The Chronicles of the Mexican Horse Thief IV HTML version

The Chronicles of the Mexican Horse Thief – IV Madness
My first day out of rehab, wake up early as is my habit. Pam tells me she shall not
discuss religion with me any more. Thank God. I am fired from Dick‟s bible study as
well, can‟t have an intelligent recovering person in a Christian bible study group, we
bring up too many questions on their inconsistency, their hypocrisy, their lack of
knowledge of the bible and Jesus‟ actual words. Oh all sorts of things. The model doesn‟t
like me any more so no real loss. I am tired of their dogma and ignorance, so all is good.
Deirdre calls me, she does this often. Sarah picked me up and we went to an NA meeting
in Mitchell‟s Plain. It was held at a High School. The place had more barbed wire and
bars than I see in the average lock up facilities. Some really hard looking people in this
group. To hear them talk about fighting the addiction and being so open about their
feelings, is unreal. Sarah is a character and a bloody book on her own, we get along okay,
but she talks and seldom listens. O ne day I am locked out of the house, I wait for Pam,
the house has never been locked. When I first got here and asked about this I was told, by
Pam, that she leaves it open in case her kids come around, she is not scared of burglars as
God and Jesus (doesn‟t she believe they are the same?) look after it. I now get told after
asking why it is locked, that she is scared of burglars. Wonder if Jesus and God don‟t
like her any more either? Decided I am pissed off with her. Would have let me stay in
Polsmore, William and Carroll were right – she will treat me well only if I fulfill her
Christian expectations. I do not accept this type of friendship any more.
I spend a lot of time building up my data. I meet Thys that afternoon, we are going to go
to the Ramot Evening. It is quite different from when I was an inmate, you are now a
successful outside person in the inmates eyes. What a big misconception that is, I am
more fucked up than most of the inmates, maybe a little less than most of the staff. K im
and some of the group were present, and we spoke about Dwight, his chances of staying
clean while living in Ides Valley on the bad side of Stellenbosch were remote. It is not
that far from Somerset so we made a plan, I would pick him up if I had petrol money,
then we would meet at Thys‟ house about half way to Parow, and all leave from there.
Hell, if us fucked up alkies and druggies don‟t help each other, who will?
Meanwhile Pam was on my case about the amount of time I spent on my computer. I was
either capturing data or writing, what the fuck do people want from me? I am not in a bar
or drinking and adulterating in some other town. Doing the best I can for right now. I get
told Eddie wants to talk to me. He is a man of few words, it does not take long, and I end
up feeling like a social misfit and general fuck up. I believed at that time I should be
more like “them”. So the thing that makes one really, really acceptable is, having
lots of it. I kick start Section Eight again, just a big handicap is running a internet based
business from internet cafes. I have not got a memory stick and work from a CD-ROM. I
cut one and take it to the Mall, it will not read, back “home” re-cut, back to Mall, this
cost in time and petrol, plus money for internet café. I also post manuscripts of The
Chronicles of the Mexican Horse Thief, all over the world.