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The children’s books led to other writings, and I soon realized that we are not the authors of our works;
instead, we are listeners. I think those authorsor artists, for that matterwho take complete credit for their
work deny their ability to listen to what comes through to them. It’s like a dancing relationship, and our success
depends on how closely we pay attention to our partners. I think most artists realize the truth of this concept, but
some have not learned to shed their ego to the point they can understand that truth. I simply enjoyed the whole
process. It gave me time to spend with myself, and I’ll always be amused with what was sent through.
Chapter Eight: The Vision Quest
The most difficult journey to master is the one within!
September, 1992
It was Saturday morning, and I was off to the farm to take the horses out for a morning ride. I was so excited
to see them! I pulled up in front of the barn, got out of the car, and walked through the two barns to the stalls in
the back. The horses were waiting to be fed, and they seemed to sense something different in me. It was as if
they knew I was connecting to something they had not experienced before.
I walked over to Coltie, a big thoroughbred, and gave him a hug. He simply lowered his head and nuzzled
me. This was not the norm for him. When it was time to eat, nothing (and I mean nothing) had ever stood in his
way. I walked across to Pengo, the older and wiser of the two, and he reacted in much the same manner. I felt
compelled to acknowledge their response, and I told them so. I put a cup of grain in each of their feed trays and
placed a flake of hay on the floor. While they ate, I began mucking out their stalls.
As I walked around them, I noticed a relaxed sense of acceptance, as though they were treating me like I was
one of them. They would turn occasionally and watch me, as if in appreciation for what I was doing. I left the
stall doors open when I was done, then walked outside to view the morning sunlight spread over the farm. I
don’t know if there was ever a more beautiful sight in the whole world as amber light from the morning sun
coming up over Gateways. The stream out back was flowing strong, and the fall flowers were in full bloom.
Life was everywhere!
I heard the sounds of horses’ hooves on the concrete behind me. I didn’t turn since they knew their way out
of the barn. Instead of coming outside and running down the ramp, which was their usual way of greeting the
morning, one of them came and stood on either side of me while I leaned over the old metal railing. I didn’t
move or look to acknowledge them. They were simply being the gifts they were, and I was the one fortunate
enough to witness it. We felt the breeze on our faces as we stood there and smelled the wind. We enjoyed the
scents of early autumn as they replaced the last days of summer. I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that at
that moment, we were one with each other. I finally turned to each of them and asked, “Okay, who wants to go
for a ride?”
As soon as the words emerged from my mouth, they ran down the ramp and out into the fields, kicking their
heels high into the air, playing like children. I chuckled to myself, realizing how fortunate I was to witness the
picture before me.
After my ride I went home, changed clothes, and headed to the store for groceries. The town I lived in was
an affluent one. I, however, did not fall into that category. I had given anything and everything I had to my ex-
wife in the divorce, since it was always my intention to ensure she was well cared for. I knew I would always be
able to make a living at whatever I elected to do, so I was never concerned. I always seemed to have just what I
needed. I embarked for the store, feeling like my life was starting over, fresh and new and more exciting than it
had been in a long time. It was wonderful walking up and down the aisles, looking at food and noticing the
people. As I moved into the checkout line, I began unloading the five cases of cat food from my cart. It would
be enough to feed the three litters of cats at the barn and the two cats I was taking care of for a friend.
“Looks like you have a lot of cats,” said a voice emanating from behind me. I turned around and found
myself staring at the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. There was something very familiar about her, like I
knew her from another place and time. I had never before come face to face with a woman who almost looked