Parenting After Divorce - A Complete Guide HTML version

Older children tend to respond to the divorce in two distinct ways. The first
way is to see the divorce as something between the parents, and continue to
have a good relationship with both. The second way is to see one parent as
the victim and one as the villain, and simply refuse to interact with that
parent. Again, it is very important to facilitate, encourage and even actively
promote the interaction of the child with the parent, even if it is short or brief
Often the older children will volunteer to take on additional roles to help the
family. It is critical that kids do not see themselves as responsible for the
care and well being of the parents or siblings through the divorce. While they
may volunteer to do a bit more, they should never feel obligated to become
an adult in the household. It is critical for both parents to remember that
these mature children are really just kids, and they need to have time for
Keep in mind that keeping the lines of communication open and spending
time with your child each day discussing their accomplishments, concerns
and questions can help both parents stay in touch with their children as well
as address any concerns or problems the kids may be having. It is common
for children to speak with one parent or the other, so parents must be able to
communicate their children's concerns, interests and problems with each
other so they can work together in a cohesive manner.