The Get More Sex, Get Better Sex Course - Week 1 HTML version

Appendix – Causes of low sexual desire
This course works primarily on (a) fixing relationship issues that may be stopping your partner
wanting as much sex as you and (b) how you can help your partner get into the right place to desire
sex with you. What it doesn’t cover in the main body of the course however is other possible reasons
why you may not be getting as much sex as you’d like. I’m going to refer to these other possible
reasons as ‘causes of low sexual desire’. These might be issues that you can’t ‘fix’ through changing
your behaviours or improving your relationship because they are medical issues, or issues from your
partners past, for example. I detail these here to help you get you that little bit more informed. Perhaps
you’ve tried everything in the course and it simply hasn’t worked, in which case this is a great place
to start in your quest for answers.
The list of possible causes of low sexual desire is quite a long list! And it’s not there to scare you,
although it probably will! as it’s potentially possible to apply a good number of these issues to your
partner. So I simply list them here for the reason that if you understand the possible reasons it will
ensure that you are better equipped to help both you and your partner deal with and get past the issues.
The list is ordered alphabetically.
Before we begin – a disclaimer - all content provided within this appendix is for general information
only, and it should not be treated as a substitute for the medical advice of your own doctor or any
other health care professional. The publishers disclaim any responsibility for the accuracy of such
information and opinions and are not to be held responsible or liable for any diagnosis made by
anyone using this information. You and your partner should always consult your doctor if you are in
any way concerned about either your or your partner’s health.
Abuse as a child; sexual, physical, or emotional
The number of children that are either sexually abused or molested in the world is quite high. Most
topics in this appendix are beyond its scope, including this one, but if your partner has suffered with
this in her past you may need to assist her with finding other forms of professional help. If this has
happened to your partner she may…
Still carry the traumatic experiences with her.
Have unresolved feelings about these experiences that are seen in your relationship.
Have a hard time leaving the experiences in the past.
Find intimacy unappealing and potentially threatening.
Have flashbacks during any sexual encounter with you.
Find that sex is something that she would prefer to avoid rather than pursue.
In its mildest form drinking too much alcohol can make you both sleepy and can reduce sensitivity to
touch. Alcoholism, either on your part or that of your partner would, obviously, be a cause of lack of
sexual desire. If you have issues with alcohol and your partner doesn’t then this would put your
partner off of you generally, let alone wanting to have sex with you. And if your partner had issues
with alcohol then likewise that could well cause a lack of sexual desire.
Your partners anger towards you