.” He stepped over the corner of the lounge chair and took a few
steps before turning around.
“Maybe you aren’t ready for everything we talked about the other day. I have to say, I’m
not very pleased. Oh, and when I call, don’t ignore me. I pay you to pick up. Answer your
fucking phone next time.” He strode away leaving Mandi to give chase in her stilettos.
Lauren grabbed Nick’s arm as he lunged towards him.
“Not worth it,” she whispered harshly. “Just leave it.”
“That guy needs to be put in his place. Where the hell does he get off talking to you like
that?” Nick spun back to face Lauren, his jaw muscles clenching. “Why do you let him treat you
like that? No job is worth dealing with an asshole like that.”
“I know, it’s alright. Listen, I have bad news. I need to go into the office when we get
back to the dock. It’s basically a meltdown but I think I can get it fixed pretty quickly. You go
with Ali and Pete and I can meet up with you, okay?” She tried to soften the news by caressing
his arm. He still looked like he wanted to go find Parker and throttle him.
“What was he talking about? What aren’t you ready for?” Nick lashed out.
“It’s nothing. It’s just stuff to do with the funding. He’s just being an ass, really, leave it.”
“Whoa, you two need a minute?” Ali asked as she and Pete returned with a plate of
cookies.
“No, we’re good. I just ran into Parker and—” Lauren began.
“Wait, Parker the Pecker is here? On this ship?” Ali said looking around the deck.
“Yeah, and I have half a mind to go reintroduce myself properly,” said Nick. Ali’s eyes
lit up.
“Let’s do it! Point ‘em out. I’ve heard enough about this guy. I need to meet him.”
“Please, guys, he’s already ruined the rest of the day. Can’t we just enjoy the next,” she
consulted her phone, “twenty minutes before we dock? Please? I’ll get the site back online and
meet up with you as soon as I can. You can even gossip about me behind my back.”
Whether it was overindulgence, motion sickness, or Parker, Lauren walked off the yacht
feeling far from relaxed. She said goodbye to the group feeling nauseated and upset.
June 9th
Real quick, I’m actually at work right now... it just occurred to me that no matter how
good my concept is, the biggest hurdle I face is actually getting it in front of people who could
help me make it happen. For example, investors. If Parker is good at anything it’s selling and he
certainly knows everyone there is to know in those circles... maybe helping him out with the
funding is a blessing in disguise. I can learn how it all works and even meet some of these
people for myself. Seriously, if there’s anything I’ve learned in my time here it’s that networking
matters so much more than the actual idea. So this is how I see it: I help Parker go after this
funding as if it were my own company. If I make him look good in front of these investors, if I
help take StyleSpur to the next level, that can only be good, right? On top of that, maybe I can
get the experience I need to do it myself later on.
9.
Nick was on his stomach spread across their bed watching videos on YouTube. Every so
often he burst into loud laughter or would exclaim, “Holy shit,” or “That’s freaking hilarious,” to
no one in particular. Lauren did her best to ignore him, not wanting to ruin his day off. She
quietly slipped on her headphones and tried to ignore the distractions. It’s not like she wanted to
ignore Nick but with Parker gone, she didn’t have much time at work to get any actual coding
done. Lauren shifted in her computer chair, drawing her left knee into her chest and resting her
chin. A couple minutes later she heard Nick speaking to her but couldn’t make out the words.
“What babe?” she said lifting the headphones off one ear and turning to him.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize you were under your headphones. It’s nothing.” She could
hear the mild annoyance in his voice.
“No, it’s fine, what’s up?”
“Really, it’s nothing. Just a funny video I saw.”
“Just show me later, okay?” she replied as sweetly as she could.
Concentration completely broken, she reread the last few lines of code to remember
where she’d left off. Nick never seemed to understand that programming wasn’t something you
where she’d left off. Nick never seemed to understand that programming wasn’t something you
could just start and stop. When she was in front of a computer, it took a little while to build to
the right momentum. After twenty or thirty minutes was when the magic started to happen. It
was incredibly distracting and inefficient to be interrupted and frankly, she had enough of that at
work.
Twenty minutes later she was staring at the screen trying to think through a particularly
difficult issue when her instant messenger flashed up. It was a message from Nick. With a sigh,
she pulled her headphones off and clicked on it. An ad for a rental apartment loaded. The photos
looked nice, a little too nice, and the price was ridiculously cheap.
“What’s this?”
“Oh, you didn’t have to look at it right away.”
“Well, I’m already looking at it. You know this is probably a scam, right?”
Nick sighed. “No, it’s real.”
“No one bedroom apartment in Manhattan looks this good and is only $800 a month.
Come on...”
“It’s not in Manhattan. It’s in Lake George.” Nick sat up on the bed and crossed his legs.
“I just thought I’d show you what we could be living in for less than what we’re paying now.”
“Okay...can we talk about this later? I’m in the middle of something and—”
“You’re always in the middle of something. It’s my only day off this week—”
Lauren squeezed her eyes shut and fought for composure. “Fine. It’s nice, it’s really nice,
but we can’t move back home, you know that.”
“No, I don’t know that. I do know that we could afford to live by ourselves finally,
maybe get a dog like you’ve wanted.”
“Seriously? You seriously want to have this conversation right now?” Lauren’s patience
was rice paper thin. She was overworked, stressed, and tired of Nick pushing this idea of moving
back upstate. She tried desperately to keep her tone in check. “I can’t move back home because I
have a job here, a good paying job.”
“You hate your job,” he said, his blue eyes darkening. She could see the muscles in his
jaw working.
“It doesn’t matter if I like it or not, it’s good for my career. You know this is the quickest
path for me to move ahead. I don’t know why you can’t accept that.”
“It’s not that I can’t accept it... I can’t find any real work here and we could have such a
comfortable life back home. It’s so noisy and cramped here, I just don’t see what the debate is.”
“Listen, it’s not my fault you can’t find a job. There’s plenty of work in this city you just
have to be willing to do it.”
“I work hard and you know that. I started working at the shop because I wanted to be
able to spend time with you. I picked up shifts at the Pony so I could afford to take you out
every once in a while. I never see you anymore so maybe all that doesn’t matter anymore.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Lauren could feel her temper flaring.
“It’s true. I never see you. I mean, I get to stare at the back of your head a few hours
every night but that’s not quite the same, is it. You’re practically attached to your laptop.
Whenever I try to talk about something different, something unrelated to your job, it’s like your
eyes glaze over. When was the last time we actually did anything together?”
“What?” she asked incredulously. “We had that brunch on Saturday!”
“Which you ruined by leaving for work!” Their voices grew louder and louder, not quite
shouting but not far off.
“That’s not fair. I didn’t ruin anything. It’s not like I made the server crash. It’s not like I
knew Parker was gonna be there. I didn’t choose for any of that stuff to happen.”
“No, but you chose to go into work. You choose to let Parker treat you like shit. And
look, you’re sitting here working at ten at night. Do you realize tonight was supposed to be date
night? Christ, listen to me... I sound like an idiot. I’m literally begging my girlfriend to pay
attention to me. ” He shook his head and stared at his kneading hands.
Lauren took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “You literally have no idea what you’re
talking about.”
She instantly regretted saying it but it was too late. Nick had gone past being just pissed
off; he was full-fledged angry. He punched the mattress and jumped to his feet. “Fine, sure. You
know what? Maybe staying here is what’s good for your career but it’s not good for me or for us.
I’m not gonna stand here and give you an ultimatum but I’m getting pretty fucking close to
one.”
Nick slammed the door to the bedroom and the apartment as he left. Lauren sat staring at
the space he’d just left, the bed sheets crumpled and probably still warm. In the years they’d
been together they’d never raised their voices like that before. She resisted the urge to fling
herself down and bawl. Instead, she choked back the tears, turned back to her laptop, and opened
her journal.
June 11th
We just had a huge fight and he left. He’s never done that before. It’s one of the things
I’ve always loved about him, that he’ll stay to work out a problem rather than walk away from
it. He wanted to talk about going back home again and I just couldn’t deal with it. Sometimes I
can’t help but feel like we want such different things from life, especially now. I know it isn’t
completely his fault because I haven’t told him what’s been going on but he’s just so dismissive.
I don’t know where he gets that from, maybe his dad. It’s like I’m not allowed to be focused on
my career. He doesn’t realize that everything he wants, a house to ourselves, a dog, a family, that
comfortable life... I can get that if I just work hard enough now. Isn’t that better than scraping by
your whole life pretending to be comfortable, pretending you’re happy with next to nothing? I’d
rather be rich than have to worry about paying the mortgage on a minimum wage job.
I love him, I really do. I can’t imagine my life without him but maybe it’s time to accept
we might want different things. It’s not that I want to stay in New York forever but it’s what
staying in New York represents. It’s ambition, it’s drive, it’s everything that Nick doesn’t have.
In my darkest moments I actually find myself resenting him. Life would be so much easier for
us as a couple if we were more alike... that’s terrible to think and I’d never say it to anyone but I
have to admit it to myself...
Ugh, this is so shitty!! I just want to make enough money that I can take care of my
family and set us up for the rest of our lives. That’s going to take time and if he can’t handle
that... well... we just need to talk.
11.
Lauren scanned the benches on the perimeter of the square, circling the fountain in the
center but didn’t see Ali anywhere. She sat at the closest one, next to a young woman with a
baby carriage and small brown dog. She looked peaceful, reading on a tablet, her baby snoozing
in the shade. Lauren wanted to absorb some of her tranquility. All around them the park buzzed
with activity, busy office workers running errands and squeezing in a quick meal on their lunch
break. The warm sun filtered through the leaves, dappling the ground in a pretty patchwork of
light. Lauren loved the parks and tree-lined streets in the city, tiny oases that popped up along
the urban jungle.
She checked the time and rolled her eyes. Ali’s habitual lateness didn’t matter most days
but Lauren had an interview scheduled just after lunch. Any other day she could play hooky a
little bit longer, but not today. She was almost half finished with her salad when Ali arrived. Her
eyes skimmed right over Lauren who couldn’t call out with a mouth full of lettuce. Instead, she
waved her hand to catch her attention. Ali huffed and walked briskly over, a relieved look on her
face. She was wearing a short blue slip dress that looked gorgeous against her pale skin and dark
hair.
“How am I supposed to find you if you don’t sit at our bench?” she asked breathlessly.
“How am I supposed to find you if you don’t sit at our bench?” she asked breathlessly.
She pulled free from the tangle of shopping bags that hung from her arms.
“Our bench?” Lauren asked.
“Yes, our bench. That bench over there.” She pointed to an identical bench opposite them
where a homeless woman was rifling through her backpack. The ground was littered with piles
of her things, probably all she had in the world. “That’s our bench,” she said like it was an
accusation.
“It seems to be occupied. Is this bench gonna be okay?”
“Ugh, I suppose,” she said crossing her legs. “Sorry I’m late. The trains were all
crammed with people and one of my bags actually got stuck in the door as I was trying to get
out. Nightmare.” Her expression brightened as she said, “But I’m glad I get to see you like this!
We haven’t had a power lunch in forever. So what’s up? How’s kicks?”
“Could be better to be honest,” Lauren replied taking a big bite of her lunch. She
crunched a few times before continuing out the side of her mouth, “Nick and I got into a fight.
We haven’t really spoken in a couple days.”
“No shit?”
“Mmmhmmm. Lots of shit, actually. He got all pissed off because I’ve been working so
much, which I understand. I really do, but it’s like, what am I supposed to do about it? I’m the
only one who makes enough money to support us. I have to work.” There was more than a tint
of anger in her voice, which surprised her.
“I’m sure he loved hearing that,” Ali replied. She took a long sip of her iced coffee and
held the cold cup against her neck. “You know how sensitive men can get about stuff like that.”
“Of course and I didn’t say it like that. Then we really got into it when he brought up the
idea of moving.” Lauren could’ve kicked herself. She hadn’t meant to bring that up around Ali
but it just slipped out. She squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the explosion. Great, now my
boyfriend’s pissed off with me and my best friend is gonna freak out.
“Moving? Moving where?” she asked in a hushed voice.
“Back to Lake George.” Lauren opened one eye, peeking