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Your Attitude - Your Self-Esteem

“It’s all about Self-Improvement”

By Teresa King

Copyright 2003, All rights reserved

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Y o u r A t t i t u d e - Y o u r S e l f - E s t e e m

Content

Introduction .............................................................................. 4

Chapter 1 Attitude and Conditioning..................................... 5

Chapter 2 Self-Esteem goes with a Positive Attitude............ 9

Chapter 3 From Negative to Positive Thinking................... 19

Chapter 4 The Standard of Excellence ................................ 28

Chapter 5 What is Happiness?............................................. 47

Chapter 6 Your Mood and Colors ....................................... 50

Chapter 7 Your Health and Exercise ................................... 52

Chapter 8 Learn how to Give and Receive.......................... 57

Chapter 9 Work Shop .......................................................... 60

Chapter 10 The Stairs to Recovery........................................ 65

Chapter 11 Against the Odds - Harness Those Darn Urges .. 67

Chapter 12 The fun Game to Play ......................................... 72

Chapter 13 Your Attitude - Your Job .................................... 75

Chapter 14 Visualization Meditation..................................... 82

Chapter 15 Inspirational Quotes ............................................ 88

Chapter 16 How to Get What You Want out of Life............. 91

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Wrapping it up ...................................................................... 106

About the Author .................................................................. 109

CREDITS.............................................................................. 110

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Introduction

Your Attitude is something that is uniquely yours. The dictionary defines mental attitude as:

n 1: a complex mental orientation involving beliefs and feelings and values and dispositions to act in certain ways; "he had the attitude that work was fun."

Your Self-Esteem is something that you have been developing all of your life and it can affect everything you do.

The dictionary defines it as:

n. Pride in oneself; self-respect.

One thing that both attitude and self-esteem have in common is that that they both can be changed. Yes, you can improve your attitude and your self-esteem and that is what this book is going to show you how to do.

Please keep an open mind as you read this book, because before this book can help you, you must focus and apply the tools and ideas that you are about to be given. Many times in your life, you may have heard that “Money is Power.”

It’s true. Money does allow for power. However, real power is knowledge and then applying that very knowledge to improve your quality of life. This quality can go from a relationship with your parents, grandparents, friends, spouse, lover, to the creep that lives next door, even to improving your income.

When your attitude and self-esteem are in a positive frame of mind, you can turn mountains into little bumps. You can make more money, become healthier, have more friends, and even make more time for yourself, and it is all done through knowing and taking simple steps that soon become giant leaps forward.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Chapter 1 Attitude and Conditioning

I would like to simply clarify what attitude really is:

Attitude is:

What you think

What you do

How you feel

All situations require that you think about what is happening. You have to decide what to do, then work on your emotions on how you feel about what you think and do. That is the simplicity of attitude.

You can be struggling with a problem with your teenager. Your teen’s new friends are not the kind of friends you want him to have. You think the problem is a tough one, you know you have to do something about it. You might want to do whatever your decision is in a positive way. However, your emotions on how you feel may want to dictate to him and yell and scream to get those low life friends away from the house.

Your attitude will be the essence of how you find the solution to the problem.

A negative attitude will be one of, “Why does that kid always upset me, seems a day can’t go by without problems, why did I ever have kids anyway? All I have been doing is trying to do the best I can, feeding, clothing, sheltering and working overtime so he can have his name brand shoes, and now he brings punks home that will influence him and turn him into a druggie and cigarette smoker.”

With a positive attitude, your solution will come with positive emotions.

“I love my teenager and find the challenges of raising one quite stimulating.

Let’s see if I can settle this problem without creating mountains out of molehills.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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I have raised my teen with great values, and I know that he has a strong background of knowing the difference between right and wrong so I will trust him to make his own choices. I will sit down tonight and get his viewpoint on his new friends and go from there.

You can almost picture in the above example, which attitude is going to get the best results and come up with the better solution.

Let’s Start with Conditioning

As a child, you were raised. Whether you had good parents, horrible parents, indifferent parents, or were raised by someone that was not a relative, you survived. You learned how to eat, talk, walk and read, and all the while you were forming perceptions of what the world was all about. In essence you lived in a box. The only way outside of the box was to learn more, see more, and do more.

Each thing you saw, or did, created the “you” that you are now.

If your caregivers:

• were kind, you learned kindness

• gave into your every whim. Then you learned to get your way

• were mean, you learned to be mean, or decided not to be mean

• argued a lot. Your environment was one where arguing was normal.

• were critical, you learned to judge.

If the male figure in your life was dominating and the female caregiver in your life walked on eggshells to not upset the applecart, you learned to be careful and possibly to whisper so as to not make anyone angry.

If you were yelled at as a child, the chances are you use yelling as a tool.

This also can backfire on you. Did you know that if you grew up with lots of yelling, that if you find yourself in an environment where there is no yelling, you may very well do things in your new situation to create yelling and all subconsciously?

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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If your dad gave you the silent treatment, the chances are you use that punishment against those you love, or, you totally flip-flopped and did not do what you thought was wrong and made a vow to yourself - you would not be like that when you grew up.

As a child you learned to be scared of authority, or to defy authority. You learned to respect the law, or hate the law, or just abide by the law. You may have learned to put your seatbelt on at an early age, and it may be a habit. Your parents both may have smoked, so smoking is acceptable to you or every time you smell cigarette smoke it brings back bad memories when you were stuck in an environment that you had little control.

Your parents may have been very religious and you learned to be just like them or won’t go into a church, because it was pushed so hard down your throat you can’t even look at what it really is. Your parents may have been atheists and would not let you go to church.

You learned fear of water, or respect of water. If your mother screamed every time she saw a spider, you may have ended up with a fear of small harmless creatures, or by watching her, you may have learned how to act hysterical over small things to get attention.

As we grew up, each of us learned what was “normal.” What was normal to us was what we were subjected to each day. Our perceptions of what life is and how “adults” behave became part of our center core where we could make decisions with the “facts” that we had on hand.

It’s all in perceptions and how you learned through living at home, from your schooling to social events to going to church and television. Children take in the world as a sponge absorbs water - fast. They watch, listen, and try things and then end up doing what they have learned. This is conditioning.

Sometimes, we need to wring out that sponge so we can put fresh water in.

Many parents messed up, after all, they only had skills that they learned as they were growing up. Babies come out naked without any instructions. Some parents managed better than others, and some children never enjoyed decent parenting.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Many children get lots of spontaneous hugs, and others get parents who hardly ever hug. Some children are not allowed to show anger, or some were raised with the myth: Big Boys Don’t Cry.

I like to liken children to weeds and flowers. A child that is nurtured such as a precious orchid where its environment was carefully cultivated, may die at the first sign of bad weather, while the scrappy weed defies the wind, rain, snow and flourishes.

We are going to cultivate you as an adult, make you strong like that weed, and unscarred like that orchid, because no matter where you were or how you started, that was then; this is now!

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Chapter 2 Self-Esteem goes with a

Positive Attitude

When Eleanor Roosevelt stated, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent," she hit the very essence of self-esteem.

Self-Esteem is your image of yourself.

If you let others put you down, or believe others when they say things about you, then let it manifest into a negative feeling about yourself, you are allowing yourself to be governed by other people and what they believe to be true about you, or that you have allowed yourself to prove that you are what they think.

The power within you is astounding. You just need to tap into changing your attitude when you catch yourself being negative.

You can't control the thoughts that pop into your head, but you sure in the heck can control what you do about those thoughts.

“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” Ed Cunningham

What kind of friend are you?

A friend is someone with whom you are comfortable, who you enjoy spending time with and who is loyal to you and whom you can be loyal to.

You trust them with your confidences, you can tell them your deepest darkest secrets and share your dreams and goals. You feel safe that your friend will not judge you.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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When you choose a friend it is like looking into the mirror. Who you hang out with does reflect on who you are.

Choose some qualities that you would like to see in your best friend.

Loyal

Trust

Comfortable

Sharing

Caring

Similar interests

Encouraging

Good Listener

Supportive

Energetic

Giving

Nurturing

Ambitious

Keeps promises

Remembers your special days

Gives you presents

Compliments you

Tells you the truth when you need to hear it

Accepts you as you are

Does not Judge You

Educated

Fun to be with

Understanding

Compassionate

Smart

Sense of Humor

Steady

On time

Relaxed about Life

Fighting for a Cause

Quick Temper

Slow Temper

Negative

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Positive

Lazy

Procrastinator

Thief

Witty

Not so smart

Easy Going

Same Belief System

Same Work Ethics

Morals

Faithful

Angry

Helpful

Tenacious

Dominating

Controlling

Friendly

Industrious

Think of your best friend and list some qualities.

Do you forgive your friend for things on the above list even though you don't like that characteristic in your friend? Do you accept your friend the way he/she is or do your keep trying to mold him/her to what you want in a friend?

Now, choose some qualities that you have as a best friend from the list above.

The art of friendship is a simple thing.

“You do unto your friend as you wish them to do unto you.”

It's the Golden Rule. It is taught in all belief systems one way or another, and it is a good rule.

If you don't want to be judged, you don't judge.

If you don't want anger and upset in your life, you don't allow unhealthy ways of showing anger in your environment.

If you want companionship and to do things that you like to do, you want a friend who respects that as well.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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If you break promises to your friend, then your friend won't trust you when you make a promise.

You don't like it when promises are broken to you, do you?

You stay loyal to your friend and best of all you keep that trust and communication open between the two of you.

If your friend is in need of you, your phone lines are open to him/her no matter what time it is. That is what a friend is for. Of course you would expect that your friend would be there for you as well.

If your friend had an annoying habit of a nervous laugh, you would forgive them, wouldn’t you? If he/she smoked and you didn't, you would still be a friend.

If your friend did something that you did not feel is right, you would forgive them, would you not? If you cannot forgive them then there is truly no real friendship.

So, why not forgive yourself for your own screw-ups?

Why is it that most people are harder on themselves than anyone else? If my best friend is thirty pounds overweight, the only thing I think about is her health.

I do not condemn her for eating that extra cookie, or not walking some of that weight off. My friend is my friend and I love my friends as they are.

When you berate yourself and put yourself down, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Yes, make realistic goals to improve what you want to improve, and give yourself pep talks, but for goodness sakes, don’t punish yourself.

Let's think about this next statement:

Before you can be someone else's best friend, you need to make yourself your own best friend.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Let's talk about you and your attitude toward yourself and the things you can do to become a better friend to yourself.

Why is it that you make promises to “you,” then break them?

I am going to go on a diet.

I am going to start an exercise program

I am going to quit smoking, biting my nails.

I am going to quit saying never, and always, and start being nicer.

I am going to lift weights

I am going to spend more quality time with my family

Then a bit down the road, you have broken all the above promises to yourself.

Would you break a promise to your best friend?

Let's think about that one. If you are your own best friend, do you lie to yourself, do you make false promises, do you do things that you know your friend does not like you to do?

Would you lie to your friend and mislead them?

Of course, you wouldn’t.

Would you accept some of the things about your friend that you don't like?

Of course you would. So, as your own best friend, you can accept things about yourself, too. One thing we all know is that no one is ever perfect. We were not made to be perfect. We make mistakes, and we learn from them.

A long time ago I heard this one:

"The only mistake I ever made was when I thought I made one."

It's obviously a joke, as everyone makes mistakes.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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We can work at self-improvement, and we can change some things, however, it takes time to change everything.

We can take care of 90 percent of what we do, and let the other ten percent take care of itself.

Your best friend is you....

No matter where you go in life, you do have to take your best friend with you.

Be good to your best friend!

With small steps you can end up with giant leaps toward becoming a new, happier you.

From Conditioning to Comfort Zones

A comfort zone is the area in your life that you have habitually been doing for so long it is part of you life, like your grandpa’s favorite chair. It is in knowing how staying inside your comfort zone can keep you from your dreams, goals, and how it can stop you from doing anything that is not comfortable to you.

Sometimes your comfort zone is not a healthy place to be. When you are constantly in your comfort zone and never step out of it, you don’t get much further in life than you already are.

An example: You might not like the thought of dancing, in fact, the very idea of dancing and getting out in front of people wiggling to music might terrorize you.

Therefore, why dance?

What could happen if you made a fool of yourself in front of others? Would you be mortified? Would you have an anxiety attack, or, can you shrug it off and go on with your life?

You might envy how some people can get up in front of people and give a wonderful speech, however, the idea of doing it yourself is something you don’t want to consider. You might see a fancy car that you would die for, however, Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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would you die for it, or do you just dream about that fancy car, and deep down know that unless you won a lottery, or some rich person left you money on their death bed, you would never have a car like that?

What if I told you, you could have that dream car? Would you laugh to yourself, and say, "She doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know what a rut I am in, how many bills I have, what a lousy job I have. She is talking about lucky people, not me!"

Knowing your comfort zone, and why it is your comfort zone is your first step in learning about how to change some of the perceptions that you have about yourself.

Those perceptions begin with the label that was put on you. People get labels put on them. It usually starts when they are small. For a few, the label was a positive one. However, for most, they were negative labels.

Are You Living Up to the Labels that Others Have Put on You?

This may have happened to you. It may have happened to someone you love, or, you may be doing this to your own kids and not even realizing it.

Labels: When you put a label on someone such as you are ugly, stupid, messy, lazy, no good, late, fat, skinny, uncoordinated, clumsy, dumb, irresponsible, under achiever, or things such as procrastinator, and one of the worse ones,

"worthless," it will set a person up to become what they are labeled, or resist it so much that they become miserable and end up with low self-esteem.

We tend to accept, or believe what has been said about us, and, by believing what has been said we end up being what we are labeled. It’s a vicious cycle.

Maybe as a child you were clumsy, but that does not mean you have to be clumsy.

I remember my middle son when he was tiny. He spilled things more than the average child. He could also find a mud puddle even if it had not rained within three weeks. Instead of calling him "pigpen" or "mud pie" we called him Mr.

Clean. We figured if we made a positive label that it would rub off on him in Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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a "clean" way. It worked. He grew up to be very tidy and organized.

By labeling him something positive, we got positive results.

It is now time to create new improved labels for you.

Get a pen and paper, or get your computer notepad and start writing. First, write all the negative things that have been said about you. Scratch out the ones that are not true.

Don’t hesitate. Our minds react quickly to come up with the right answers. It is our own self-doubt that throws that answer aside and starts looking deeper into the question until we come up with the wrong answer. It is not that I am saying that the first answer is always right. Sometimes we do have to look deeper and we will, however, for now, write down the things that you were labeled and immediately scratch out what is not true.

Now write down labels you have put on yourself. Now think about this, who are you? Do you say, “I am a mother?” I am just a housewife. I am a carpenter. I am lazy. I am a working dad. We all tend to label what we are.

Next, write down all the positive labels that you can put on yourself that are true.

I will bet your positive list is way bigger than your negative list!

This brings me to talking about learning what we can accept and what we cannot accept and in knowing the difference. You have probably heard of the Prayer of Serenity. Let’s see what it really is:

The Prayer of Serenity

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

Serenity

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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A simple explanation is this: You could be in a traffic jam. You’re stuck. You can’t change the traffic jam, however you can be bitter and upset because you are stuck, or you can put in a CD and listen to your favorite comedian and relax and accept what you cannot change.

Life has choices: You can choose to have a realistic expectation or an unrealistic expectation. Unrealistic expectations are when we get upset and gripe over something that we knew would more than likely happen.

If you have taken that traffic route before and have ended up in a traffic jam, you can definitely expect it to happen again - that is a realistic expectation, however, you are late and you must get from point A to point B. You toss it over in your head. It takes ten extra minutes to go the longer route. In your experience there has never been a traffic jam by taking the longer route, however, you really want to get where you are going in record time so you take a chance and take the shorter route.

Then of course you find that you landed in a traffic jam.

Let’s think about it: Your expectation was unrealistic, so there is just no sense in griping about or even yelling at yourself for making that unrealistic decision.

You took a gamble and lost. Learn from it, and the next time, take the longer route and accept it. You can now put that CD back in, or count all the red cars on the road and all the black trucks on the road, or count the drivers that you see that are not picking their noses. Accept the situation, because you cannot change it.

So you see, you do have choices.

Acceptance has nothing to do with whether or not you like the situation, or how it makes you feel, or if you agree with what is going on. Acceptance is understanding that you cannot change it, therefore, the best thing to do is accept it, so that you can go on with your life or make concessions as in the above example because you have learned from past experiences what the chance of something happening is. That is the reality of the above situation.

Courage

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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You cannot change how others behave, or your own past experiences that caused pain to either yourself or others. You can atone for things such as a 12-step program in quitting drugs where you hurt someone in the past. However, you cannot change the past. It takes courage to accept what you cannot change.

Courage of another kind:

You may find a law that is just ridiculous, so you research it, after researching, you stand up in the town meeting and voice your opinion. This takes courage, since you are going to attempt to change something, and at the moment you open you mouth, everyone will know that you have a view. Some may agree with you

- others may not, however, it takes courage to stand up for what you believe is right, and since you researched it, there is a good chance you can change that law. Laws get changed many times because one person decided to do something about what they did not feel was right.

You can learn from past experiences and you can learn what you can do to stay out of situations that cause you unhappiness. This is the changing of you, not someone else, and you can learn not to be angry about something that you could have avoided because of realistic expectations, and you can learn to not be angry when a situation happens that you have no control over.

Remember: Accept what you cannot change, and change what you can. This is all about attitude!

When your attitude is up tone and you start seeing things positively and working toward seeing things in a different perspective you can improve yourself, your relationships, your job, and anything that you can change in yourself to improve your life and surroundings. That is what this book is all about, your attitude, your self-esteem and changing for the better.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Chapter 3 From Negative to Positive

Thinking

“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.” Winston Churchill

From Negative to Positive Thinking

You must turn negative thinking into positive thinking to be happy, to learn how to get what you want out of life, and to grow and to see the world through new eyes.

Negativity begets negativity. Negative forces in your life can only stop you from reaching your dreams.

Negative people can drain you. The more time you spend around negative people the less energy you have to improve your life. It’s not easy to improve the quality of your life when you are exhausted.

Are you spending time with creative and positive people or are you sitting in a group of people gossiping about others and seeing the negative side of life?

Let’s talk about positive things and how they change your perspective.

Learning how to see that the glass is half full rather than half empty is actually quite easy. It is a matter of focusing and catching yourself when you are being negative or those around you are being negative, and putting a stop to negativity and turning it into a positive experience.

Get In The Driver's Seat, by: Bryan Kumar

Being prepared is always better than not being prepared. Pretty simple. Right?

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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It's easy to be prepared externally for events and incidents; you simply gather up the intelligence, the tools, and set up protective systems in place.

But, being prepared internally, i.e. emotionally and mentally is quite another story. Yet, it is just as important, and usually more so, to be emotionally and mentally prepared for what's to come.

So, how do you prepare yourself emotionally and mentally?

You simply practice and rehearse.

Many people go about life "reacting" to situations as they arise. There's no direction there, no control, no target to follow. It's very arbitrary, random, and often times meaningless.

For example, many people get angry, upset or depressed over the littlest things.

And the more often they "react" to situations in that manner, the more strongly they condition themselves to react similarly in the future, when the next challenge arises.

To create any habit, emotional state, or reaction, you have to rehearse it.

Optimism, self-discipline and believe it or not, even "happiness" or any other mental state, can be attained by the simple process of practice and rehearsal.

The key point to realize here is that every emotion and mental state you go through follows a recipe or a ritual. When you find out what your internal process (i.e. ritual) is in order to get to a certain mental state, you can create and evoke that state at will.

For example, if you tend to get depressed whenever even the tiniest thing goes wrong, you need to train yourself to react differently to that particular situation.

You can do this by first noticing what your internal process is for feeling depressed. Notice what you do when you're depressed. Find out every detail of your process so that you can explain it to someone else and teach them to get just as depressed as you, if they wanted to.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Notice what you're focusing on. What kind of mental pictures are you creating, and what kind of changes occur in your body i.e. posture, facial expression, breathing, etc.

Here's an example of the internal process one would go through in order to get depressed. To get depressed, the person would have to:

- blow the problem out of proportion i.e. create a mountain out of a mole hill, and focus on the worst-case scenario

- focus on everything bad and wrong with everything in the world and all around you.

- create vivid and gigantic mental pictures of everything bad and wrong that you're focused on

- change your body to match your focus i.e. slouch over, look down, carry a depressed expression on your face, take small shallow breaths, and so on.

Now that you've found out what the internal process, or ritual, is for getting depressed, you know how to undo it!

To step out of the state of depression, you just have to:

- change your mental focus from the negative to positive, visualize and magnify the intensity of new, positive, solution-based mental pictures, and rapidly change your body, i.e. posture, breathing, facial expression, etc.

You will realize something very important now...that you can shift from one mental state or emotion to another just by thinking it. This is a very powerful piece of information!

You can shift from one mental state or emotion to another

just by thinking about it!

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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That means, as soon as you decide on an outcome, you can immediately shift your focus, state and emotion to manifest the desired state or emotion. How useful do you think that would be?

You can practice moving from one mental state to another by going from one emotion to another one. This is really a very powerful and useful exercise.

Use the examples above to shift your mental and emotional states from one extreme to the next.

Example: Go from a sad state to a happy one, a frustrated one to an optimistic one, a procrastinating one to a totally motivated one, a nervous one to a confident one, etc.

The more you practice moving from one range to the other, the more prepared you will be, and the easier it will become for you to shift out of a negative state/emotion into a positive one when it counts. All it takes is practice and rehearsal so that you are prepared in advance.

Whenever you're caught in a negative state or emotion (anger, frustration, fear, boredom, etc.), just take a moment to step out of yourself and watch yourself from the outside. What changes would you immediately want to make to produce better results and outcomes?

It's really as simple as that.

Your focus and your physiology - what you're dwelling on and how you're moving your body - will determine what mental state and emotion you consistently experience in life.

Bryan Kumar – is the author of several books, and writes about visualization in a later chapter in this book.

From reading Bryan’s explanation, you can now see that, you can channel yourself from negative thoughts. Remember, if you think a negative thought, it just brings you to thinking to other negative thoughts. You can stop that and make your mind think about positive things. Dwelling on negative things only brings more negativity into your life.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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You don’t need that. Do you?

You can also learn not to stress out over little things:

How to Handle Stress

No one is totally immune to stress. It is how we recognize the symptoms and what we can do when stress pops up like unexpected visitors when your house is untidy.

The strange thing about stressful situations is that most of us can rise to the occasion when a major disaster strikes. It could be an earthquake, a divorce, an illness, or even death in our families. We meet the major stress issues like champions.

Then come the little things. It's not that they are little, but when you weigh them to what life is truly about, it seems a tad silly to stress over things that annoy us.

When we get annoyed, we stress. If we could just put our annoyances into perspective, we can change and catch the things that cause stress, and learn to recognize how insignificant they truly are.

The pushy lady you meet at the grocery store is one example.

The traffic jam

The barking dog

The person who is flirting outrageously with your spouse

You lose your keys for a while

You worry about the wedding plans

It rains on your picnic day

The gossip

The woman who chatters too much

The waitress taking too long to take your order

Missing the first few minutes of a movie

The flasher in your neighborhood

Bad Hair Day

Don't sweat the small stuff use the negative to positive thinking formula.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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You can learn a good habit of catching yourself when you do negative things.

An example, it was a few years back when I learned that the best way to start an argument with someone is to tell him or her that they “always” do something.

“Harry, you always eat crackers in bed.”

It’s a ridiculous statement. Harry (whoever Harry is, and why is he eating crackers in bed anyway?) gets his hackles up. You have just made an untrue statement. He knows he does not “always” eat crackers in bed, why just last week he ate cheese and apples in bed, and didn’t even have any crackers.

The minute you tell someone that they “never” or they “always” you have opened the doorway to your target to go into a defense stance and finish the war on your false statement.

Here is an exercise for one small change in your life toward the better: You can catch yourself when you use those two little words, and apologize immediately, and start working on not using them again in a negative mode. I am sure it is perfectly acceptable to tell someone they always look beautiful to you. It is not acceptable to tell them they “never” remember the milk or “never”

come home on time, or “always” get to their destination late.

Try that one simple little change, and watch your life improve.

One great thing for a positive attitude is to get active and develop interests.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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When Dr. Marian Diamond, a professor of neuro-anatomy from the University of California studied a slice of Einstein's Brain, she stated that Einstein had 73%

more glial cells for every neuron than in an average brain.

Glials are hairy extrusions that surround neurons that nourish them.

In rats that were given more toys and more stimulus, more glials were found.

This shows that a wide variety of interests play a strong roll in our brain.

Einstein was not only a scientist but was a musician, a teacher and a civil servant.

He kept his brain very active.

Just because we age does not mean we cannot continue to learn, we can. In fact, the more we keep up both mental and physical activity the better off we are as our age progresses.

Did you know when you furrow your brow when you are concentrating that you are heating up your brain? This increases pressure and makes it easier for you to concentrate on a project. It also can keep people away from you, as you don’t look so very friendly with eyebrows squished together.

When you smile, you start to relax, even if you are not in a smiling mood. Go, on sit up smile and see if you start feeling lighter in mood.

What, no smile? Hmmm, okay, I shall tell you a cute joke and see if I can get a smile, or a twinkle, or maybe an out and out loud laugh! You have to open your mind. It is not good to refuse to laugh. We can’t stay in apathy. Yes, they have done some tests on 900 people in Australia and discovered that depressed people chose depressing movies over a wide selection of comedies, and that they chose heavy depressing music over lighter happier music to listen to.

So, we can conclude that depressed people are on the scale of apathy, and will choose to stay that way.

I hope you are not that depressed. If you are, keep reading, because you absolutely do have the ability to have a positive attitude, and change the state of your mind.

Copyright © 2003 Teresa King

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Did you know that an average child laughs around 400 times per day, while the average adult only laughs 15 times?

What happened, did we get cynical, did we lose our exuberance and exchange it for wisdom?

Did you know that by taking time out each day to read something funny, or watch something funny is actually a healthy thing to do and can greatly increase a positive outlook on life?

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” E. E. Cummings Relax, and laugh.

Tasteful Joke

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Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."