Poetry to Make You Feel Good by Matt Phillips - HTML preview
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How England Was Invaded: A History Lesson
Chris Mason invaded England in 2008.
He came from North America and is a celebrated great.
The English really despised him but were too afraid to show it.
So they ended up being invaded and they didn’t even know it.
A full two years before on the 6th of October,
An army of Canadians plotted to turn the homeland over.
Five of them, a month later, began the invasion.
They stowed away on an aeroplane along with Chris Mason.
The plan to get through customs was simply exquisite.
But customs rushed them through with the people on a visit.
The Mason five found work in different types of jobs
And bought a string of houses in an area run by yobs.
The invasion then began as more and more were primed
How to cross over to England and break enemy lines.
By the end of the year, some sources say,
One hundred thousand Canadians had set up lives and stayed.
Though heavily outnumbered and an ethnic minority,
The Canadians still managed to change some policies.
They first began to campaign for more Canadian flags
And claimed to be offended by the British Union Jack.
England duly obliged and the target was achieved.
The insurgence was strong, though; they said they were slightly aggrieved.
More Canadians came and there became a Canada day.
They caused lots of noise and made the English very afraid.
The key to the invasion was equal opportunities-
The Canadians should get jobs over English employees.
So the invaders prospered in many important jobs,
Which caused a knee-jerk reaction from so-called English yobs.
Attacks on Canadians were on the increase.
But when it became frowned upon, they stopped to keep the peace.
Finally, Chris Mason was proposed as an MP
And as it was a Canadian suburb, he won quite easily.
Mason worked hard and had many motions passed.
(No-one went against him for fear of being outcast).
The Canadians now had settled and became more tolerated.
So Mason’s work was acknowledged not from where he originated.
Early November 2008,
Mason became Prime Minister, as was his fate.
And so the invasion of England was complete.
Leaving the unwounded Canadians dancing in the street.
But the English civilians weren’t done yet.
They said ‘Mason is English’ and formed an underground sect.
It didn’t last long as they had better things to do.
And things weren’t that bad, in fact nothing was new.
Canadians flooded in and life was more relaxed.
Things became cheaper as they weren’t as heavily taxed.
Everyone ended up celebrating Canada day,
As no-one was really proud of being English anyway.