Personal Coaching - Definitions and Models by Dean Amory - HTML preview

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way. Information is individualized to the person, precise to his or

her situation, balanced with support, and in a way that opens up new

possibilities for the coachee.

3 Specific and Sensory Based

Giving specific information that is see-hear-feel so the coachee can

easily recognize and acknowledge it, giving it by pacing coachee's

experience, giving information that's factual, concise, succinct,

relevant, and useable for moving on toward objectives.

2 Convoluted

Giving convoluted and/or vague feedback that is not sensory based

in description, using one's own values and criteria about the

behavior rather than the coachee's criteria. "I think you ought to

really stop thinking being egocentric about that job, and develop

your skills."

1 Negative

Giving feedback quickly without much thought (impatiently),

without much consider about the state it would induce the coachee

into, criticizing, blaming, arguing, telling, making the information

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personal, rather than about behavior. "You're just not very good at

this, are you?"

0 Withholding

Withholding any response from the coachee, judging the coachee or

his or her behaviors

7) Receiving Feedback:

Hearing and asking about information that mirrors back how a

response came across, taking that in, reflecting upon it, asking

more questions about it, integrating what one finds useful in

order to improve performance toward a desired outcome.

5 Celebrating and Implementing

Actively seeking and making comments of appreciation, celebrating

the information as useful for improvement, recognizing how the

sensory information suggests patterns that call for implementing a

change in behavior, making plans for integrating it and enhancing

one's performance.

4 Questioning and Clarifying

Questioning the information by seeking clarification, asking for more

details about when, where, how, etc., reflecting upon the information

and making statements about how it fits or doesn't fit. Coachee in a

state of interest, curiosity, etc.

3 Acceptance and Exploration

Accepting the information by acknowledging it and exploring it, "Yes

I remember doing that. What did that mean to you?" "How did that

affect him?" Some exploration and clarification, but coachee

generally in a neutral state or a slightly negative one with low levels

of anger, fear, stress, etc.

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2 Silent

Silent listening to feedback, seemingly pondering some of it, but

asking no questions, not exploring its meaning, asking for

clarification.

1 Negative

Responding to the information in a negative emotional state (anger,

fear, stress, frustration, etc.) so that coachee in a reactive and

defensive state, saying things that immediately defend against the

information, arguing, deflecting, discounting, and disagreeing with

vigor.

0 Disengaged

Disengaged to the information, refusing to listen, walking away,

avoiding it and not dealing with it.

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1.4.7.5 CORE COACHING SKILLS

1. Establishing and maintaining a relationship of trust

Definition

Ensure a safe space and supportive relationship for personal

growth, discovery and transformation.

Effect

1. The client is open to sharing and receiving.

2. The client perceives the coach as a personal advocate.

3. The client sees transformation and growth as

manageable.

4. The client has realistic expectations of results and

responsibilities of coaching.

Key Elements

1. Mutual respect and acceptance.

2. Confidence and reassurance.

3. The client feels safe to share fears without judgment

from the coach.

2. Perceiving, affirming and expanding the client’s potential

Definition

Recognizes and help the client acknowledge and appreciate his

or her strengths and potential.

Effect

1. The client has greater appreciation of personal

capabilities and potential.

2. The client is more willing to take actions beyond

current paradigms or strategies.

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Key Elements

1. Being in empathy with the client.

2. Recognizing a wider range of possibilities.

3. Encouraging and empowering the client.

4. Challenging limiting beliefs.

5. Recognizing strengths of client and awareness of where

strengths support personal and organizational goals

(where appropriate).

3. Engaged listening

Definition

Give full attention to the words, nuances, and the unspoken

meaning of the client's communication; the coach is more

deeply aware of the client, his/her concerns and the source of

the issue, by listening beyond what the client is able to

articulate.

Effect

1. The client feels understood and validated – not judged.

2. The client communicates more effortlessly and

resourcefully.

Key Elements

1. The coach focuses on what the client expresses, both

verbally and nonverbally.

2. The coach listens beyond what the client articulates.

3. The coach is alert to discrepancies between what the

client is saying (words) and the client’s behavior and/or

emotions.

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4. Processing in the present

Definition

Focus full attention on the client, processing information at the

level of the mind, body, heart and/or spirit, as appropriate. The

coach expands the client’s awareness of how to experience

thoughts and issues on these various levels, when and as

appropriate. The coach utilizes what is happening in the session

itself (client’s behavior, patterns, emotions, and the relationship

between coach and client, etc.) to assist the client toward

greater self-awareness and positive, appropriate action.

Effect

1. The client is free to express and engage with present

reality.

2. The client is unencumbered by past or future

preoccupations or concerns.

3. The client benefits from coaching insight and support

on all levels.

4. The coach is highly attuned to subtle communications

from the client.

Key Elements

1. The coach is aware of the dynamics occurring within

the session, within the client, and between coach and

client, and understands how the dynamics are affecting

the client and the coaching.

2. The coach has a simultaneous and holistic awareness of

the client’s communications at all levels.

3. The coach is able to discern whether the client is

communicating from the past, present or future.

4. The coach allows the client the opportunity to process

and clarify the coach’s questions and comments.

5. The coach allows the client the opportunity to process

his or her own thoughts and responses.

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5. Expressing

Definition

Attention and awareness to how the coach communicates

commitment, direction, intent, and ideas – and the effectiveness

of this communication.

Effect

1. The coaching interaction is enhanced with the client

being at ease and trusting.

2. The client is open to understanding and/or questioning

any communication from the coach.

Key Elements

1. Respect.

2. Attentiveness.

3. Client-focused.

4. Clarity.

5. Appropriateness.

6. Clarifying

Definition

Reduce/eliminate

confusion

or

uncertainty;

increase

understanding and the confidence of the client.

Effect

1. The client and the coach move forward in a more

directed way.

2. Increased possibilities.

3. Decreased uncertainty.

4. Uncovering the unknown.

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Key Elements

1. Identify the most important issue while respecting

client’s preferences and limitations.

2. No judgment by the coach, no leading toward a

particular destination.

3. Identify key values and needs.

4. Facilitate alignment of purpose, vision and mission.

5. Identify blocks to progress.

7. Helping the client set and keep clear intentions

Definition

Helps the client become or remain focused and working towards

intended goals.

Effect

1. The client feels capable.

2. The client is clear about what he or she wants to

accomplish or transform.

3. The client is inspired by the possibilities.

4. The client moves forward purposefully.

Key Elements

1. Inquiring into the client’s intentions and goals.

2. Time spent on what is most important.

3. Clarifying direction of progress.

4. Periodically reviewing, revising and/or celebrating the

process and intentions.

8. Inviting possibility

Definition

Creating an environment that allows ideas, options and

opportunities to emerge.

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Effect

1. The coach enables expansion of thoughts and actions.

2. The client’s awareness is expanded.

3. The coach helps client transcend barriers.

4. The client is willing to leave his/her comfort zone.

5. The client has more options.

Key Elements

1. Trust, openness, curiosity, courage, and recognition of

potential.

2. The coach and the client communicate through

exploration and discovery.

3. Identify “internal” possibilities (e.g., personal greatness,

higher purpose) and “external” possibilities (e.g.,

resources, memes).

4. Possibilities are generated by the coach, the client or a

collaboration of the two.

9. Helping the client create and use supportive systems and

structures

Definition

Helping the client identify and build the relationships, tools,

systems and structures he or she needs to advance and sustain

progress.

Effect

The client is confident and secure in moving forward, knowing

that resources are available or can be created.

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Key Elements

1. The coach suggests possible support systems and

structures appropriate to the client’s needs.

2. The coach prompts the client to identify support

systems and structures the client has but is not utilizing

effectively.

3. The coach assists the client to identify areas in which

the client feels a need for support and structure.

4. The client understands the value of appropriate

support systems.

5. The client’s progress toward their goals or intentions is

more sustainable.

© 2007- 2011 International Association of Coaching.

All use, reproduction, distribution and modification of these

materials is subject to the terms and conditions of the license.

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1.5 MOTIVATIONAL INTERVIEWING

1.5.1 PRINCIPLE:

Motivational interviewing aims at helping coachees to explore

their reasons to change.

1.5.2

ELEMENTS

OF

MOTIVATIONAL

INTERVIEWING

Motivational interviewing involves (Miller & Rollnick, 1991):

- Expressing empathy

Motivational interviewing consists of more listening and less

‘telling’.

- Developing discrepancy

Focus the patient’s attention on discrepancy:

‘I like my present situation and way of living, but I know I will

need a job to sustain myself and I hate the hassles with my

family.’

- Raising awareness:

‘How do you see the connection between your present situation

and the tensions inside the family?

- Avoidingargumentation

The coachee, and not the coach, is encouraged to argue for

change.

- Rolling with resistance

Try not to provide solutions. Provide opportunity for the

coachee to identify solutions - sometimes with your help).

If the coach resists, this may be an indication that you are taking

a wrong approach.

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- Helping the coachee consider issues from other perspectives.

For example:

- ask the coachee’s view of your findings.

- Ask them what they think the view of a significant other

might be etc.

- Supporting self-efficacy

The coachee’s confidence in their ability to implement and

sustain changed behaviour will influence whether or not they

attempt and persist with efforts to change.

1.5.3 GUIDELINES FOR MOTIVATIONAL

INTERVIEWING

Explore positive and negative consequences

Provide opportunity to explore the coachee’s specific

concerns

Use reflective listening and summaries to understand and

communicate understanding

 Elicit self-motivational statements:

 ‘What are the things you like and don’t like about your …?’

 ‘What have other people said about your …?’

‘What makes you think you might need to change?’

 Help the coachee decide whether to change:

 ‘Where does this leave you now?’

‘What does this mean for your …?’

 Avoid:

o

arguing

o

imposing a label on them

o

telling them what they must do

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o

trying to break down denial with confrontation

 It should never feel as though you are confronting the

coachee. Instead, it should feel the both of you are

confronting the problem(s) together.

1.5.4 BRIEF MOTIVATIONAL INTERVIEWING

Brief motivational interviewing and opportunistic interventions

are well researched (Rollnick et al., 1999).

Two factors are central:

- Importance — e.g. some think it is important to change, but are

not clear how they can do it

- Confidence — e.g. some are confident they can change, but it is

not important to them

Brief motivational interviewing consists of the following eight

components:

1. Scaling questions

Ask questions such as:

‘On a scale of 0–5 how important is it for you to achieve this

goal?’

‘On a scale of 0–5 how confident are you about reaching this

goal?’

You can use scaling to help quickly identify the most important

areas to work on.

You can then use this information:

‘Why is it so high?’ (Even if a ‘1’: ‘Why isn’t it a zero?’)

‘What will help keep you at this level?’

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‘What will help you move higher?’

‘How high does it have to be before you make an attempt to

change?’

‘What can I do to help?’

2. Exploring importance

‘What are the benefits of your present situation?’

‘What are some of the less good things?’

3. Summarise

‘Where does that leave you now?’

4. Building confidence

‘In the past, what has been helpful when you have tried to …?’

‘Is there anything you can learn from these past attempts?’

‘Is there anything you can learn from other people’s attempts to

change?’

5. Exchanging information

How you share information and your expertise is important.

‘How much do you already know about …?’

‘Some people find that …how about you?’

‘How do you see the connection between …. and your

problems?’

‘Is there anything more you’d like to know about …?’

6. Reducing resistance

Understand what causes the resistane that the coachee is

feeling:

The coachee may be holding on to an existing situation, no

matter how bad it is, because at least, they are familiar with it

and they are afraid of how changing to a new situation will

affect their lives.

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Or they may have the feeling that you are pushing them and are

taking over control over their life.

Whenever the coachee seems to get nowhere , hesitates to make

decisions or take action:

 Slow down and express empathy, especially about the

difficulty of changing.

 Emphasise personal choice and control.

 Don’t try to provide solutions — invite the coachee to re-

confirm his goals and to collaborate in providing a solution.

The onus is then on him, not you, to make a decision to

change.

 Build up confidence by encouraging him take small steps

and achieve small successes.

 Challenge any irrational fears, beliefs and convictions that

you discover : Use the ABCDE Coaching model (2.5.1),

 Practise the questions about confronting fear (3.2)

 Learn about dealing with obstacles and resistance (4.2)

 Redefine fear (4.34)

Examples of coachees expressing feelings of resistance:

I don’t know why I did it. Looks like I just keep repeating the

same mistakes all over. I guess that’s how I am, I just can't help

it!

What exactly stopped you from using the correct approach?

How did doing this make you feel?

I know it’s wrong to …., but I just can’t decide to …

It sounds as though something is blocking you from …

What is the worst thing that could happen if ….

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Ahh, never mind: I guess I was born stupid, never learned a

thing and probably will die stupid!

Maybe, but do you remember what exactly kept you from …

That's a hard one.

You don't have to go into all the details, but can you give me

the gist of it?

What do I care?

It sounds as though you've lost interest all of a sudden.

I really don't know what happened back then.

It must be hard, having to remember those things.

I am confused and don’t know what to do anymore: one person

says one thing, another something else and whatever I try,

things seem to always turn out wrong for me.

It's always good to get advice from other people, but it

doesn't make it any easier to choose a solution that really

suits you.

Serious problem? Oh well, I don’t really see this as a problem. I

have learned to live with it, you know.

If that is what you want, then that is good. But I do

remember there is a reason why you came to see me.

The world is such a mess, there's not much I can do.

That's true, but how about starting with your own

situation?

Oh no, don't start all that again. Why can't we give it a rest?

It sounds like something is still troubling you.

I didn't do the homework, just didn't get round to it.

Looks like it is hard to do the tasks we agreed to. What is

really stopping you from doing them?

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7. Motivating

In spite of the fact that the coachee knows he is in trouble and

has come to see you about it, he isn't always motivated to really

work on his problems.

He can also get discouraged in the course of the sessions.

It is up to you then to motivate him again by encouraging him to

look at it from different angles.

Here are some motivating sentences that you could use,

followed by some examples:

What would encourage you?

What would swing you into action?

What inner resources could possibly strengthen your will

to succeed?

How could you speed things up?

How much time do you allocate yourself?

The sooner you start, the quicker you can reach your goal.

We could go over everything again, but how about 'starting'

today?

Every journey starts with the first step.

Sometimes you need to just grin and bear it, and go on.

Examples:

Despite all this coaching, I give up. I just can't make it through

the month.

I think you've come a long way, hold on. Let's look at what

we can come up with to make it through the coming week.

What do you think you need for that?

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Nice plans we've made, but I just don't seem to be able to carry

them out.

What's holding you back?

I keep forgetting!

How can you stop yourself from forgetting?

Write things on a piece of paper and put it on the back of the

door, so I see it before I leave the house.

That's a good idea. Here's a piece of paper...

I want to quit school because I don't think I will ever graduate.

Maybe, but you've studied hard for four years. You only

have a few more months to go. Actually you are virtually

there and now you want to throw away four years, just like

that?

Bit of a waste, eh?

It's your choice to throw away four years of effort.

I'm scared to death I will flunk.

So it's very important to you that you make it.

Yes, I didn't put in four years f