The Secret to Outrageous Loving by Roger Ali Bocus - HTML preview

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Proverbs 4: 7


These words were written by the wisest king who ever lived: King Solomon.

King Solomon, the wisest and richest king in recorded history, saw the essential need to apply Understanding in his everyday routine, which transformed the mundane run of the Kingdom into extraordinary settings.

My friends, this virtue called: Understanding has been also designed to make a primary contribution and difference in all relationships. No relationship can thrive or succeed without it.

Absolutely none!


Such is the Power of Understanding.

But the understanding King Solomon was alluding to, is not the understanding you and I are aware of.
This understanding is a Divine Understanding, which can be sourced and applied by all.

Actually, there are Two (2) Types of Understanding:

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man I put away childish things.

1 Corinthians 13:11


Brethren, be not children in understanding: howbeit in malice be you children, but in understanding be men.


1 Corinthians 14: 20


My friends, these two scripture verses clearly points out that there are two (2) kinds of understanding:


Childish and Mature or Manhood


There is a vast difference between how childish individuals understand and how Mature Persons understand.


My friends, Mature Understanding is: The Secret to Outrageous Loving.


Consider this:


· How do children understand?


· How do mature individuals understand?

The following story is a true and classic example of both childish and mature understanding.
“Steve, I’m giving you one week to find a place to park that car,” Steve’s landlady bluntly said to him.

“Sure, no problem, I’ll find a place to park it before the week is up. Anyhow, thanks a lot for allowing me to park it here for the time that I did. I really appreciated it.”

Steve took his landlady completely by surprise with his easy-going response – gently diffusing her anger and misunderstanding.

Steve was allowed by his landlady to park his brother’s car in here yard (for an indefinite period of time). But because she saw him talking to the neighbors in the house next door (folks which she bore ill-feelings for), she presumed he was forming some sort of alliance with them against her.

So, she got angry and told him to find a place to park his brother’s car.

It is so appalling to see grown people still behaving like little children. Because I am not speaking to……………, you must not speak to them, as well.

If both of us are friends, and you are vexed with your nextdoor neighbor or whoever – do you expect me to be vexed with them, too, to prove the loyalty of my friendship to you?



Mature Understanding does not take offense easily; nor does it seek to form a coalition with wrong behavior.

Mature Understanding minors in trivialities and majors on the real issues.
Steve demonstrated Mature Understanding by not getting angry or vindictive with his landlady.

He demonstrated Mature Understanding by continuing to show genuine love to her despite the way she treated him.

Steve’s landlady demonstrated childish understanding when she added presumptuous and facetious meaning to his innocent and respectful actions – totally misunderstanding him.

Thank God, her husband counseled her correctly and the situation was amicably rectified.


How understanding are you?


What level of understanding do you demonstrate, daily – Childish or Mature?


Could it be said of you, you are a person of Mature Understanding?

One of the major causes for conflicts in marriages is: Misunderstanding or Childish Understanding. And Childish Understanding if allowed to spiral out of control within marriage can generate verbal and physical fights, which could severely hurt you emotionally and physically.

It could lead to broken homes, and you may have to sell the accumulated assets (house, car, land etc.), and split them between you and your partner. Your children may also be caught in the middle of these ugly battles, and suffer trauma and emotional damage ……….

Misunderstanding, if not handled maturely can cause so much collateral, emotional, and physical damage, it could leave you feeling as if you’ve passed through a vicious war. Consider Joe, who was having problems with his wife and she left him to return to her mother’s home?

He met me after a church service and begged me to persuade his wife to return to him. I promised him I would try.

However, when I went to his mother-in-law’s home to speak to his wife, she gave me an entirely different story than he did.

She informed me that he had struck her more than the one and only time he claimed he did; and she was afraid to return because he promised if she did he would kill her.

When his wife refused to reconcile with him, however, he committed suicide.


He hung himself at his home.

And on the day of the funeral, when his wife placed flowers on the coffin, his family members threw her flowers back at her and a big cuss-out ensued. The police had to be called in to maintain order.

His family members were blaming her for his foolish decision to take his own life. But nobody put that rope around his neck – it was he himself who did that. So no one’s to blame but Joe.

He failed to understand that he could not abuse his wife verbally and physically and expect her to continue to stay with him under those horrible conditions.
It’s easy to point accusing fingers at his wife for leaving, but you don’t have to live with the dread and daily abuse with which she lived.

Joe failed to exercise Mature Understanding with his wife and as a result – lost her and his life, as well.

What do you have to lose before you realize you need to apply Mature Understanding for all your relationships to flourish?

The Secret to Outrageous Loving is:

Mature Understanding

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