Willie's Wisdom by Gurmeet Mattu - HTML preview

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HAREM PANTS

Dear Willie,

I wonder if you could give me some fashion advice. Do you think purple, satin, pumps would go with cerise, velvet, harem pants. The boys in the shipyard are always on at me about this.

Big George, Belfast

Dear George,

I’m not surprised your pals are criticising ye. Have ye considered the health and safety implications of wearing harem pants to your work. A cerise velvet boiler suit would be perfectly acceptable.

Willie

NON-STICK

Dear Willie,

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My husband won’t allow me to buy non-stick pots for our kitchen as he says they make the food taste

‘funny’. This of course leads to extra work for me in scouring our pans. Can you convince him that these modern marvels do not affect the flavour of food.

Jill, Darwin

Dear Jill,

I’m afraid I can’t agree with you on this one. As you know this non-stick carry-on was pioneered by the space race, but what is not generally known is that yon NASA guys got it wrong. What they were supposed to invent was non-stick food! Imagine what a boon that would have been. You read it here first.

Willie